A 'Little' Problem
by HobbitsandDwarves
Summary: Filled with a lifetime of aches and regrets that he knew was never going to go away, Bilbo resigned himself to dying in the Undying Lands without any sense of closure. Until Yavanna stepped in with the offer of a second chance to save the Royal Line of Durin. But there's a catch... Bilbo has to do it all as a six-and-a-half-inches tall fairy!
1. Chapter 1

Hello FFN! To be honest, I'm cross posting this story from Archive of Our Own, (AO3), because a reviewer there asked me to, something about the format on this site being easier to read, I think. Chapters 1 - 16 will be up one after the other very shortly, after some start and end note changes I need to make.

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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One lone and extremely old hobbit sat under a tree in the Valinor. Bilbo Baggins sighed as he watched the eternal living elves laugh and be merry during one of their many different celebrations. He couldn't remember which one it was that they were celebrating and he honestly didn't care anymore. In his younger years, he would have promptly been horrified at the revelation… but he wasn't 41 years old any longer.

He was 132 years old, and was now simply waiting for Yavanna to call him to her pastures. He wasn't a fool and knew he wouldn't live long enough for the hurts of the past to be healed before he died. All of those hurts…

 _… The hobbit had watched the funeral with a dead stare. Tears flowed from his eyes, but he didn't react to the wetness, only gazed as Thorin Oakenshield, and his nephews, Fíli and Kíli, were laid to rest in stone tombs deep within Erebor. Two hands unknowingly rested on the hobbit's stomach. He had only found out less than an hour before the funeral, and his dwarf, his lover, his Thorin, now would never know that he would have been a father in about 8 months._

 _… The Halfling returned to his home only to discover that his belongings were being auctioned off by his aunt, Camellia Sackville-Baggins. She called him a liar, stating that he was not her nephew Bilbo Baggins, and that Bag End now belonged to her son and his new wife. He was already hurting from the lack of three specific dwarves in his life, did she really have to cut him off from his father's side of the family and make things worse?_

 _…. His father's family had been horrified when they discovered that he was pregnant out of wedlock, and by a dwarf, no less. Bilbo had refused to end the pregnancy, the babe being the last piece of Thorin that he had, and he was too far along, (7 1/2 months), to terminate the pregnancy anyway. He had two choices, keep the babe and have his feet hair burned off, thus casting him and his son out of the Shire with nothing but the clothes on their backs, or give the babe to one of the Baggins clan members to raise away from his 'strangeness'._

 _… Not 2 minutes after giving birth, Bilbo had to give his newborn son to his Uncle Fosco and Aunt Ruby Baggins née Bolger. He had no choice, no one to turn to if he had kept his baby. His kin saw him as strange. Most of the dwarves saw him as 'the Arkenstone Thief' and would not welcome him, but would most likely take his son to raise as a Prince of Durin's Line. If one of the company aided him, they would most likely be banished for what they did, and Bilbo could not do that to his friends._

 _… Frodo was the only thing that kept him going in life. Uncle Fosco's and Aunt Ruby's son, Drogo Baggins, and his new wife, Primula Baggins née Brandybuck, were given Frodo to raise after they married. To his beloved son, Bilbo was known as the crazy old cousin who had gone off on an adventure and was not right in his head anymore, and then as Uncle Bilbo after he adopted the boy back into his life when Drogo and Primula drowned. Frodo never knew that Bilbo was his birth mother._

 _… Bilbo wept as his beloved son set out from Rivendell. After his display when he had given Frodo his 'letter-opener', Sting, and the mithril shirt that Thorin had given to him before the Battle of Five Armies, he didn't trust himself to bid his child good-bye at the gate, fearing that he would attempt to take the One Ring of Sauron again. So he watched from a window a good distance away. It would be the last time he saw ever Frodo remotely whole again._

 _… Frodo screamed. It was the day again, the day oh-so many years later that the Nazgul's blade had pieced the hobbit's flesh. He would always have these nightmares and phantom aches till the end of his days. As much as Bilbo wanted to go and comfort the lad, his legs wouldn't allow him to move on his own, and he had to rely on others to tend to his son. Lord Elrond had long ago figured that when Frodo cried out in pain like this was when Bilbo was the most coherent, and asked if he would go with Gandalf, Frodo, and several others to the Undying Lands for healing in a few months. Of course, Bilbo said yes, if only for the sake his child._

So much hurt had happened throughout his life, namely because he had been a fussy hobbit who had cared more about maintaining his family's respectable reputation then truly finding a way to keep the ones he cared about whole and safe. He wished that he had turned around after he had gotten to the Shire and gone back to Rivendell, or not left Rivendell at all. Or maybe even not have left Beorn's house after winter had ended, like the gentle skin-changer had offered.

Oh how _selfish_ he had been…

He could have done more on the journey to Erebor, like learn how to use Sting properly, and not be so fussy about handkerchiefs and when the next meal was going to be. He could have done research about his 'funny little magic ring' instead of keeping it tucked away for his own personal use. The elves surely would have had _something_ on the rings of power, and he could have destroyed it instead of the cursed item ruining Frodo's life.

"You wish to change these events?" a woman's voice said.

Bilbo looked up, and even with his failing eyes he could see that she wasn't an elf, or even one of the Maia. She was a Valar, and if the green and growing plants that covered her dress and grew in her long hair were any indication, she was either, Vana or…

"Lady Yavanna." Bilbo bowed as best he could.

"Rise, my little hobbit." Yavanna replied, and Bilbo sat back up, although it took him a few extra seconds to get there.

"Is it my time?" Bilbo asked.

"Maybe, it depends on your answer." Yavanna replied. "Do you recall what I asked?"

Did he wish to change these events, the ones that had caused so much hurt? Keep Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli from dying… actually have good relationships with _all_ members of his family… never have Frodo march off to return with his spirit tattered and torn from all he had to endure…

"Of course I do." Bilbo nodded. "But that is not possible. No one has ever gone back in time to change what has happened. Glorfindel, Beren, and Gandalf were brought back to life, but none of them went back in time to redo their life. They just continued on at present time."

"That is not true little hobbit." Yavanna replied, much to Bilbo's shock. "Every 50-100 years or so, someone is sent back to change things. Some do for better, and some do for worse. You've just never heard about them because history was altered and they didn't say they were sent back. And if some did, they were written off as crazy and locked away because they were 'unfit for society'."

Bilbo shivered. He understood. If he did choose to do this, he couldn't tell anyone due to the risk of being locked away before the quest began. And then his dwarves would probably get eaten by the trolls. Ugh.

"If I did do this… when would I go back to?" Bilbo asked.

"Shortly before the start of the quest to Erebor." Yavanna answered.

It was then that Bilbo realized that the world around him had… frozen, like time had stalled. The elves weren't moving, frozen in mid-dance or mid-song or even mid-feast. His eyes fell on Frodo, who was sitting on a bench next to Gandalf. The two were 'discussing' if they should launch some fireworks, (Frodo), or not, (Gandalf). In Bilbo's opinion, his son was going to win that 'discussion'.

Bilbo's heart ached as he looked at the lad. He desperately had wanted to tell the boy that he was his mother and that Thorin Oakenshield was his father, but he had never found the courage to do so, letting the boy believe Bilbo was nothing more than his cousin/uncle. If going back would change that, change everything so that Frodo would grow up with his true parents in Erebor…

"I'll do it." Bilbo bobbed his head, not willing to pass up this chance to have _all_ of his dwarves live until they were old and grey, and the chance to raise Frodo with the dwobbit never having to endure the journey to Mordor.

"I thought you would." Yavanna nodded and stepped back.

Yavanna raised her arms and slowly lowered them. She glowed even brighter, and Bilbo had to shield his eyes. The petals of cherry blossoms fell over him, and Bilbo felt himself slide into unconsciousness.

"One other thing, your form will be changed." Yavanna whispered, laughing softly.

His form? Was she talking about his swordsmanship skills, or rather his _lack_ of skill? Her improving his skill would be helpful… Or was she referring to his outward appearance? It was most likely the latter, or she wouldn't be laughing.

Oh shit! He wasn't going to be sent back to Middle-Earth as an orc was he!?

More laughter… and then darkness.

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Bilbo awoke to hear birds chirping and the sun gently warming his skin. His hazel eyes fluttered open, and the first thing he did was look at his hands. Oh good, they looked normal. More youthful, like age 40 youthful, but normal. Stretching his arms above his head, Bilbo realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt, which was odd. He always was a stickler for nightclothes, no matter what his age was.

But why was his back aching so much? He wasn't old any more. Sitting up, Bilbo paused. His bed in Bag End was a lot bigger than he remembered, the same with the rest of his room. Then he noted that the ache in his back had eased a touch, but a glitter and something twitching on his back caught his attention. Turning his head back, Bilbo felt his jaw drop. Behind him, attached to him, was a pair of golden transparent wings.

Bilbo started screaming when he realized what had happened.

His bed, and his room, looked a lot bigger because he was _six and a half inches tall_! And that was because he was a **_fairy_**!

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Bilbo had stopped screaming. He was now curled up in his oversized nightshirt, shaking and trying very hard not to cry. When Yavanna said that his form would change, he hadn't realized that she would change him to a _fairy_! Then again, it was said that his mother's side of the family, the Took side, had dalliances with Fae or Fairies when they first settled in the Shire. Bilbo always thought they were rumors or that they had found themselves partnered with an Elf.

Then someone knocked on the front door. Bilbo gasped, and sat up, his oversized nightshirt pooling around his naked body. He couldn't let anyone see him like this! Unless it was Gandalf… Then the hobbit-turned-tiny-fairy paused. The knocks hadn't been the light hobbit knocks, they had been three hard pounds. Bilbo had heard many hard pounds over his life, and only knew one person, one _dwarf_ , that had ever knocked like that.

"Thorin?" Bilbo whispered, and glanced to his window.

Yep, the sun was defiantly up, though it was only early morning… could he dare to hope…? Could it be possible that he had not been sent back alone? Bilbo looked for the calendar that hung in his room. April 14th, 1331 by Shire Reckoning, or the year 2931* of the Third Age, two weeks before Gandalf would come to his smial in search of a burglar. Hope filled his body. He rolled off to the side of his bed and swung his legs down before realizing what a long drop it now was to the floor.

"AH!" Bilbo screamed as he fell.

The hobbit-fairy grabbed his bedding and found himself dangling halfway from the top of the bed to the floor. This was going to be a problem. Slowly Bilbo unclenched his fist and began to lower himself.

"Master Baggins?"

Thorin's voice. Bilbo looked up as he heard the dwarf's boots clumping threw his smial. Oh, he'd better have wiped his feet first. Wait, had Thorin heard him scream as he tumbled over the edge of his bed? That tiny shriek?

"Bilbo?" Thorin called, sounding worried.

That sealed it. There was no way that the Thorin who had dismissed Bilbo as a grocer before even getting to know him would be this concerned about him before the quest to Erebor.

"I'm in my bedroom!" Bilbo yelled as he tried to climb down his bedding some more.

It didn't work out that way though. Despite Bilbo trying to climb down, his new wings kept fluttering like mad and lifted him up and away from the bed. Bilbo clung tightly to the covers, but his add-ons flapped even more, pulling him away until he lost his grip and flapped back a few inches. And then his wings stopped totally. Bilbo was now above the hard wooden floor with nothing but air around him.

This was going to hurt.

"GYAH!" Bilbo screamed as he began to plummet down chest first. "Oof!"

Touch down…?

"Ow." Bilbo groaned.

The landing had hurt, just as he had predicted. He opened his eyes, (when had they closed?), and saw that he was not on the floor like he thought he was. He was a good two inches away from the ground, lying on a hand. Large, calloused, and a bit dirty, but it was a hand. Cloth covered his lower body as he was pulled up and away from the floor. Panting, Bilbo turned his head as he sat up and pulled his legs under him while pulling the blue handkerchief around his front. Raven black hair and short beard, regal nose, noble brow, and piercing sapphire blue eyes.

Thorin Oakenshield.

"Thorin…" Bilbo whispered, and nearly winced at how broken he sounded.

"Bilbo." Thorin breathed, panting from his rush through the hobbit's smial.

The two stared at each other, the hobbit-fairy kneeling in the dwarf's hand. Then the tears came. Bilbo began to cry again, this time from sheer relief. This was Thorin, _his_ Thorin. The Thorin he had stabbed an orc for, had followed threw a sick forest and down a rapid filled river for, had given his love to and rejoiced when it was returned, had gone into a dragon's den in search of a jewel for, had given away said jewel to prevent war for, had chased after too warn about another army for… had held his hand as his life faded away…

Bilbo didn't need to say anything. Thorin brought his right hand up close to the left side of his neck, where little arms clung tightly to him and small tears dampened his clothes. He knew that Bilbo had been hurt by his actions, first belittling the hobbit before the Carrock, banishing him when he tried to prevent war, tossing aside their love and secretly shared moments like they were nothing more than dirty laundry beyond salvaging. And then he had gone and died. Now Thorin had the chance to make things right with his small burglar.

Speaking of small…

"What happened to you?" Thorin asked as Bilbo's tears began to subside. "You had about three more feet in height last time I saw you."

"Yavanna said my form would be changed, and I woke up like this." Bilbo replied as he wiped his eyes dry with the hankie that was still covering his naked body. "I'm just glad I wasn't turned into an orc."

"Fair point." Thorin admitted.

The dwarf leaned against one of the post of Bilbo's bed frame. His hobbit that had traveled with him to Erebor once before or not, Bilbo would pitch a fit if he dirtied up his bed sheets and night clothes. But at this current size, all of Bilbo's clothes were pretty much useless to him, and Thorin doubted that the hobbit-fairy had a sewing needle his size to make adjustments with.

"Now what?" Thorin sighed.

"I guess that we get go to Tuckborough." Bilbo replied as he adjusted the blue handkerchief a bit. "There were rumors that my ancestors had dalliances with the fair folk, but I had always dismissed them as rumors or believed that they had been elves. If anyone would have information, it would be the Took's."

Why couldn't his clothes have shrunk with him? Bilbo growled as he pulled at the handkerchief again. Thorin chuckled, which earned him a dark glare from the hobbit-fairy, which got more chuckles from the dwarf. Bilbo's glares made him look like he was pouting, and that made him look cute, and Bilbo hated that, and it was just so _funny_! Of course, you did not tell Bilbo he was cute. It made him turn up his nose and declare that gentlehobbits were never ever even considered to be cute by any standards.

"I think we need to make you some temporary clothes first." Thorin said, once he got his sniggers under control. "You can't go about the Shire in my hankie, or your bare skin."

"I should go about in just my skin." Bilbo mused as Thorin stood, earning a startled look from the dwarf. "See what sort of scandal I can cause before we leave for Erebor."

"You mean letting your kin see that you are six and a half inches tall and have wings isn't scandalous enough?" Thorin resorted.

Bilbo just grinned impishly, and the dwarf groaned. He recalled the tales that Bilbo had told to his nephews, and how Fíli and Kíli had tried to get the hobbit to help them with their pranks, but they were, _thankfully_ , met with refusal. Bilbo had claimed he was too old to participate in such shenanigans anymore and that it was the younger generations turn now. But that tales of the mischief the hobbit had gotten into in his youth was on par with Fíli and Kíli, and with Thorin and his younger brother Frerin, before the dwarf had died at Azanulbizar.

"Alright." Bilbo conceded. "Some sort of clothes for the tiny hobbit-fairy-thingy."

"Hobbit-fairy-thingy?" Thorin repeated.

"Well I still look like a hobbit, just a whole lot shorter and with wings." Bilbo pointed out.

Thorin had to concede. Bilbo still had his curly hair, large pointed ears, (they were _not_ elf ears, they were _wider_!), small hobbit tummy, and large feet with hair growing on top. The only physical differences were the height and the wings.

"If you would direct me to your sewing supplies I'll see if I can make you some pants, and possibly a shirt." Thorin looked around the hobbit's bedroom, as if the supplies would start jumping up and down to indicate their location.

"They're in my sitting room." Bilbo said. "And you can sew?"

"Someone had to repair my torn trousers when I was on the road." Thorin replied as he left the bedroom in search of the sitting room. "My sister certainly wasn't around to do it."

"Turn around." Bilbo sighed, a fond smile on his face. "Still route challenged above a mountain, I see."

Thorin grunted in response, making Bilbo snicker. Thorin's sense of direction was a bit of a sore spot with the dwarf. He was willing to put up with some ribbing and gentle teasing, but only so much and from certain dwarves or one special hobbit-now-fairy. So, Bilbo dropped the subject and asked Thorin to close the door to his smial before some overly curious neighbors took the opened door as an invitation to invite themselves in.

Once the door was closed, Bilbo directed Thorin to the sitting room, and to his sewing items. The dwarf gently placed the handkerchief wrapped Bilbo on a pillow that was laid flat so the hobbit could keep close. Then he expertly threaded the needle with some string, and started to rummage through the scrap bag in search of several large enough piece of cloth that he could change into clothes.

"Thorin." Bilbo's voice made him turn to look at the hobbit-fairy. "You're here early. Last time you got lost twice and were late. How could you possibly be here two weeks early?"

"Mahal appeared to me in his halls." Thorin replied. "This was after the War of the Ring, you and our son had departed for the undying lands."

At this point, Bilbo choked up as he remembered Frodo. How in all of Middle-Earth would he conceive their son _now_? He was tiny, probably even smaller than Thorin's dwarfhood, so there was no way that they would actually be able perform the act of conceiving a child. Had the hobbit-fairy condemned their small dwobbit child to not exist with his choice? Thorin picked him up and held him close again as tears flowed out of his eyes again. He couldn't imagine a life without his dwobbit child, and didn't want to know what would happen if Frodo didn't exist.

"The dwarves in the Halls of Mahal can view loved ones on the mortal plains, through some magic of the Valar." Thorin continued. "I kept close watch on you and our son. I wept with you as you made the choice to provide for him, thus sacrificing him knowing the truth, but not ever knowing hunger or fear at such a young age."

Bilbo's body shook as he continued to cry, the occasional whimper slipping loose. There had been times that he swore he felt Thorin's presence, and he had been right. Thorin knew of the heartache he had gone through, even if he hadn't physically been there with him. He had actually thought he had gone crazy, but the presence and Frodo's existence were what kept him from killing himself.

"Mahal told me that Yavanna had petitioned Eru Ilúvatar to give you another chance." Thorin went on with his story. "So he petitioned on my behalf, claiming that you didn't deserve to go through the quest and all that had happened after alone again. Of course I jumped at the chance to be able to help you again. After all the shit I put you threw last time, it was the least I could do.

"As he cast his… spell, or whatever it was, he told me you would immediately need my aid because his wife has an odd sense of humor at times. I awoke the day after I had appealed to the other dwarf lords to march on Erebor and was rejected. Instead of spending the next week trying to convince them to help, since I knew that they would not, I bid them farewell and made all haste here as quick as I could. And I can see that Mahal was right. You did, and do, need help."

"No kidding." Bilbo sighed as he wiped his eyes dry again. "I woke up just this morning. And I was a good three feet shorter than normal, and had some extra appendages that like to cause trouble."

"I saw." Thorin admitted with a twisted smile.

"Excuse me?" Bilbo blinked.

"Excused." Thorin smirked at Bilbo's glare. "I saw your wings pull you away from your bed, you clinging to the sheets the way Kíli clings to raspberry tarts. I admit of all the things I thought you would need my aid with, _this_ was not one of them."

 _This_ being, getting from point A to point B without getting so badly side-tracked by a pair of wings, making new clothes, and then to be journeying to ones family to see if they had any info on what Bilbo could do now that he was a fairy. It was a bit mind boggling for the dwarf, and the hobbit, to have such a thing happen.

"I wasn't expecting this either." Bilbo sighed, and curled up against Thorin's neck.

The two lapsed into silence, which was soon broken by a rumbling tummy. Both hobbit and dwarf blinked at the noise and looked at each other before the stomach sounded off again. The hobbit blushed as his hands covered his belly, as if that would stop the noises it was making. Another loud grumble was heard, even noisier then the first two.

"Looks like you need some food." Thorin said as he bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"Yeah." Bilbo agreed, his face red like one of his tomatoes.

"I'll be right back." Thorin set the small hobbit-fairy back on his pillow and went to the hobbit's pantry.

It was there that Thorin realized another problem. All of the food here was meant for a full grown hobbit, not a six and a half inches tall hobbit-fairy. With a sigh, Thorin grabbed a plate and placed some small portions of bread, meat, and fruit on the plate. Hopefully, Bilbo would be able to tear the food into smaller pieces. Thorin himself would eat what the little hobbit-fairy didn't consume. Of course, Thorin should have remembered that hobbits have a _huge_ appetite. And being tinier didn't side-track that large desire for food one bit. Bilbo hummed contentedly as he finished the last of the bread, before stretching out on his pillow and curling up like a cat with the hankie tucked around him. Thorin chuckled as Bilbo dozed off.

There really should be a law against looking that cute.

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*Yes, this is 10 years prior to the book/movie cannon. Bilbo is 40, not 50. I like having him younger.

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Pairings seen for the first time: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield

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 _Timeline_

Some point in October of the 1st year of the Fourth Age: Bilbo agrees to Lady Yavanna's proposal to travel back in time. Thorin agrees to Lord Aulë/Mahal's proposal to travel back in time. Bilbo and Thorin Time Travel into the past.

April 14th, year 2931 of the Third Age: two weeks before the start of the book/movie, Bilbo awakens in Bag End as a hobbit-fairy, and Thorin arrives early with his memories of their past lifetime.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Bilbo yawned and stretched as he opened his eyes, not really focusing on anything. What a weird dream he had. He had been turned into a fairy by Yavanna, and Thorin, _his_ Thorin, had turned up minutes later, sent back by Mahal so they could help each other on the quest to Erebor.

"Bilbo?"

Never mind, there was Thorin now. The dwarf had several pieces of what Bilbo assumed was his new clothes, but with all the fabric scraps around, the hobbit-fairy couldn't be sure. Thorin stood and stretched while flexing his hands, as if to get any feeling besides pins and needles back into them. A quick glance out the window told Bilbo it was only mid-day or so. Guess his transformation and breakdown had worn him out more than he realized.

Suddenly, Bilbo was angry. Angry that Thorin had thought so little of him without getting to know him, irritated at all the times the dwarf had talked down on him, and he was especially mad that the son of Mahal gone and died on him, leaving him to suffer with a broken heart for over 90 years and having to give their child away.

"Bilbo?" Thorin knelt next to the pillow Bilbo was resting on. "Are you okay?"

Bilbo didn't reply. He just got to his feet, jumped onto Thorin's shoulder, leaving the handkerchief behind, grabbed the braid that was hanging in front of the dwarf's left ear, and yanked on it as hard as he could.

"AIY!" Thorin yelped at the sudden sting, his face twisting to one of pain.

"How dare you!" Bilbo hissed, tugging on the braid as often as he could. "How dare you leave me all alone, with no one to help me recover from the aftermath of the battle. How dare you waltz back into my life, after 90 years of emptiness. How dare you act as if nothing is wrong! How dare you, you…"

Bilbo let go of the braid and collapsed into a crying fit on Thorin's shoulder again, his wings twitching and his whole body shaking as he sobbed. Thorin's black mane fell over Bilbo's right shoulder, and the handkerchief covered his lower body again with Thorin's hand covering the handkerchief, supporting the small hobbit-fairy as he wept. The dwarf's thumb slipped between the hobbit-fairy's shoulder blades, and wings, to gently attempt to soothe his distraught companion.

Slowly, Bilbo's weeping subsided to soft sniffles. He still shivered a little bit, but felt a better since he had gotten around 90 years of hurt and anger mostly taken care of with his little temper tantrum. Pulling away, Bilbo wiped his eyes clear of tears and looked back up to Thorin's face. The dwarf had a tortured expression on his face, but it was quickly moved aside in favor of looking concerned and worried about the hobbit-fairy in his hands.

"Better?" Thorin whispered.

"Yeah." Bilbo sighed, and the dwarf gently lowered his hand so Bilbo, and the handkerchief, could slide back onto his pillow. "I'm sorry."

"You are well within your rights to be angry at me." Thorin replied, still rubbing his thumb between Bilbo's shoulder blades. "If you want, you could demand my braids as compensation for what I did."

"No." Bilbo shook his head. "How would you explain that to your kin? 'Hey everyone, guess what? I went gold mad and nearly started a war while attempting to kill the only hobbit with common sense at Erebor, said hobbit pregnant with my child!' I don't think it go over so well."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Thorin had to concede.

"And I forgave you." Bilbo continued, making the dwarf look at him. "It took 20 years of cursing all things under the sun, many bouts of weeping, and strong, (along with very sudden), temper tantrums after your death, but I forgave you."

Thorin let out the breath he hadn't ever realized he had been holding. Truly, this small creature before him, (no pun intended, even though he was smaller than the last time they had met), was more honorable then he had ever realized. A small smile came to Thorin's face, and it was mimicked back to him by Bilbo.

And then Bilbo's stomach rumbled.

"Again?" Thorin's eyebrows shot up.

"May I remind you my stomach is about the size of a large blueberry right now?" Bilbo replied with a flat look. "I'm going to get hungry quicker when I'm this small."

"Let's get you some more food then." Thorin responded. "But first…"

Bilbo's curiosity was spiked as Thorin reached for the small end table at the end of the couch and grabbed one of the small piles of what wasn't scrap, but the new clothes he had made. The dwarf laid the items out for the hobbit to see, and Bilbo found himself grinning at the sight of new outfits, even some undergarments.

There were no buttons on either of the shirts Thorin had made, (which made sense because all of the buttons that Bilbo had were all too big now). One of the shirts was red, had long sleeves, and had a rectangle shaped hole in the back for his wings. The other top was dark blue, had no sleeves, tied at the base of his neck, and the back shirt line came up to a touch below his wings. A halter top, Bilbo's mind supplied. One pair of pants was brown and the other black, but both would come to his mid-calf. And there even was a small strap of leather to use as a belt.

"Thanks." Bilbo nodded to Thorin before diving under the hankie with his new garments.

Thorin didn't have to wait long. Bilbo came out in the dark blue shirt and black pants, and had an expectant look on his face. Thorin blinked, and then figured it out. He lowered his hand for Bilbo to climb on, and they both went into the pantry for Bilbo to pick out his food.

"When do you want to go to the Took's?" Thorin asked, munching on some turkey and apple slices.

"Hmm." Bilbo hummed as he ate his own bits of turkey. "You said that after you woke up in Middle-Earth again, you came here as fast as you could, right?"

"Yes…" Thorin nodded, not quite sure what Bilbo was getting at.

"Dawn tomorrow, or the next day." Bilbo replied. "Your pony needs to rest after such a long trek."

"I will have you know that dwarf ponies are much tougher then you actually believe them to be." Thorin scowled.

"Right." Bilbo smirked. "That's why they bolt whenever the wargs howl."

Thorin grumbled and huffed at Bilbo's pony's bolting comment, mumbling something about the trolls already having them spooked. Bilbo snickered at Thorin's huffiness. It was just too funny.

"You need a bath." Bilbo announced quite suddenly.

Thorin paused in his grumbles and looked at the hobbit-fairy with wide eyes. While he had no qualms about being in his bare skin around others, Bilbo had been a bit more… _modest_ , was the polite term. It had taken ages on their journey for the hobbit to stop blushing and stuttering every single time one of the dwarves even took off their shirts for a sparring session, much less when they went skinny dipping in a nearby stream.

"You _stink_ Thorin, there's no two ways around it." Bilbo crossed his arms at the blank look on his dwarf's face.

"Very well." Thorin sighed, and offered his hand to the small hobbit, who immediately hopped on, taking the last of his strawberry with him.

Finding the bathroom was easy since Thorin had accessed it a few times that day, and he had to admit, he was impress by the plumbing in this place. Bilbo's father, Bungo Baggins, had known what he was doing when he hired a dwarf to lay the plumbing out in the smial he had built for his fiancée-and-soon-to-be-wife, Belladonna Took. Fiancé

Thorin let Bilbo off at the counter and began to fill the tub with water. The dwarf began for the necessary soaps and hair products, finding them in a different cupboard then the one Bilbo was on. When he turned back to the tub, it was to find that it was nearly overflowing. Shutting off the water, Thorin began to strip his clothes.

"Um, Th-Thorin?" Bilbo stuttered out, making the dwarf chuckle.

"Bilbo, you're still not going on about 'modest and respectable behavior', are you?" Thorin asked as he looked over to the counter.

Only to discover that Bilbo wasn't there anymore. Looking around franticly, Thorin found that Bilbo's wings had pulled him off of the countertop and had him floating over the filled tub. And then the hovering stopped.

Bilbo screamed bloody murder as he dropped into the tub. If he was his normal size, it wouldn't have been a problem, but the bathtub was now an ocean to the poor hobbit-fairy with little-to-no swimming skills. That had been quite a shock to find out from the sick hobbit during their stay in Laketown after traveling in, or on, barrels to escape from the Elvenking Thranduil, and the orc pack that had been waiting to ambush them.

Thorin threw himself to the edge of the bathtub and quickly spotted Bilbo's wiggling outline under the water. Thrusting his arms down, he got his hands under and around Bilbo, and pulled him out. The poor hobbit-fairy coughed up the water that was in his lungs while clutching tightly to the dwarf's fingers and thumbs.

"You're just having bad luck with these things, aren't you?" Thorin sighed as he eyed the wings, which were still rather pristine and crisp looking*.

"The Took's better have a book with flying instructions." Bilbo moaned as he finished hacking out a lungful of water.

The rest of the bath was uneventful. The only thing that did happen was Bilbo braving the deep water in the bathtub, (it was deep to him!), to curl up on Thorin's hairy chest, over his heart, after the dwarf was done cleaning himself. He needed some type of comfort, and Thorin was the best comfort that he could receive.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo and Thorin departed mid-morning the next day after Thorin tacked a note to the door. It had taken Bilbo a long while to write out, but it was to let his Baggins relatives know he was going to see his mother's family for a couple of weeks. Neither of them knew exactly how long it would take to reach Tuckborough, but Bilbo guessed it would take a couple of days. They wanted to visit the Took's and be back by April 26th, when Gandalf would knock on Bilbo's door in search of a burglar.

"How are we going to do this?" Bilbo asked.

"What do you mean?" Thorin questioned from where he was finishing loading his saddle bags on to his pony, who had been named after Bilbo's father, Bungo, last lifetime.

"I would rather not have my kin pointing and gawking at me for two or three days on our way to my mother's family." Bilbo explained. "So… where am I going to ride?"

"Top of a saddlebag?" Thorin offered.

"Smells like smelly dwarf feet, no thanks."

"Bungo's mane?"

"I don't have that good of a grip, and my wings cause trouble."

"… One of my shirt pockets?"

"Dwarf body odor, no."

"Then I won't offer a coat pocket."

"Same as shirt pocket, rejected."

"I guess you could hide under my hair, on my shoulder."

Bilbo paused. Touching a dwarf's hair was considered a big no-no, unless you were close family or friends. It was a huge sign of trust, one that Bilbo thought wouldn't be allowed to him after his yanking Thorin's braids last night.

"If that's alright with you." Bilbo whispered softly, blushing and looking at his feet.

"I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't." Thorin replied just as soft, and offered his hand for the hobbit-fairy to climb on.

Bilbo climbed up, and the dwarf brought his hand up to his left shoulder again. This time, Bilbo climbed off, scrambled up the warg-fur lined coat, and perched himself on Thorin's shoulder. He could easily pull Thorin's hair over him to hide himself, and he wouldn't suffocate on the stench of smelly dwarf feet or body odor.

"AIY!" Bilbo yelped as Thorin mounted, one hand clutching the collar of his coat and the other the dwarf's raven black hair.

"Off we go then." Thorin commented cheerfully as he spurred Bungo down the dirt lane.

"Only you would be cheerful about riding a pony for days on end." Bilbo grumbled.

"At least you won't have saddle sores this time around." Thorin pointed out.

"Eh, true." Bilbo had to concede.

-0-0-0-0-0-

The Tuckborough Family Smials were _huge_! Many of the Took family tended to live close together, and so it seemed like the rolling hillsides were one enormous hobbit home. In fact, as Bilbo explained, they actually were due to the tunnel systems under the homes that had been dug after the Fell Winter so they could have easy access to the rest of their family's homes in case of an emergency.

"Do you believe we will meet with the Thain?" Thorin asked as he eyed the smials.

"Most likely." Bilbo replied. "The Thain is also the head of the Took family, typically."

"So you're related somehow?" Thorin questioned, getting an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Fortinbras II, my cousin and the firstborn son of my mother's third brother." Bilbo nodded. "Grandfather Gerontius was the Thain prior to him, along with our Uncle Isengrim III, first-born, and his father, my uncle, Isumbras IV, third-born. My Aunt Hildigard, second-born, died very young. My mother was the ninth-born and grandfather's second daughter."

"Then you're a prince." Thorin groaned.

This day just kept getting better and better. He had taken on of the Shire's princes off to face a dragon and hadn't informed their royal family. In fact, why hadn't Gandalf told him? He was bound to have known. Bilbo's mouth opened, no doubt to protest that he was not royalty, and then paused.

The Thain was seen as the leader of the Shire, and it was a hereditary position that typically went to the firstborn son. There were some exceptions, such as if the firstborn had died, had no children, or even had no desire to be the Thain, then it could pass on to the second or even third born son. A female could hold the position of the Thain, (such had been the case with the Old Took's mother after his father had died, since he had been a tad young and wild).

Many had believed once believed that Belladonna Took would have passed her older brothers, and succeeded her father as the Thain. That is, many believed it would be so if her desire to wander, and then later court and marry Bungo Baggins, had not dominated much of her life. But she venomously denied every wanting to be the Thain to the one idiot who had brought it up at her wedding.

"I suppose that the other races it would see it that way." Bilbo admitted. "But I'm not about to become the Thain anytime soon. We would have to get through five of my mother's older brothers, (Uncle Isengrim passed away last year and had no children), and all their broods before I would even be considered."

"You're still apart of the hobbit royal family." Thorin moaned. "What was Gandalf thinking, dragging another member of royalty along, and without alerting your family?"

"Who knows what that wizard thinks." Bilbo sighed, tugging the dwarf's braid to get his attention. "But you must remember, Thorin, there are three leaders in the Shire."

"Three?" Thorin repeated.

"The Thain is in charge of the West Farthing and our Bounders, that's our military. The Thain is the one most will go to for guidance and council, and holds the most power in terms of political authority." Bilbo recited. "And if I recall correctly, during our wandering days of the Second Age, the hobbits appointed a Thain instead of a King. The other two positions came later, after we settled in the Shire.

"There is the Master of Buckland, he usually keeps an eye on the East Farthing and old forest. He sends word to the Thain to call our bounders into action if wolves or some other ilk gets past the Dúnedain Rangers and into the Shire. And then there is the Mayor**, which is our only elected position. He really doesn't do much, mostly dissolves petty quarrels about a pig eating a neighbors flowers and the flower's owner demanding compensation."

"Sounds like my life split into three different people." Thorin commented dryly as he reigned in Bungo while some little children ran across the path, Bilbo ducking under his hair again. "Must be easier."

"I suppose it is." Bilbo replied. "Take a right here. We're almost there."

"Don't think I'm forgetting that you're royalty." Thorin huffed as he guided Bungo down a well trampled path.

"Stuff it." Bilbo shot back.

-0-0-0-0-0-

*If any of you have seen anything from the Disney Fairy universe, Bilbo's wings are _not_ like theirs. He can still fly when his are wet, though not as good as when they're dry, (like a bird). They also do not risk breakage in extreme hot or extreme cold. However, if someone handles them wrong, or sharply pulls at them, they can break, and they do not re-grow.

**Why yes, I did divide the Mayor's duties between the Thain and the Master of Buckland. In my eyes, those two positions have been around longer, and therefore are positions of more power. They Mayor has been simmered down to what I wrote in the chapter.

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Timeline_

April 14th, year 2931: Bilbo yells at Thorin and the two take a bath after calming down.

April 15th, year 2931: Depart for Tuckborough.

April 17th, year 2931: Arrive in Tuckborough.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Once the door of the most important smial came into view, (one that Thorin recognized because his father had brought him there during their first trek to the Blue Mountains and had bought food from the hobbit's living there), Bilbo hid in the dwarf's hair. The hobbit-fairy didn't want any of his kin to see him until they were safely inside, away from curious eyes.

"I don't know who is going to answer the door." Bilbo whispered as Thorin dismounted and tethered his mount to a post. "Just tell them that you bring urgent news of one of their kin in Hobbiton. If they try to pester you for info, say it's not for listening ears. They'll take you to a private sitting room."

"If we were in Ered Luin, Dwalin would have run them off if someone came with that sort of news for me." Thorin commented softly as he knocked on the door.

"Yes, yes, yes." Bilbo rolled his eyes. "Now hush up."

The door swung open to reveal young Ferumbras, Fortinbras' 15 year old son, and only child. If Bilbo recalled correctly, Ferumbras had sworn an oath to never marry if he hadn't found the right person for him before he became the Thain. He never married and dedicated his life to being the Thain once he took up the position.

"You're a dwarf." Ferumbras said with wide eyes.

"What keen eyes you have." Thorin replied with a soft smirk. "I seek the Thain, is he available?"

"Maybe." Ferumbras responded as his eyes narrowed a touch. "Why?"

"I bring urgent new of one of his kin in Hobbiton." Thorin recited what Bilbo had told him.

The reaction was what Bilbo had expected. Ferumbras stepped back to let Thorin inside. The dwarf wiped his boots before taking them off of his feet. Bilbo nearly burst out giggling as Ferumbras got his first look at what a dwarf's foot looks like, but managed to keep it to himself. Once Thorin stood back up and took off his cloak, the young tween remembered his duties as one of the hosts.

"I can take that." Ferumbras said and hung Thorin's cloak on a peg. "The Thain is down this way."

Thorin followed the young hobbit closely, but not so close that he was crowding. Several other hobbits that lived in the smial watched as Ferumbras and Thorin walked by, a couple really young ones following for a brief time before being called back by the older ones. Eventually, Ferumbras stopped in front of one of the doors in a long hallway, and knocked.

"Enter." Fortinbras called.

Ferumbras timidly opened the door. Normally, this was his father's study time, where he devoted all of his efforts to being the best Thain that he possibly could, and Fortinbras didn't like being interrupted unless it was important. The young hobbit hoped that the dwarf was important enough.

"What is it son?" Fortinbras said, seeing his only child in the doorway.

"There's a dwarf here to see you father." Ferumbras. "He says that he brings urgent news about one of our kin in Hobbiton."

Fortinbras stiffened. It had been long since he had heard anything from his late younger sister's son. Bilbo had become a bit of a recluse after the Fell Winter claimed his father's life with illness when he was 21 and a half, and then his mother eight years later when he was still not yet of age, only 29 years old. He had to fight his father's kin in order to remain in Bag End, and afterwards he barely came out for birthdays, and never made the two day trek to Tuckborough for a tea visit.

"Show him in." Fortinbras ordered.

Ferumbras stepped aside, and allowed Thorin into the room, and shut the door once the dwarf was properly inside. Both leaders of their own people sized the other up. Fortinbras knew that Thorin had lived a rough life based on the state of his clothes, and most likely gave up his own portion of food so his kin wouldn't starve… What? No one should look _that_ thin, even a dwarf. Thorin saw the ink stained hands that Bilbo and Ori had, but they also were rough with calluses. No doubt from farm work or training with some type of weapon so he could protect his family and loved ones.

"What news do you bring?" Fortinbras finally asked.

"Ah…" Thorin paused. "I'm not exactly sure how to put this."

"Is he dead?" Fortinbras asked bluntly.

Thorin couldn't help it. He snorted and bit his lip as he tried to keep himself from howling in laughter. Bilbo's cousin had some of the same blunt manners that Bilbo used closer towards the end of their quest last lifetime. So being blunt wasn't from his father's side of the family getting their patience worn down, it naturally came from his mother's side of the family.

"I'm not dead." Bilbo said loudly, making Thorin wince at the sound in his left ear.

"Bilbo?" Fortinbras looked around. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here." Bilbo replied as he crawled out from under Thorin's hair and perched on his shoulder. "Hi cousin."

"Oh my…" Fortinbras looked at his hobbit-fairy cousin with wide eyes. "Nope."

Both dwarf and hobbit-fairy watched as Fortinbras fell into a faint. The two just stared after Bilbo's cousin hit the floor, neither one of them knowing exactly what to say so… Thorin attempted to break the growing silence.

"So it comes from your _mother's_ side of the family." Thorin mused. "Apologizes, I thought it was from your father's side."

"Shut up Thorin." Bilbo huffed back.

"What is going on in there?"

"Oh shit." Bilbo turned pale.

"What?" Thorin asked.

The door opened to reveal a female hobbit with curly dark blond hair and blue eyes that her son had inherited. She had the chubbiness that was common with nearly all hobbits, and the sharp look in her eyes that all females, no matter what their race was, had when the males in their lives did something any degree of stupid.

"Cousin Lalia." Bilbo greeted weakly.

"Oh my…" Lalia Took née Clayhanger replied.

For a split second, Thorin thought the female hobbit was going to pass out like the male currently on the floor. But she steeled herself with the determination that he often saw in his sister, which had mostly been directed at him when he was being his usual stubborn self… 24/7… 365.

"Talk." Lalia said simply as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"I woke up like this three days ago after a dream where Lady Yavanna appeared to me with a request to keep Thorin, this dwarf, and his immediate kin alive this next year." Bilbo replied. "Since it's been rumored that the Took's had mated with Fae back in our beginnings, I was hoping we had some sort of records or any information."

"You're in luck." Lalia grinned and left the room.

Bilbo and Thorin looked at each other, both shrugging their shoulders as to what Bilbo's cousin-in-law was doing. Lalia came back with several books and a huge grin on her face. Bilbo could tell the books were very old, and they had some sort of magic on them. It wasn't elven, or the work of a wizard. Men weren't sorcerers, and hobbits weren't magical creatures… at least, he didn't think they had any sort of magic.

"These books tell of our history, how we got our start." Lalia said with her grin. "Hobbits initially came from flowers in the gardens of the Entwives and helped them tend the plants. Despite the tree herders' best efforts to get them to grow bigger then 4-8 inches tall, we remained on small side. A wish from many of the hobbits caught the attention of Lady Yavanna, who saw the little hobbits as her grandchildren. She offered the hobbits a second form, one were they would stand about 2-4 feet tall. But they would give up their wings and magic of rapid plant growth if they were in this form."

Bilbo was floored as he watched Lalia open one of the books and showed pictures of hobbit-fairies and 'regular' hobbits next to an Entwife. He hopped into Thorin's hand, and the dwarf lowered him to the table so he could take a closer look. It was no wonder Yavanna chose this body for him, it was his natural form!

"So hobbits could grow plants very quickly when they were in their natural fairy form." Thorin hummed in thought. "Could they do anything else?"

"All hobbit-fairies were very strong, lifting items up to 10 times their size and 100 time their weight." Lalia read from the book, still ignoring her passed out spouse.

"Does that mean I can pick up Thorin?" Bilbo asked.

"Let's test that later." Thorin replied quickly and dove into another book.

Bilbo and Thorin learned that the fairy side of hobbits used their magic to take large portions of things, (mainly food), to make their sized portions for their own use. It was nice to know that Bilbo could make his own needle and thread and food sizes for when on the road. Hobbit-fairies also had their own individual special talent, which could range from extremely quick plant growth to healing to speaking the tongues of animals to finding the best mushrooms or truffles within a 10 mile radius in less than 5 seconds to being the greatest prankster of whatever side of the mountains you were on, and also on the other side of the mountains as well.

"I wonder what my talent will be." Bilbo wondered.

"Knowing you, nicking things from under other people's noses and getting away with it." Fortinbras said as the 53 year old hobbit used the table to pull himself to his feet before plopping down in his chair, startling everyone since they thought he was still out of it. "I haven't forgotten that incident with the wizard's fireworks when you were 12 years old."

"Incident with the wizard's fireworks?" Thorin repeated, obviously interested.

"Later." Bilbo scolded and turned his attention back to the books. "Is there any information on how to change back, or how to fly?"

"You mean it's not instinctual?" Lalia asked.

"If instinctual means pulling him away from safe places and dropping him into unsafe areas, like a filled bathtub…" Thorin didn't need to finish his sentence.

"Here's something on flying that will be useful." Fortinbras stopped flipping through his book. "You lean forward to go forward, left to turn left, right to turn right, and back to back up. The strength of your wings flapping determines your speed, whether you'll hover, go straight up to the sky, or down to the ground."

"Eh… better than nothing." Bilbo shrugged his shoulders.

The four of them scoured the books for any and all information, but nothing was said on how to change to and from the hobbit-fairy form and the 'normal' hobbit form. Except that it takes practice, but Bilbo would be able to do it in less time than in takes to blink when mastered. Still, not a lot to go off of, but it was better than nothing.

"Ah." Thorin made a pained noise.

"What?" Bilbo asked, Fortinbras and Lalia looking just as curious.

"I found why your race stopped changing into your natural form and remained as you are commonly seen now." Thorin replied, his face filled with sadness and grief. "The gardens of the Entwives were burned by men of the far south and far east by order of Sauron during the Second Age. They captured many of your ancient kin and cut off their wings, believing them to be good luck. This left them eternally grounded since the wings do not grow back.

"The survivors decided that the few hobbit-fairies left would into hiding go in the west in their second form to preserve the rest of the race. The hobbits settled between the western side of the Greenwood and the eastern side of the Misty Mountains, and resided there for a time. They had peaceful dealings with the King of Arnor and Gondor before the Last Alliance against Sauron, but left that area during the Third Age for reasons not stated in this book."

Bilbo squeaked and swallowed heavily. His earliest kin had nearly been hunted to extinction by the selfish greed on men! And everyone said that the dwarrows were bad. Still, Bilbo felt his wings grow stiff in fright at the knowledge before moving down to cover his lower back and upper legs, like the tails of a fancy coat.

"Is there more?" Lalia asked in a breathless rush.

"Many hobbits participated in the Last Alliance, using their talents to help where and when they could." Thorin nodded once and picked up where he had left off. "A good number fell ill due to the toxic air of Mordor, but it did not stop them. One little female hobbit-fairy named Iris was greatly fond of Elendil and his heir Isildur. When Elendil was killed by the Dark Lord, Iris grabbed the top of Sauron's helmet and yanked as hard as she could. The distraction allowed Isildur the time to swing his father's broken blade to sever the One Ring from its master, but the shockwave from Sauron's destruction killed her."

The hobbits had participated in the Last Alliance with all the other free races against Sauron? (How come Lord Elrond had never mentioned the Hobbit's original form to him? He had been there!) A scared whine escaped Bilbo before he could stop it, and Thorin offered his hand. Bilbo jumped on and hid himself in the dwarf's hair. Even though he couldn't see them, he could sense the surprise from Fortinbras and Lalia. 'Just how close were these two?', they were probably wondering. Bilbo honestly didn't care if they disapproved of his relationship with Thorin, but it would be nice to have a blessing from his mother's side of the family.

Once he calmed down, Bilbo climbed out and decided to test flying down to the table. Thinking hard as he sat on Thorin's shoulder while the dwarf looked at the different types of talents Bilbo could possibly have, Bilbo focused on making his wings move. He figured it would be like learning how to walk when he was a fauntling. You had to figure out how to move your body, what muscles moved what leg, hand, or wing, and then practice using those muscles until it became second nature to do so.

Thorin frowned when he felt a breeze moving by his left ear, and then it faded. Before coming back, and disappearing again. Then wind fluttered past, and ceased movement for the third time. Confused at what was going on, he turned his head to see Bilbo's wings fluttering, the small hobbit-fairy's face filled with a look of concentration, the don't-you-dare-interrupt-me type.

Bilbo's wings quivered again, much faster than the first few times, and Thorin felt the hobbit-fairy's small body lift from his shoulder. Bilbo didn't fly off, he settled himself back onto Thorin's shoulder. He tested the strength of his wing movements a few more times to see just how much power he would need to lift himself off the ground. Taking a final deep breath, Bilbo flapped his wings and pushed himself off of the dwarf.

Thorin, Fortinbras, and Lalia watched as Bilbo made it down to the table, although it was a bit faster than he had wanted. He shot up and down a couple of times as he tested how much strength made him go up, down, or just about hover, before he stopped flapping an inch above the table. The drop wasn't unpleasant, but not what Bilbo had wanted to do.

"Guess I just need to practice." Bilbo sighed.

"After dinner." Lalia scolded, making them all look at the clock.

They had missed Luncheon and Afternoon Tea! Bilbo's stomach gave an exceedingly loud grumble of protest at not being fed for such a long period of time. Bilbo blushed and quickly jumped onto Thorin's shirt and scrambled up to the dwarf's shoulder to hide in his hair again. He hadn't played a good prank of his mother's family is some time now.

The rest of the family was already at the dinner table, those that lived there, (Uncle Isumbras), and those that were visiting, (Aunt Donnamira Boffin née Took, Aunt Mirabella Brandybuck née Took, and their families). Several of the fauntlings had red hands from trying to take food before the head of the house was sitting and had gotten burned or slapped.

"Who is that?" Mirabella asked after she caught sight of Thorin, never having been one for subtlety.

"This is Thorin." Fortinbras introduced. "He will be joining us for the evening."

Needless to say, dinner had just gotten a whole lot more interesting for the Took family. It wasn't every day that a dwarf of all people joined you to eat any meal, much less stay a whole evening. Most of the time they were in and out, just making sure that their merchants still had permission to trade within the Shire. For one to stay for so long… it was bound to be a rather interesting affair, extremely gossip worthy within certain circles.

"And Bilbo's here too." Fortinbras added in an afterthought.

"Cousin Bilbo?"

"My nephew?"

"Where is he?"

"Did he bring any cookies?"

Thorin's shoulders shook as a little fauntling asked the last question. It was the sort of question that Dwalin would ask. The action, of course, had been noted by Bilbo's Aunt Donnamira, who immediately felt some sort of suspicion arise in her. The dwarves she had seen and traded with were a very closed off people, except for that toy carver and his family. To see one so… relaxed, was odd.

"No cookies." Lalia replied to 11 year old Primula's inquiry.

"Aw." Primula pouted.

Bilbo couldn't stay put any longer. She just looked so cute when she pouted! Anyway, he had never blamed cousin Primula Baggins née Brandybuck or cousin Drogo for what his father's side of the family did when Frodo had been born. Both hobbits had been unwilling participants, but they allowed Bilbo to drop by and visit whenever he wanted, and renamed him to be Frodo's godfather. And besides, he was hungry!

Bilbo pushed Thorin's hair aside and sat in plain view on the dwarf's shoulder. It didn't take to long for Ferumbras, who had been sneaking looks at Thorin as often as he could, to spot his cousin in his new form. The wide eyes and jaw dropped expression made Bilbo giggle, and that caught nearly everyone else's attention as well.

"What happened to my nephew?!" Mirabella cried out, getting everyone's attention.

"Hi Auntie." Bilbo muttered, suddenly feeling shy and nervous.

"What happened?" Donnamira repeated over the sudden clamor of noise from all the hobbits.

"Lady Yavanna gave me a job, and this is the form she chose for me." Bilbo replied simply. "If anyone here recalls our true history, why are you so surprised?"

That made many of the Took's fall silent. Of course, their true history. How had they forgotten? Then again, most had dismissed it as a 'fairy tale' and not the actual truth, preferring to claim they were a decedent of men or elves. But still, it was a big shock. The men that Donnamira and Mirabella had married were still grumbling about how unnatural it all was, but were quickly silenced by threats of sleeping on the floor.

"I'm hungry." Bilbo announced, and managed to flutter down to the table without hurting himself or upsetting any cups or platters of food.

"Do it again!" Primula cheered from across the table.

"But I'm hungry!" Bilbo exclaimed.

"But-!" Primula began to protest.

"His stomach is a lot smaller than it used to be young one." Thorin interrupted gently, having often done so when Fíli and Kíli were young. "He gets hungry a lot quicker now."

"Oh." Primula understood and accepted that. "Dig in!"

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Timeline_

April 17th, year 2931: Bilbo and Thorin meet with the Thain, Bilbo's cousin Fortinbras, and they research the hobbit's original form before dinning with the rest of the family.

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In terms on Bilbo's flying, he does not need any sort of 'Pixie Dust' to enable him to fly. Just like with birds and bats, once he gets the hang of it he is good to go. But he does need to eat more when he flies because he uses more energy. He also doesn't have a natural glow, or leave a trail of sparkles when he flies.

Like an animal's ears, Bilbo wings can give a clue as to what his emotions are. But it happens only when he's not flying.

Natural form (45 degree angle and could be partly opened most of the way opened, think of it like butterfly wings): He's relaxed, this is considered to be his normal wing position.

Pinned down flat against his back: He's scared.

Pointing upward but not stiff: Something has caught his interest, like food.

Pointing any direction and very stiff: He's listening intently or something has alarmed him.

Natural form and twitching slightly: Something has excited him, or if his wings are stiffening, he's getting nervous.

Wrapped around him like a blanket: He is sad, but mostly is need of comfort.

Opened all the way so they are touching his shoulders and curled like hooks over his shoulders: An intimidation attempt to scare off predators, like a fox.

Opened most of the way and halfway down his back, like airplane wings: He's unimpressed with whatever it was you just said/did. It was most likely stupid anyway, _Thorin_.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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The remainder of dinner was fairly uneventful, if you disregarded Bilbo's Uncle Isembold attempts to stuff Fortinbras's ears full of peas, and the large orange getting lobbed down the table and knocking poor Bilbo off of the table. Thankfully, Thorin's reflexes kept him from falling all the way to the floor.

It was quite amusing to see Bilbo and the orange. With the orange in his lap, it came all the way up to his chin, with his tiny little arms wrapped around as much as he could hold. It reminded Thorin of the first time little Fíli tried to move a keg of water by himself. The lad ended up plopping down on his bottom with the keg nestled between his legs and tucked under his chin.

"I want my orange back!" Hugo Boffin, Aunt Donnamira's husband, demanded.

"Nuh-uh!" Bilbo shook his head and gripped the orange tighter. "Mine now."

Thorin bit his lip to keep himself from laughing at how adorable Bilbo looked, and at the thunderous expression on the 'normal' male hobbit's face at Bilbo's words. If only Hugo would just recalled the unspoken rule about hobbits and the food they got their hands on, the one Bilbo had introduced his company to after Nori tried to nick his dinner rations the first night on the road.

"If my hand touches it… It. Is. Mine." Bilbo growled.

"You little!" Hugo stood to either snatch the orange away or strike Bilbo, possibly both.

Bilbo was back on his furry little feet faster than anyone could see. He spun around in a circle twice and absolutely chucked the orange back at his uncle-in-law. It conked Hugo right in his nose, by his left eye. The hobbit went down with a really loud squawk of pain, very similar to what Dwalin would make when Dís got him in some… _certain_ areas. The orange bounced onto the table and rolled back to Bilbo, who wrapped his arms around the fruit before rolling it onto Thorin's plate.

"Anyone else?" Bilbo turned as he asked, hands on his hips as he surveyed his mother's kin.

"Do it again!" Primula cheered.

"Primula!" Mirabella scolded her daughter, but it was ruined by the grin on her face.

The rest of the table was roaring in laughter. Bilbo usually avoided conflicts, so it was nice to see him stand up for himself. Even if he was only six and a half inches tall. Hugo, on the other hand, was not as amused as the rest of his in-laws.

"Donna, help me!" Hugo whined.

"You knew what you were getting into when you married me, you great big oaf." Donnamira replied, a touch sour since he had tried to harm her nephew. "Help yourself."

-0-0-0-0-0-

The next week and a half went by rather quickly. One of the things about being a fairy that Bilbo quickly managed to master was flying and dodging little hands grabbing at him. It did take him several days to get the hang of it, but it was now second nature. His wings also, and thankfully, stopped pulling him in random directions before ceasing movement with painful falls. Still, he preferred to remain perched on Thorin's shoulder, where it was generally safe until the fauntling barrage pulled the dwarf down onto the ground…

Thorin just couldn't resist children, and proclaimed that Dwalin was even worse than him. Gruff warrior of old with tattoos, axes, war hammers, and cussed worse than a sailor of the race of men? Bilbo believed it. The giant dwarf loved cookies and had been such a softie after Bilbo had gotten to know him better.

Still, the little ones loved it when Bilbo would grab a blanket, lay it flat out on the floor for them to climb on, him grabbing the all the corners above them, and then carry them around for a time. When it got to the point where Bilbo was too tired to continue, he would hide in Thorin's hair or one of the high chandeliers, out of reach of grabby hands.

Thorin and Bilbo didn't know how they would explain Bilbo being a fairy to Gandalf, so they would probably end up winging it… pun not intended. Still, they mounted up and bade the Took's farewell after luncheon on April 24th. Bilbo stated he was hoping that they would miss Gandalf and wanted to see if the wizard would still mark up his newly-painted-by-the-painter's door.

-0-0-0-0-0-

The burglar's mark was on his door, making Bilbo sigh in irritation. He had paid the painters with the peach preserves of his mother's secret recipe for that door to be painted! Thorin sighed as well while shaking his head at how manipulative and untruthful Gandalf was being. Still, the dwarf entered the hobbit's home while taking the 'Gone Visiting Mother's family' sign off the bell.

"Now we have two days to prepare food for the rest of the company." Bilbo sighed.

"That's going to be a problem." Thorin bit his lip. "I can cook the most basic foods, but when you start to add seasonings… there's going to be problems that consist of the food resembling lumps of coal."

"Oh dear." Bilbo bit his own lip.

It wasn't like the hobbit-fairy could just march down to the Green Dragon Inn and order the food. Or go to the market so he could make everything himself here at home. He was still learning how to fly and carry really heavy objects like cookware filled with food. Little hobbits in blankets in a large open room were one thing, cooking objects with food in them in a small room filled with tight corners was another matter. It was then that someone started knocking at the door.

"Cousin Bilbo!" Otho Sackville-Baggins called between knocks. "Are you there?"

"Bilbo?" Lobelia Bracegirdle's voice joined her fiancé. "May we come in?"

Bilbo gasped as he remembered. After Gandalf came to his smial in search of a burglar, and after his trip to the market, Otho and Lobelia had come to talk to him, and he had politely refused them at the door before they could state why they wanted to see him. He found out 20 years later that it was because they had wanted to tell him that they didn't want to claim Bag End. Otho was going to build Lobelia a smial on the other end of Hobbiton, like Bilbo's father, Bungo, had done for his fiancée-and-soon-to-be-wife, Belladonna Took.

Bilbo had regretted his action ever since, and now he had the chance to make things right. Hopefully they wouldn't freak out about his small size and new wings too much.

"Should I send them away?" Thorin asked, misinterpreting the gasp as one of fear.

"No." Bilbo shook his head. "I'll bring them in. Can you wait in the sitting room?"

"Very well." Thorin exhaled harshly, obviously not liking the idea of leaving the hobbit-fairy alone, but would go along with Bilbo's plan.

Whatever it was.

"Cousin?" Otho's voice came again.

"Coming!" Bilbo called.

After making sure that Thorin was in the sitting room, Bilbo flew to his front door, undid the lock, flew to the doorknob, and pulled the door open. Bilbo knew that from the prospective of his cousin and his fiancée, this probably looked really weird. A door opening by itself? It would be enough to make them check twice for any sort of prank that Bilbo had been known for when he was younger. Including the time when he was 18 and had rigged the front door with a bucket of cold water. Uncle Longo and Aunt Camilla had gotten soaked, and 8 year old Otho had found in hilarious.

"Bilbo?" Otho asked as he cautiously stepped inside.

"Close the door." Bilbo instructed from his perch on the doorknob.

Otho did so, still looking down the hallway for his cousin. Lobelia's gasp made him turn around. Otho's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his shrunken cousin, and the golden transparent wings on his back. Otho didn't know what to say, despite Bilbo's sheepish look.

"You are so cute!" Lobelia squealed as she knelt down next to him.

"Cute?" Bilbo repeated flatly, his wings going down, mimicking the position of his arms being held straight out to the side, an unimpressed look on his face.

"Sorry." Lobelia giggled.

Bilbo relaxed, happy to see a part of the little girl he used to babysit when he was younger. Lobelia had become very spiteful after her marriage to Otho, and it was nice to see the cheerful person she used to be. Bilbo blamed her mother-in-law, Camilla Sackville-Baggins, for the meanness.

"What happened to you?" Otho asked as he joined his fiancée.

"The Green Lady has given me a job to do." Bilbo replied, trying hard not to chuckle at the shocked looks on their faces. "Come with me to the sitting room?"

"Sure." Otho mumbled, still in a bit of shock, grunting when Lobelia elbowed him in his ribs.

"What my daft lout of a fiancé means, we'd be honored." Lobelia smiled pleasantly with no hints of deceit or maliciousness.

"Follow me then." Bilbo smiled back.

The six and a half inches tall hobbit-fairy jumped off the door knob and flew slowly down the hall. If he was flying at top speed, he could easily keep up with the geese that flew south right before the cold seasons, but couldn't maintain that speed for more than 15 minutes without eating. Otho and Lobelia followed, but stopped in the doorway when they saw Thorin standing next to one of the armchairs by the fireplace.

"Who are you?" Lobelia demanded bluntly.

Thorin blinked once before looking to Bilbo, who had perched himself on the top of the armchair that Thorin stood next to. There was a look of amusement mixed with slightly terrified on his face. According to Fíli and Kíli, Thorin apparently often wore it around his sister, Dís, when they were 'arguing' with each other but weren't that serious. Something that didn't happen very often.

"Is she related to your Aunt Mirabella?" Thorin asked.

"Most likely." Bilbo shrugged. "Closest through marriage, distantly by blood."

"Hello!" Lobelia called.

"Lobelia and Otho, may I introduce Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór, King of the Dwarves of the Line of Durin?" Bilbo presented the dwarf in the room.

There were two separate reactions. Both hobbits had dropped jaws. One's face morphed into a grin while the other's face went completely lax as the one hobbit fainted with a small, "Nope."

"Both sides of the family then." Thorin hummed as he observed Lobelia poking Otho in the face, trying to get him to wake up.

"Stuff it." Bilbo huffed.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"I'm okay." Otho said for the seventh time, feeling exasperated while Lobelia fussed over her 'poor and sensitive little Otho-Wotho'.

Otho hated being reminded of his mother's nickname for him, and it showed on the scowl on his face. Bilbo had buried his face into one of the blankets on the armchair to keep himself from laughing. Thorin was biting his lip to do the same, but their shoulders were shaking, so it was pretty much pointless to be trying to hold their laughter back.

"Are you sure cousin?" Bilbo asked with a somewhat straight face.

"Yes." Otho replied as he pushed Lobelia's hand away, again, failing to notice the snickering smirk of triumph on her face.

"Good." Bilbo nodded his head. "Because I have a favor to ask."

"Oh?" Lobelia raised an eyebrow.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"I'm tired." Thorin sighed as he wiped his brow dry with one of Bilbo's handkerchiefs.

"Yes, my cousin is such a slave driver." Otho agreed as he and Thorin kneaded pastry dough for desserts in the kitchen.

"I heard that!" Bilbo yelled from the dining room.

Thorin sighed, not bothering to give a response. Bilbo wanted to provide his company with as much of a feast that he could provide instead of the dwarves pillaging his pantry and having raw foods. Otho and Lobelia had been a huge help with the cooking and backing, while Thorin did a lot of the prepping. As for Bilbo, the little hobbit-fairy actually managed to rearrange the furniture in his dining room to fit the company and Gandalf.

"Pastry bread is done." Otho called.

"Good." Lobelia came bustling over.

In her hands were a couple of different bowls of fruit fillings and pushed Otho out of the way. Thorin had stepped back when he saw her coming, used to his sister doing the same in the kitchen back in Ered Luin. Let it not be said that Thorin didn't fear the female who proved her worth, usually by her standing up to him, or him witnessing her standing up to someone else.

Thorin heard Bilbo giggling. Turning his head, he saw the hobbit-fairy perched on the table, his wings drooping slightly to indicate he was more tired than he was letting on. With a small smile, Thorin walked over to the hobbit and scooped him up into his hands. Bilbo whined, but settled when Thorin tucked him into his upper left shirt pocket, which also had a hankie in it. Bilbo sighed and curled up to sleep for a little while.

"Where's Bilbo?" Lobelia asked, having missed the exchange.

"Sleeping." Thorin replied softly, pointing to the lump in his pocket. "He's tired."

- _KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-_

"Who on earth?" Thorin muttered, seeing that it was still daylight out, plus the company wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow.

The dwarf headed towards the door, followed by Lobelia. Gripping the door handle, Thorin opened the door. To his great surprise, it definitely wasn't who he had been expecting, one of his company or Gandalf. Instead, it was…

"Dáin?" Thorin asked in complete shock.

"Who?" Lobelia asked.

"Hi cousin!" Dáin bellowed back before bashing Thorin's forehead with his own before he could move out of the way.

"Is that how all dwarves greet each other?" Lobelia asked as she back pedaled away from the dwarf.

"Just family." Thorin replied shortly, worried that the commotion had woken Bilbo.

"What's going on?" Bilbo whined as he poked his head and wings out of Thorin's chest pocket.

"Nephew!"

A curly and golden haired fairy sped out from one of Dáin's many inner coat pockets and perched himself on Thorin's chest next to the pocket Bilbo was in. His eyes sparkled with mischief and excitement. He had deep emerald green transparent wings and the same facial features as many of Bilbo's uncles and aunts.

"Who are you?" Bilbo asked in confusion.

"I'm your Uncle, Hildifons." Hildifons replied. "I went adventuring 66 years ago and meet this fellow, Dáin, when I was 21. We've been looking out for each other ever since."

"I wouldn't say that exactly." Dáin muttered, blushing a touch.

"He's been pulling your hairy arse out of dangerous situations, hasn't he?" Thorin smirked.

"Shut up Thorin." Dáin growled back with no real bite.

"We even had a kid together a year later." Hildifons continued, obviously having thrown what little subtlety he learned as a hobbit away years ago. "Thorin III, epithet Stonehelm."

"You had a dwobbit?" Bilbo asked, his wings perking straight up in interest.

"What happened to Jovina?" Thorin asked, referring to Dáin's wife of around 100 years.

"It was an arranged marriage." Dáin shrugged as he stepped inside and shut the door. "She was married to her craft and was fine with us never sharing a bed. Her only desires were/are to fashion in the forges to her hearts content, and being a foster mother/godmother to our wee Stonehelm."

"What?" Lobelia asked, having gotten lost.

"I'll write it down later." Hildifons promised.

"What are you doing here?" Thorin asked.

"You gather all the dwarf lords together and then run out right after the preliminaries are done." Dáin replied bluntly. "You'd think I'd not be worried about someone as passionate as you are when it gets to the topic of Erebor?"

Thorin felt like an idiot. Dáin would have known that something was up and had probably set out after him. He most likely headed toward Ered Luin before realizing his cousin wasn't going that way and then somehow tracked him to the Shire, to Bilbo's home.

"How did you find me?" Thorin asked.

"I asked." Dáin grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

"I had to train him to do that." Hildifons grinned as well as he gently and swiftly pulled Bilbo out of Thorin's shirt pocket and down to the sitting room, most likely so he could teach Bilbo a few things about being a hobbit-fairy.

"This evening just got even more interesting." Otho commented from the kitchen doorway.

"Indeed." Thorin agreed with a sigh.

He was going to need a strong cup of ale. Or 10. It always happened when Dáin was visiting.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Pairings seen for the first time: Hildifons Took/Dáin Ironfoot

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Timeline_

April 17th, year 2931: Remainder of the Took Family dinner.

April 18th - 23rd, year 2931: Bilbo trains in using his wings and new strength.

April 24th, year 2931: Bilbo and Thorin depart the Took Family Smials.

April 26th, year 2931: Bilbo and Thorin arrive back at Bag End, narrowly missing Gandalf, Otho Sackville-Baggins and his fiancée, Lobelia Bracegirdle, arrive at Bag End and help prepare for the Company, and Dáin Ironfoot and Hildifons Took arrive, (evening).

-0-0-0-0-0-

Since I keep getting the two mixed up, I'm making a small note for future reference. Fiancé is an engaged male, and fiancée is an engaged female

And here's a little timeline for Dáin and Hildifons, in terms of births and marriages and all

Third Age 2767- Dáin Ironfoot born

Third Age 2799- Azanulbizar; Dáin is 32 years old, around age 9 or so by the standards of men

Third Age 2829- Dáin marries Jovina of the Stonefoot clan, an arranged marriage

Third Age 2844- Hildifons Took born

Third Age 2865- Hildifons Took goes on an adventure and meets Dáin Ironfoot, they fall in love and Hildifons gets pregnant a few months later. Hildifons never returns to the Shire, but goes and stays in the Iron Hills instead

Third Age 2866- Thorin III Stonehelm born

Third Age 2931- The Quest for Erebor


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

-0-0-0-0-0-

Thorin was not pouting.

 _He wasn't!_

Okay, maybe he was. But Bilbo had forbidden him from having any ale right before he fell asleep with his head in Hildifons' lap. At least, that's what it sounded like. Thorin wasn't able to make his return argument. Hildifons found the whole thing amusing as Dáin dragged his cousin off to 'talk'… for two hours. _Two hours_! Thorin hadn't heard a word Dáin said because he sulked due to lack of a stiff drink.

"Are you listening to me?" Dáin demanded, and heard the female hobbit snickering in the background.

"No." Thorin replied honestly, and there was more snickering, and not just from Lobelia.

"What are we going to do with you?" Dáin sighed.

"I'd listen better with a stiff drink, but it was forbidden." Thorin groaned.

"When has that ever stopped you?" Dáin asked as he downed his own ale.

Thorin didn't say a word, but he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. Dáin ogled at him for a few seconds, eyebrows hidden under his bushy mane of red-orange hair. And then he started laughing. He knew his cousin well enough to know that Dís was the only one who could hold his liquor from him. Based off of what he knew, Thorin hadn't know the hobbit-fairy called Bilbo for very long, but the tiny fellow could already keep Thorin from drinking, even when he was out cold.

"You are whipped!" Dáin chortled.

"Shut up." Thorin growled.

"Waz going on?" Bilbo asked as he sat back up with a yawn.

"Dáin is mocking my pain." Thorin huffed, making his red haired cousin laugh more.

"And you were really tired." Hildifons replied.

Bilbo's head snapped back to his uncle. He blinked a couple of times as he took in the sight of his uncle, who was roughly the same size that he was and had wings like him. But he was older and wiser, that was obvious as well, what with a couple of gray hair spattered here and there and a few small laugh lines/crow's feet. Bilbo hummed and shook himself, focusing a bit better and smiled.

"So I wasn't dreaming." Bilbo stood up and fluttered over to Thorin, snagging a bread roll off his plate.

Thorin just watched as Bilbo dragged the normal sized bread roll down the table. Dáin watched as well, his amusement very obvious on his face. Hildifons found his nephew's actions entertaining as well. Bilbo was oblivious all the looks around him as he sat down and began to devour the bread roll. At least he was for a few seconds before he noticed Thorin looking at him with a soft look on his face.

"What?" Bilbo asked.

"It's just really endearing how you manage to haul food as half as big as you are down the table." Thorin replied honestly.

"Dwarves." Bilbo rolled his eyes and began to eat the bread.

"Hey!" Dáin protested. "I resemble that remark!"

"Don't you mean that you _resent_ that remark?" Otho asked.

"I'm a dwarf." Dáin explained. "Therefore, I _resemble_ that remark."

Hildifons giggled at his beloved's actions. Dáin had done this very often, mostly to the Iron Hill's Councilmen, but it still didn't make it any less funny. Thorin, on the other hand, had heard this joke one too many times -in his opinion- and felt the need to bang his head against the table at his cousin's antics and jokes. Or drink something with alcohol in it.

"I thought you would've had a very stiff drink by now Thorin." Bilbo commented, and then felt confused as Dáin fell out of his chair due to laughing so hard. "What?"

"You forbade me from having any stiff drinks before you fell asleep." Thorin replied.

"That was meant for Dáin, not you." Bilbo frowned and went and snatched Dáin's cup away before he got back into his chair. "Here."

"Thank you." Thorin sighed before downing half of the contents and felt much better.

"Hey!" Dáin whined and moved to take his cup back.

"Don't. Even. Think. About it." Hildifons warned with a glare.

Dáin sat back down. Slowly.

Lobelia doubled over in laughter, Otho taking her latest food creation away before it hit the floor with her. Thorin chuckled softly as he gently sipped _his_ ale. He was starting to feel better by the second.

"So cousin." Dáin had dropped the pouting look and smiled.

Thorin froze. He knew that look. Dáin was about to say or do something that was going to disgruntle or embarrass him. And if he was guessing correctly, the topic would be about Bilbo and how the little hobbit-fairy could possibly have him whipped in such a manner that he avoided ale while the small one was sleeping. This was going to be a nightmare.

"How did you and Bilbo meet?" Dáin asked, still smiling.

"A while ago." Bilbo hummed. "We met because an old friend of my mother's set us up."

"You can say that again." Thorin grumbled with a sigh.

"Wait a minute, _you_ went on a _date_?" Dáin asked, wide eyed.

Thorin groaned and stopped resisting banging his head on the table. Yes, it hurt, but it was also pleasantly mind-numbing as well. What a nice strong table Bilbo had. It was probably made of oak.

"Who said anything about a date?" Bilbo grumbled as he viciously tore his bread apart. "I didn't even know we were meeting. So when we were introduced to each other, the oh-so-handsome royal sod opened his mouth. He was very, very, very, _very_ insulting."

"And you didn't tussle him up and leave him on your scarecrow post?" Lobelia asked in confusion.

"It was a near thing." Bilbo nodded solemnly.

Thorin shivered. He knew how dangerous Bilbo could be when angered. His past-self had been so wrapped up in his own problems and anger at being rejected by the other dwarf lords that he took it out on his 'new burglar'. He never realized how close he had come to being ridiculed back.

"So why are you getting along now?" Otho asked.

"He killed an orc that was going to kill me." Thorin covered, not wanting to explain the battle right outside of Goblin Town with Azog.

"Life debt!" Hildifons sang out.

"When did you kill an orc?" Lobelia demanded.

"The Fell Winter." Bilbo replied shortly.

While that wasn't when he had saved Thorin, Bilbo _had_ killed several orcs that had gotten into Bag End, alongside his parents. But because of the broken front door, his father fell ill due to the bone chilling cold. Bungo Baggins had passed on that next spring, living just long enough to help his wife and son plant the garden.

"That's right, you left Ered Luin in early March that year." Dain hummed. "Everything was running out. Food, fire fuel…"

"Don't remind me." Thorin groaned.

The dwarf-king-in-exile still had nightmares about that winter. He had never seen his nephew's so skinny before, and Fíli had become ill will a terrible cough. Kíli spent most of his time sleeping, each time he dropped off Thorin feared he would not wake back up. His sister, Dís, had almost starved herself to death to give her children her meager portions of bread and porridge. Thorin left that spring for two reasons. One, they needed money and food and blankets, with Thorin was willing to do anything to get them. And two, he could stand to watch his remaining family waste away anymore.

"Enough sad thoughts." Lobelia said suddenly as she slammed down a pork pot roast on the table. "Food can fix anything."

"Here, here, cousin." Bilbo grinned as he inhaled the wonderful smells.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo wasn't sure how much time had passed since they started supper, but he really didn't care. No one made a pork pot roast like Lobelia did. His mother's attempts were best left unmentioned. Thorin had leaned back with a sigh of contentment. While the dwarf hadn't eaten as much as Bilbo had liked, the hobbit-fairy knew that it was because Thorin was used to having smaller portions on the road for extended periods of time, not the 3-5 full course meals 6-8 times a day that the hobbits had.

Too bad Lobelia didn't know that.

"Eat." Lobelia insisted as she shoveled more mashed potatoes onto everyone's plates.

"Take it easy on the dwarves!" Hildifons yelped as he ducked her spoon.

"Lobelia, dwarves eat around three one course meals a day, unless there's a festival or some sort of celebration." Bilbo explained.

"Three one course meals per day!" Lobelia looked aghast.

"Not even that when travelling." Thorin added.

"No wonder you're so skinny!" Lobelia huffed.

Hildifons fell off the table laughing. Dáin looked a touch uncomfortable. Bilbo and Thorin started snickering. It was obvious that Hildifons and Dáin have had some form of conversation about Lobelia's statement. The red haired dwarf grumbled something under his breath that had Hildifons shooting up off the ground and pulling his ear.

"OW!" Dáin howled in pain.

"Take it back!" Hildifons snapped.

"I take it back! I take it back!" Dáin promised, and gingerly touch his red and achy ear after it was released from the pinch hold.

"And you said that _I'm_ whipped." Thorin let out a small chuckle.

"Well, this was a very fine meal, but I do believe that it's that we best be off now." Dáin began to stand up.

The hairs on the back of Bilbo's neck were instantly raised. Oh no he just didn't! Dáin did not just eat this hobbit's food to only walk out the door and head back to his cozy home in the Iron Hills, leaving his cousin to trek to Erebor all by himself again. By his hairy feet, it was not happening!

"Sit! Down!" Bilbo snarled angrily. "You may be able to walk out of a dwarven home like that, but that is not how you walk out of a hobbit home."

Dáin immediately dropped back into his chair while Hildifons snickered. Bilbo smiled what was called a "Lion's Smile" in the Shire, but Bilbo had changed it to a "Beorn Smile" after he had gotten back from Erebor the first time. Thorin inched away while leaning closer at the same time. He wanted to watch what happened, but not get pulled into the silver-tongued lashing that was about to happen.

"Where did you plan to head after you left?" Bilbo asked sweetly.

"To the Iron Hills." Dáin mumbled.

The dwarf was in shock at the ferocity from such a small creature. But in all honesty, he shouldn't be shocked, considering who he was married to. Guess Hildifons hadn't managed to get him used to the scariness that hobbits possess.

"And Thorin plans on traveling to Erebor, which in along the way to the Iron Hills, correct?" Bilbo continued, still smiling.

Thorin grinned as he caught on. Hildifons began grinning as well, liking the way his sister's-son was thinking. Bilbo's uncle sensed the beginning of a beautiful companionship that would form over the bonding of getting stubborn dwarves to do things _their_ way.

"Yes." Dáin mumbled, still not seeing where this conversation was heading.

"Well, since we'll all be traveling the same direction, we can travel together then, yes?" Bilbo finished.

"Of course." Dáin replied numbly, and then his brain caught up. "Wait, what?!"

"Too late!" Hildifons crowed. "We're going with!"

Dáin stared at Bilbo and Hildifons in even more shock. How could these two little hobbit-fairies outwit him so? It just couldn't be possible! But it was. Hildifons had been upset with Dáin for refusing to help his cousin and had been trying to get him to at least travel _to Erebor_ with Thorin, and Hildifons' nephew had managed it… maybe.

"But what about my pig?" Dáin burst out, trying to recover the situation. "And the Iron Hills? Little Stonehelm isn't of age yet!"

"Our boy can take care of _Barathgalt_ , he's 65 years old." Hildifons scolded his husband. "We'd be gone just as long, if not longer, even if we hadn't travelled with your cousin. And I _know_ that Thorin Stonehelm and Jovina can manage those stuffed-shirted idiots you call 'Council Members'."

Bilbo and Thorin fell to the floor laughing, Otho was holding onto the back of a chair, and Lobelia was cackling from the kitchen. Oh how lovely it was to watch a dwarf get the rug pulled out from under their feet, leaving them to stumble or fall flat on their nose.

Not too much later, Otho and Lobelia left with promises to be back the next day. Bilbo and Thorin escorted Dáin and Hildifons to a room to sleep, Bilbo warning them that if he woke to some _certain_ sounds coming from their room, he would retaliate be means of hair dye or pranked food. They agreed to be on their best behavior, and all was quiet for the rest of the night.

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Bilbo awoke with a sudden jerk. Blinking in shock, Bilbo noted that Hildifons was kneeling next to him in his bed, made with a bowl and several handkerchiefs. Checking the sun, Bilbo noted it was early morning, and no one else was probably up yet. Sitting up with a yawn, Bilbo focused on his uncle, who beckoned his nephew to follow him. Nodding, Bilbo flew after his uncle into the kitchen. Once settled onto the table with some bread and jam, Bilbo waited for the questions to come.

"The Green Lady appeared in to me a dream last night and begged me to help you and my cousin-in-law." Hildifons sighed. "Lady Yavanna said I would have to ask you for details, but to _please_ help you two. Why?"

Of all the questions that Bilbo expected, that was not one of them. Appetite waning, Bilbo set his food down with a sigh. Apparently Yavanna was desperate for Bilbo's life to be better. No dead dwarves, no one ring… but Bilbo knew that those things were not possible. He knew that dwarves would die in the Battle of Five Armies, and was not willing to let Frodo carry Sauron's One Ring of Power again. Unless they managed to kill Azog after Goblin Town and Bolg in Mirkwood. Rubbing his hands on his face, Bilbo sighed again and re-focused on his uncle.

"This is mine and Thorin's second time living this life because Yavanna and Mahal have granted us a second chance via petitioning Eru Ilúvatar." Bilbo replied truthfully. "Happens every couple hundred years or so, according to them. Sometimes longer. We were just lucky and got to come back together. Originally, Thorin died and the end of the quest because of Azog and left me newly discovered to be pregnant with our son, who was taken away from me by father's family after his birth."

"Why didn't my brothers or sisters do anything?" Hildifons demanded.

"They never responded to any of my letters." Bilbo sighed. "I'm assuming my mail was fiddled with."

"Well, that's not happening this time." Hildifons stated. "I'll do whatever I can to help. Even if it's only keeping Dáin from doing something stupid while we travel."

"Dáin didn't travel with us last time." Bilbo shrugged. "He told Thorin 'No', like all the other dwarf lords and went home. And I never met you either."

"Wow, what a surprise that my husband ran." Hildifons said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

"Wow indeed." Thorin commented as he stepped into the kitchen, making Bilbo's uncle jump in shock.

"Are you mad that I told?" Bilbo asked.

"No." Thorin shook his head. "But the less people who know, the better. We don't want to end up being locked away from society."

"True." Hildifons agreed. "So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Getting ready for the arrival of the rest of my company." Thorin replied. "None of whom know."

"Who don't know what?" Dáin gave a jaw cracking yawn as he entered the kitchen.

"The 12 dwarves who answered my call for the quest don't know that I'm here already." Thorin quickly covered his earlier words.

Dáin nodded and dropped off the sleep on the table. Hildifons giggled and grabbed the jam knife from its jar. Bilbo bit his lip as he watched his uncle behave like a fauntling and draw pictures on Dáin's face and hair. Thorin ate and pointedly avoided looking at his cousin. If he started laughing before Dáin was fully awake, well…

Let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.

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 _Translations_

Barathgalt = Khuzdul for: Pig. Yeah, Dáin named his battle-boar "Pig". I couldn't find an official Walden Media name for Dáin's pig, so I picked one.

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 _Timeline_

April 26th, year 2931: Dáin gets tricked into going on the quest by Bilbo, (evening), and the remainder of the company arrive in Bywater (200 miles in 10 days, 20 mi/day).

April 27th, year 2931: Hildifons reveals that Lady Yavanna asked him to aid his nephew in a dream the previous night, (morning).


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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"Hello!" Lobelia loudly called as she breezed through the front door of Bag End, Otho right behind her. "We're here!"

"We're in the kitchen!" Bilbo yelled back.

Dáin jerked awake, Hildifons having backpedaled and put the jam covered knife down when Lobelia first opened the door. Thorin chuckled at his cousin's movements. Dáin just wasn't a morning dwarf, preferring to lie in bed and snore most of the day away. Of course, Hildifons always had a trick or 269 -last count- up his sleeves to get Dáin up and going.

"Oh good!" Lobelia nodded happily as she placed down some bags of groceries. "I was thinking some more about what we should serve for the main course at dinner tonight, and then realized that I know absolutely nothing about dwarf cuisine. I have no idea what Mr. Thorin's company would like to eat."

"They'll eat just about anything and everything that isn't overly burnt or overly season." Thorin replied with a shrug.

"So you'd eat a leather tunic that was slow cooked in the stove?" Bilbo asked, making Thorin groan.

The other's hid snickers as Bilbo pointed out that the dwarves wouldn't eat _anything and everything_. Thorin wanted to bang his head on the table again. He just knew that it was going to be one of those days when he was going to get the life teased out of him.

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Forget just getting the life teased out of him, Thorin had his heart, soul, and mind teased out of him as well. Lobelia reminded him of his sister, Dís, and Otho reminded him of his nephews, Fíli and Kíli, once he loosened up, that is. Bilbo kept a close watch on Thorin's frustration levels and knew when to back off, somehow signaling Lobelia and Otho to do so as well. Dáin on the other hand, got dragged down the hall by his beard by a frustrated Hildifons three times before afternoon tea.

Just as the sun was starting to set, they were finally _done_! The venison roasts, lamb legs and liver, beef brisket and steaks, and pork chops, sausage, and smoked ribs, -with three or four of each type-, was the main attraction. Thorin, during one of Dáin's dragged off by the beard episodes, admitted that all dwarves liked the cooked, smoked, and grilled veggies, not the one that looked like they had just been plucked off a tree or the ground.

So aside from meat, there were vegetables that had been grown in a green house in late winter/early spring. Let it not be said that the Shire didn't learn from the Fell Winter. There was roasted and stuffed bell peppers, double stuffed and baked potatoes, sautéed and grilled eggplant, cucumber, and summer squash, fresh fruits off the tree, sliced and warmed peaches with a touch of sugar on top, a salad that consisted only of fruits like apples, pear, peaches, strawberries, and blueberries, and a small bowl of leafy salad for dear old Bombur, who enjoyed leafy greens on occasion.

And for desert… so many varieties of cookies, (sugar, peanut butter, chocolate chip, oatmeal and raisin, ones with nuts, some with coconut, and more), cakes, (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, a mix of vanilla and chocolate swirls, sweet angel cake, and others), sweet breads, many different types of candies, and an assortment of pies of all different shapes, sizes, and flavors.

To drink, there were large barrels of ale that had been ordered from the Green Dragon, along some red wine, water, and tea. But Bilbo was certain only himself and Dori were going to drink the tea. That is, until everyone else was suffering from a hangover the next morning from consuming too much of The Gaffer's home-brewed ale.

"At last!" Thorin groaned as he collapsed in a wooden chair perched in the corner of the kitchen.

"Go take a bath." Bilbo ordered from his perch on Thorin's shoulder, his nose wrinkling. "Okay, we all need to bathe."

"What about your company?" Otho asked, having gotten used to the dwarves while working with them all day.

Bilbo looked outside. About half of the sun was visible over the hilltop. The first of the company, Dwalin, wouldn't be there for another hour or so. All of them had time to bathe, and Bilbo pointedly glared at Dáin, who smelled the worst due to purposely dumping a sautéed onion mix on him in an attempt to get out of helping cook.

Thankfully, Bag End had two bathing areas, one that was the main one and used for guests, and the other was accessible only through his parent's old bedroom. Lobelia and Otho would have to bathe in their respective homes and then return, but Thorin, Dáin, Hildifons, and Bilbo would be able to take turns, (just in case someone turned up early), and bathe.

"As long as the ones staying here take turns, we should be fine." Bilbo replied.

"We'll be back then." Lobelia chirped happily, dragging a waving Otho, (who had resigned himself to his fate), out the door.

"She's as feisty as one of our dwarrowdams." Dáin commented.

"Indeed." Thorin agreed.

"Guests first." Bilbo grinned at Dáin.

"Wha-!" Dáin was cut off as Hildifons picked his husband up by the back of his shirt and carried him into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind them.

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Bilbo hummed as he wiggled into his fresh clothes, the ones that weren't covered in travel sweat and dirt, or flour and seasonings. Okay, he'd actually managed to use his magic to make copies of his normal hobbit wear, (with Hildifons' help), and Thorin had used a scissor to snip a couple of holes for his wings.

Thorin had dressed in his basic dark blue undershirt and tunic, both covered by armor that looked like diamond-shaped scales, and pants. A sapphire was caged in silver was on his right middle finger, -which was his signet ring-, his raven black hair was in four braids, (two in front, two in back), and were tied off with silver claps. His sleeveless warg-fur lined jacket, oilskin, fur-lined leather boots, arm bracers, his short sword called _Deathless_ , a battle-axe, and his oaken branch that he used as a shield were placed in one of the guest rooms or the entryway, depending on the item.

Lobelia and Otho had arrived back as Hildifons' was helping Dáin re-braid his hair. Under Bilbo's instructions, they weren't dressed in their festival bests, but in some nice, but gently used, clothes. The male hobbit was dressed in a pair of nice and gently used dark grey trousers, suspenders, a brown waistcoat, and a deep red dinner jacket. The female hobbit was dressed in a nice semi-formal occasion's dress, a pretty deep red that complimented her brown hair and eyes. Not long after the sun set, the bell next to the door gently rang.

"It's time." Bilbo exhaled nervously and flew to the door, followed by Thorin.

Hands shaking, Bilbo undid the lock on the door, and pulled it open. Just like last lifetime, Dwalin wasn't looking at the door when it opened. So when he did turn his head to introduce himself, he was shocked to see nothing but air in the entryway. The shock quickly turned to suspicion. This was supposed to be a burglar's home, (despite the Shire's inhabitants generally being kind and gentle folk), so there were probably a few traps lying about. Bilbo quickly fluttered from the doorknob to perch on the door lock, his movement causing Dwalin to glance down.

The look of speechlessness on the stoic warrior? Priceless.

"Hello." Bilbo greeted with a warm smile and small bow. "Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Baggins née Took, at your service."

"Dwalin, son of Fundin, at yours and your family's." Dwalin replied, though Bilbo was sure he was acting on the pre-learned manners that Balin had gotten into this thick skull when they were younger.

"Please come in." Bilbo gestured inside. "There are two other dwarves here already. One is Thorin…"

"You called?" Thorin asked, stepping into the front hallway.

Thorin had purposely remained out of sight to watch his cousin and longtime friend greet their host. If Dwalin had been rude and disrespectful, Thorin would've had some sharp words with his Captain of the Guard. But he needn't have worried, because when it came to people/things, (read: animals), smaller than Dwalin, especially if they were 'cute', the tall dwarf would be caring/shielding at best, and exceedingly overprotective at worst.

"Thorin." Dwalin greeted, a smile breaking out on his face.

Thorin chuckled and pulled his family member into a hug, which was greatly returned with strength that would have broken a man's ribs. But they were dwarves, made of much sterner stuff then the race of men. It had been about a month since they had last seen each other, and had missed one another. The two were 'as thick as thieves', as the saying goes.

"It is good to see you again." Thorin said.

"Aye." Dwalin agreed with a nod, and then glanced back at Bilbo with confusion in his eyes.

"Master Baggins is our host." Thorin explained while Bilbo smiled. "Though due to a recent change in his size, he did ask for some help providing a meal for us from his family."

"Oh?" Dwalin quirked an eyebrow.

"AIY-EE!"

The yell made the guardsman jump and have his axes in his hands in less than two seconds. Thorin rolled his eyes, having recognized the voice of the screamer. Bilbo was simply bewildered, not really understanding what was going on until Dáin ran down the hall with Hildifons and Lobelia hot on his heels. Dwalin startled at seeing another hobbit-fairy, looking back and forth between Bilbo and Hildifons. Bilbo shook his head and flew over to Thorin's shoulder, gently settling himself while not accidentally touching the dwarf's hair.

"NO!" Dáin yelled. "I don't want to wear that stinky flowery liquid!"

"What?" Dwalin muttered.

"I think he's talking about cologne or perfume." Bilbo hummed in thought.

"It doesn't smell like flowers, you big oaf." Hildifons scolded while grabbing his spouse by his undies, and pulled back.

"AH!" Dáin's voice went up an octave or three.

"Gotcha!" Lobelia cheered, and slapped the oil in her hands on Dáin's nose, leaving a dripping mess of liquid as she walked back to the kitchen.

Dwalin was baffled. The female hobbit had smacked Dáin's nose and then walked away. At least she hadn't touched his beard. And now the other hobbit-fairy _was_ touching Dáin's beard! Dwalin started to walk forward, but was held back by Thorin. Feeling more confused than ever, Dwalin turned his questioning eyes to his cousin as Dáin and Hildifons followed Lobelia down the hall.

"The hobbit-fairy you see is Hildifons Took, our host's uncle, and Dáin's Husband and _Amrâb Yasthûn_ (Soul-Husband)." Thorin explained.

 _That_ got Dwalin's attention. Not many dwarves ever found their _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). And Dáin's _Amrâb Yasthûn_ (Soul-Husband) was their host's uncle? How long had Thorin known that?

"I found out yesterday." Thorin said, making Dwalin realized that he had been muttering-thinking.

"If you would please, Master Dwalin, I would greatly appreciate it if you would remove your shoes." Bilbo requested. "I don't believe that I will have the time to scrub the floors clean again before we leave in the morning."

"So yer coming with us then?" Dwalin asked, but did as his host requested of him and removed his muddy boots.

"Yes." Bilbo nodded. "Thorin was kind enough to explain what his presence here meant and how it related to me when he arrived."

Dwalin paused and stared at his cousin with a 'yeah, right' look. There was no way that _Thorin_ had _kindly_ explained anything. It just wasn't in his personality. The glare Thorin gave him, and the giggles the little hobbit-fairy gave, made Dwalin realize he had been talking out loud… again. Damn it!

"Language!" Lobelia suddenly snapped from the end of the long hallway.

Dwalin jumped in shock, believing that Thorin's younger sister, Dís, had somehow managed to sneak after them. When he saw that it was the female hobbit in a red dress, he felt embarrassment well up in him. He had been frighten by a soft female of the soft Shire-lands?

"What was that?" Lobelia questioned in a dangerous tone.

Dwalin's eyes grew wide, and he turned his head to look at Thorin. Only to realize that his cousin had backpedaled to the wall as fast as he could, taking the hobbit-fairy on his shoulder with him. Thorin did not want to get in the way of Lobelia Bracegirdle's temper. The female hobbit reminded him of Dís _way_ too much.

And then another dwarf rang the bell by Bilbo's door.

"Talk about saved by the bell." Bilbo mumbled, fluttering off Thorin's shoulder to open the door again.

Balin was slightly shocked to see his brother standing in the entryway. He was even more startled to see that Thorin was there and had pressed himself against the wall, the king-in-exile and his guard warily watching something or someone that Balin couldn't see. The elderly dwarf quickly entered the hobbit home, worried that Thorin and his brother were in danger, but some fluttering caught his eye, so he glanced down. Oh…

Bilbo smiled politely at Balin's shocked expression upon seeing him. Balin had been the only dwarf to visit him last lifetime after the quest. He had met Frodo, and had given Bilbo a knowing look, but didn't say anything out loud. Not long after, he went to reclaim Moria with Ori and Óin. None of them had survived. Óin died by the Watcher in the Water at Moria's western gate, Balin died of a poisoned orc arrow, and Ori was amongst the last to die at Balin's tomb, defending the dwarf who had been his mentor all the way to his death.

"Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Baggins née Took, at your service." Bilbo bowed, wiping his eyes dry with a quick dash of his hand.

"Balin, son of Fundin, at yours and your family's." Balin replied, bowing as well before looking at the scene before him.

"Do not insult the females of this land." Thorin said softly. "They have the temperament of Dís."

That made perfect sense. Dwalin had most likely said something that put his foot in his mouth. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time he had done so.

"Well, let me introduce Lobelia Bracegirdle." Bilbo said, quickly flying down the hall to his soon to be cousin-in-law, who politely curtsied while glaring at Dwalin the whole time. "She is the fiancée of my cousin, Otho Sackville-Baggins."

"Someone say my name?" Otho asked as he came out of the kitchen.

"Yes cousin, I'm introducing your girl since you're too lazy to get out here and do it yourself." Bilbo teased the younger hobbit from his perch on Lobelia's shoulder.

Otho squawked at the implication while Bilbo and Lobelia laughed at the expression on Otho's face. Thorin chuckled as well while he shook his head. Seriously, how was it that Otho and Lobelia, who had never met him or any of his family before, remind him of his sister and sister's-sons so much? The bell rang again, and this time Thorin answered the door. Speaking of his sister's-sons…

"Uncle!" Kíli leapt forward and caught the older dwarf in a hug.

Thorin chuckled again as he wrapped his arms around his nephew. The endless energy that the youth had seemed to ease some of his worries away… ah, how he envied the younger generation at times. Fíli joined his brother in hugging his mother's older brother. The two dwarves had always looked to Thorin for guidance and approval since their father, Víli, had died in a skirmish with some wayward orcs when Fíli was seven and Kíli was two.

"How did you get here before us?" Kíli asked, the surprise and awe obviously heard in his voice.

"He left right after the preliminaries at the gathering of the dwarf lords, that's why." Dáin said as he wandered back down to the front door, obliviously having gotten over his earlier embarrassment.

"Dáin!" Fíli and Kíli cheered, abandoning their uncle for their cousin.

"Dwarf down!" Dáin wailed as he 'collapsed' under the dog-piled.

"Suck it up, you wuss." Hildifons snorted, having perched himself on Lobelia's other shoulder.

Fíli and Kíli's eyes grew wide when they spotted Hildifons and Bilbo on Lobelia's shoulders. Immediately, they were off of Dáin and at Lobelia's shoulders as they looked over the two hobbit-fairies in childlike awe and wonder. They whispered and gasped as Bilbo and Hildifons fluttered their wings, smiling at the boys' reactions. Thorin smiled at the scene as well, loving that his nephews could find such interest in the little things in life.

The bell rang once more and Thorin turned to open it. As he pulled the handle back, a wall of dwarves fell towards him. Thorin knew he wouldn't be able to get out of the way in time and would probably be crushed under the onslaught. He didn't feel the small hand on the collar of his shirt, but he did feel the jerk back from the door. Steadying himself, Thorin turned his head to see that Bilbo had yanked him out of the way before settling himself on his shoulder.

"Get off, you big lump!" Glóin snarled at Bifur, who snarled something back in Khuzdul.

"I know that I'm pretty, but I've never had _this_ many people swoon because of it." Bilbo commented lightly from his perch on Thorin's shoulder.

Hildifons fell off of Lobelia's shoulder, howling in laughter with Dáin. Thorin snorted, his shoulders shaking as he tried to stuff down his chuckles. Lobelia and Otho clung to each other as they laughed, but still ended up on the floor. Balin and Dwalin were chuckling, and Fíli and Kíli were snickering as well, leaning against the wall to support themselves. There were a few chuckles and groans from the dwarf pile in the doorway, while Gandalf looked bemused at all of them.

" _Kakhf_ _ê_! (Shit/Crap!)" Bifur snarled one of the few Khuzdul words Bilbo recognized, simply because it was a curse.

"Bifur!" Bofur let out a pained squawk.

The dwarf with the hat and cheerful outlook on life had already been scolded by Dori because of his cousin's language. Something about there being young ears present… but it was common knowledge that Dori was the strongest dwarf on either side of the Misty Mountains, and getting on his bad side was _not_ a good idea.

"That looks like it hurts." Bilbo had hopped off Thorin's shoulder and was fluttering by Bifur's and Glóin's heads. "His red hair has snagged on the axe in his head."

"And only close family and spouses can handle hair amongst the dwarves." Hildifons hummed as he flew next to his nephew before raising his voice. "Any close family or spouse to the red head with a bushy mane?"

"Aye!" Óin tried to raise himself up, but was re-flattened by Bombur's weight.

Bilbo and Hildifons glanced at each other, and then flew over to Bombur's hands. One hobbit-fairy taking one hand, the two pulled Bombur up and out the door, gently setting him on his feet. Once Bombur was situated, Bilbo turned back to the dwarf pile, where Thorin was helping Dori and Ori up, and Hildifons turned to the still amused looking Gandalf.

"Nice of you to help out, _Gandalf_." Hildifons huffed, leaving the wizard to sputter and look flustered as he and Bilbo helped Nori back to his feet.

Óin untangled his brother's hair from Bifur's axe, and the dwarf was helped up by Bombur, Glóin pushing his brother's hands away as he rocked to his feet. Bilbo and Hildifons reclaimed their perches on the shoulders of their respective dwarves, Bilbo on Thorin and Hildifons and Dáin, as Bofur wiggled around a touch and popped up with a cheerful grin on his face, happy he could breathe normally again.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'm Bofur, that's my brother Bombur, and that's my cousin Bifur." Bofur introduced himself and his family with a bow.

" _Dolzekh Menu_ , (Thank you)." Bifur said in Khuzdul as he bowed.

"At your service." Bombur added as he also bowed.

"I'm Glóin, and this is my brother Óin." Glóin introduced, and bowed.

"I'm not a bother!" Óin snapped, having missed what his sibling had said while Bilbo again found himself believing that the dwarf had 'selective-hearing', and wasn't actually partially deaf.

"Not bother, _brother_!" Glóin said louder.

"Oh." Óin simmered down.

"He doesn't hear too well." Glóin added in a lower voice.

"Pheasant rears who sell?" Óin bellowed as he raised his ear horn up and narrowed his eyes. "Are you drunk again? You'd better not have slipped some ale into your saddle bag when Súna wasn't looking."

Bilbo couldn't help it, and he started giggling at the antics between the two siblings. It reminded him of his cousins bickering over who got the last cookie. Hildifons was snickering as well. The rest of the company rolled their eyes at the two dwarves and hid their laughs as well. Then Bilbo's eyes narrowed and he jumped off of Thorin's shoulder. Moving faster than anyone could see, he slammed the lid of his mother's Glory Box down, making Nori jump in shock.

"Hands out of my mother's belongings." Bilbo snarled.

Nori stared at the tiny creature with wings in shock. And then he laughed. Anyone who could see him attempting to snitch a few things through a crowd, _and_ nearly scare the snot out of him when they caught him, had a good eye and wasn't about to take shit from anyone. Nori got the feeling they would get along. But for him, unfortunately…

"Nori!" Dori practically wailed, making Ori stuff his fingers in his ears at the noise. "How could you do this to our host? This is supposed to be a chance for you to turn a new leaf!"

"You mean he wasn't testing my skills?" Bilbo asked with a raised eyebrow. "Granted it's been a few years since I nicked some produced from Farmer Maggot's fields, I may be a touch rusty."

"Bilbo, you made off with a sack of potatoes, a dozen carrots, and six cabbages from the hobbit 3 weeks ago!" Otho huffed with an eye roll while Lobelia snickered behind her hand. "Not that he knows it, you managed to blame several of your Took cousins in their tweens for your deeds."

Bilbo just grinned, completely unashamed. Dori had fallen silent and Nori had doubled over laughing. Now the dwarven thief really like this… was he a hobbit? He looked like one, just a miniature one with wings. Bilbo easily could see that Ori's fingers were itching to sketch him, and his Uncle Hildifons. It wasn't every day that you saw such an amazing person/creature.

"Now that the dwarves have all introduced themselves, the hobbits will have a turn." Bilbo fluttered up so he was eye level with the majority of folk in the house. "I am Bilbo Baggins, and yes, I am a hobbit. I was not born this way but given this form, the hobbit's original form, by Lady Yavanna around two weeks ago. My kin stopped using this form in the Second Age because cruel men of the far East and far South would cut off our wings. But some did offer help in this form during the Last Alliance against Sauron."

"I am Otho Sackville-Baggins." Otho stepped forward and didn't show any uneasiness when all eyes turned to him. "I am Bilbo's cousin, our fathers were brothers. And this is my fiancée…"

"Lobelia Bracegirdle." Lobelia curtsied with a smile, and then turned to give Dwalin an 'I'm watching you' hand gesture, prompting confused looks and chuckles from everyone else.

"And I am Hildifons Took, Bilbo's uncle." Hildifons introduced himself. "Unlike my nephew, I accidentally changed to this form the first time I met this lump of stone you folks call Dáin, who is also my husband and Soul Mate."

That announcement was met with jaw dropped silence. Seriously, that lone cricket chirped _so_ loudly. No one had been expecting _that_ , they all knew that Dáin was in an arranged political married to Jovina of the Stonefoot Clan. But if the hobbit-fairy was Dáin's husband and _Amrâb Yasthûn_ (Soul-Husband)…

"How?" Fíli finally managed to croak out.

"66 years ago, I was adventuring as a tween on the east side of Bree, when I heard clashing metal." Hildifons launched into the story. "Being a Took and growing up on stories on my Great-Great-Great Uncle Bandobras "Bullroar" Took, I was just dying with curiosity to see what was going on. Off the road a few yards was a dwarf with red hair and brown eyes fighting about a dozen or so orcs."

"I was busy dispatching the filth and was startled when a hobbit jumped on the back of one of the orcs and stabbed it with his sword." Dáin picked up. "This distraction cost me and I was knocked down. There was a sudden flash of light and tree branches and roots were swinging everywhere, killing the orcs. When the trees were done with the orcs, they stopped moving. Where the light had originated from, there was now a miniature hobbit with emerald green wings."

"Dáin brought me back to Tuckborough, where we were informed by my father, Gerontius Took aka The Old Took, what had happened to me." Hildifons continued. "It was because I had met what men call their 'Soul Mate' and he was in direct danger of dying. We hobbits call them our _Anima Gemella_ , (Soul Mate) in our original, ancient, and rarely used language."

"And since he was my _Amrâb Yasthûn_ (Soul-Husband), Hildifons refused to part from me and we went back to the Iron Hills after he manage to change back to the more commonly seen hobbit form." Dáin finished. "Been together ever since."

"What of Lady Jovina?" Dori asked, aghast that Dáin would have someone… on the side, as it was.

"Arranged political marriage." Dáin and Hildifons said at the same time, and Dori relaxed a touch.

"Well, enough standing around with our tummy's rumbling." Bilbo grinned as Bombur's stomach gave a grumble. "Follow me. And watch out for the-"

"Oh!" Gandalf moaned as his head smacked the chandelier.

"Chandelier." Bilbo sighed and shook his head. "That keeps happening."

Bilbo flew down the hall to the door dining room, where the long table had been set for everyone. The dwarves were gobsmacked at the sight of all the food that had been set before them. They'd only had skimpy rations for days, and even on important days such as your coming of age day, they'd never had a feast like what was set before them.

"Dig in!" Bilbo grinned as Thorin sat down, and he fluttered down to the table.

And dug in they did. That food was gone, gone, gone! In less than a half an hour, the meats, fruits, veggies, and deserts were all in their stomachs. Belts were loosened as appreciative groans were given. Everyone had a dazed expression as they leaned back in their chairs. These hobbits were good cooks! They should have traded in the Shire more often!

"Now everyone take their dishes to the kitchen for cleaning." Hildifons stood up with a groan, not wanting to stand as everyone else groaned at his words. "Don't make me grab the frying pan. Not you Gandalf, we need to talk."

Dáin stood up and had his dirty dishes in the kitchen faster than anyone could see. Thorin gave a chuckle, and Bilbo began to giggle as well, along with Otho and Lobelia. Thorin stood and took his items into the kitchen as well, and everyone followed suit, cleaning and putting things away as well.

Once the dishes were clean, Bilbo led Lobelia and Otho to the front door. Since they were not part of the quest, they weren't privy to the details. With letters that Bilbo had written, (his will to his cousin Fortinbras, a message to the Gamgee's with a request to keep his garden alive, and a note to Lobelia's parents asking them to watch over Bag End while he was gone), and Lobelia giving Dwalin one last look that clearly said 'Behave', the two hobbits left, wishing Bilbo luck.

Bilbo flew back down the hall to the gathering. Everyone else was getting seated, while chatting with each other, so they could talk about the quest. Bilbo snickered as he watched Uncle Hildifons scolded Gandalf for signing his nephew up for a dragon-slaying quest while he wasn't even at home. Balin, being the sharp-eared advisor, heard that part.

"What do you mean, our host 'wasn't home when Gandalf came here'?" Balin asked, making everyone stop what they were doing.

"Exactly that." Hildifons replied. "Bilbo was in Tuckborough visiting my brothers and sisters."

If looks could kill… Gandalf would be under Middle-Earth as deep as the Lonely Mountain was tall.

"You mean he didn't know squat until we turned up?" Nori asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He didn't know squat until I came here two weeks ago and found him like this." Thorin elaborated. "But Bilbo has graciously agreed to help us however he can. Which is more than I can say about _some_ people that I know."

"Hey!" Dáin glared at his cousin.

"You wanted to run back to the Iron Hills with your tail between your legs." Hildifons snarled.

"What?" Fíli and Kíli squawk at the same time. "Cousin!"

"He's going now." Bilbo grinned.

"You tricked me." Dáin huffed.

"We're _going_." Hildifons glared at his husband, who wisely shut his mouth.

"Balin, do you have the contract?" Thorin turned to his long-time advisor and cousin.

"Ah." Balin pulled the contract out and lay it open on the table.

Bilbo hadn't really looked over the contract the last time it was given to him, and so re-read it more thoroughly this time around. And boy was he glad he did.

"If you think I'm signing this… _fire fuel_ , you're dumber than a hobbit that has willing tired the Old Gaffer's Moonshine more than once." Bilbo huffed, an angry expression on his little face as he turned away from the contract and leveled a glare at Thorin, making the dwarf want to squirm in his seat. "I can't believe that you actually signed this claptrap."

"What is wrong?" Thorin asked with a sigh, and everyone else watched with concerned looks as Hildifons fluttered over to read the contract as well.

"Let's start with the first bit I see, this really tiny writing." Bilbo pointed to the part above the main introduction paragraph. " _In role as Burglar for Thorin and Company, or in any other role they see fit, at their sole discretion from time to time._ So essentially, you can change my profession of Burglar to anything else at any given time, without my permission, and I'd have to do it, is that it? I can be relabeled as a fisherman, a miner, a pack mule, or a prostitute, and have to do that job."

Ori spat out his drink at those words. Bilbo wasn't sure if it was ale, tea, or water, but at any rate, he knew that Dwalin and Óin didn't appreciate getting splattered with the liquid. Thorin blanched as he re-read the tiny writing. Hildifons was beginning to shake, and if Bilbo was right, it was in anger.

"The next part I'm concerned with, _Thorin and Company_. Once I sign this, am I not considered to be part of this company?" Bilbo shook his head. " _And as appended to from time to time at the sole discretion of the Director, with all new material being read as if originally included herein_. You add to my contract without me knowing about it, maybe making me a slave for all I know, and I'm supposed to be okay with that?

" _Burglar is 'at the Service' of Thorin and Company until released there-from_. So not when my job is done, it's when you say I'm done, making me feel like a slave again. _Cash on delivery up to and not exceeding one fourteenth of the total profit [if any]._ So I'm not getting paid? _All traveling expenses guaranteed in any event,_ but later it says, _Return Journey is deemed outside the Terms of Reference encompassed herein, and accordingly Burglar shall return to his place of residence by his own means, guidance, expertise, and expense._ That means I have to get back to the Shire, by myself, with no mode of transportation, coin, or clothes that were previously provided?

" _Basic funeral to 'commoner' or peasant standard is provided for only. Lavish ceremonies and jeweled or gilded coffins not provided. Plain pine box is the normal standard_. Hobbits don't use coffins. Being seen as the children/grandchildren of Lady Yavanna, we're buried in a blanket made from plant fibers, such as cotton or tree palms for simple, easy, and natural decomposition, not a stained and treated box of wood.

" _Furthermore, the Company shall retain any and all Recovered Goods until such a time as full and final reckoning can be made, from which the Total Profits can then be established. Then and only then, will the Burglar's fourteenth share be estimated and divided_. That could take years! Based off of what I've heard from Thorin, Erebor is filled with gold, jewels, and items that dwarves would like with very little that would appeal to a hobbit. And 'estimated and divided'? 'Estimated' how, might I ask?

" _Burglar shall devise means and methods to circumvent any difficulties arising from any illegal or illicit occupation or guardianship of Company's rightful home and property. Successful disposal of any such guardian, creature or squatter in said home_. And, _Present Company is not obliged to assist Burglar in this so called 'pest control' phase of the Adventure_. Do I look like a Dragon Slayer to you?

" _Meals provided [or not] at the sole discretion of the Director, with due respect for availability, season, or any special dietary requirements not disclosed at the outset_. In other words, Thorin decides if I eat or not. How delightful. On a side note, _'Meals' here shall refer and shall be restricted to breakfast, luncheon, and evening dinner. So-called second breakfast, morning or afternoon tea, or late supper are not included_. That's fine, I haven't had a hobbit's appetite since the Fell Winter. Though I will need to snack throughout the day due to my size, until I manage to return to my other form. I have a smaller stomach, so I digest food quicker, and get hungry faster. Just some dried fruit and nuts.

"Oh, and this ticks me off. _Company is prepared to sample Burglar's wines, ales, beers, and meads; in short, any beverages of a non-perishable nature, and if found acceptable, to transport such beverages at Company's own expense. And for Company's own consumption_. So you'd be doing it right now, before I signed anything? We have a special little word for these actions here in the Shire. It's called: _Stealing_. And you'd be willing to transport them, but only you could drink them? Lovely. And here's to hoping you don't take the wine that was pressed the year I was born, meant to be served to my relatives at my funeral.

" _Disputes arising between the Contract Parties shall be heard and judged by an arbitrator of the Company's choosing and all pleas shall be pleaded, shrewed, defended, answered, debated, and judged in the Dwarvish Tongue_. Are you planning on teaching me your secret language on the journey? No? Then there's a problem.

" _Burglar agrees to execute all papers and to perform such other acts as Company may deem necessary to secure for Company or its designee the rights herein assigned_. Such other acts meaning what? Getting that prostitute feeling again. Shall I shuck out of my trousers the whole journey?

" _Weaponry not provided_. Hobbits are peaceful by nature. We don't have any self-defense classes or swordplay schools. We farm, fish, and trade. Yes, it's a miracle we haven't been attacked yet, but if we are attacked on the road, I'm a sitting duck unless I get something to protect myself. And I can guarantee that anything hobbit sized in Bree will fall apart after the first clash.

" _Pipeweed and other such luxury items shall be provided by Burglar; indeed not only for himself, but for the other members of the Company if such can be obtained along the way by means pertinent to his profession_. Same as the ale and wine, _stealing_. Get your own damn pipeweed!

" _The Company may terminate this Contract for any reason or for no reason by giving one [1] days' notice to the Burglar_. What if we're almost there? I'll be stranded with no food, coin, or transportation back home. I'll have to sell myself to the men just to get some bread.

"I don't know what you were thinking when you made this contract up, but it is utter nonsense! I refuse to sign such a thing that is obviously taking advantage of me! I never believed that dwarves were greedy until I read _this_! And don't pull any, _Burglar may not modify or change this Contract in any way except by a writing signed and agreed by both Parties hereto_. I haven't sign shit yet, and I doubt that I will if 'contracts' such as this one are shoved in my general direction!"

By the time Bilbo was done speaking, he was on his furry little feet and yelling in anger. Hildifons was just as angry as his nephew was, except that he managed to keep his fury to himself… so far. Thorin groaned and pressed his knuckles into his forehead and eyes, just feeling the migraine building. Many of the dwarves looked ashamed, none of their contracts even _mentioned_ what had been in the hobbit-fairy's contract.

Ori took a deep breath and stood up, pulling away from Dori's grip as he did so. Walking over to where Thorin and Bilbo were sitting, he grabbed the parchment and held the area where the signatures were next to the fire in the fireplace. Thorin raised an eyebrow before remembering. Dwarven scholars used special ink marks that were invisible unless held up to a heated surface, and turned invisible once cooled again, to mark which works were theirs and which works were another's. Soon, the mark appeared on the contract.

"This was done up by Lýthur." Ori sighed and looked over to Nori. "Apparently, he thought you were going to be our Burglar, and wanted to make life as hard for you as possible."

"He is never going to accept that I won that card game fair and square." Nori leaned back with a huff. "Dwalin was glaring daggers into the back of my skull the whole time, so he can vouch for me."

"Point of the matter, we need to make a new contract." Thorin interrupted.

"I'll get right on it." Balin vowed.

"Thank you." Bilbo nodded as his anger simmered down. "I'm sorry I yelled."

"I'd be yelling too, if this was shoved at me." Balin soothed and glanced over to his apprentice. "Good eye Ori."

Ori blushed under the praise and handed the now-worthless and unsigned contract back. He muttered a few words that Bilbo couldn't quite make out, and went to sit back down. At this point, Gandalf leaned forward.

"I have a couple of things that will help with your quest Thorin." Gandalf said, pulling out the map and key. "These were given to me by a dwarf that had been held prisoner for many long years, and was ill unto death in a ruined fortress. He didn't remember his name, but gave these to me, saying that they needed to be taken to his son. It was only a couple of weeks prior to our meeting in Bree that I was able to discern his, and your, identity."

Thorin exhaled sharply. He had forgotten this part. His father had died less than a year ago. Nevertheless, Thorin took the map and unfolded it, while Bilbo grabbed the key, which was smaller than he was, thankfully. Thorin sighed softly as he looked over the map of Erebor, and the runes which spoke of a secret passage into the mountains.

"There's another way in." Thorin said softly.

"There is?" Kíli asked.

"These runes tell of another entrance." Thorin replied as he held up the map and pointed to the dwarven words. "The key must unlock the door."

"Really Captain Obvious?" Bilbo asked, mischief glistening in his eyes as most everyone else at the table snorted in laughter.

"Very funny." Thorin replied with a small smile and brushed the giggling Bilbo off the table.

The angle Thorin had brushed him off sent him upwards and backwards. Bilbo fluttered his wings and gently flew backwards until he was perched on a little shelf midway down the hallway, still giggling. Thorin rolled his eyes at the hobbit-fairy, who giggled some more. Snickers eventually dying down, Bilbo realized that he was perched next to a certain knob on the wall. He hadn't thought of this knob in years.

"Thorin." Bilbo called and beckoned to the dwarf. "Could you come over here and press this knob?"

Thorin raised an eyebrow, but did Bilbo asked him to. His jaw dropped and eyebrows shot up in surprise as a section of the wall moved aside, revealing a secret tunnel that led down into the earth. Everyone else gathered around in less than a second, each talking over the other, but all wanting to know the same thing. Where did this tunnel lead to?

"Grab these." Bilbo grinned as he dropped a towel on everyone's head, making Thorin wondered when he had gone to get them, and how he had managed to carry 15 towels and 2 washcloths down the hall with no one noticing. "And we'll need a few candles."

"Towels?" Dwalin asked as he stared at the piece of cloth like it was going to bite him.

"You're going to need it." Bilbo replied as he perched himself on Thorin's shoulder after the dwarf picked up a candle. "Let's go, I haven't thought of this place in _years_!"

Thorin wanted to shrug, but decided against it in favor of keeping Bilbo in a pleasant mood. Walking down the tunnel, -oh look, there are stairs-, Thorin kept the candle in front of him, listening to his kin pushing and shoving each other with some less than polite words, and yells for him to hurry. Thorin rolled his eyes again, and paused as he felt the air grow moist and warm around him. Moving quicker, they came to a large underground room, where Bilbo directed Thorin to a torch that was in the wall. Lighting it, light spilled into the whole room revealing…

"Hot Springs!" Fíli yelled in delight.

"These will definitely do these old bones some good." Balin hummed.

"They'll do my rear some good after all that bucking my pony did today." Dwalin added as he began to remove his clothes.

"Don't just stand there." Bilbo giggled at the jaw dropped expressions as he lowered himself into a little pool just the right size for Hildifons and himself. "Climb in."

The dwarves stripped of their clothes, (Bilbo still pointedly looked the other way since the only dwarf he wanted to ogle at was Thorin), and slid into the hot water, sighs of relief filling the room. Family members finger comb each other's hair and scrubbed the dirt and sweat from their bodies. It was a very nice and very rare treat that they enjoyed thoroughly.

"Can we come back here?" Kíli moaned in delight as the knot in his shoulder he'd gotten after his pony spooked and bolted finally loosened.

"There are hot springs in Erebor, laddie." Balin chuckled, and then sighed. "Though it may take a while to get them up again, since we don't know the state they're in."

"I'll ask the owner." Bilbo glanced around mischievously. "Owner says yes."

"Woo-hoo!" Kíli cheered.

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A couple of hours later, and after they were all nicely relaxed and looking like raisins, everyone climbed out of the hot springs and got dressed, trudging up the stairs to the main hallway. Bilbo kept yawning as he nibbled on bits of bread, leaning against Thorin's neck. He really didn't want to fall asleep yet. They hadn't… oh wait, Thorin had begun to hum as he stood next to the fireplace, the other dwarves joining in.

Bilbo knew this song. This was the song that had him changing his mind about going on this insane and suicidal quest last lifetime, though Thorin never knew it. It was the song of longing for a home that had been stolen from them, that had burned to the ground by Smaug. It just wouldn't be the same if they didn't sing _Misty Mountains_. Thorin stared intently into the flames as he started to sing the old song that he had learned during his youth.

" _Far over the Misty Mountains cold,  
to dungeons deep and caverns old.  
We must away ere break of day,  
to find our long-forgotten gold._"

The others joined in the song and stood to face Thorin as the exiled king turned to face them. This was the coming together of the company. This was the understanding of their goal, and that they all were willing to do whatever it took to reach that goal. Bilbo just lay still as he listened to the song, Thorin's throat vibrating with every word, shaking the hobbit to his core.

" _The pines were roaring on the height,  
the winds were moaning in the night.  
The fire was red, it flaming spread,  
the trees like torches, blazed with light._"

Bilbo wiped his eyes dry. He hadn't seen Erebor burn in dragon fire, but he had witnessed the destruction of Laketown by the same dragon. It was awful. Hopefully, this time, they'd be able to get rid of Smaug without the innocents being put in danger. That was Bilbo's last coherent thought as he finally gave into the call of sleep.

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Pairings seen/mentioned for the first time: Glóin/Glóin's Wife: OFC Súna

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 _Translations_

Amrâb Yasthûn = Khuzdul for: Soul-Partner/Husband/Male Spouse. This term is used for married couples, referencing the male spouse(s).

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

Kakhfê! = Khuzdul for: Shit!/Crap! If you've seen The Desolation of Smaug, you'll recognize this as one of the words Thorin says in his jail cell while speaking with Balin, after 'visiting' with Thranduil: "îsh kakhfê ai-'d dûr-rugnu", roughly translating to something along the lines of: "I pour excrements (poop) on your head". Modern Lingo says: "I shit on your head".

Dolzekh Menu = Khuzdul for: Thank you

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Itanlian for: Soul Mate

Note: I'm having the hobbit's ancient language be Italian.

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 _Timeline_

April 27th, year 2931: Lobelia and Otho still aid with cooking, the Company and Gandalf arrive, and Bilbo lectures the dwarves about proper contracts.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Bilbo yawned as he awoke to the sound of birds chirping. Rubbing his eyes with a mumble of morning sleepiness, Bilbo propped himself up to look around. He was in his bowl-bed in his bedroom. Fíli and Kíli had commandeered the big bed, and Thorin was asleep on the bench/bed under the main window. Odd, he thought that the dwarves would have woken up by now. Oh, never mind, Thorin was making his 'is it morning already?' sounds. With a yawn and a stretch, Thorin rubbed his eyes, and then gave a soft smile as Bilbo fluttered over to settle on his chest.

"Good morning." Bilbo whispered as he smiled at the dwarf.

"Morning." Thorin rumbled back.

"Ready for the day?" Bilbo asked.

"I guess…" Thorin mumbled before giving a jaw cracking yawn. "No."

"Up." Bilbo said firmly and flew to the door, taking Thorin's blanket with him.

"Evil hobbit." Thorin grumbled, but followed because he wanted his snuggly warm blanket back.

Bilbo giggled softly as he lead Thorin into the kitchen, where Hildifons was already up and about making breakfast for fourteen dwarves, two hobbits, and one wizard in his 'normal' hobbit form. Dáin was still sleeping, and Bilbo guessed that the dark marks on his uncle's neck were part of the reason… but he _really_ didn't want to know the details.

"Good morning." Hildifons greeted the two as Thorin plopped into a chair, Bilbo settling his blanket around his shoulders.

"Morning." Thorin grunted, nodding off a little.

"Morning, Uncle." Bilbo smiled as he settled onto Thorin's right shoulder.

Even in his normal form, Hildifons' features hadn't really changed. Wide pointed hobbit ears, large feet with nice golden-gray curls on top, not much of a chubby hobbit frame, but he had been living with dwarves for the past 66 years. Dark golden hair with the occasional splatter of dark gray here and there, but the braids within the curls were what caught Bilbo's eye. He could pick out a marriage braid and the braid of the Line of Durin. If there were more, they were hidden under Hildifons' curls.

"We'll have enough food for breakfast and have some good traveling rations for the next few days." Hildifons commented as he poked at the bacon frying in the pan.

"That's good." Bilbo grunted as he poured Thorin a cup of coffee and brought it over to the dwarf.

Thorin perked up immediately as the scent of the coffee reached his nose. Taking the cup he took a deep swallow, and sighed as the hot drink loosened some tension in his shoulders. Bilbo smiled and bit his lip to keep his giggles from being heard. Thorin was not a morning dwarf, and was often grumpy without a decent amount of time to get himself together… or be able to have a cup or six of coffee.

"Smells good in here." Bombur commented as he dragged his brothers into the dining room after him.

Bofur was definitely hung over. Bilbo couldn't tell if Bifur was, he had never seen the dwarf drunk before, so he didn't know if he had a hangover or if this attitude was simply part of his morning routine. Thorin watched as Bofur and Bifur were set into chairs with a stern warning to not get up. Bombur then wandered over to help Hildifons cook, seemingly content to leave his brother and cousin with killer migraines of their own making. Of course, Bilbo knew that Bombur was actually searching for something to aid with the headaches, especially for Bifur, as he puttered about the kitchen looking at the herbs and seasonings while making sure the eggs didn't burn.

Finally, Bilbo flew into the pantry and grabbed a light blue tin of a special mix of tea leaves that his mother and father had made with their Baggins and Took knowledge of hangover-soothing herbs. They had the exclusive rights of it, of course, and made of good deal of money after every festival and wedding in the Shire.

"Here." Bilbo set the tin down. "Let these seep in hot water for 5 minutes, then give it to your family."

"Thank you." Bombur mumbled, not realizing that he had been that obvious in his pursuit of drunken hangover healing.

Nori, Dwalin, Glóin, and Dáin were also smashed. Dori had a mild hangover, having been intelligent enough to only have one cup of The Gaffer's Homebrewed Moonshine after hearing Bilbo's warning during his rant about his contract. Ori had no hangover since his older brother had kept him away from the alcohol. Óin and Balin also had no hangovers, being smart enough to know when enough was enough, as well as Fíli and Kíli having a limit put on them by their uncle. Thorin would have been murdered by Dís if he had let them drink until they were stoned.

"Where's Gandalf?" Bilbo asked suddenly, making everyone stop eating their breakfast or sipping their hangover relief tea.

"I'm right here Bilbo." Gandalf said as he ducked into the kitchen. "I was making sure that our mounts would be ready for us in an hour. Those cousins of yours were all too happy to help."

"That means checking under the saddle blankets for gassy cushions*." Bilbo sighed as he shook his head, but still smiled at the idea of Otho and Lobelia pranking the dwarves.

"Gassy cushions?" Fíli and Kíli leaned forward eagerly.

"Later." Bilbo waved them away.

"But-" Kíli began to protest.

Bilbo growled, actually _growled_ , at the young dwarf, who was daring to interrupt his breakfast. Whether it was the growl from Bilbo or the look of disapproval from his uncle, Kíli immediately backed off and continued to eat his own meal. While they ate, Gandalf had a quiet conversation with Bilbo, first apologizing for marking up his door when he wasn't home, (Bilbo was still wondering how he missed the 'Visiting mum's family' sign that had been put out), and second to ask about his second form. The wizard had never seen the hobbit's original fairy form, with the little folk already in hiding by the time the Istari had come to the shores of Middle-Earth.

All too soon, breakfast was done, the dishes were washed and put away, leftover food packed up for the journey, (along with a few select ales and wine with Bilbo's permission), and the dwarves had repacked their backpacks and saddle bags at Thorin's insistence. At first they thought that he had gone round the bend, but Nori was the first one who caught on.

"You need to keep the essential items on you at all times, -a knife, some coin, long lasting food rations, and a water skin-, the things that you absolutely cannot _survive_ in the wild without." Nori said simply. "The extra boots, books, 'tools of the trade', etc., need to be left behind to make room for more food, medicine, rope, and other items that make traveling easier, but won't leave you devastate you if lost."

Ori left behind five small journals, and instead took two big ones that Bilbo had offered instead. Glóin had two pairs of boots and agreed to bring the sturdier pair. Dwalin had a whole hidden arsenal on him, (and Bilbo thought Fíli had been loaded), and parted with about half of it. Fíli left behind some extra knives, and Kíli parted with his extra arrow care kit. Bofur sadly left his ale mug, and Bombur said farewell to a couple of extra cooking pans. Thorin got rid of the extra daggers he had never used last lifetime. Bifur, Balin, Nori, and Óin hadn't needed to leave anything behind, having been around the way a few times to know what to bring and what to leave.

When the dwarves started contemplating leaving behind their oilskin cloaks, Bilbo quickly commented that there was a _reason_ that the Shire was lush and green so early in the spring, really not wanting to listen to anyone griping about the weather after Balin told the tale of Azanulbizar. An unspoken agreement that the oilskins were coming along prompted cries of horror from Fíli and Kíli, who realized that they had left theirs at home, before they were smacked in the face with them by Thorin.

"I think that's everything." Balin said as the last of their packs were situated on the dining room table. "Last check for anything that you think you forgot."

"Like this." Bilbo said as he put his small sewing kit into one of Thorin's saddlebag. "Just in case we get some torn trousers, or to add some hidden pockets in our clothes for extra coin."

There were a few mumbles, (and protests from Nori and Ori as Dori went through their packs again), but the general accord was they had everything they were going to need. It was then that Balin pulled out the new contracts that he and Ori had made last night and that morning for Bilbo, Hildifons, and Dáin. Bilbo's new contract was a good deal shorter than the last one, and he found the terms to be much more satisfying.

 _We, the Dwarves of Erebor and of Ered Luin, wish to offer our most sincere welcome to Master Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. This contract is to verify that Master Baggins has agreed to travel and perform a certain pre-determined task of his own free will, and was in no way, shape, or form in his deceived or tricked into doing so. Should Master Baggins sign this contract, he will officially be known as a member of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield._

 _The purpose of this quest is to scout the Lonely Mountain, Erebor, for the King's Jewel, as well as to see if the Dragon Smaug has passed on due to near sixty years of inactivity from the mountain. Master Baggins understands that there is a risk that the dragon is still alive, and may suffer bodily injury or death if the beast is confronted, (accidentally or on purpose). Master Baggins is not required to deal with any squatters (be they a dragon or any other creatures) that may reside within Erebor._

 _1\. Title and profession_

 _Master Baggins official title and profession for this quest is to be Burglar. Master Baggins will do his best to retrieve a certain jewel from within Erebor known as the Arkenstone. Upon obtaining the Arkenstone, Master Baggins will be released from his duties as a burglar, but is welcome to remain if he should so desire. Master Baggins does not need to assist with other official duties of other members of the company, (scrivener, scout, hunter, etc.), but is welcome to do so if he should so desire, and understands that he shall not be paid any extra money or traded goods unless previously negotiated._

 _2\. Compensation_

 _Master Baggins time and efforts shall be compensated by one fourteenth share of Erebor's treasure. If Master Baggins has no desire for any coin, jewels, or any other items within Erebor's halls, a new amount shall be negotiated, different items shall be found, be donated to a charity, or the fixing of Erebor and the surrounding lands. It is acknowledged that it may take several years for the true total of Master Baggins share to be calculated, and a notice shall be sent to him (if he has left) upon tally of the final profits._

 _3\. Travel Expenses_

 _All traveling expenses guaranteed in any event, this also includes the Return Journey. The Quest to Erebor will provide Master Baggins with one pony for transportation, but is requested that he provides his own clothes and coin for his own usage, (ale, pipeweed, room at an inn, etc.). Master Baggins will be provided with coin, food, and supplies to last three weeks into his return journey, and acknowledges that he shall have to provide food and coin after the first three weeks of his return travels by his own means._

 _4\. Funeral Arrangements_

 _In accordance with the customs of Master Baggins kin, and should death occur, a blanket made from plant fibers (cotton, grass, etc.) will be used for burial. Coffins are not customary for the hobbit-folk, and this shall be honored if Master Baggins passes on to Lady Yavanna's pastures._

 _5\. Meals_

 _Due to Master Baggins unique heritage and current transformation to his original hobbit-fairy form, it is acknowledged that he shall need small snacks throughout the day in order to remain healthy. This is a requirement, not on option. Should Master Baggins re-obtain his normal form, his shall have three meals a day with no required snacks like the rest of the company. Meals provided [or not] with due respect for availability, season, or any special dietary requirements not disclosed at the outset. All shall obtain an equal portion, no matter what size, at each meal interval._

 _6\. Disagreements within the Company_

 _Disputes arising between the Company shall be heard and judged by an arbitrator of the Company's choosing. All pleas and arguments shall be pleaded, defended, answered, debated, and judged in the Common Tongue, due to Master Baggins and his Uncle Hildifons Took (presumably) not knowing the Dwarven Tongue._

 _7\. Weaponry_

 _Weaponry shall be provided in the form of a man/elf sized dagger or a dwarven short sword for Master Baggins normal hobbit form. We are uncertain as to how to provide a weapon for his original hobbit-fairy form, so it will ultimately be up to Master Baggins to protect himself as long as he is in his original form. We recommend that Master Baggins asks his Uncle Hildifons Took if he knows any manner of weaponry or protection as a hobbit-fairy._

 _8\. Contract Termination_

 _This contract may terminate for certain reasons, (receiving word that a relative has passed on, homeland has fallen under attack and aid is needed, etc.) by Master Baggins or Thorin Oakenshield giving at minimum one to three [1-3] days' notice, depending on the event. 1 pony, 10 gold coins, and 1 week worth food shall be provided._

 _9\. Changes of contract_

 _This contract may not be modified or changed in any way except by a writing signed and agreed by Contractor Thorin, son of Thráin, Witness Balin, son of Fundin or Witness Ori, son of Thr_ _á_ _i, and Burglar Bilbo Baggins. Absolutely no changes can be made during a moment of drunkenness, anger, or outright spite/stupidness._

 _After reading and in complete understanding, this contract has been signed and agreed on by the following free folk of Middle-Earth…_

 _Employer: Thorin, son of Thráin_

 _Witnessed: Balin, son of Fundin, and Ori_ _, son of_ _Thrái_

 _Employee: Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo Baggins_

"There." Bilbo smiled as he finished signing his name, also leaving a couple of tiny inky footprints on the page as well.

"All settled." Hildifons agreed as he handed his and Dáin's contracts back to Balin, and then shrank himself back down to fairy size and hid in Dáin's bushy red hair.

Hildifons didn't want any hobbits to see him as they left and cause a ruckus that they really couldn't afford. Bilbo agreed, and hid himself in Thorin's shirt pocket. Everyone filed out of Bag End, Thorin being the last one out so he locked the door before hiding the key in the pot of Athelas/Kingsfoil, where Bilbo had told Otho and Lobelia to look for it. Gandalf was the first to mount his horse, and blushed as the sound of a fart filled the air. Bilbo couldn't help it, and he started to laugh.

"Like it?" Lobelia asked as she and Otho came up the path to say their good-byes.

"Love it!" Bilbo proclaimed between snickers. "The old Gassy Cushion prank."

"Classic!" Hildifons cackled as he wiped his eyes dry of his tears of laughter.

"Teach us!" Fíli and Kíli begged.

"Not a chance." Thorin stated as he mounted, and then groaned as the same noise emitted from under his saddle.

Bilbo couldn't stop laughing as the dwarves laughed at their king, each to stop as they mounted and made the same noises, prompting blushes from nearly all of them. Bofur and Nori grinned as they didn't mind the sounds, and Bifur kept looking around as he sat down, as if trying to figure out which one of them had such bad indigestion. Ori and Balin were the only ones smart enough to unsaddle their ponies and removed the Gassy Cushion from between the saddle and saddle blanket, prompting everyone to dismount and do the same.

"Stay safe cousin." Otho bade Bilbo farewell after the giggling finally stopped.

"I will." Bilbo nodded, still in Thorin's pocket. "Oh wait! Why did you and Lobelia come to my smial two days ago? Your original purpose?"

"To tell you that Otho ripped Camellia a new one." Lobelia grinned as Otho flushed.

"Yeah." Otho mumbled. "She kept ranting about how 'unnatural' it was for you to be living in Bag End all by yourself with no spouse when it was built to be a family home. I got tired of her subtle and not-so-subtle hints and jabs that I should claim Bag End after marrying Lobelia, and told her where she could stuff her opinions."

"Oh, the look on her face…" Lobelia trailed off with a sigh as a blissful look settled on her features.

"I'll bet." Bilbo snickered. "But how does this involve me?"

"It involved you because my mother is going to try to claim you as 'unfit for society', again, and get you to move to Tuckborough or the main Baggins smials where you can be 'kept an eye on', and have Bag End be reverted to father's care." Otho explained with a sigh. "After hearing her rant about the same thing over and over again for the past two decades, it gets really old."

"Well, Bag End can't be reverted to Uncle Longo's care." Bilbo shrugged "My will clearly states that if anything should happen to me, be death or removal from society, Bag End will be inherited by cousin Drogo. You, Otho, will get the shares of the Old Toby and Longbottom leaf pipeweed production that I have. Aunt Camellia is going to get my mother's silver spoons."

"But your mother loved those spoons." Lobelia protested.

"Yes, but my will specifically states that: ' _Camellia Sackville-Baggins will receive the silver spoon collection that once belonged to Belladonna Baggins née Took. Just the spoons, nothing else_ '." Bilbo shrugged. "Cousin Fortinbras has my will and will see it executed if I haven't communicated in any way, shape, or form, for three years."

Thorin chuckled at how sneaky his little hobbit-fairy was being. Bag End was a beautiful hobbit smial, and it would thrive wonderfully under the care of someone who wasn't a conniving shrew.

"Sneaky." Otho chuckled. "And to tell you that I purchased the old cotton mill and surrounding land on the other side of Hobbiton with my saved-for-the-last-eight-years 'allowance'. I'm going to build a smial for Lobelia and I to live in after we get married, like what your father did for your mother."

"Aw." Bilbo cooed, and giggled at their blushing. "That's so sweet."

"Otho!" Camellia Sackville-Baggins yelled as she marched up Bagshot Row, gathering the attention of all the hobbits that lived there, and prompting Bilbo to duck down into Thorin's pocket so he wouldn't be seen. "What on earth are you doing with those dwarves? They're dangerous!"

"Actually, they're very funny." Otho 'corrected' his mother with a grin. "They _love_ pranks."

"Gassy Cushion especially." Lobelia added with her own giggles.

Camellia turned a shade of red that made several of the dwarves feel like turning around and running back to the Blue Mountains as fast as their legs can carry them. Otho saw this as well, and cut his mother off before she could begin ranting again.

"Cousin Bilbo has officially submitted his will with the Thain, mother." Otho stated firmly. "Cousin Drogo is to inherit Bag End. I am to inherit his shares of pipeweed production."

"That is unjust!" Camellia screeched. "You are the next male Baggins! Bag End is yours by right!"

"Bag End was built by Bungo Baggins as a wedding gift to Belladonna Took." Fortinbras said as he came up the path, surprising the dwarves, hobbit, and wizard. "By law, should anything happen to my cousin, it will fall under the care of the head of my sister's family, which is me. Since Bilbo declared that Drogo will inherit Bag End, I would merely be the steward of Bag End until he comes of age."

There was no way that Camellia would be able to get out of this one. She had originally intended to gather witnesses along Bagshot Row to be able to get enough support so she could go to the Mayor and run her nephew out of Hobbiton, leaving Bag End in her husband's care. But the tables had been turned by the arrival of the Thain, and his word was law in matters such as these. Turning her nose up into the air, Camellia left while she still had a shred of 'dignity' remaining. Of course, her definition of dignity was different from the ones of those around her…

So… she had no dignity remaining whatsoever.

"Well, that took care of her." Fortinbras commented and turned back to Thorin. "You take care of my sister's-son, or you'll find out exactly why the goblins rightfully fear my Great-Great-Great Uncle Bandobras Took."

"You have my word." Thorin nodded his head once, while Bilbo groaned as he stuck his head out of Thorin's pocket.

"Oh, stop being so theatrical you two." Bilbo scolded, and then ducked back down to avoid being seen.

Hildifons and Thorin chuckled. Apparently Bilbo was a full grown and independent gentlehobbit who didn't need to be cared for. Too bad they planned to watch out for him anyway.

"And Hildifons, Mirabella is annoyed that you missed her last birthday party." Fortinbras added to the surprise off all, especially Bilbo, who thought that everyone believed his uncle to be dead.

"Considering that she stuffed live fish down my pants last time when Dáin and I were drunk, I decided that I didn't want a repeat, or worse." Hildifons poked his head out of Dáin's hair to defend himself, and then retreated.

All of the dwarves began to chuckle at Hildifons' statement. Balin found he was agreeing with Thorin's previous assessment of the females of the Shire. They had the temperament of Dís, Thorin's sister and the mother of Fíli and Kíli. You just do _not_ tell the youngest child of Thráin, and his only daughter, what she could and could not do… it never ended prettily.

"Farewell to you all, and best of luck." Fortinbras bade them farewell, and walked away with plans to send some grain and other produce to the Blue Mountains with their warriors and hunter were away.

"Take care." Otho added.

"And stay out of trouble." Lobelia finished with a pointed look at Dwalin, who was suddenly interested in the puffy white clouds dotting the blue sky.

"Aye ma'am." Thorin nodded with a smile. "We shall endeavor to remain free of danger to the best of our abilities."

Lobelia smiled back at Thorin before she gave a very un-ladylike snort. She walked away, shaking her head and giggling, like she didn't believe Thorin for one moment. The grin on Otho's face before he followed his fiancée told Thorin that he agreed with the she-hobbit. They wouldn't be able to avoid messy predicaments like a Took couldn't resist plucking produce from Farmer Maggot's fields.

"Can we go now?" Bilbo asked somewhat grumpily.

Thorin laughed at that comment, but spurred Bungo into a brisk walk. Gandalf lead the way out of the Shire since he knew the lands better than most. The remaining dwarves organized themselves in a single file line, laughing as coin was tossed from dwarf to dwarf as they won and lost bets about their new burglar actually coming along with them. Thorin had remained out of that betting since he had the unfair advantage of knowing that Bilbo would be coming with them. But it was nice to see them all "getting along" and "playing nicely" with each other,

"I said that he would be _late_ coming, not that he wouldn't come at all, so I get half of my winnings!"

… Lovely.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo and Hildifons remained hidden as they traveled through the Shire, only coming out after dusk unless they needed to _go_. Despite Ori's desire to sketch them and ask questions about hobbits, he had to wait for five days, until they were a good five miles passed Bree. Once they were passed that area, Bilbo and Hildifons immediately jumped out of hiding and began to fly around, relieved that they could finally stretch and not be cooped up until after dark. The ponies were startled, but quickly got use to see the two hobbit-fairies going about.

Bilbo's favorite area to perch quickly became between Bungo's or Myrtle's ears. Since Bilbo wasn't his normal size, Myrtle was simply being used as a pack pony, with Dáin ridding the one he had brought from the Iron Hills. Thorin liked to watch Bilbo perched between Bungo's ears, and listen to him giggle when Bungo tossed his head to get some scratches from tiny hands.

Every evening, Hildifons would attempt to help Bilbo regain his normal hobbit form. So far, there was no luck, but that was fine with Bilbo. It made him drowsy and gave him an excuse to stumble over to Thorin and fall asleep in his lap or on his chest. Thorin didn't mind either, and got the feeling that Hildifons did it on purpose.

Dwalin didn't know what to make of Bilbo and Hildifons. They were small and cute, but could also easily lift them up and dump them in a tree faster than he could say 'knife', -cough- _Fíli_ - _and_ - _Kíli_ -cough-. Balin enjoyed talking history with the two, and rolled his eyes when the two hobbit-fairies would prank someone during the relaxing evening hours. Óin liked that they could grow medicinal plants at a quick rate, while Glóin simply told them about his wife and son… five times a day… for three hours… without stop…

Dori was still convinced that the two hobbit-fairies were under some sort of spell and that it simply wasn't natural. Bilbo knew nothing but time would convince him they weren't going to hurt him or his brothers, so simply left him be except to bring some chamomile tea in the evenings. Ori could only speak with Bilbo if the hobbit-fairy came to him while they were riding, so that is what Bilbo did. Being the scholarly mind that he was, Ori grilled him for any and all information known about hobbits, original fairy sized and normal hobbit sized. Bilbo would perch on Ori's shoulders or between the ears of his pony, (whom he named Marigold), as he answered the curious dwarf's questions.

Nori enjoyed playing pranks with the two, but would find some things he had nicked off of other members of the company missing or returned to their owners by Bilbo before he could flaunt them. He also found it frustrating that he couldn't get the bag of money off of Thorin's belt, Thorin always seeming to know when he was going to try and just gave an amused look while pushing his hand aside. If he really wanted a challenge, he would have gone for the bag in Thorin's left boot, but a quirk of the eyebrows from the royal dwarf made him decide to try at a later date.

Bifur surprised Bilbo one night when he set down a life sized wood carving of the hobbit-fairy, while the real one was eating supper. Bilbo cooed in delight as he looked it over, much to the amusement of many members of the company, but they found it heartwarming as well. Bofur was the one that Bilbo spoke riddles with, as well as songs and embarrassing jokes, much to Dori's displeasure. Bombur was often surprised when Bilbo or Hildifons, sometimes both, would come over with some wild herbs to add to dinner. He quickly got used to it because it made the meals taste better, and they would get into some pretty heated 'arguments' about the best way to cook certain foods.

When Bilbo wasn't pranking someone with Nori, he would be pranking someone with Fíli and Kíli. The two young dwarves loved looking at Bilbo and his wings. They also enjoyed his impish personality, save for when he directed it at them. There was a good reason that you didn't make jokes about his height or eating habits, you found yourself waking up in an _interesting_ position with Dwalin or Dori in the morning. Dáin found that he liked Bilbo as well, simply because he was like his Uncle Hildifons in several ways, and because he was able to wrangle Thorin into behaving himself.

Before Bilbo knew it, three weeks had gone by since they had left Bag End. Currently, he was curled up on Thorin's chest with his fingers stuffed in his ears since Bombur decided that he was going to snore the night away. Snore _louder_ Bombur, I don't think they've heard you down in Gondor yet. At Thorin's stifled chuckles, Bilbo realized that he had been mumbling under his breath. Thankfully, the dwarf king was the only one who had heard him. Well, based on the shaking wings, Hildifons had heard his nephew as well. With a groan, Bilbo pushed himself off of Thorin's chest and flew over to Myrtle with an apple, setting it on a tree branch so she could reach and he wouldn't risk getting chomped with her teeth on accident.

"There you go Myrtle." Bilbo whispered as she munched on the apple. "There's our little secret. Don't tell anyone now, so shh-shh-shh."

Myrtle finished off her apple and nuzzled Bilbo. The action had him leaning over her muzzle, so he giggled and rubbed the soft skin above her nostrils. A hair-raising screech in the distance made Bilbo freeze, his wings shot straight up and stiffened as old memories slammed to the front of his mind. A whimper escaped his throat as the memories of orcs in Bag End attack him and his parents, of Goblin Town and the cliff-face after, and the Battle of Five Armies vied for his attention.

Oh, how he hated the memories of Fíli getting stabbed by Azog at Ravenhill, of Thorin dying after his battle and execution of the piece of scum, and then later finding out from Tauriel that Kíli had been killed by Bolg, despite her efforts otherwise. Large hands gently picked him off of the tree, and Bilbo snuggled into Thorin, shivering as he tried to keep the memories from overwhelming him.

"What was that?" Ori asked.

"Orcs." Thorin answered solemnly. "The vilest pieces of filth to walk the land."

"Aside from goblins." Hildifons added just as serious.

Ori gulped, and for once didn't protest when Dori checked on him. Nori was alternating between watching his brother and Bilbo, while pondering how fast Thorin had gotten over to the small hobbit-fairy. After the first orc screech the royal dwarf was moving, and had picked up his pace after Bilbo whimpered. The two were definitely close, but _how_ close was yet to be determined.

"The lone-lands are crawling with them." Fíli said while he puffed his pipe.

"Uncle says that they strike in the wee hours when everyone is asleep." Kíli added, a bit hesitant though, as if he was uncertain. "Quick and quiet. No screams, just lots of blood."

"Well, he's mostly right." Bilbo piped up, but it was easy to tell he was still shaken. "Orcs are quiet when they sneak up on you. You're most likely to smell them first. But in the actual attack there are plenty of screams. The attacks are never quiet."

"A night raid by orcs is no joke." Thorin finished seriously.

Bilbo knew that Thorin was thinking about the Battle of Azanulbizar, and all that he had lost in that battle. His grandfather, Thrór, and his younger brother, Frerin, who had been only 48 years old, had both been killed, and his father lost his mind with grief before vanishing in the battle. Thráin had ultimately killed by Sauron in Dol Guldur, with the Dark Lord claiming the last of the seven dwarven rings as his own again.

"Don't mind him lads." Balin said as he walked over to by the princes. "Thorin has more cause then most to hate orcs."

Bilbo curled up close to Thorin, knowing the story that was coming would be hard for Thorin to hear. Clinging to the warg-skinned sleeveless coat Thorin wore, Bilbo just settled to listen as Thorin's hands held him close. They both would need comfort from the tale about to be told.

"After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thrór tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Khazâd-Dum, or as it is more commonly known, Moria." Balin recounted the story, sighing as the memories of the battle came up. "But our enemy had gotten there first."

 _Several thousand dwarves fought on the slopes of_ _Khazâd-Dum against at least ten thousand orcs. Many of each had already fallen, and many more would fall. King Thrór, Crown Prince Thráin, Prince Thorin, and Prince Frerin were leading the charge to drive the orcs back, but all were near exhausted. The fighting style from the dwarves was now a just swing with your sword, block with your shield, and pray to Mahal that somehow you survive this battle, this bloodbath._

 _The orcs had numbers on their side, but their fighting methods were a sloppy, hence why the dwarves had a small bit of hope they would survive._ _Not long after, Frerin fell protecting Thorin from an attack to his unguarded back, never to stand again. Thorin had blamed himself for his brother's death every day since._

"Moria had been taken by legions of orcs, led by the most vile of their entire race: Azog the Defiler."

 _Azog was a very large, bone-white pale orc, as tall as a man, if not taller, and far more bulky. Azog also had piercing blue eyes and smoother skin, with deep, tattoo-like incisions covering his face and torso. He arguably looked less barbaric than other orcs, but by no means was he actually less barbaric than his weaker 'kinfolk'._

 _In fact, he was much worse._

 _Azog was iron-fisted, pitiless, cynical, bitter, malicious, arrogant, merciless, cunning, ferocious, very, very ruthless, extremely sadistic, vengeful, a megalomaniacal psychopath, extremely hot-tempered, elitist, highly intelligent, vindictive, highly idealistic, callous, a tenacious leader of the Warg cavalry of his battalion, and unfailingly loyal to Sauron. He was also an incredibly proficiently skilled warrior with a brutal fighting style that included keeping his distance from his opponent and using psychological warfare to anger his enemy._

 _Azog grunted as he and Thrór made eye contact on the battle field. The two fought, the king's sword and shield verses the orc's mace. Only one would stand the victor._

"The giant Gundabad orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began… by beheading the king."

 _Azog roared in triumph as he held up the head of Thrór. Thorin turned with wide eyes at the sound of the roar, fearing the worst. And it was the worst. Azog sneered as he tossed Thrór's head towards the dwarf prince, not caring about any reaction he would get except the one that would engage the royal line of Durin's into battle._

 _Thorin watched in horror as the decapitated head bounced towards him. Realization set in. His grandfather was dead._

 _"NO!" Thorin screamed._

"Thráin, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing."

 _Many of the dwarves had turned at Thorin's anguished cry, and saw the decapitated head of their king. They began to lose hope. It was then that Thráin hacked his way through the orcs to the side of his remaining son, who had wanted to charge at Azog for what he had done to his family._

 _"Father." Thorin gasped for breath as he was held back._

 _"Stay back." Thráin ordered._

 _"No!" Thorin shook his head. "I will fight with you."_

 _"Azog means to kill us all." Thráin stated plainly, making Thorin glanced at the pale orc again, but he didn't move to engage the filth. "But by my blood, he shall not destroy the line of Durin. But by my life, he shall not take both of my sons from me. Now stay here!"_

 _Thorin could only watch as Thráin ran to challenge Azog, not knowing that it was to be the last time he would ever see his father. Thráin's his giant hammer smacked orc after orc down before he reached Azog, the two tangling briefly. Thráin was knocked to the ground, and his hammer from his hand. Breathless and tired from the battle, Thráin tried to grab his hammer again, but his hand was pinned down by Azog's foot as the orc laughed at his agony._

 _Azog's eyes were on Thráin's index finger, and the dwarf ring that had been given to the line of Durin many years ago. The pale orc's master wanted that ring back, and Azog served only him. Drawing the dagger from his belt, Azog cut the finger and the ring from the dwarf, relishing the screams of pain. The orcs swarmed again, and Thráin vanished from sight. When their numbers diminished again, Thráin was nowhere to be found._

"Whether he was taken prisoner or killed, we do not know. We were leaderless. Defeat… and death, were upon us."

 _The other soldiers now despaired. Prince Frerin and King Thrór had been killed, and no one knew what had happened to Crown Prince Thráin. More and more orcs streamed out of Moria, and pushed the dwarves off cliff edges or stabbed them with their swords._

 _The end was close for Durin's folk._

"And that is when I saw him. A young dwarf prince, facing down the pale orc."

 _Thorin snapped out of the shock of losing all of his immediate family but his younger sister, who had not been permitted to fight, when he realized that Azog was coming for him, swinging that mace. With a growl, Thorin vowed that he would not lose his head, or his life, in this next fight. He had to win, for the sake of those he had already lost, and couldn't possibly loose._

 _There was too much at stake._

"He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armor rent… "

 _Azog swung his mace in a wide circle, knocking off Thorin's shield. As Thorin recovered from the loss, the next swing knocked his sword out of his grip, and him off the rock he was standing on. Tumbling down, Thorin struggled to move so he could protect himself against Azog. The orc leapt at him, and Thorin made a desperate grab at a large petrified branch of wood that was larger than his forearm, praying that it would be strong enough to protect him from the mace._

"…wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield."

 _Thorin gasped as blow after blow rained down on him. He was already weak from the never ending fight, and Azog's blows drained him of even more of his strength. One blow sent him to his back, leaving him weak and dazed. A bellow from Dáin, who had found Thráin's hammer, had Azog's attention divided. For a moment, Dáin held Azog's attention… He lost his lower left leg to the scum in that moment._

 _Azog turned back to Thorin, who was still struggling. Did he kill the red head now, (was he even of the royal like of Durin?), or later? As Thorin pushed himself up, Azog made the choice to leave Dáin and went for Thorin. The choice cost him as Dáin's new hammer struck him in the back of his leg, giving Thorin the time he needed to grab the hilt of a fallen sword._

 _Standing back up with a cry, Thorin swung the sword upward and cut off the left forearm of Azog the Defiler._ _Azog screamed in pain as he clutched the stump that was once his lower arm. Thorin stumbled back, keeping himself between his cousin and the Gundabad orc, and feeling a bit elated that he had survived and wounded the filth. Perhaps they would survive after all._

"Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken."

 _Several orcs pulled the injured Azog away from Thorin and back into Moria. Anger filled Thorin. The Defiler had killed his younger brother, his grandfather, quite possibly his father, had nearly killed Dáin, had killed Náin, -Dáin's father- and didn't even have the guts to stay and fight. Azog allowed himself to be pulled away so he could die a more slow and painful death by bleeding out of his new stump._

 _"Baruk Khazâd! (Axes of the Dwarves!) Du bekàr! (To arms!)" Thorin called to his kinfolk._

 _And the dwarves answered his call. With a loud roar, the dwarves charged the orc ranks. With Dwalin and Balin by his side, Thorin killed one foul creature after another, still using the oaken branch as his shield while making sure his cousins, no matter how distantly related, were safe as well. Dáin he knew was safe, having seen his cousin being taken off of the battlefield and to the safety of the plains._

"Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast… nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief."

 _Thorin slowly looked at the carnage around him. They had slain nearly all the orcs, but most of their numbers had been killed as well. Thráin was still missing, not seen among with slain bodies, but not among the living either. Balin, Dwalin, and Dáin had survived, but Thrór, Frerin, and Náin had all been lost. As royalty, their bodies would be taken back to Dunland to be buried, but the rest of their unfortunate kin would have no tomb._

 _They had neither the time nor the resources to bury the fallen before the vultures and wolves came. Khazâd-Dum was an option, but they lacked the strength to reclaim their ancient dwarven home and any tombs they made in there would be disgraced by the orcs. There was also the threat of Durin's Bane still dwelling in the mines, so Thorin would not risk it. With a heavy heart Thorin gave the order to pile their kin's bodies, and burn them._

"We few had survived…"

 _Balin and Dwalin found each other amongst the carnage, by the body of their father, and gently tapped foreheads. Their father had not been as lucky as the brother's, and Fundin had passed on with so many others of their kinfolk. Tears flowed down Balin's face in abundance at the loss. So many would mourn for a father, grandfather, brother, cousin, or an uncle._

 _Yet amidst the sadness and strife, one figure stood strong. At 53 years old, he was still considered a tween, but he had earned the respect of all who had survived the battle. Thorin, though covered in orc guts and blood and still holding to his petrified oaken branch and sword, was every bit of the prince he was and the king that he would one day be._

"Amongst the death and ruin, Thorin stood strong as he surveyed the damage and got the survivors to safety." Balin finished his story. "And I thought to myself then, ' _There is one I could follow. There is one… I could call king_ _'._ "

During Balin's tale, all of the dwarves had awoken from their slumber, even Bombur, and were now looking at Thorin with a look akin to awe, or an even higher respect then they had before. All knew that Thorin had played a role in the Battle of Azanulbizar, but it had been somewhat downplayed because of Thorin's youth and had remained that way even after he became of age 17 years after the battle. To hear the true tale of what had happened was… astounding.

Thorin turned from where he had been looking out at the sky to the company, Bilbo still in his hands, and took in their expression with a nod before walking back to where he had been sitting. Settling back down, Bilbo still remained curled up in his hands, not willing to let Thorin brood about what had happened so long ago.

"What happened to the pale orc?" Ori asked.

"We believe that filth died of its wounds long ago." Thorin replied. "But because there never was a body, we cannot be certain."

"How long do orcs live?" Bilbo asked suddenly.

"Before or after you stick the buggers with a knife?" Dáin asked.

That comment got some weak chuckles, but it did break some of the tension.

"Why?" Thorin asked.

"Well, I know that you are 185 years old now, and were 53 at the battle." Bilbo explained. "So if he is still alive, he's over 132 years old."

Thorin's eyes went wide. He had never thought about how old Azog was. Damn, that was old, unless orcs aged like dwarves. Then there would be issues.

"The longest lived orc that I have come across to die a natural death was 156." Gandalf injected.

"So he's like a grandfather in terms of old age." Bilbo translated.

"Basically… maybe." Gandalf agreed.

"Let's get some rest." Thorin instructed as he moved himself from his rock seat to his bedroll. "We'll have a long day of riding tomorrow."

Bilbo nodded and remained curled up on Thorin's chest, the dwarf adding his handkerchief as a blanket. It wasn't until Bilbo glared at him an hour later for not sleeping that Thorin realized he didn't think having a hobbit-fairy on his chest threw that well. They were insistent little creatures, and the one on him was insisting that he sleep. Once Thorin closed his eyes, sleep claimed him faster than he could blink.

-0-0-0-0-0-

*A Gassy Cushion: A Whoopee Cushion.

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 _Timeline_

April 28th, year 2931: Depart Bag End, and Bilbo and Hildifons hide while traveling to avoid causing panic amongst the hobbits.

May 3rd, year 2931: Pass Bree, Bilbo and Hildifons no longer have to hide while traveling.

May 19th, year 2931: The wargs howl, and Balin tells the story of Azanulbizar (3 weeks after departure from Bag End).

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Just to clear any confusion, Thráin is dead. **-Spoiler Alert for those who haven't seen The Desolation of Smaug: Extended Edition-** He is not still alive in Dol Guldur. **-End of Spoiler Alert-** He died a few months after Gandalf found, rescued, and left him in the care of Radagast. He was buried in a cave not far from Radagast's home in Mirkwood.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Bilbo groaned -again- as he glared at the gray sky that was dumping buckets of rain on them. Roughly one week later, the company had woken up to getting rained on. So they had been getting drenched for the last 4 days, and had another 3 to go. Thorin had tied his hair back into a ponytail so Bilbo could curl up on his shoulder and remain out of the rain without any of his kin throwing any hissy fits.

Bofur had been insistent on smoking his pipe for whatever reason, but it never remained lit, despite his constant checking and re-lighting. All of them were feeling weary… and wet. Only Bilbo and Thorin knew when the rain was going to end, but they couldn't share it with anyone else… a depressing thought, for some weird reason

"Here, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori called to the wizard, tired of having his braids so waterlogged.

"It is raining Master Dori." Gandalf called back, a bit irritated. "And it shall continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world you should find yourself another wizard."

Dori heaved a sigh as he glared up at the clouds. Bilbo felt a smirk rise to his lips. It wasn't too often that one got to tease Gandalf, so why pass up the opportunity?

"Are there any?" Bilbo yelled, leaning forward so he didn't render Thorin deaf in one ear.

"Any what?" Gandalf asked back.

"Other wizards." Bilbo elaborated.

"There are five of us." Gandalf replied more pleasantly, as if happy to explain his fellow Istari. "The greatest of our order is Saruman the White."

"The Betrayer, you mean." Thorin growled under his breath.

Bilbo patted Thorin's cheek. Both of them were sore about how much hassle Saruman had put Frodo and the Fellowship threw by deciding to follow Sauron instead. It had been a sharp blow to Thorin because Saruman had studied under Mahal while the Maia dwelled in the Undying Lands. Many of dwarves in Mahal's Halls had wept at their maker's craft being used for such evil, and cheered when the Ents plus Merry and Pippin had torn in all down.

"Then there are the two blue wizards…" Gandalf continued, oblivious to the grumbles behind him. "Oh, I just realized that I've quite forgotten their names…"

"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo prompted.

"That would be Radagast, the Brown." Gandalf said.

Thorin knew he owed Radagast a great deal, not only for distracting the wargs after the troll incident, but for caring for his ailing father when Gandalf had rescued him from Dol Guldur roughly two years ago. Thráin hadn't been identified until a year ago, during his last few days. Thráin suddenly cheered for Thorin, telling him to get Azog and to get the blighter's other arm, the other arm. By the time Radagast got word to Gandalf, Thráin had died, and was buried in a cave not far from Radagast's home. Gandalf hadn't had the heart to tell Thorin his father had passed when they met in Bree.

"Is he a great wizard?" Bilbo smirked, feeling Thorin's shoulders shaking as he tried to keep down his laughter. "Or is he more like you?"

Multiple chuckles and snorts disguised as coughs came from behind him, making Bilbo grin as he giggled at the put out look on Gandalf's face. Thorin didn't even bother to hide his chuckles as he shook his head. Gandalf looked over his shoulder to glare at Bilbo, but it wasn't as effective as it normally would have been due to the look of waterlogged wizard.

"I think he's a very great wizard." Gandalf replied, a bit defensive. "In his own way."

"And that means he's crazy." Thorin translated softly, making Bilbo snort and press his face into Thorin's shoulder in an attempt to muffle his laughter.

"He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others." Gandalf continued, deciding to ignore any further side comments. "He keeps a watchful eye on the forests to the east. And a good thing to, for evil will always try to find a foothold in this world."

"Will the evil always trying to find a foothold this world prevent us from using that as a shelter?" Hildifons asked as he pointed from his hiding spot on Dáin, who was riding behind Thorin.

All heads turned to where Hildifons was pointing, and saw a small shelter/house several yards into the woods. There was no light in the windows or smoke coming from the chimney. All eyes went to Thorin, begging to let him say 'Yes, let's get out of this rain'. Thorin desperately wanted to say it, but refrained to ere on the side of caution.

"Bofur, Nori, scout the surrounding area and look for fields or anything that would indicate this is someone's home." Thorin instructed. "Dwalin, Dori, check the inside and make sure that is unoccupied. We don't want any nasty surprises."

The four named dwarves were off of their ponies and going about their assigned duties faster than you could say "Aye, Thorin". Bilbo rolled his eyes and flew to the doorframe of the cabin, shivering at the cold rain. Once there, and once Gandalf had reached the door, Bilbo got the wizards attention.

"Gandalf, what does this symbol mean?" Bilbo asked, pointing to an elvish symbol that had been carved into the doorframe, even though he knew what it meant.

"Travelers welcome." Gandalf translated. "This is one of the way-houses that the rangers use during their travels. Blankets and firewood will be inside. It is asked that we replenish the supply of wood that we use while we're here."

"Reasonable." Thorin agreed.

Dwalin and Dori came back out, nodding the all clear. Nori and Bofur came back from the forest as they were heading in, Bofur carrying a rock the size of Bombur's soup pot. Bilbo blinked at his owlishly, trying to figure out why on earth Bofur would want to lug something that size, and most likely very heavy, around. He knew that Myrtle would pitch a fit if Bofur tried to strap it on her saddle. Bofur glanced up and smiled at Bilbo's confused expression.

"Just going to add our symbol to leave by the door as well." Bofur explain as he hunkered down and took out his mattock. "Our kin should know that this is a rest area. Would have saved me some trouble finding a camping area in the past if I had known about this place."

Oh, that made sense. Meanwhile, Glóin had gotten a fire going, making everyone sigh in relief as heat flooded into the room. Dwarves, being dwarves, stripped down to their small clothes without a stitch of shame… even Ori, though he was quickly wrapped up in a dry blanket by Dori. Thorin opened his pack to take out some dry clothes for Bilbo to change into, but to his dismay, they had gotten soaked when he had taken off his cloak and wet clothes. His handkerchief was drenched as well.

"Here." Ori gave Thorin a clean and dry knitted sock. "Bilbo can use this until his clothes dry."

Okay… odd, but efficient. Bilbo stripped out of his clothes and wiggled into the dark blue sock, where it was warm and dry. Bilbo blinked as he looked up at Thorin, who smiled at how cute Bilbo was making himself. Wide eye and curly haired, Bilbo's wings shook water off them before Bilbo curled up into the sock, and then stretched out on the side table near the fire he had been placed on.

Fíli and Kíli were arguing about who got to where which articles of dry clothing, since some of each of their spare clothes had gotten wet. Balin was working the water out of his long white beard, and Dwalin was just watching everything impassively as he always did. Glóin was prattling to no one in particular about his son and wife, (for the eight time that day), and Óin was drying off his ear trumpet. Bifur was whittling away at his latest creation, not caring that wood shavings were getting into some very unmentionable areas, while Bombur was attempting to make something for dinner.

Hildifons was curled up in one of Dáin's dry sock, having gotten the idea from Ori, and Dáin was mumbling something about bossy little hobbits as he tugged on a dry shirt. Dori spent his time between fussing over Ori and Nori, who glared and brushed Dori off every time he got close. Nori had placed himself next to Bofur, who was busy carving a Khuzdul word into the stone he had brought inside. Ori had situated himself next to the table Bilbo was on so he could ask the hobbit-fairy some more questions, which was also the closest spot to the fire so Dori couldn't really protest his location.

"I just realized that I forgot an important question about hobbits." Ori explained. "How long does your race live for?"

"Normal hobbits live for an average of 100 years, some have lived up to 30 years more, and we come of age when they are 33." Bilbo replied, enjoying the shocked look on many members of the company. "I'm not sure if our life is extended in our original form, having no written record of it. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't."

"And how old are you?" Ori asked with a glance at Bilbo while writing furiously in his journal.

"40, last September." Bilbo hummed.

As predicted, the company exploded, all in the mindset that Bilbo was underaged because he aged like a dwarf, despite him just saying otherwise. Thorin rolled his eyes at his kin's reactions. It was ridiculous. Dáin snickered as Bilbo pulled the sock over his head, leaving only his hands and the tips of his wings sticking out, and Hildifons shook his head as well before giving a sharp whistle that made everyone cover their ears.

"Now that I have your attention, let me remind you that hobbits come of age at age 33, and my nephew is 40." Hildifons began to re-explain hobbit aging to them, gently and slowly, as if they were little children. "He would be considered to be around age 100 by dwarven standards, roughly age 28 by men's standards."

"How about you?" Ori asked as Bilbo popped his head out of the top of the sock.

"I'm 87 years old." Hildifons hummed as he thought about how old that would make him. "I'd be about… 217 years old as a dwarf, and around 61 as a man. Though I've noticed that my aging has slowed down a touch. I'm physically closer to age 60 than age 87. I don't know if it's because my _Anima Gemella_ (Soul Mate) is a dwarf, or if it happens to all hobbit-fairies."

Bilbo yawned. While all of this was interesting, he was too tired to care right now. He just wanted to go to bed. Thorin had seen the yawn and Bilbo's droopy wings, indicating his sleepiness. He found his small pouch of dried grapes and placed them next to the hobbit fairy. Bilbo rolled his head to look at Thorin with lethargic eyes.

"Eat first." Thorin whispered. "Then get some sleep."

Bilbo hummed, not really paying attention to the conversation anymore. He managed to eat four of the dried grapes before curling up in the sock and falling asleep. There was still a lull of conversation, but that just helped the hobbit-fairy fall asleep quicker.

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On June 18th, 7 weeks and 2 days since the start of their journey, the company came upon the ruined farmhouse, the Trollshaws. Bilbo sighed as he recalled the small family who lived here, all of whom fell to the trolls about two weeks ago. Thorin halted his pony and turned to the rest of the company.

"We will camp here for the night." Thorin ordered. "Fíli, Kíli, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them. Óin, Glóin, get a fire going."

While neither Bilbo nor Thorin actually desired to stay here, someone had to take care of the trolls before they preyed on other travelers, and they were the ones who knew how to do it. Plus, they both wanted _Orcrist_ and _Sting_ back. And Bilbo knew how important it was for Gandalf to have _Glamdring_ , having felled the Balrog known as Durin's Bane in Khazâd-Dum with it so many years later.

Bilbo flittered off of Myrtle and settled next to his uncle on Dáin's pony, not interested in the conversation he knew that Gandalf and Thorin were going to have. Gandalf would be insistent that they go to Rivendell, while Thorin would be grumpy and sullen about the idea, playing on his dislike of the kin of Thranduil that lived west of the Misty Mountains. Not too long after, Gandalf growled and walked out of the ruined farmhouse, infuriated at Thorin's stubbornness. He didn't understand why Thorin couldn't see the difference between Elrond and Thranduil, not realizing that he had been tricked by the dwarf.

"Gandalf, where are you going?" Bilbo asked as Gandalf stalked by, knowing that he sounded like his father when his mother had stormed off in a huff for whatever reason.

"To seek the one of this company with any sense left." Gandalf replied a bit grouchily.

"And who is that?" Bilbo prompted.

" _Myself_ , Master Baggins." Gandalf snapped back. "I've had enough of dwarves for one day."

"Well I'm insulted." Bilbo huffed, and Hildifons looked at him with empathy before shooting a glare at Gandalf's back as he rode away.

"Come on Bombur, we're hungry." Thorin called.

"Where do you think he's going?" Ori asked. "Will he come back?"

"He'll be back eventually." Bilbo sighed. "Wizards always do come back. And I can only guess where he's going."

Of course, Bilbo knew he was going to Rivendell. Lord Elrond had admitted to him last lifetime that Gandalf had ridden in the night before their arrival, trying to get Elrond to meet with Thorin out on the plains. But the elf would hear none of it and had sent the gray wizard on his way with a caution to stop meddling so much.

Naturally, Gandalf didn't listen.

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Night soon fell, and as the darkness grew, so did Bilbo's anxiousness. Very soon the trolls would steal the ponies, but this time his uncle would play his role of soup to the lads and 'discovering' the trolls. This had all been pre-arranged a week prior to this, but Bilbo still had butterflies in his stomach.

"He's been gone a while." Hildifons noted, stretching in his normal form.

"Who?" Bofur asked absent mindedly.

"Gandalf." Bilbo elaborated from where he was watching Ori knit up a storm to calm his nerves.

"He's a wizard, comes and goes as he pleases." Bofur dismissed before passing the bowls of soup to Hildifons. "Could you take those to the lads? They should be on pony-sitting duty."

Hildifons nodded and walked out of the camp, Bilbo following his uncle. Thorin watched the two warily. There were so many things that could go wrong this evening, but there was nothing to be done about it except for try to avoid getting stuffed in sacks. Which should be easier to do since Bilbo was to small and quick to be caught by a stupid troll, and Hildifons had Dáin as his teacher in the art of weapons and self-defense.

"It's not a bad stew Bombur." Glóin commented as Hildifons and Bilbo left. "I've had worse."

"Dori could have cooked it!" Nori added, making everyone else laugh.

"Hilarious." Dori sneered at his brother.

Bilbo rolled his eyes at the antics as he flew after his uncle. Fíli and Kíli were bound to be hungry, but they would get no food or sleep tonight thanks to what they were about to go through with the trolls. It didn't take long for them to reach Fíli and Kíli, who were staring at the ponies with stiff backs and twitching fingers.

"What happened?" Hildifons asked with a sigh.

"We're supposed to be watching the ponies." Kíli answered.

"But we've encountered a slight problem." Fíli continued. "We had seventeen."

"Now there's only fifteen." Kíli finished.

Bilbo sighed and flew over the ponies, who calmly watched as the fairy slipped past them in the semi-darkness. And just as he suspected…

"Daisy and Bungo are missing." Bilbo confirmed when he got back. "And I suspect that whatever large creature that knocked over that several hundred year old tree is the one who took them."

"What where you two doing that you missed _that_?" Hildifons asked with a baffled look on his face as he studied the uprooted tree, leaving the soup left near the water pump.

The two shot each other looks that screamed: "Your fault!", making Bilbo roll his eyes. Still, they needed to get this show on the road. So Bilbo stretched and fluttered back up to eye level. It was then that Fíli also noticed the fire from the troll's camp. Realizing that they may avoid getting walloped by their uncle for losing the ponies, Fíli started towards it.

"There's a light." Fíli whispered.

The boys took off into the brush, and Hildifons took a deep breath. It was one thing to discuss what you're going to do, but actually doing it was another chest of gems altogether. Still, _someone_ had to keep those two from doing something ridiculously stupid. Stopping a good distance away, but still close enough to hear loud and gruff voices, the four focused on the light.

"Trolls." Bilbo moaned.

And Fíli and Kíli jumped up to run even _closer_ to the beasts. Hildifons rolled his eyes as he ran after them. Bilbo held onto his uncle's shoulder as they stopped to hide from the troll named William but preferred to be called Bill, the one who had snagged the ponies. Poor Myrtle and Minty were neighing in terror as they were hauled away.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty." Bilbo hissed in anger, upset that _his_ pony was at risk of becoming troll stew… again. "They're going to eat them."

"We can't just give them up, can we?" Kíli asked. "Four ponies?"

"I'm going to go get Thorin." Bilbo said firmly, ignoring any protest. "Don't do anything stupid."

Turning back, Bilbo flew back to the campsite as fast as he could. Oh, he hoped that Hildifons kept Fíli and Kíli busy long enough for him to get help. Those two could be silver tongued, and you'd be pulled into their dumb ideas faster than you could say 'no'.

"Trolls!" Bilbo yelled as he raced into the camp, making everyone turned to look at him as he flew up to Thorin.

"What?" Thorin asked, having been lost in thought.

"Three mountain trolls." Bilbo replied draped himself on Thorin's shoulder, panting. "They've taken four of the ponies. Uncle Hildifons is trying to keep Fíli and Kíli from doing anything stupid."

"He'll more likely help them." Dáin groaned as he got to his feet with his war hammer in hand.

"Uh-oh." Bilbo mumbled.

"Stay out of sight." Thorin mumbled to him as the company traveled through the forest to the troll's campsite. "I don't want to risk you getting hurt by accident. You still don't know what your special talent is, or if it will be of any help."

"Don't get caught." Bilbo replied and flew off of Thorin's shoulder.

Bilbo reached the makeshift pen the ponies were being kept. The hobbit kept his eyes on Bill and Tom, having a strong dislike for both of those two. During their last encounter, Tom had used him as a handkerchief and Bill had snatched him off of the ground, forcing his companions to give up the fight, and called him a ferret. It was then that Bilbo registered that Hildifons was insulting the troll's intelligence. Really? Was that the best course of action for dealing with three mountain trolls who could step on you and you'd be hobbit pudding in less than a second? Being rude and cheeky? At least he managed to avoid getting covered in troll boogers.

Thankfully, Thorin realized the danger as well and charged out of the brush with a war cry, diverting the attention of the beasts. Dáin wasn't even half a second behind, bellowing at the top of his lungs. Bilbo watched as the dwarves made use of each other as they attacked the trolls. Dori made a table of himself so that Dwalin could jump off his back and slash the arm of the troll who had picked Ori up off the ground.

Thorin had cleverly introduced troll battle tactics a week ago by quizzing Fíli and Kíli as they rode about the best way to dispatch an enemy. Be it an orc, man, elf, (Bilbo glared at this one), troll, goblin, warg, and other creatures. The best tactics were to go for the skins on the back of their ankles, simply because it was weaker and you could hamstring them if you got them at the right angle. Or if your weapon was long enough, the tender spots that all men had could use a stab. Of course, Dori's bolas smacking them in the eyes and tangling two of them together worked pretty nicely as well. Or even Ori's slingshot chucking rocks into their faces would have them hesitate long enough for someone to land a painful blow.

Bilbo actually ducked when Dwalin smacked his war hammer into the face of one of the trolls, teeth going flying. That dwarf was lethal.

Bilbo soon found himself thinking that they would win this fight without the sun when Ori yelled in pain. Bill had gotten a hold of him and was dangling him by his arms. Thorin and the rest of the company turned the cries, and cursed. Bilbo groaned. It had been a good plan, but it once again had ended because someone had gotten caught.

"Ori!" Dori and Nori tried to run forward, but were held back by Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, and Bofur.

"Lay down your arms, or he gets his ripped off." Bill threatened.

Thorin laid down _Deathless_ , his short sword, the rest of the dwarves following suit. Shouts filled the air as they were stripped of their clothes. Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Balin, Óin, Glóin, and Bombur were stuffed into sacks, and Dáin, Dori, Ori, Dwalin, Nori, Bifur, and Bofur, were tied down to a spit instead of being turned into dwarf stew right away. Hildifons had managed to hide back in the forest and not get stuff in a sack or tied to the spit.

"Don't bother cooking them." Tom moaned in hunger as he moved to sit down. "Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly."

"They should be sautéed and grilled, with a sprinkle of sage." Bert replied stiffly as he sprinkled a crumbled leaf that defiantly wasn't sage over the dwarves.

"Do they even know what sage looks like?" Bilbo huffed to himself, still hiding by the ponies secured in the pen.

"Is this really necessary?" Balin called, trying to negotiate.

"Ooh, that does sound nice." Tom admitted.

"Untie me, mister." Dáin growled.

"Why don't you eat someone your own size?" Glóin added with a sneer.

Bilbo rolled his eyes. Some things never changed. Dwarves were still a lot of bluster when in uncomfortable situations, but they did have the dwarf-power to back it all up. Moving carefully, Bilbo flew quickly to Thorin's shoulder, grateful that the dwarf wasn't trying to untie his sack with his teeth like he had last time. That had ended with rope fibers in his mouth and not getting free. It wasn't just being in the presence of elves that evening that had put Thorin off of eating.

"Never mind the seasoning." Bill growled as he turned the spit a little faster. "We don't have all night. Dawn ain't far away, so get a move on! I don't fancy being turned to stone."

Bilbo looked up and saw that the sky in the east was getting lighter. Thorin and Bilbo hadn't told Hildifons this part of the conversation, so it would be up to Bilbo to stall for time again. Taking a deep breath, Bilbo flew to Bill, and landed on top of his fist, making the troll stop turning the spit.

"Look at this!" Bill yelled. "It landed right on me hand!"

"What is it?" Bert asked as he and Tom came over.

"I'm a burglar-hobbit." Bilbo introduced himself. "I'm terribly small and am often missed by the other creatures because they don't bother to look down. Now, I was on my way home and couldn't help but over hear that you were cooking up some dwarf. I'm terribly sorry to tell you that you are making a terrible mistake."

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits." Dori yelled.

"Half-wits, then what does that make us?" Bofur questioned back.

"With the seasoning, I mean." Bilbo elaborated before the trolls got all offended.

"What about the seasoning?" Bert curiously questioned, so Bilbo moved to the back of his hand.

"Have you smelled them?" Bilbo asked earning some grumbles and huffs. "I followed my nose here before I heard you talking. You're going to need something a lot stronger then sage before you plated up this lot. You need something like… basil or mint."

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Bill demanded, and Bilbo glared at him.

"Quiet." Bert growled back. "Let the burgalbuber-hobbit talk."

"Well, the secret to cooking dwarf is the method that wizards use." Bilbo declared, ignoring the squirrel comment. "You have to skin them first."

Thorin cursed, and Bilbo knew that the dwarf was thinking about the map to the Shire that Gandalf gave him. Thorin hadn't followed it this time, but last time it had led him to the Shire's tannery before the dwarf climbed a tree to find out where his kin had gathered. Everyone else was just as affronted.

"I'll skin you, you little-" Glóin roared.

"Just the backs of their hands and the tops of their feet though." Bilbo continued, ignoring the dwarves and their caterwauling. "And maybe from their arses, depending on their age."

"You'll pay for that!" Dwalin vowed loudly, pointing a finger at Bilbo as he spun round.

"I'm not going to forget that!" Dáin added, just as angry as his cousin.

"Tom, get me filleting knife." Bert ordered, and the skinniest troll moved to do as he was told.

"What a load of rubbish." Bill growled as he glared at Bilbo. "I've had plenty with their skins on. Scarf 'em, boot and all I say."

"Yeah, nothing wrong with some raw dwarf." Tom agreed and picked up Bombur. "Nice and crunchy."

Bombur was yelling in fear as he stared into Tom's stomach. Bilbo swallowed. He had to act quickly.

"You'll get their parasites if you eat them like that!" Bilbo screamed. "You have to skin them so you can get rid of the worms in their tubes."

Tom yelled in fear and let Bombur fall onto the dwarf pile. Kíli and Óin hollered in pain as the largest member of the company landed on them. Bilbo spotted Gandalf weaving about in the foliage, making his way to the large rock that would get split in two. Just a little more time.

"They're all are absolutely riddled with parasites." Bilbo explained while shaking his head. "That's why you need to skin them, so you can get rid of the leeches. You'll end up puking your intestines out if you don't. The dwarves from the Blue Mountains are loaded with the creatures, and I wouldn't risk getting them by eating them raw. I really wouldn't."

"Parasites?" Óin questioned. "Did he say parasites?"

"We don't have parasites!" Kíli protested. " _You_ have parasites!"

Bilbo resisted rolling his eyes and stared at the dwarves with an unimpressed look. Did someone say that the dwarves were intelligent? Besides other dwarves, because right now was _really_ proving them wrong. Thorin kicked his nephew, making the lad yelp as his uncle glared at him. It was nice to know that _someone_ knew what Bilbo was trying to do.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!" Óin exclaimed.

"Mine are the biggest parasites!" Kíli called out.

"I've got the hugest parasites." Fíli added, sibling rivalry trying to get him to outdo his brother.

The trolls looked around as the dwarves all agreed with what Bilbo was saying. They had parasites? Ones that would make them thrown up their digestive track?

"We're riddled!" Dori said.

"Yes, I'm riddled!" Ori agreed.

"What would you have us do then?" Bill questioned as he walked over to Bert, who still had Bilbo perched on his hand. "Let them all go?"

"I just told you what you needed to do to get rid of the parasites." Bilbo huffed. "If you really want to take the risk, by all means, go ahead."

Bill growled at the little hobbit-fairy, and -surprisingly- Bert growled back at the other troll. He liked the little burgalbuber-hobbit. The burgalbuber-hobbit knew how to cook! None of the idiots he was with knew how to do that. They just complained about the quality of food they were given and demanded even more.

"This little ferret is taking us all for fools." Bill accused Bilbo as he went back to the spit and turned extra hard.

"Ferret?!" Bilbo squawked in anger, stamping his little foot with his hands on his hips.

He had been called a ferret, for the second time! It hadn't been avoided. Bill made this personal. These trolls were going down!

"Fools?" Bert questioned as he looked suspiciously at Bilbo.

"The dawn will take you all!" Gandalf declared as he stood on a large rock that was hiding the sun.

Everyone's eyes turned to Gandalf. Bilbo took the opportunity to fly back to Thorin. He didn't want to be on Bert when the troll started to turn into stone. There was just too much risk of getting hurt if he stayed there.

"About time." Thorin huffed quietly.

"Who's that?" Bill questioned.

"No idea." Bert answered.

"Can we eat him to?" Tom asked.

Gandalf stabbed the rock with his staff, splitting it in two as he stood off to the side and allowed sunlight to pour into the clearing. The trolls roared in agony as they hardened into stone, never to move or harm anyone ever again. There was a few seconds of silence as everyone stared at the new statues, and then they all began to cheer. Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief as Hildifons slipped out of the forest with a dagger in hand, and began to undo the knots in the sacks.

"Get your foot out of my back." Dwalin grunted.

Just give him a minute! _Dwarves_.

Can't travel with them, can't take a mountain back from a dragon without them.

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 _Translations_

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Italian for: Soul Mate

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 _Timeline_

May 26th - June 2nd, year 2931: Week of Wetness.

May 29th, year 2931: Four days of rain and three to go, the Company finds out about the other wizards in the world, and takes shelter in a Ranger Rest Station.

June 18th, year 2931: Trolls (Late).

June 19th, year 2931: Bilbo distracts the trolls from eating the dwarves long enough for Gandalf to turn them into stone (dawn).


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Hildifons made quick work of the rope holding the top of the sacks closed. Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Balin, Óin, Glóin, and Bombur quickly found their pants and pulled them on, not wanting to be in their small clothes any longer than necessary. They then put the fire above the spit out and helped the rest of their kin down. It was an interesting process, but soon they all were getting their clothes back on their bodies and brushing off the troll incident.

Gandalf got down to the clearing and knocked his staff against the troll that had been Bill. It gave a very satisfying thunk. Bilbo smiled at the sound as he held onto the bag of money that Thorin kept in his left boot, glaring at Nori when the dwarf tried to filch it. The middle Ri brother quickly backed off.

"Where did you go off to, might I ask?" Thorin asked Gandalf as he reclaimed his coin pouch from his protective hobbit-fairy, crossing getting almost eaten by trolls off of his mental to-do list.

"Looking ahead." Gandalf replied.

"And what brought you back?" Thorin continued his 'questioning'.

"Looking behind." Gandalf answered.

Bilbo couldn't tell it Gandalf was smug or simply pleased that no one was hurt. From the tone of the wizard's voice, it sounded like it was both. Or it was something else altogether.

"Burglar." Dwalin growled.

Bilbo's wings grew stiff at the tone. This hadn't happened last lifetime. Dwalin had been busy with Nori swiping his knuckle-dusters. Turning slowly, Bilbo faced the bald and fearsome dwarf, who had an extremely pissed off look on his face. Thorin also noticed, and halted his conversation with Gandalf to make sure that Bilbo wouldn't get to hurt.

"Yes Master Dwalin?" Bilbo asked, amazed that he could remain standing with how much his legs were shaking in fear.

Dwalin stared at him with an unreadable expression. And then he dropped to one knee to look Bilbo in the eyes. His face become softer and his body relaxed.

"That was some quick thinking." Dwalin said, his tone gentle. "Forgive me for threatening you when you were trying to keep us alive."

"I forgive you." Bilbo smiled. "I would have been yelling to if someone said I needed to be skinned for a troll's dinner. Trolls are nasty business."

"At least we're all in one piece." Ori added, rolling his shoulders to alleviate the aches he'd gotten from being dangled by Bill.

Dáin, however, didn't share the same sentiments of his cousin. He marched over with an angry look on his face. Bilbo was originally going to stay put, but bolted when he heard mumbles about skinning and parasites and giving him a taste of his own medicine. Originally, Bilbo would have gone to Thorin, but changed route almost immediately and went to Uncle Hildifons instead.

Hildifons, who was still in his normal form, placed his hands on his hips and glared at his husband as Bilbo tucked himself behind his uncle's neck, standing on his shirt collar. Dáin stopped in his tracks, not wanting to get on Hildifons' bad side, but it was a little too late.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Hildifons demanded.

"I was… I was going to…" Dáin cleared his throat nervously. "Nothing."

"Damn right, nothing." Hildifons hissed.

As Hildifons marched forward and grabbed Dáin by his ear, Bilbo quickly darted over to Gandalf, and perched himself on the brim of his hat. Bilbo heard the wizard hum at the new development, but was content to watch a dwarf that was squealing like a newborn pig get dragged off by his ear by a hobbit. Thorin just shook his head.

"Nasty business, those trolls." Bilbo mumbled as he glared at the now-turned-to-stone trolls.

"Since when do mountain trolls travel this far south?" Thorin asked, though he already knew the answer Gandalf would give.

"Not for over an age, when a darker power ruled these lands." Gandalf replied gravely, before humming in thought. "They couldn't have traveled in daylight."

"There must be a cave nearby." Dáin concluded as he and Hildifons came back. "A troll-hoard."

Nori then let out an exclamation of disgust at the odor he discovered that came with the troll-hoard. The dwarves quickly gathered to discover what types of riches might be down there. Bilbo held Thorin back for a moment, whispering in his ear, and then flittered off to wait with Bifur. The memory of something that was found afterwards on the journey home made Bilbo's stomach roll. He would let the dwarves deal with it this time, not wanting to go down into the pungent smell, he got a good whiff of it this far away. Thorin, who had a torch, went in to the cave with Dáin, Bofur, Glóin, Nori, and Dwalin, along with Gandalf.

Bilbo couldn't hear any of the conversation very well, due to the coughs and gags at the overwhelming stench of troll, but he did hear Dwalin let out a curse in Khuzdul when Thorin's torch light brought the remains of the farmer's family into focus. The farmer's wife and child had been beheaded, their heads put on the pikes in a corner of the cave*. Bilbo hadn't wanted them to be forgotten again, and had Thorin 'find them' before the dwarves got distracted by the gold that was lying on the ground.

"Get something to bury them in." Thorin ordered, his voice carried out of the cave as Bofur sprinted out at top speed.

"The remains of the farmer's family are down there." Bofur gasped, his face pale. "A wife and child."

The company looked disturbed at the mentioning of a child being lost to the monsters. Since only 1/3 or the dwarven race was female, and not all of them wanted to get married, children were few, usually far between, and cherished by all. Bofur grabbed the sacks they had been stuffed in, simply because they didn't have any boxes, or the time to make them, and headed back down. Soon, Bofur and Nori came back out the sacks filled, and the shovel.

"Let's get these poor souls buried." Nori stated flatly, though all could hear the underlying sorrow in his voice at the thought of having to bury a child.

Fíli and Kíli instantly aided, along with Hildifons. Bilbo sighed as he watched them leave, before listening to another conversation in the troll-hoard. Thorin was insisting that they fill all of their money pouches to the brim with the gold in the hoard before burying a chest for a 'long-term deposit'. Bilbo knew that the reason they were filling up their bags of money was so everyone would now follow the saying, 'You break it, you buy it'. This way, Glóin and Óin, their main financial backers for this journey, wouldn't be bled dry by the actions of the company whenever they came across a town.

Not much later, the group quickly came out of the troll-hoard. They weren't as cheery as they had been last lifetime, but Thorin had accurately named it a 'foul place', and it continued to remain so. Standing with a stretch, Bilbo fluttered over to Thorin, who had _Orcrist_ strapped to his back, _Sting_ and another elvish dagger in his hand. Gandalf had _Glamdring_ in his hand, and was looking it over.

"Balin." Thorin called over his advisor, and held up _Sting_. "We now have a sword for Bilbo when he returns to his normal form."

"Good." Balin nodded, happy they were able to fulfill their part of that contract.

"And here is another for Ori." Thorin continued. "He needs something besides that slingshot."

"Yes please." Ori popped up next to Thorin's shoulder, making the dwarf king jump and believe that Ori had been taking sneaking lesson from Nori and Bilbo. "I don't even care if it looks elvish."

"It is elvish." Bilbo giggled at the startled look on the young dwarf's face.

Nori, Dori, and many other members of the company grew sour faced at the idea of one of their kin having to wield a 'leaf-eater's' dagger as a weapon. Thorin and Bilbo knew that this had to be nipped in the bud, else poor Ori would be teased something awful. Thankfully Gandalf actually knew when to run intervention… for once.

"These elvish blades were forged in Gondolin, by the High Elves of the First Age." Gandalf stated. "And that means that they glow blue when orcs and goblins are about. A nice little warning, in all honesty."

Dori had to concede, with Ori's new warning system from the orcs being the only reason he would allow his brother to keep the dagger. Nori still looked like he had bitten into a lemon, but he also wanted his brother safe on this journey. To Bilbo's surprise, it looked like Dwalin dislike the idea of Ori having an elvish weapon even more than Dori and Nori. Was there something going on between them that he had missed last lifetime?

"Now that you're 'properly armed', there is something else I'd like you to remember." Gandalf continued, his voice growing into one of passing wisdom. "True courage is about knowing not when to take a life… but rather, when to spare one."

Bilbo had already taken these words to heart. They were the reason he had spared Gollum in the goblin caves last lifetime. Ori, being the scholarly minded dwarf, was pondering these words as Nori helped him strap his new weapon to his belt. Would he know when to spare a life? He didn't think he would be able to spare an orc or goblin, but would there be others that he could spare?

"Something's coming!" Dwalin called.

"Stay together!" Thorin ordered.

A brief glance at _Sting_ told Bilbo that the orcs and wargs hadn't found them early, so it was just Radagast. Sure enough, the Brown Wizard came out of the brush on his giant rabbit pulled sled. Thorin eyed the rabbits as well. One of those things would keep his immediate family fed for a week. As if Bilbo knew what he was thinking, a tiny hand smacked his neck in a rebuke. Thorin glared at the hobbit-fairy, who stared back just as heated.

"Thieves! Fire! Murder!" Radagast screamed as the sled came to a halt.

"Radagast." Gandalf announced as he sheathed his sword. "It's Radagast the Brown. Well… what on earth are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you Gandalf." Radagast replied, very twitchy from what Thorin and Bilbo knew was his brief experience in Dol Guldur. "Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong."

"Yes?" Gandalf prompted.

Radagast inhaled sharply, and then paused. He did it again before frowning. Thorin sighed as he shook his head at the forgetfulness of the Brown Wizard. You'd think something like say… a sick forest and giant spiders wouldn't be so hard to forget.

"Just give me a minute." Radagast whimpered. "Oh. I had a thought and now I've lost it."

Many of the dwarves thought that Radagast was crazy. The bird poo on the side of his face didn't help their opinions. _This guy_ was supposed to be a _wizard_? There was just no way. Though, it was a hard point to argue since the guy had a staff with some type of jewel in top… and a giant rabbit pulled sled. Where had he gotten those things anyway?

"Oh, it's not a thought at all." Radagast realized as he quickly stuck out his tongue. "It's a silly old… stick insect."

Gandalf picked up the bug as if something like this happened to him every day and gave it back to his fellow wizard. Radagast accepted the insect and placed it in one of his pockets.

"Are we sure this guy is a wizard?" Bofur mumbled.

"Gandalf says he is." Bilbo sighed, and the dwarf conceded the point.

You just down argue with someone who could turn you into something… _unnatural_.

The two wizards went off to talk, and Thorin turned to the company, somehow getting everyone's attention just by turning. Bilbo fluttered off of Thorin's shoulder while the dwarf gave orders to saddle up the ponies while the wizards gossiped, to many groans and grumbles about the lack of sleep and hunger they all felt. Bilbo wanted to know the conversation between Gandalf and his friend, and hid in a nearby tree to listen in. Hildifons had the same idea, and settled next to his nephew.

"The Greenwood is sick Gandalf; a darkness has fallen over it." Radagast was saying. "Nothing grows any more, at least, nothing good. The air is foul with decay. But worst are the webs."

"Webs?" Gandalf questioned. "What do you mean?"

"Spiders, Gandalf." Radagast Replied. "Giant ones. Some spawn of Ungoliant, or I'm not a Wizard. I followed their trail. They came from Dol Guldur."

Bilbo barely bit back a growl. Gandalf _knew_ that there were spiders in Mirkwood? And he didn't even warn them? Maybe he thought they were in the southern part of the forest and hadn't traveled all the way north to the elven path, but he still could have warned them.

"Dol Guldur?" Gandalf looked disturbed as he looked to Radagast. "But the old fortress is abandoned."

"No Gandalf." Radagast shook his head. "Tis not. A dark power dwells there, such as I have never felt before. It is the shadow of an ancient horror. One that can summon the spirits of the dead. I saw him, Gandalf. From out of the darkness, a Necromancer has come."

Bilbo exhaled and thought to himself while Gandalf offered Radagast some Old Toby pipeweed to calm his nerves. How in the world did that wizard get smoke to come out of his ears? Well, he wasn't interested in the conversation any longer, and went back to Thorin. Hildifons stayed put to keep eavesdropping on the two, just like a Took.

"What is it?" Thorin asked once Bilbo had settled on his shoulder.

"The Greenwood is sick somehow and is also filled with giant spiders about the size of a horse." Bilbo sighed. "And the source of this evil is at the southern end of the Greenwood, in a ruined fortress called Dol Guldur."

Thorin took in all of the information Bilbo heard, and Bilbo could swear he saw the wheels turning in the dwarf's head. Thorin was no doubt irritated at Gandalf for not warning them about the spiders, but Bilbo suspected that Gandalf probably thought they weren't as far north as Thranduil's realms. Going around the northern or southern tip of the forest just wasn't possible. It took too long and took them dangerously close to Mount Gundabad or Dol Guldur.

While Mount Gundabad was where Durin the Deathless had awoken in the First Age, it had fallen to the orcs in the Second Age. Despite multiple cleansings after many battles, it still remained an orc stronghold. As for Dol Guldur… Bilbo wasn't interested in getting near Sauron or his spider's nest. It was then that the warg howled.

Time to be hunted by orcs and wargs.

"Was that a wolf?" Ori asked as he looked up from adjusting his new sword on his belt.

"That was not a wolf, lad." Bofur groaned.

A warg growled and jumped down from the crag it was atop of, fully intending to take down Dori for its next meal. It let out a yelp in pain as Bilbo grabbed it by the tail, his wings beating as hard as they could before he swung the beast into a tree, where it was very quickly finished off by Dori, Nori, and Thorin. Kíli's arrow felled the second Warg that was going for his uncle. Despite the arrow in its neck, the large canine tried to get back up, only to fall the final time to Dwalin's war hammer.

"Warg scouts!" Thorin grunted as he removed _Orcrist_ from the first warg's head. "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind."

"Yippee." Bilbo deadpanned, the expressions of the company mirroring his words.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf asked, approaching Thorin.

"No one." Thorin replied.

"Who did you tell?" Gandalf demanded, a bit angry and loud.

" _No one_ , I swear." Thorin repeated hotly.

The dwarf and wizard glared at each other, neither wanting to back down after their last 'argument'. Thorin had 'won' that one due to Gandalf storming off in a huff, and the gray wizard didn't want to 'lose' this argument either. Seriously, Bilbo swore the saw electricity cackling between their eyes as the looks grew more heated.

"Can you save the glaring contest for later?" Bilbo snapped. "We're being hunted by orcs here."

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin pointed out the obvious.

"Will the ponies be able to out run the wargs?" Ori asked as Glóin, Óin, Bifur, and himself brought over their mounts.

"Here's to hoping." Fíli replied grimly.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast offered.

"These are Gundabad Wargs." Gandalf said as he turned to his friend, obviously worried. "They will outrun you."

"These are _Rhosgobel Rabbits_." Radagast said as he pointed to his sled, earning odd looks from everyone there. "I'd like to see them try."

How could you argue with that?

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With the supplies secure in their packs and saddlebags, they were hidden behind a couple of large rocks on the plains and ready to go five minutes later. Not too long after, the remainder of the wargs and orcs had reached the forest. They entered the forest, and then ran after Radagast and his rabbits as they shot out of the woods. The brown wizard laughing and having the time of his life while the wargs and orc chased him. And he was yelling some pretty good insults over his shoulders. Who knew that orcs found their stench being compared to a rose was offensive?

Radagast, apparently.

"Come on!" Gandalf whispered as Radagast led the wargs away, and the company rushed across a rocky plain.

Every one of them had one of their weapons drawn ready to fight in case the wargs got to close, and the other holding tightly to the reigns. Hildifons was in his normal form, and perched on top of Myrtle at Bilbo's request. Bilbo himself was clinging to his uncle's shoulder as they rode. Ducking behind rocks while on pony-back was difficult, but they somehow managed, and doing their best to keep the ponies from making noise, they trotted across the rocky plains. But they had to keep stopping since Radagast and the wargs would keep running not too far in front of them in their weird zigzag chase.

"Stay together." Gandalf whispered as he gestured for them to move in a different direction.

"Move!" Thorin ordered as he gestured with _Orcrist_ to follow Gandalf.

Both Bilbo and Thorin knew it was nothing short of a miracle that the wargs hadn't scented the ponies. Bilbo's eyes widened and zipped ahead to pull Ori's hands back on Marigold's reins to get her to stop. Thankfully, they stopped before the rock they were behind ended, and didn't go out in the open where the wargs would see them. And there went Radagast and the orc-mounted wargs ran by, much closer than the last pass.

This was getting to be too close.

"Come on!" Gandalf ordered and gestured in a new direction. "Quick!"

"Where are you leading us?" Thorin asked as everyone rode passed him.

Bilbo flittered back to Thorin and perched on his shoulder before giving Gandalf the same look Thorin was. Gandalf didn't answer Thorin's question and started his mount again. Thorin rolled his eyes as he sighed. Why couldn't the wizard just answer the question? Bilbo also rolled his eyes at Gandalf's actions. As much as he valued the friendship they had in their past lifetime, it didn't exist in this lifetime, not yet. So he couldn't just tell Gandalf off for being such a pain, could he?

He _so_ wanted to.

When the wargs ran in front of them again, and Bilbo found himself wondering if Radagast had any sense of direction, or if he and Gandalf had some sort of magical wizard pull that drew them together. When they ended up hiding behind another rock, and heard a familiar growl along with a weapon being drawn, Bilbo didn't need to look up to see an orc mounted warg. Damn it. Hopefully they could kill it this time without it's death cries giving them away.

Thorin dismounted, Bilbo flittering to cling to Bungo's mane, and passed the reins of his pony to Balin as he looked to Kíli, and nodded to his nephew's bow. Kíli dismounted, tossing his reins to his brother and drew an arrow. Dwalin, Bifur, and Dáin followed Thorin's lead and also dismounted, weapons at the ready. Kíli took a deep breath and quickly stepped out from cover so he could get a clear shot as well. The bow sang with a sharp _twang_ and the arrow flew through the air. The warg yelped in pain, and another arrow struck the orc as it reached for its horn.

The momentum made the warg and orc fall off the rock. Thorin quickly leapt forward to finish the warg and orc off, followed by Dwalin, Bifur, Dáin, and. As the orc opened its mouth to give out the screech that would alert the rest of the wargs and orcs to their location, Ori jumped forward and rammed his new sword/dagger into its windpipe. Despite that there was no orc screech of death, Bilbo knew that the sounds of their fight would carry. On the wind, he heard an orc yelling in the Black Speech of their location.

"Run." Bilbo said grimly as the wargs started howling, this time coming straight for them.

Leaving the corpses behind, the dwarves remounted and spurred their ponies into a flat out gallop. They were able to stay ahead for a while, but their mounts soon began to tire, and they had to slow to a canter. His ear picking up the sounds of the wargs barking from to the left and right, and a touch in front of them, he flew up to a tree top and looked around. Yep, they were starting to get surrounded. Thorin halted the pony as Wargs appeared in the distance in front of them.

"There they are!" Glóin yelled as he pointed.

"This way!" Gandalf called. "Quickly!"

But on the bright side, Bilbo could see Lord Elrond and his patrol coming towards them from Rivendell. If they could just hold out until then… Bilbo flew back down to Thorin, and told him what he had seen. Thorin nodded, not liking the idea of having to be stylishly saved by some elves again, or eating a business dinner with their boss. But he would keep a civil tongue, for Bilbo's sake. And for Elrond's sake, knowing that he truly owed the half-elf who chose to live an immortal life.

"There's more coming!" Kíli yelled.

"Stay close to us and shoot when they're in range." Thorin ordered his youngest nephew.

"We're surrounded!" Fíli yelled as he looked in another direction.

The ponies were scared and whinnying with terror as the orcs got even closer. Thorin bit his lip. Did he set the ponies loose and hope that none of the wargs got them? They didn't have the time to unsaddle them, so that was a no. They would have to keep them steady until the elves got there. Thankfully, even Gandalf seemed to realize that, and his staff glowed for a moment before fading, and the animals calmed a little.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked.

"Something to keep our mounts from bolting." Gandalf replied. "But it will only last for five minutes."

As Gandalf was speaking, a riderless warg raced ahead of the rest, running right at Thorin. Thorin retaliated by slamming _Orcrist_ into its skull with a yell. Ori's new dagger stabbed another orc as Dori's bolas tripped up the warg, sliding the beast into one of Dwalin's axes. As the rest of the remaining two dozen orcs and wargs closed around them, an elvish horn sounded. Bilbo sighed in relief at Lord Elrond's 'timely' arrival. At least Gandalf's attempted meddling last night was good for something.

Elvish arrows struck the orcs and wargs, making the dark creatures of Morgoth's creation startle as they turned to face their new enemy. During the distraction, several of the dwarves dismounted and hamstringed the wargs, crippling many of the mounts. There were a few that had gotten away, and Bilbo knew that they would get word to Azog. As much as he wanted to pursue, he couldn't. It would change the future too much, and then they wouldn't know what to expect.

But he could have some fun now.

"Gotcha!" Bilbo cheered as the grabbed the tail of a warg.

The warg yelped in pain as it was lifted off the ground by the tail, front paw dangling and desperately trying to get back down to the ground. Hildifons fell off of Myrtle as he laughed. The other dwarves were also laughing and shaking their heads at Bilbo's antics. The elves were just bewildered, or amused if you were an elf lord who had worked with the gentle yet playful hobbit-fairies before.

"Piñata?" Bilbo asked Thorin with a grin.

Thorin just rolled his eyes and stabbed _Orcrist_ into the warg's throat. Tossing the warg aside like it was a sack of grain, Bilbo settled back down onto Thorin's left shoulder with another grin. Thorin just shook his head, but a smile played at his lips. It was then that he noticed that Elrond had dismounted from his horse. Well, at least this time they wouldn't get surrounded by galloping horses, so that was a plus.

"Greetings Thorin, son of Thráin." Elrond greeted warm and graciously.

"Greetings Lord Elrond." Thorin replied just as cordially, making Gandalf and just about everyone else gawk at his use of manners.

"You and your company are welcome to Rivendell to recover from this attack." Elrond offered.

"I thank you, and accept your invitation." Thorin nodded, still polite.

"Who are you and what did you do with my grumpy sour puss of a cousin?" Dáin asked loudly, right in Thorin's right ear.

Thorin retaliated by ramming his elbow into his cousin's stomach.

"Never mind." Dáin groaned as his husband snickered at his agony.

"Time for a business lunch with the boss." Bilbo sighed, and then yawned.

And then Kíli yawned, and Fíli, and Ori, and Balin, and Glóin, and Dori, and Bofur, and Bombur, and Dwalin, and then the remainder of the company all yawned. Oh yeah, they had been awake all of the previous day, all night last night, a good portion of this morning, and the adrenaline rush was now wearing off. They were so going to crash hard when they finally went to bed. Ori's soft snores, and Bilbo sliding into his chest pocket, made Thorin realize that it was already too late for some of them.

"Perhaps we can discuss matters of importance tomorrow." Elrond offered, not knowing why all the dwarves were so tired, but if they wanted to share they would.

"Thank you." Thorin replied. "Mountain trolls are terrible business."

"Mountain trolls?" Elrohir, one of Elrond's twin sons, asked in shock.

"They're statues now." Fíli said before yawing again. "But we were up all night until they were turned to stone by Gandalf and the sun, and then there was the warg chase, so we're beat."

"Elladan, Elrohir, ride ahead and have rooms prepared for our guests." Elrond instructed.

The twins nodded and spurred their horses back to Rivendell. Elrond reached into a saddle bag on the back of his horse and withdrew a flask before offering it to Thorin. Thorin eyed the flask with a small amount of suspicion. While he owed Elrond much for keeping Bilbo safe in his last lifetime, that didn't mean he still didn't harbor some suspicion.

"Tis merely water with some athelas." Elrond explained patiently. "It will help keep you awake until we get to Rivendell."

Good enough. Thorin took a sip and passed it around. There was some skepticism, but those who were awake took a sip before remounting. Bofur and Balin passed out shortly after, and Glóin was nodding off as well. Thorin covered his mouth as he gave a jaw cracking yawn. He was more tired than he thought, but guessed it was because he had been riding from the wargs instead of running.

What happened next passed by in a blur, Thorin not remembering any details. They arrived in Rivendell and poked awake the sleepy dwarves so they could be shown to a couple of rooms that could house up to 10 people each. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Glóin, Óin, Dori, Ori, and Nori claimed one room, while Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bilbo, Hildifons, Dáin, Balin, and Dwalin claimed the other room. Gandalf had his own room for whenever he stayed at the Last Homely House East of the Sea.

Thorin made a round between the rooms to make sure that everyone was where they need to be instead of sleeping in the bathtub, _Dwalin_. Coming back to his room, Thorin shucked off his boots and coat, hung _Orcrist_ on a bedpost, made sure that Bilbo was snuggled into a bowl bed and not his shirt pocket, and finally went to sleep as the sun began to set.

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Pairings seen for the first time: Dwalin/Ori

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*I am not joking about this. When the dwarves enter the troll-hoard, look at the right side of the screen and you'll see the silhouette of a woman's head and a boot on spikes as the camera pans. It's right after Gandalf's 'Be careful what you touch' line and before the camera cuts to Thorin and shows the gold on the ground. I seriously doubt it was a statue or a life-sized head of a puppet, so the most logical explanation for a face with woman's hair is that it was the farmer's wife or teenaged daughter. Disturbing, I know.

I actually didn't notice this detail until another author pointed it out. Credit for that finding goes to blackdragonqueen, author of 'Into the Fire' on AO3, which is another time-travel fic where just Thorin goes back. It hasn't been updated for a while, but it's still a good read which I highly recommend.

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 _Timeline_

June 19th, year 2931: The troll-hoard, Radagast, Warg Chase, and Lord Elrond escorts the company to Rivendell.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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When Lord Elrond didn't panic at the sound of what could be describe as thunder, an earthquake, or a dragon, and calmly continued about his evening, the rest of Rivendell relaxed. It wasn't until after dinner that he announced there were some guests (17 to be exact) that had been awake all the previous day, last night, and most of that day, so they were now sleeping… Hence the snoring. Many of the elves felt embarrassed that they couldn't figure out the sound of a dwarvish melody played on their windpipes. One such elf was Lindir, Lord Elrond's personal assistant and _Faeven_ (Soul Mate).

Elrond had long believed that Celebrían, daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel of Lothlórien, was his _Faeves_ (Soul Mate), but she had dashed that belief shortly after their sons Elladan and Elrohir were born. Having inherited her mother's gift of seeing things that may yet be to come, Celebrían announced one evening that his true _Faeven_ (Soul Mate) was near. When he asked why she had married him if she knew that, she replied that she was needed here for the future. Celebrían made Elrond feel like he was nearly complete, a common occurrence in Middle-Earth since not all found their soul mate. But after he met Lindir for the first time on a journey back from Lothlórien in the 239th year of the Third Age, Elrond knew he that truly wasn't. But since Elrond was married and taking another partner was looked down upon, even if they were your _Faeven_ (Soul Mate), Lindir became Elrond's personal assistant.

About a year later, Lindir began to grow with child. This was good and bad. Elrond wanted children with Lindir, but the mockery and ridicule that would come because of it… It was then that his mother-in-law, the Lady Galadriel, suddenly appeared for a surprise stay. She knew about Lindir and the child he would bear, and offered to help with a spell that she had learned while she still dwelt in Valinor. It was used before the sun and moon had risen in the sky, during the time that the Two Trees of Light grew in the Undying Lands. The spell would safely transfer the growing babe into Celebrían's womb and would share a small bit of her DNA, thus having everyone believe that the child would be from a married union. Lindir would feel all that Celebrían did as the child grew, the kicks and punches, food cravings, sore muscles, nausea, and would even experience a form of labor when the time came.

They agreed. Galadriel cast her spell, chanting in Quenya, the language the elves who had lived in Valinor had learned, not the native Middle-Earth Sindarin. All they saw was a ball of light extract itself from Lindir's stomach and was absorbed into Celebrían's before a golden light surrounded her entire body briefly before fading. The spell had worked. Galadriel stayed for another two years before returning to her own home.

The pregnancy was an interesting experience. There was no nausea, but the sore muscles, swollen ankles, and back aches were constant. Elrond found tasks that mostly kept Lindir and Celebrían off of their feet, such as being in the gardens. The food cravings were interestingly disgusting, but Lindir admitted later that they were surprisingly delicious as well. Elladan and Elrohir knew of their father's union with Lindir, and had readily accepted him after they spent several seasons in Lothlórien and were able to come to terms with it. They 'pranked' Lindir so often during the pregnancy that Elrond finally 'punished' them by declaring they would be Lindir's personal assistants for an undetermined amount of time. It honestly was just a way to hide their bonding time.

Lindir admitted that he had gotten used to it by the time the 'punishment' had ended.

Not long before Celebrían was to give birth, Elrond then had a vision of the future. A little elf child, a girl was running through the gardens in Rivendell, and she was closely followed by Lindir and himself. She obviously had the same genetic structure of Elrond and Lindir, but they melded perfectly with the genetics from Celebrían. Celebrían was also in his pictured foresight, watching the three from a gray ship that was sailing away from Middle-Earth. Elrond's heart was saddened, knowing that his close friend wouldn't be able to watch the beautiful little girl grow up.

Lindir kicked Elrond out of his bed when the labor pains began. It was amusing to watch the elf lord hobble to Celebrían's side so she could be taken to the healer's wing. Hours later, their daughter was born, and named Arwen by Lindir. Since he was unable to carry his baby, he was to choose her name. Arwen grew and was the joy to many, but those happy times ended 2278 years later, when Celebrían was attacked and kidnapped by orcs on a journey to Lothlórien.

Elladan and Elrohir saved their mother, and Elrond was able to heal her physical wounds… but not her mental ones. Her mind had been tortured and broken, and no longer was able to find joy in anything, not even her family. A year after her rescue, she departed to the Gray Havens, and Valinor. Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir, Arwen, and Lindir all went with to bid her good-bye. Once on the ship, she looked back and smiled, like she had in Elrond's vision, before disappearing from sight on the horizon.

Once back in Rivendell, Arwen had become depressed like her mother had, Elladan and Elrohir were planning to slaughter any orcs that they could find, Elrond was simply at a loss of what to do, and Lindir was the one who pulled them all out of it. To Arwen he brought cheer and comfort with flowers, songs, and gentle hugs until she could smile and laugh again. Elladan and Elrohir he took by the ears, and occasionally over his knee in a private room, every time he caught wind of them planning to hunt down orcs or sneak out somewhere, until they finally realized that killing ever orc in Middle-Earth wouldn't bring their mother back. Only time in Valinor would aid her recovery.

And Elrond… what Lindir did with him was private. _Very_ private.

Lindir still remained Elrond's personal assistant after Celebrían's departure, since the complainers would say that since Celebrían wasn't dead, just in Valinor, it was still wrong for Elrond to be with another. Then the hypocrites would offer themselves as a new wife for the elven lord. Quite frustrating all in all. But still, if that was what had to be put up with for the two of them to be together, Elrond would put up with it.

"What are you thinking about?" Lindir's voice brought Elrond out of his thoughts.

"The past." Elrond admitted. "How we met, what came of it… where we are now…"

Lindir sat next to Elrond, and pressed a gentle kiss to his brow. The simple gesture said more than words ever would, and eased a good deal of tension. In Elrond's private chambers, they could be themselves without fear of being discovered. Saddening, but true. Leaning into Elrond's shoulder, Lindir sighed and found himself wishing -yet again- that they could be who they truly were without fear of repercussions. It was a trait the elves had picked up from the race of men, marrying once and staying married until your spouse died, even if you met your _Faeven_ (Soul Mate). If they were missing or purposely left for any reason besides abuse or infidelity, getting re-married was still not an option until they were dead.

"We're fine." Lindir whispered.

"We are." Elrond agreed. "What did you think of our guests?"

"I think that the snores they make can rival an earthquake." Lindir replied honestly.

Elrond chuckled softly. The panicked look on Lindir's face at dinner as the dwarven snore chorus resonated threw the fair city was laughable, but not to the point of teasing. Some of the musician's teased Lindir about it, until Elladan or Elrohir pointed out that they had been panicking as well. Arwen was currently in Lothlórien, visiting her grandparents.

"Other than their musical talents, what do you think?" Elrond asked again.

"I think I'll have to wait and see until they're awake tomorrow before I can answer that question." Lindir replied with a hint of sass.

Elrond loved it when Lindir sassed at him… It kept his life interesting.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo was among the first of the company to wake on June 20th, just past 7 weeks since they left Bag End. His bowl bed was comfy, and he really didn't want to wake up, but sleeping the day away wasn't healthy since he had been asleep for such a long time already. If he wanted any sleep that night, he needed to get up now. Why was that easier said than done? With a yawn and stretch, Bilbo sat up in his bowl bed and looked around.

Hildifons was in another bowl bed, but the subtle twitches of his wings indicated that he would wake soon. Dáin was snoring soft, low, and deep, but would be waking shortly after Hildifons did. Fíli and Kíli were a tangle of body limbs and bed sheets. How they even managed to get into some of their awkward positions and not be stiff and sore in the morning… that was beyond Bilbo. Balin was snoozing, as well as Dwalin, and Thorin… was not in his bed.

Bilbo was instantly alert. Thankfully, the dwarf had left behind _Orcrist_ , so he wasn't going on a rampage around Rivendell with the intent of frightening any earlier risers. Some footsteps on the balcony let Bilbo know where the dwarf was. With a sigh of relief, Bilbo joined Thorin outside.

"Good morning." Bilbo greeted.

Thorin turned from where he had been overlooking the city. He had been amazed at how full of life and color Rivendell was, especially since 90 years later the city had become so dull and weary. It was a quick span of time, especially if you were an elf. But in his opinion, the city faded whenever Bilbo was around, the cheerful hobbit-fairy brightening things up wherever he went.

"Good morning." Thorin replied with a smile of his own.

"Want to help me wake everyone up?" Bilbo asked with an impish grin.

Thorin just grinned in response. _Duh!_ The two gathered several large basins from the bathroom, and filled them with _very_ cold water. Thorin made sure that he had _Orcrist_ and _Sting_ on him before Bilbo gave the signal. Bilbo got Fíli, Kíli, and Hildifons with his water, and Thorin got Dáin, Balin, and Dwalin. The six woke with screams and yelps as the cold water jerked them into awareness. Fíli and Kíli remained a tangle of limbs and bed sheets that fell to the floor in their panic.

Thorin and Bilbo laughed when they heard thumps from the other room as the dwarves came running, thinking they were under attack. Of course, when the door opened, Bifur, Glóin, and Nori got soaked with the final basin of cold water, Bofur, Dori, and Óin getting some face splashing. Ori and Bombur had been at the back of the group and only got a few droplets.

"Rise and shine sleepy heads!" Bilbo called brightly.

"Oh Mahal, no!" Dwalin groaned and flopped back down onto his soaked bed. "He's a morning person."

"You're just figuring this out?" Thorin asked, all too amused.

"I'm going to kill you!" Dáin roared.

"And ruin poor Ori's eyes and good opinion of you?" Thorin teasingly asked, using Ori's 'status' as 'innocent' to throw off his cousin.

Dáin growled and gave several gestures in Iglishmêk, the dwarven hand signs that were considered just as sacred as Khuzdul. Hildifons' squawk of anger, and most of the company laughing, let Bilbo know that Dáin was cursing his cousin, murdering him with his hand signs instead of his bare hands.

"It would seem like our guests have awaken." Lindir said from the doorway, observing the dwarves and hobbit-fairies. "If you would follow me, I will show you to the dining hall."

"Thank you." Thorin replied with a nod of his head, still earning him odd looks from his kin for his use of manners. "What are you staring at?"

And everyone was suddenly more interested in the 'shoddy architect over here, don't you think' than in Thorin's words and tone of voice. Lindir was a touch baffled by the dwarves, but decided that it wasn't any of his business. The dwarves followed the elf, though many were still distrustful. Bilbo, who was once again riding on Thorin's shoulder, knew that would mellow out once they got some decent food. Hopefully it wouldn't be all greens and no meat again. When they got to the dining area, there still wasn't any meat, but there wasn't much in terms of greens either.

There were elvish pancakes and French toast, fresh fruit and fruit pastries, and water. Thorin's sigh of relief was drowned out by his kin cheering at the prospect of breakfast. Elrond and Gandalf entered from another door in time to see the piles of food get stabbed into as the dwarves laid claim to the food. Thorin watched and shook his head, but he still smiled as he filled a plate for himself. Bilbo 'helped' by adding lots of fruit pastries to eat.

The dwarves sat at the other two tables available. Nori, Dwalin, Óin, Bofur, Dáin, Hildifons, and Bifur were at one table, and Balin, Kíli, Fíli, Bombur, Dori, Ori, and Glóin were seated at the other table. Thorin, Bilbo, and Gandalf were seated at the table on the dais with Elrond. Lindir stood behind his husband and Lord by a statue, while Elrohir and Elladan slipping in to greet their father, grab some food, and quickly leave.

"I'm getting a bad feeling." Bilbo admitted as he watched the twins leave.

"Why?" Thorin asked.

"They got the same look in their eyes that Fíli and Kíli get when their planning a prank." Bilbo replied.

"There's a look?" Fíli asked as he and his brother looked at them shock.

"It's hard to miss." Bilbo nodded sagely.

Elrond glanced over his shoulder at Lindir, who nodded and departed to stop any prank attempts from Elladan and Elrohir. Hopefully… probably not. It was nice of him to try to stop them, anyway. Elrond sighed as he took in the sight of his now awake guests. Gandalf had been very pushy about him meeting with them, and probably had been pushy with the dwarves meeting with him. He felt sympathy for the children of Aulë. The wizard needed to stop being so demanding, he would get better results with the people he worked with.

There was a small commotion, and Lindir calmly walked back in with the twin's ears pinched between his fingers. Elladan and Elrohir had a couple of small pouches filled with something, and it definitely wasn't water. Elrond sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, while the rest of the courtyard filled with chuckles and joking comments to keep Fíli and Kíli away from the pranksters.

"What were you going to do?" Elrond asked with a longsuffering sigh that Thorin often gave when speaking with his own nephews.

"Nothing." Elrohir protested, and yelped when Lindir's fingers pinched tighter.

"It's just some itching powder." Elladan amended.

"Meant to go in our small clothes?" Bilbo asked knowingly.

The blushes on their faces were answer enough.

"What should their punishment be, my lord?" Lindir asked.

"If Master Thorin's company has any suggestions, since this would have been an attack on their persons…" Elrond looked to the dwarves.

"Since they've taken an interest in our clothes, how about they do our laundry?" Ori proposed. "Properly, that is."

Silence reigned as everyone looked to the younger dwarf. It was moments like this that reminded everyone that, yes, Ori was _definitely_ related to Nori. Ori blinked owlishly, (not fooling Bilbo for a moment, he knew that Ori's innocent act was just an _act_ ), while Nori roguishly grinned his approval. Several of the elves were cooing about how adorable Ori was, making Dori feel torn between scolding his brother's not-so-innocent ways, and shielding him from the cooing elves.

"Sounds good to me." Bilbo agreed.

"Seconded." Hildifons added.

"All those in favor?" Thorin drawled with his mouth twitching into a smile.

"Aye!" all the dwarves yelled.

"Opposed?" Thorin added for formalities sake.

"Nay!" Elladan and Elrohir yelled, and whined when Lindir tightened his grip on their ears again.

"The ayes have it, adjourned." Thorin nodded, toasting the twin brothers with his glass of water.

"No!" Elladan's and Elrohir's wails of could be heard as they were dragged down the hallway.

Just about everyone in the dining area was laughing at their 'misfortune', which they had brought upon themselves. Elrond just shook his head, and attempted to busy himself with his meal to hide his smile of amusement. Thorin shook his head, finding himself reminded of Fíli and Kíli. Speaking of whom… Kíli was staring after Elladan and Elrohir with a somewhat blank look on his face, save for a spark of longing in his eyes. Kíli then blinked, and shook himself before attempting to sneak some pastries off of his brother's plate.

Thorin did his best to keep his face impassive so he wouldn't draw any unwanted attention to his nephew. He knew what the look Kíli had gotten meant, his sister had gotten that look the first time she had met Víli, Fíli and Kíli's father, and he had gotten it the first time he met Bilbo. One of the sons of Lord Elrond was Kíli's _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). Thorin bit his tongue, actually feeling shocked. He had thought that the elf maiden from Mirkwood, Tauriel, was Kíli's _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). Guess she was just a close enough match.

But still, who knew that by simply coming to breakfast, instead of dinner, would make such a change in the timeline? Actually, now that Thorin thought about it, he was certain that he had seen both of Elladan and Elrohir playing musical instruments the first time around. Elladan had been walking around playing the lyre, and Elrohir had played a large harp next to the female harpist. It was probably the dinner conversation that had prevented further contact.

Thorin lifted his head and made accidental eye contact with Elrond, who flicked his eyes to Kíli and tipped his head to the door his children had been dragged out of. Thorin nodded his head, not surprised that the elf lord who had the gift of foresight saw that brief look before Kíli recovered. Bilbo had seen it as well, and was thinking about this new development as he munched on some peaches.

"I see that you have brought your weapons with you." Elrond commented lightly.

"Just these two, possibly three or four if Gandalf and Ori brought theirs." Thorin replied, and handed over _Sting_ and _Orcrist_ to be examined, prompting Ori to bring over his little dagger as well. "We found four elvish swords in a nearby troll-hoard, the trolls being dispatched by Gandalf and the sun yesterday morning. Gandalf claims that these weapons were made in Gondolin."

"I desire to hear the tale of your encounter with those trolls." Elrond hummed as he looked _Sting_ over, and Ori's dagger as well. "Gandalf spoke true of the origins of these blades. These were the daggers of Turgon, King of Gondolin, and my great-great-grandfather. They were made shortly before his death, so he never had the chance to name either of them."

"Wow." Bilbo said while Thorin offered _Orcrist_ to Elrond.

"This is _Orcrist_ , the Goblin Cleaver." Elrond said in wonder. "A famous blade made in Gondolin by the High Elves of the west. May it serve you well."

Thorin nodded his head as Elrond gave the blade back to him. He was grateful that the elf, (again), hadn't wanted to claim the sword back, as was his right to his lineage. Maybe he knew that Thorin was going to need this sword again the in near future. Gandalf then handed over _Glamdring_ to be looked over, making Thorin realize that Elrond actually had a stronger claim to _that_ sword, being his great-great-great-grandfather's weapon.

"And this is _Glamdring_ , the Foe-Hammer." Elrond nodded his head upon seeing it was still in excellent condition. "Sword of Turgon, King of Gondolin. These four blades were made for the Goblin Wars of the First Age."

"And they were lost in the Fall of Gondolin?" Bilbo asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Correct." Elrond replied and passed the sword back to the wizard. "I am curious as to how they ended up in that troll-hoard, but we'll most likely never know."

It was a curious question, but like Elrond said, they probably would never know. Thorin swept his eyes over his company, and was grateful that none of them were acting like children. A good night sleep in comfy beds could do wonders for your manners. Ori was eating and not getting nagged to by Dori, Óin hadn't stuffed a napkin in his ear trumpet, (probably because there were no musicians), Bofur wasn't singing and dancing and provoking a food fight, and Nori wasn't nicking items from the table…

Yet.

The thought made Thorin want to bang his head on the table. He didn't know what his company would get up to this time, but he hoped it didn't include bathing in the fountain this time around.

"14 dwarves and 2 hobbit-fairies." Elrond mused as he sipped some wine. "Interesting choice of traveling companions you have Gandalf."

"These are the decedents of the house of Durin." Gandalf replied, attempting to defend himself. "They're noble, decent folk."

"That's not true." Bofur called, Bifur and Bofur nodding. "We're from the Broadbeam clan, not the Longbeard clan."

"Gandalf, stop giving excuses." Bilbo scolded before the wizard carried on. "You sound like a fauntling that was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and is now standing with his nose in the corner."

The entire room roared in laughter, even Elrond chuckled at the shade of pink Gandalf turned. It was then Thorin noticed his Iron Hills cousin.

"Dáin, what are you doing?" Thorin asked.

Dáin had been standing at a breakfast buffet table ever since Elladan and Elrohir had been dragged out of the room. The dwarf turned around, and Hildifons fell off the table laughing while Thorin just groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, revisiting the urge to bang his head on the table. The red haired dwarf had a plate full of the fruit pastries, and several more _stuffed_ into his mouth, cheeks bulging full of dough and fruit.

"Do you think he looks more like a squirrel, or a chipmunk?" Bilbo asked.

Thorin stopped restraining himself, and dropped his head to the table.

"Too much?"

-0-0-0-0-0-

After breakfast, and after Thorin returned _Sting_ and _Orcrist_ to their guestroom, Bilbo dragged the dwarf around Rivendell, to show him all the little hiding places he had found during his retirement years. Eventually, they made it to the room that had been given to Bilbo while he lived there. The hobbit-fairy was hesitant to enter, not knowing if someone else had claimed this room as their own. But a sound within had Thorin opening the door.

The bedroom looked very much the same as when Bilbo used it. But this time, there was a cradle along the back wall. Bilbo gasped and flew over. A babe's laugh rang out in the quite room, and Bilbo couldn't stop the "aw" that fell from his lips. Thorin walked over and looked into the cradle, and saw an adorable brown haired baby with blue-gray eyes, about 3 1/2 months old. Despite the young age, both Bilbo and Thorin knew who this baby was.

"Aragorn." Bilbo whispered, making the young child focus on the hobbit-fairy and his transparent golden wings.

Thorin smiled as well, knowing that he had a gentle look in his eyes that only appeared with young children present. He was particularly fond of this child though, or what this child from the race of men had done for his dwobbit son as an adult. Aragorn had been through many trials in his last lifetime, and yet he became one of the greatest kings Gondor had ever known.

Eye wandering to the mobile attached to the cradle top, Thorin twisted the small knob, and frowned at the lack of tension he felt. Letting go, the dwarf's suspicions were confirmed by the lack of music and movement of the animal toys dangling beneath the disc. Opening the small door that led to the inside of the device, and as Bilbo fluttered to perch himself on the top of the mobile for a better look, Thorin peaked inside.

"The string that attaches to the mechanism to make to make it go has become undone." Thorin explained in simple terms. "You need special tools to fix it, which I don't have right now."

"Or tiny hobbit-fairy hands to tie a knot while a dwarf holds the string to prevent pinched fingers." Bilbo suggested.

"Good idea." Thorin nodded his head.

Thorin found the end of the string and pulled in completely taunt, his fingers pinching the thread two inches away from the mobile, giving Bilbo the rest to thread through under his instructions. It took a couple of minutes, and several backtracks, but Bilbo eventually tied the best knot he knew, (one that Nori had taught him last lifetime), and fluttered back. Thorin slowly let the string be pulled through his fingers back into the apparatus, and closed the door. This time when the knob was twisted, there was tension, and then there was music and movement once the knob was released.

"Whee!" Bilbo giggled as the mobile spun in a circle, taking him with it.

Aragorn giggled at the sight of Bilbo slowly spinning on top of his mobile. Thorin chuckled softly as well. It was a cute sight.

"Who are you?"

Thorin turned at the sound of a woman's voice. She was very young, only 23 year old. Bilbo knew that man behind her was 58 years old, and was her husband. Despite the age difference, the two were of the Dúnedain, and held a longer life span then most of the race of men. These two people, Gilraen and Arathorn, were Aragorn's parents. Bilbo knew their sad history/fate. Arathorn would die due to an orc arrow to the eye in two years, leaving Gilraen to miscarry her second baby, and then live for another 75 years without her spouse before she finally succumbed to the sadness within her.

Bilbo had actually met Gilraen shortly after his 111th birthday last lifetime, when she was 93. She was old and ill, but still had a passionate spirit for her child and his safety, mother-henning poor Aragorn as much as she could every time she saw him. By the time Bilbo returned to Rivendell after staying at Mirkwood, Laketown, Dale, and the Lonely Mountain for 8 years, (longer then he originally intended to stay, but it was so good to see his friends again), she had passed away.

"Is she related to your Aunt Mirabella and cousin Lobelia?" Thorin asked with a small smirk, bringing Bilbo out of his thoughts of the past.

"Thorin!" Bilbo squawked in disbelief at such an inappropriate question.

Arathorn doubled over in laughter. Gilraen groaned and sharply elbowed her husband in the nose. Normally she would hit his ribs or his stomach, but because of his bent over posture, it was his nose instead. Arathorn yelped in pain as he fell to the floor. Thorin immediately grew as wary of her as he was of his sister. If she elbowed him, simply due to his height, it would make contact with his nose.

"Please ignore my lout of a husband." Gilraen commented, and muffled protest came from the lump on man on the floor. "He left his common sense out in the wilds."

"Thorin, son of Thráin, at your service." Thorin introduced himself.

"Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo, of the Shire." Bilbo added as he flew to Thorin's shoulder.

Gilraen's jaw dropped. She had heard of the hobbit-fairies from Elladan and Elrohir, but she thought that they had been pulling another one of their jokes. Amazing that they were actually telling the truth for once.

"Gilraen, daughter of Dírhael." Gilraen introduced herself.

"Arathorn, son of Arador." Arathorn added as he got up off the floor.

"And the little baby boy who seems to like you two is Aragorn." Gilraen added as she crossed the room to her son's crib.

"He is so cute." Bilbo murmured as he peeked back down at the wide eyed baby.

"Cute is not how I would describe my cousin." Dáin said from the doorway.

"Dáin." Thorin groaned. "Bilbo wasn't talking about me."

"And who are you?" Gilraen demanded.

"I swear, she is related to your Aunt Mirabella or cousin Lobelia." Thorin mumbled.

"Shut up!" Bilbo snapped.

"Dáin, son of Nain, at your service." Dáin bowed. "The black haired fellow is my cousin. Followed him after he got dragged off by wee Bilbo."

"I told you to follow him." Hildifons huffed as he flew to Aragorn's cradle. "Hildifons Took, husband to the red haired pig."

"I thought he was a chipmunk now." Bilbo frowned. "Or a squirrel."

"Is this what you have to put up with every day?" Arathorn asked Thorin.

"Pretty much." Thorin nodded his head. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything, despite the headaches."

Dáin wandered after his husband. Once the dwarf saw Aragorn in the cradle, he froze and stared. Until Aragorn let out a belch that shook his mobile. Dáin laughed at the sound, making Aragorn giggle as well. The look on Dáin's face softened as well, and he tickled the lad behind his ear. Aragorn retaliated by grabbing the dwarf's finger and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Ach, lad!" Dáin protested playfully. "You don't know where that finger has been!"

"That finger has been in fruit pastries." Hildifons giggled. "No wonder he wants to nibble on it."

Arathorn and Gilraen were laughing by this point, finding that they liked the dwarves and the two hobbit-fairies they had met. And Aragorn liked them as well. Despite being 3 1/2 months old, Aragorn had a good judge of character. He had spat up on Elrohir the first time he picked the babe up, shortly after the elf had pranked poor Arathorn. So that was good enough for them.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Lindir walked about in one of the private gardens. He was getting frustrated enough to scream. Lady Eithadis, one of the harpists in Rivendell, had been 'offering comfort' to Elrond again, by suggesting some 'company' in the absence of Lady Celebrían, and more if he was interested. She was one of the elves who would proclaim that it wasn't right for Lord Elrond to re-marry when Lady Celebrían was alive in the Valinor, but would offer herself as a new wife when she thought no one was looking.

Hypocrite.

Not paying attention to where he was going, Lindir was quite surprised when he heard a moan of pleasure. Instead of keeping his eyes glued to the pathway and leaving the gardens he was in as quickly as he could, Lindir stopped, and looked to where he had heard the sound. Two of the dwarves, the one with the quirky hat and the one with the auburn colored elaborate hair style, were snogging against one of the maple trees. And with the way their hands were wandering, it looked like it was going to be more than heavy kissing very soon.

A startled and embarrassed squeak escaped his lips before Lindir could stop it. Bofur and Nori broke apart at the sound and looked at him. A flush of red flooded his cheeks and Lindir coughed in his hand awkwardly as he broke eye contact. Bofur and Nori looked back at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and looked back to Lindir, both having caught a hidden look on longing in his eyes. Not really wanting to stick around, Lindir forced his feet to move again.

"Now hold up." Bofur said as he and Nori grabbed his elbows and parked him on one of the benches. "Care to explain the look of longing? Cause we're both taken, if that's what you're asking."

"No!" Lindir exclaimed before he calmed down. "You're both handsome in your own way, but I know who my _Faeven_ is."

" _Faeven_?" Nori repeated. "I'm assuming that's what the men-folk refer to as 'Soul Mates'."

"Yes." Lindir nodded, not sure why he was admitting this.

"Congrats then." Bofur nodded. "You both must be very happy."

"Not really." Lindir sighed. "He was married before we found each other, and she is still living…"

"Not that stupid men-folk habit of not re-marrying until your current spouse dies." Nori groaned, understanding what had Lindir so down.

"Dwarves don't do it that way?" Lindir asked.

"No." Bofur and Nori replied in unison as they shook their heads.

"Hobbits don't either." Bilbo commented as he and Thorin came down the path, having left Dáin and Hildifons with the dwarf covered in baby spit-up and Gilraen laughing. "If we find our _Anima Gemella_ after marrying someone else, the marriage is usually absolved with no hard feelings. Sometime it ends up with one of the partners being a bitter shrew, or the occasional threesome, but that's a bit rare."

The elf had been very surprised when he walked by Lord Arathorn's rooms earlier to discover that his infant son was being held by King Thorin of Durin's folk. The hobbit-fairy known as Bilbo was popping his head over Thorin's shoulder and saying "Peek-a-boo", making the little prince-in-exile of men-folk laugh. Lindir wasn't sure what fact was more shocking: Gilraen was letting someone she barely knew hold her baby, or that he saw a dwarf holding a baby.

Then he had heard Lady Eithadis speaking with Elrond.

Lindir was gobsmacked. These two races of Middle-Earth were more accepting of you being with your _Faeven_ , (even if you were already married to someone else), then his own kin were! A weak and slightly hysterical laugh escaped Lindir's lips as he shook his head. Maybe the rumors he had heard were right, the elves and men-folk did have their heads too high in the clouds some days. A tiny hand patted his cheek, bringing Lindir back to reality to see Bilbo was offering him comfort.

"There, there." Bilbo said gently.

For some reason, everyone found the sight of the hobbit-fairy offering comfort to the elf who was, (easily), 12 times taller than he was, to be funny. Even Lindir laughed with them, and found that the tension in his shoulders had left him… mostly. There was a twitch left, but it wasn't as bad as normal. But he still didn't know what to do with the harpy that was going after his _Faeven_. To Lindir's surprise-and-yet-not-surprise, he ended up voicing his concerns to the 3 dwarves and 1 hobbit-fairy, wanting their advice on the matter.

"Just show them that he's 'off the market', so to speak." Thorin stated when Lindir was done talking.

"Kissing him in public, you mean?" Bilbo asked.

"Something like that." Nori agreed as he and Bofur nodded.

"Not smile upon." Lindir sighed.

"Then lead by example." Thorin said firmly. "If any elf wants a chance to be with their… _Faeven_?, even if they're already married to someone else, another couple is going to have to step up first. It was the same with dwarves back in the First Age, until the real _Amrâb Yusth_ , (Soul Mate), of Durin I, known as 'Deathless', stepped up and declared that she wasn't going to hide in the shadows and be miserable anymore because of some stupid law that Mahal the Creator, or Eru Ilúvatar, had not given us."

That made Lindir think. It was true, their creator, Eru Ilúvatar, had not forbidden them from being with their _Faeven_ if they had married another. He could use this. Yes, he could definitely use this. Jumping to his feet, the elf raced out of the gardens, the dwarves and hobbit-fairy hot on his heels. Lindir knew exactly where Elrond was this time of day, in the Hall of Fire. Pushing open the doors, and ignoring greetings from anyone who did greet him, Lindir went straight to Elrond, placed his hands on the man's face, and pulled him down into a kiss.

For the first time since the Halls had been created and named, there was absolute silence.

"Good on ya lad!" Glóin roared from where he was by the stock of alcohol, (which explained why he spoke at all), and that broke the quiet.

Everyone was clamoring with their own opinions all at once. Most were wondering why Lindir had kissed Lord Elrond when he was already married and had not shown desire in taking another, which would not have been allowed anyway. Others were blatantly hissing at the lack of etiquette and respect for the still living Lady Celebrían. The only response they got for that was Lindir showing the gawkers his middle finger of his right hand, while still kissing his _Faeven_.

"Oh, I _like_ this guy." Nori commented from where he stood in the doorway with Bofur and Thorin.

Lady Eithadis started yelling at Lindir for betraying Lady Celebrían in such a way by kissing a married elf. Before her rant could be continued, a large cluster of ebony and dogbane, (respectively meaning hypocrite, deceitful, or false), fell from by the ceiling and landed on her head. As the elves stared at her, Lindir looked up to see golden transparent wings zip out one of the air vents before the others in the Hall of Fire looked up to see where the flowers had come from. Finding no one, and concluding that it was by the will of the Valar, the elves began to scold Lady Eithadis as well since they knew the meaning of those flowers, leaving Elrond and Lindir to slip out of the Halls of Fire in peace.

"My thanks, Bilbo Baggins." Elrond said softly.

"You're welcome." Bilbo giggled as he perched himself back on Thorin's shoulders.

"So that's what you were doing." Thorin shook his head. "Helping the matchmaking process."

"It's fun." Bilbo laughed some more. "You should try it some time."

-0-0-0-0-0-

Pairings seen for the first time: Past Elrond/Celebrían, Elrond/Lindir, Kíli/Elladan, Arathorn/Gilraen, and Bofur/Nori

Sorry to the Kíli/Tauriel lovers, but they aren't going to be together because she is not of a noble or royal line, and she is not Kíli's Soul Mate, which would have been the only way they would have been together. Thank you LadyLaran for pointing this out.

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 _Translations_

Faeven (Male) or Faeves (Female) = Sindarin for _Soul Mate_. Made from fae+benn: soul husband, or fae+bess: soul wife. I could not find the Sindarin word for spouse/partner, or I'd use that instead. I could be completely wrong about this translation though, so don't quote me on it.

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Italian for: Soul Mate.

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 _Timeline_

June 19th, year 2931: The Company snoozes through dinner and all night.

June 20th, year 2931: The Company joins Elrond for breakfast, Kíli discovers that Elladan is his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), Bilbo, Thorin, Hildifons, and Dáin meet Arathorn, Gilraen, and Aragorn, and Lindir gathers his courage to go public with the information that Elrond is his Faeven, (soul mate).

-0-0-0-0-0-

Estel/Aragorn was born on March 1st in the year 2931 of the Third Age. So in this story, (which is set in the year 2931 of the Third Age), so Gilraen gave birth to Aragorn around 3 1/2 months ago.

For those wondering where I got the information about the meanings of the flowers, (ebony and dogbane), head to AO3 and click on the link I have at the end of that Chapter 10. It has a very nice list of flower meanings that are good and bad.


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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After supper that evening, (and without a song or food fight, by some miracle of the Valar), Elrond asked for Thorin to accompany him to his study, Lindir staying by his side this time around instead of dismissing himself to go elsewhere. Naturally, Bilbo went with, along with Balin and Gandalf. Fíli, Kíli, Dwalin, and Dáin all tried to follow, but were waved away by Thorin. Thorin knew that Gandalf had told Elrond about his father's map. And although they didn't _need_ to translate it, there was no way for Thorin to explain how he knew where the secret message was hidden and what it said.

So it was best to just have it 'translated'. Of course, that didn't mean that Thorin would make it easy on Gandalf. The wizard had told Elrond about the map without Thorin consent, so the dwarf would 'argue' with Gandalf about showing Elrond the map. The map would give away the intent of their quest, but it was not up to Elrond to mark their path for them.

"I fail to see how our business is any concern of Lord Elrond and his kin." Thorin said to Gandalf.

"For goodness sake Thorin, show Lord Elrond the map." Gandalf said exasperatly.

"It is the legacy of my people." Thorin shot back smoothly, instead of snidely. "It is mine to protect, as are its secrets."

"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves!" Gandalf growled. "Your pride will be your downfall. You stand before one of-"

"The few people in Middle-Earth who can discover and translate any hidden text that we may have missed?" Bilbo cut off the gray wizard, who got extremely flustered and glared at the hobbit-fairy.

Thorin smirked, pushing down his chuckles before smoothing his face out again, knowing that Lord Elrond had not missed the look. Bilbo stuck his tongue out at the huffy wizard, which made him even huffier at "'pompous little hobbit-fairies". Balin sighed at the childish antics happing around him, with the ever long-suffering of one who had endured it all and must continue enduring it until the end of his days. Not wanting Gandalf to get the idea of turning Bilbo into something, _unnatural_ , Thorin stepped forward and made to give Elrond the map, but pulled back at the last second.

"This map was last held by my father, and his father before him, as an heirloom on my house." Thorin explained his hesitance. "Please be careful with it."

Elrond nodded, gently taking the map to unfold it and look at the contents. The elf lord's eyes widened when he saw what the drawing was of. He then composed himself as best he could. They may not actually be interested in Erebor itself, since Thorin had said that the map was last held by his father and grandfather, and Bilbo said that there might be a hidden message, quite possibly from Thráin or from Thrór.

"Erebor." Elrond said simply. "What is your _interest_ in his map?"

"As I said, this map was last held by my father." Thorin explained before Gandalf could offer his 'academic purposes'. "While any dwarf could read the runes visible on the map, I was wondering if he may have left a hidden message before it left his hands."

Elrond nodded his head, understanding the desire for a last message from your father, having lost his own father and mother to Valinor when he was very young. Gandalf begrudgingly admitted that Thorin's excuse was a good one, Balin was staring at Thorin while wondering where the lack of manners when it came to the elves had gone, and Bilbo was snuggling into Thorn's neck, silently praising his diplomacy skills. Elrond held the map up to examine it in the moonlight, saw a silver glimmer in the lower right corner, and comprehension of what it was that he was seeing was reached.

" _Cirith Ithil._ " Elrond said in his native tongue.

"Moon runes?" Gandalf echoed in the common tongue.

"What _are_ moon runes?" Bilbo asked, having never actually found out what they were.

"A special form of writing invented by the dwarves that uses a special silver quill and ithildin ink, which was made from mithril." Lindir, surprisingly, explained. "The method is rarely used anymore due to the dwindling amount of mithril -which can only be mined from Moria- that is needed."

"Moon runes are an easy thing to miss." Gandalf added.

"Well in this case, that is true." Elrond agreed as he studied the map more. "Moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as they day of which they were written on."

"Can you read them?" Thorin asked, though he already knew the answer.

Elrond nodded his head once and gestured for them to follow him. They left his study and went down a tunnel that led to a cavern in one of the cliff-faces. A waterfall cascaded down in front of the rocks, and a special crystal sat towards the edge of the outcrop, to where Elrond was leading them.

"These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly 200 years ago." Elrond said.

"Perhaps written by my father in Erebor, but not right before it left his hands." Thorin sighed as they reached the crystal 'table'.

Bilbo gently patted Thorin's cheek, and the gesture made him smile. Lindir chuckled softly as he recalled Bilbo comforting him the same way earlier that day. Elrond raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on his _Faeven's_ behavior. Lindir would tell him later, probably after a roll in the bed sheets.

"It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell." Elrond said as he laid the map on the crystal. "Fate is with you Thorin Oakenshield. The same moon shines upon us tonight."

The group of two elves, one wizard, two dwarves, and one hobbit-fairy looked at group of clouds that moved aside to show the crescent moon. The moonlight shimmered threw the waterfall and reacted with the crystal, which began to glow a bright white-blue color. Looking to the map, blue-silver dwarven runes appeared on the paper.

"Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the keyhole." Elrond read the runes aloud.

"A thrush, like a robin?" Bilbo asked.

"Or a bird in the same family." Lindir confirmed.

"And Durin's Day?" Bilbo kept up his 'curiosity'.

"It's the start of the dwarves New Year, when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together." Gandalf explained.

"And when is that this year?" Bilbo continued.

"October 24th." Thorin replied without hesitation, and then almost fidgeted when Balin gave him a look. "What?"

"And here you can barely remember when your sister's birthday is." Balin shook his head.

Bilbo fell off Thorin's shoulder as he laughed, landing on the crystal table. Thorin groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring the chuckles from Gandalf and suppressed snickers from Lindir. How was this his life? _How_? With a sigh, Thorin lowered his hand and poked Bilbo in the stomach, making the hobbit-fairy shriek in surprise.

"You're not helping." Thorin 'scolded'.

"What's your point?" Bilbo asked 'innocently'.

The comment produced even more laughs, even from Elrond and Balin. With an aggravated sigh, Thorin carefully picked Bilbo up by his wings, and held him at eye level. The two stared at each other until Bilbo stuck his tongue out at the dwarf, making sure he got spittle on him. With another sigh, Thorin wiped his face dry and tucked Bilbo into his chest pocket, where little giggles were heard until the hobbit-fairy settled down.

"It just means that he likes you." Gandalf said jovially.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you to keep your nose out of other people's business?" Thorin asked.

"It never works." Elrond replied for the gray wizard, who harrumphed at the words.

Thorin knew that it was wise to simply get the next bit of conversation that he could see in Elrond's eyes out of the way. They were on friendlier terms this lifetime, but that still didn't mean that Thorin wasn't concerned that the elf lord would try to stop the dwarves from reclaiming their homeland.

"Durin's Day is in a little over 4 months." Thorin commented as one on his hands rubbed his beard, knowing the reaction he would get from Balin.

"We still have the time Thorin." Balin replied. "We have to be standing in exactly the right spot, at exactly the right time. Then, and only then, can the door be opened."

"So this is your purpose, to enter the mountain?" Elrond questioned.

"Yes." Thorin said plainly.

"There are some who would not deem it wise." Elrond replied as he folded up the map.

Thorin was surprised to hear concern in Elrond's words, and not a rebuke. Looking up, the dwarf could also see the concern in the elf's eyes. Had it been there last time, even with Thorin so wrapped up in his anger that he heard everything twisted and warped instead of the way it was intended? Or was this a new development? Thorin reclaimed his map, but not with a jerk like he had last time, and a nod of thanks for his aid.

"There are those who would not deem living in Nogrod wise, but we haven't had much choice in that matter either." Thorin replied as he tucked the map back into his pocket, his words giving way to the shocked faces of Elrond and Lindir.

"Those mines are desolate!" Elrond exclaimed. "Why would you stay there?"

"What of your other kin in the Iron Hills?" Lindir asked, overlapping his _Faeven_.

"Náin and Dáin could only take so many without straining to feed everyone who was already living there." Thorin shook his head. "And the Broadbeam clan of _Tumunzahar_ was the only other of the dwarf kingdoms that offered us shelter because we gave them shelter after Khazâd-Dum fell in the First Age, but that was offered after Azanulbizar. We know the mines are desolate, and the fields we have are worthless according to a nomadic hobbit of the Took Clan who looked at them 5 years ago. Said that if he had come even 2 years sooner they could have been saved, but it's too late now. We have to find a new home, and soon."

"Is Erebor truly your only option?" Elrond asked.

"Unless we want to camp on the plains of Dunland again, and be at the mercy of orcs and bandits with no mountain protection around us." Thorin replied.

Elrond felt an unpleasant twist in his stomach. He knew that the dwarves of the Longbeard clan had it rough after they lost Erebor to Smaug, but he wasn't aware of how bad it truly was until just now. This is what happened when you only left your home to dispatch the occasional band of orcs. You fell _way_ behind in the important news of Middle-Earth.

"If there is anything Rivendell can do to aid you, simply let me know, and I will do all that I can to help." Elrond promised.

"Got any accountants you can't stand?" Thorin asked, referencing the treasure hoard in Erebor.

Balin snorted, which set off chuckles and laughs from everyone else. Really, was that a trick question? They all started back down the tunnel to Elrond's study with the occasional snicker breaking loose, which set off more laughs. Once there, Balin and Thorin bade Elrond, Lindir, and Gandalf good night. Bilbo had fallen asleep in Thorin's pocket. Once alone on the way back to their rooms, Balin stopped Thorin about mid-way there.

"Alright you, where did the manners come from?" Balin demanded.

"They've always been there Balin." Thorin replied with an amused look. "Along with my sense of humor and witty sarcasm."

"Thorin." Balin scolded.

"The elves and dwarves have been at war with each other since the First Age, Balin." Thorin sighed and started walking again. "The hostility between our races won't lessen until someone takes the first step to bury the hatchet. For Kíli's sake, I'm taking that step."

"For Kíli's sake?" Balin blinked in shock.

"Kíli's _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate) is one of Lord Elrond's sons." Thorin sighed. "Which one, I am not sure. Kíli would probably be able to tell you."

Balin hummed as he processed this new information from Thorin. He hadn't even noticed that young Kíli had found his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate); he had been a bit busy trying to get Dwalin to speak with his own _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), young Ori, (and was epically failing). But if Thorin was on his best behavior for his nephew's sake, his attitude over the last couple of days made a lot more sense. Thorin, of course, was on his best behavior because Bilbo had threatened to withhold hobbit cuddling time after he got back to his normal size, but no one else in the company ever needed to know that little tidbit of information.

Even though they now knew what the map said, Thorin was still going to have them stay in Rivendell a few day, if only for Kíli to get to know his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). Thorin just wanted a comfy bed for a few more days, before they were forced out into the wilds again. Plus, he was hoping that Lord Elrond might know something that would help Bilbo be able to transform back into his normal hobbit form. Thorin missed his normal-sized hobbit cuddles.

No, he wasn't pouting at the thought.

 _He wasn't!_

Okay, maybe a little.

…

Don't tell Bilbo, he'd never hear the end of it.

-0-0-0-0-0-

The next day, Thorin announced what the map had shown the previous night, which Ori diligently recorded in his book. Several of the dwarves wanted to high tail it out of Rivendell then and there, but were overridden by Thorin stating they needed the rest. Despite the toughness that they claimed, the dwarves were still worn out from the trolls and the orcs mounted on wargs chase, so they were taking a few days to recover.

So recover they did. They all broke up into small groups to explore the Last Homely House East of the Sea. Nori and Bofur went to find a new garden to spoil and elves to scare. Ori ditched Dori and ended up with Dwalin as a bodyguard while he explored the library. Dori was taking the time to redo his braids while conversing with Balin about something political. Bifur was carving a new toy while Óin looked at his axe wound. Fíli had ended up getting dragged to the kitchens with Bombur, and Kíli was down at the training grounds with Thorin.

Bilbo spoke with Elrond as they ate breakfast, asking if they could speak in a private location. The elf lord agreed, so Elrond, Lindir, and Bilbo made their way to the elf lord's study. Once there, Bilbo landed on Elrond's desk, and began to nibble on some of the fruit that was kept there for a snack. Elrond simply smiled, and patiently waited for the hobbit-fairy to speak.

"What do you know about my kin?" Bilbo asked. "In their original fairy form."

"That they were very cheerful, loved to play pranks with their talents, and brought smiles to all who came into contact with them." Elrond replied.

"Is it true we participated in the Last Alliance at the end of the Second Age?" Bilbo questioned.

"Yes." Elrond nodded. "They were a beacon of merriment during those bleak years."

"You wouldn't happen to know how we changed forms, do you?" Bilbo asked a bit meekly.

"I am afraid I don't." Elrond shook his head. "Any of you kin that I met already knew how to change between their original form and normal form."

"Ah." Bilbo pouted, and his wings drooped.

Bilbo had really hoped that Elrond knew how his ancestors changed their forms. Hildifons had been trying to get his nephew to be able to switch for 7 weeks, and they hadn't really gotten anywhere with it. Bilbo felt that something was missing, and he hoped that it wasn't that Lady Yavanna decided to take away his ability to change until after Erebor was reclaimed.

"You will be able to change your form." Elrond did confirm. "I received a vision of the future when I first saw you. You were in your normal hobbit form, lying on a bed in a room of stone, which I now assume is within Erebor. You were wrapped in furs on the bed, red faced and tired, but happy, with a babe lying in your arms. Thorin Oakenshield was by your side."

Bilbo perked up at the news. Part of him wondered if Elrond had seen the same future last lifetime, and the other part didn't care. A smile spread across the hobbit-fairy's face. A future with Thorin and Frodo sounded wonderful… he just hoped that he could make it happen.

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"Kíli." Bilbo flew over to the dwarf, who was reattaching fletching to his arrows while Thorin went through his paces with _Orcrist_.

"Hm?" Kíli acknowledged Bilbo, but kept his main focus on his weapons.

"Nothing is going to happen if you don't talk to him." Bilbo said, making the dwarf's hands still.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kíli stated, and began to work again.

"Nephew." Thorin stopped what he was doing sat down next to him, keeping his voice low. "Bilbo is right. Nothing is going to happen between you and your _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate) if you don't speak with them."

"I haven't met my _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)." Kíli denied.

"Right." Bilbo's smile was that of a sneaky matchmaker. "And I'm an orc who likes to dance naked in meadows filled with pink polka dotted goblins and blue stripped wargs."

That statement made Thorin and Kíli pause to give Bilbo weird looks. The hobbit-fairy just grinned at the younger dwarf, who slowly inched closer to his uncle. Thorin chuckled and shook his head at the antics Bilbo brought to his family. How did he think he could live without his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)? Life was too boring that way. Kíli turned his head so fast poor Bilbo got bystander's whiplash. Thorin groaned as he realized he had spoken out loud.

"What?" Kíli gasped. "When?"

"April 12th, 2931 of the Third Age." Thorin replied.

It didn't take long for Kíli to put two and two together. Thorin and Bilbo had known since before the quest had even started! Doing an excellent impression of a fish, Kíli pointed back and forth between his uncle and the hobbit-fairy that was their burglar. Bilbo found himself giggling at Kíli's facial expression, which also made Thorin laugh. His uncle laughing is what snapped poor Kíli out of it.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Kíli demanded.

"Why haven't you?" Thorin shot back, and then grew serious. "Kíli, are you scared that I'll reject you because your _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate) isn't a dwarf? Because that would be very hypocritical of me."

"No!" Kíli denied, and then his face twisted in confusion. "Yes? Kind of?"

"The real point?" Thorin asked.

"He's immortal." Kíli sighed. "How can I possibly be his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)?"

"Actually, Elladan, Elrohir, and their sister Arwen, can choose a mortal life." Bilbo interjected, making Kíli look at him in even more shock. "Their father and uncle had the same choice at the end of the First Age. Elrond chose an immortal life, while his brother Elros chose a mortal life, and became the first of the Kings of Númenor. Elrond's children can make the same choice."

"How do you know that living a mortal life isn't what he wants?" Thorn asked.

"Stop pointing fingers at me!" Kíli protested. "And you still didn't answer my question. Why didn't you tell anyone that Bilbo is your _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)?"

Thorin frowned as he thought about that one. The original reason was… he forgot. A small laugh escaped Thorin as he shook his head. Bilbo was rolling his eyes, as if he knew what the dwarf was thinking. Thorin shot the hobbit-fairy perched on his nephew's shoulder a look.

"I actually forgot the reason, if I did have one." Thorin admitted. "It probably made sense back then, but in all honesty was really stupid."

"At least he admits it." Bilbo whispered to Kíli, making the dwarf laugh.

It was then that Elladan and Elrohir entered the training grounds, dressed in sleeveless tunics, pants, and knee high boots. After spending around 20 years around the twins, Bilbo could easily tell who was who, but knew that Thorin didn't know, and Kíli only knew which one of them was his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), but not what his name was. Bowing to each other, the twins drew their swords and began to spar.

Kíli was entranced by Elladan, though he didn't know his name. The fluid movements while he wielded his sword were also strong and deep rooted. Thorin was watching their forms and the way they handled their limbs and where they stepped while they practiced. Bilbo just yawned. If you've seen one elf practice in the training ground, you've seen them all.

But it was definitely worth it to watch Elrond and Glorfindel spar with each other.

Bilbo fluttered off Kíli and gently gave Thorin's hair a tug. The dwarf followed the hobbit-fairy out of the training ring, knowing that Kíli wouldn't act on his feelings if his broody uncle was hanging around. Elladan and Elrohir were both amused as the caught sight of Bilbo leading Thorin Oakenshield out of the training grounds by his hair, but they didn't let it stop them from their practice.

Elladan was determined to show off what he could do for the dwarf prince, Kíli. Elrohir happily agreed to help get his brother together with his _Faeven_. Elrohir knew who his _Faeven_ was, but Haldir's duties as a Marchwarden to the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn wouldn't let him leave Lothlórien until they dismissed him from their service. Maybe their father coming forward with Lindir as his _Faeven_ would spur the elf into doing something besides hold hands when his grandmother visited.

The spar came to a halt when Elrohir disarmed his brother and had his sword at his throat before Elladan could recover his sword. With a glare, Elladan took his finger and pushed his brother's blade away from his neck. Elrohir laughed, and then stopped when he caught sight of a small assembly from Lothlórien, Galadriel and Haldir as part of the group. With a grin, Elrohir skipped out to greet them. Elladan just rolled his eyes and went over to where he kept his bow.

The elf knew that Kíli's eyes were on him. Elladan was hoping that Kíli would speak with him, and the best way to do that was by igniting a common interest. Elladan hadn't missed the bow and arrows in the dwarf's hands when he had first seen him on the plains outside of Rivendell. While Elladan hadn't had a sloppy archery posture in _years_ , it was probably the quickest way to get Kíli's attention. Arrow after arrow flew down the range, each hitting the center of the intended target, but Elladan was purposely holding his arm to high. If his guess was right, it really shouldn't take too much longer for Kíli to…

"You're holding it wrong." Kíli said as he wandered over his own bow and arrows.

"Oh really?" Elladan asked in, what he hoped, was a teasing voice.

"Really." Kíli replied with his own teasing tone. "Never thought I'd see the day when a dwarf would have to correct the archery form of an elf."

Elladan laughed, and allowed Kíli to correct his body position. It wasn't until they were done shooting their arrows that Kíli realized that Elladan had purposely shot with the incorrect form to get his attention. The elf certainly had his attention now. The next round they shot, Kíli purposely shot wrong, making Elladan stare at him with disbelief. Kíli just smirked, because two could play at this game.

Oh, yes they could.

-0-0-0-0-0-

" _Our newest kitchen maid is complaining that they are under enormous strain, and that we are two barrels short of wine_." Lindir reported with a sly look on his face as he recalled the look on Lady Eithadis' face when she was sent to the kitchens to work while he and Elrond walked through the city that afternoon. " _How much long do you think the dwarves and hobbits will be with us_?"

" _That has yet to be decided_." Elrond replied with a smile of his own, which fell off his face as he came to a sudden halt, Lindir stopping next to him.

12 naked dwarves, (Thorin and Kíli being elsewhere), and 1 hobbit, (Hildifons), were in one of the main fountains in the city. They were laughing and having 'the time of their lives', as some would call it. It was a sight neither of the elves had wanted to see or truly wished to see ever again. As they shared a glance with each other, the same thought was in their heads.

' _Thank Eru Ilúvatar that Elladan and Elrohir never thought of that_.'

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Thorin and Bilbo were standing in another doorway to the courtyard as watched the company, plus Dáin and Hildifons, splash around in the fountains. Okay, Thorin watched, Bilbo had his head turned to give Thorin a look. The sight of his kin starkers in the middle of Rivendell made Thorin realize that he had forgotten to limit them to splashing around in the bathtubs. Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He really hoped that Elrond's attitude wouldn't go down the river after this.

"Thorin." Bilbo scolded.

"I know Bilbo." Thorin sighed, and marched over to the fountain. "Bath time is over. Out."

There were groans all around, but they all got out. Laughs, yells, and questions of where their clothes where, (the elves had taken them per Elrond's orders once he had gotten over the sight of the dwarves in the fountain), were heard as they grabbed towels. Laughter had them all turn their heads to see a tall elf woman dressed in a long white dress and long golden hair that simmered in the sun. Those who had never seen the Lady Galadriel before were jaw dropped at her beauty. And those who had seen her, (Bilbo on his way to Valinor and Thorin as he watched his son after Khazad-dûm), were still just as stunned as the first time. Galadriel smiled at them all, happiness and joy in her eyes as she viewed the children of Aulë and Yavanna together.

"It is good to see all of you enjoying yourselves." Galadriel said.

No one was able to say anything, but there was a sudden rush to cover the nakedness from the beautiful lady. Bilbo giggled and flew to perch on Thorin. But instead of his shoulder, Bilbo perched on top of his head. The dwarves stared at the hobbit in shock, he knew that hair touching was a no-no unless you are family or your significant other. And they were even more startled when all Thorin did was roll his eyes.

Thorin would deal with them panicking about Bilbo touching his hair later, (not that he minded)… when the company wasn't completely naked, save for a towel.

"Get your clothes, they should be in our rooms." Thorin ordered with a smile of his own.

The dwarves scrambled, still sneaking glances at Galadriel, who was still smiling a pleasant smile at them. They had never had an elf smile so nicely at them, save Lord Elrond, but those were 'I liked that joke, please tell another one' smiles. Once the dwarves and single normal formed hobbit were gone, Galadriel turned to Thorin and Bilbo. Her eyes softened, and gave them a nod before she turned to go find her son-in-law.

"She's even more… I don't know how to describe it, in person." Thorin admitted.

"She has that effect." Bilbo agreed. "I guess that's what happens when you live as long as she has, seen the things she's seen, fight the battles she's fought…"

"What _is_ her story?" Thorin asked, finding himself curious.

Instead of answering, Bilbo grabbed one of Thorin's braids and tugged him along. The hobbit-fairy led his dwarf down the hallway to a secluded balcony that none rarely went to… Bilbo had frequently come here when the company first came to Rivendell and again when he retired from Hobbiton. They quickly got situated, Thorin leaning against the rail and Bilbo sitting on a decoration column that put him at eye level with Thorin.

"Galadriel was born in Valinor during the Years of the Trees, before the First Age even began." Bilbo launched into the story. "She was the niece of Fëanor, son of Finwë. Fëanor was the creator of the Silmarils -special jewels he had crafted that contained the light of the two trees, (Laurelin and Telperion), made sacred by Varda so that none of condemned hands could touch them- and also of the seven Palantíri. Now, Fëanor loved the Silmarils with a fierce and jealous love, much like the way a dragon loves it's treasure hoard, either showing them off a great feasts or storing them away in a locked vault. That fierce loved also encompassed all other items of great beauty."

"Dragon sickness existed back then?" Thorin interrupted.

"Yes, but I don't think they had that name for it since the dragons weren't created by Morgoth until the First Age." Bilbo nodded, and continued the tale. "Galadriel's golden hair was said to have caught the light of the two trees, which was rumored to have inspired her uncle to make the Silmarils. It is said that Fëanor had begged for Galadriel for a tress of her hair three times, and three times she refused him, seeing that he was consumed with a dark greed.

"Now let's jump ahead to the 3019th year of the Third Age, when Gimli humbly asks for 1 strand of golden hair to treasure in memory of her words at their first meeting." Bilbo smiled, as Thorin began to make the connections. "This hair would be set in crystal as an heirloom of his house and a pledge of goodwill between the Golden Woods and the Lonely Mountain. She gave him three. Three times she refused her own flesh and blood when she was begged with the one having a longing to possess, and once freely given when asked for with a desire to remember and to forge friendships."

"Wow." Thorin whispered. "Glóin has always said that Gimli would do great things one day, but I don't think that was what he had in mind…"

"Probably." Bilbo agreed. "I don't think Gimli ever knew the true meaning behind his gift."

"Well I do now!"

Thorin and Bilbo _jumped_ in shock at the loud voice. They had not noticed that there was someone else with them, since the entire company was drying off and getting dressed. Standing there dressed for travel, hands on his hips, fiery red hair and bushy sideburns, was Gimli, son of Glóin. On his chest was a crystal that held three golden hairs within.

"Well… fuck."

"Bilbo!"

-0-0-0-0-0-

Pairings seen for the first time: Mentioned Elrohir/Haldir of Lothlórien

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 _Translations_

Cirith Ithil = Sindarin for: Moon Runes

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

Faeven = Sindarin for: Soul Mate (male)

Nogrod = Sindarin for: Hollow-House; Tumunzahar = Khuzdul for: Hollow-Building/House

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 _Timeline_

June 20th, year 2931: Midsummer's Eve, Elrond reads the Moon Runes.

June 21st, year 2931: Bilbo asks Elrond what he knew about his kin during the Second Age, Kíli and Elladan start to spend some quality time together, fountain bath, the dwarves meet Lady Galadriel, and a time traveling Gimli catches up to the Company.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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Bilbo was completely unashamed at his choice of words. He blamed the dwarves for his completely unrespectable behavior… 110%. Thorin and Gimli were flabbergasted at what the little hobbit-fairy had said. It was something they would have expected _Thorin_ to say, not the oh-so-polite hobbit. Bilbo just blinked, and watched as the two did some pretty good expressions of fish.

"Are you two done acting like a pair of halibuts?" Bilbo asked as he examined his fingernails.

Mouths snapped shut with a pair of - _clicks_!- making the hobbit-fairy giggle. Thorin and Gimli glowered at Bilbo, who just laughed even more. The glares and giggles dominated their attention so much that they failed to notice several other dwarves had followed the sounds of Bilbo laughing to the secluded balcony. Of course, when they started yelling…

"Gimli!?" Kíli yelped.

"What are you doing here?" Fíli asked in shock.

Of course, that got the attention of the other members of the company. Glóin was the loudest in demanding what in all of Middle-Earth was his 62 year old son was doing in Rivendell. Gimli, who had tucked the crystallized hairs of Lady Galadriel under his shirt long before his father had gotten there, simply waited until they had all run out of steam and sat down to catch their breaths. It was quite a funny picture, and made Bilbo and Hildifons keep giggling with each other while Gimli stared at them and blinked, having never known about their fairy forms.

"Are you done now?" Gimli finally asked, sounding as sweet as his mother, Súna, did after listening to her husband rant.

"No!" Glóin wheezed out before he double over again, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes." Bilbo and Hildifons said flatly.

"But-!" Glóin tried again.

"Enough." Thorin interrupted firmly. "Unless Lord Elrond has someone to spare as an escort, and if I wasn't convinced that an elf bringing Gimli back to the Blue Mountains would spark a war, he will have to come with us… despite his age."

Gimli grinned and fist pumped, which was mimicked by Fíli and Kíli, who were excited at having their younger cousin come with. Balin, Dwalin, Bifur, and Dori resigned themselves to watching out for the younger and reckless generation, Ori, Óin, Glóin, (for their own various reasons), were annoyed that there was no way to send Gimli back besides an elven escort, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, and Dáin really didn't care to much if Gimli stayed or left, and Bilbo, Hildifons, and Thorin were wondering how much the future would change with Glóin's son traveling with them.

"I got a totally unrelated to this topic question." Nori butted in. "Why didn't you freak out when Bilbo landed on your head earlier?"

All eyes turned to Thorin. Kíli was the only one who knew the answer, but it was still fun to see his uncle squirm a little bit. Thorin sent his nephew's smirk a withering look. Kíli just snickered behind his hand, making his brother and a few others glance at him before they focused on their king again.

"I didn't freak out because Bilbo…" Thorin paused and waited for Bilbo to fly to his shoulder. "Because Bilbo is my _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)."

And there was that lone cricket that chirped so loudly during the silence.

Voices rose all at once, making Bilbo plug his ears at the noise. Thorin let his kin throw their temper tantrums for a few minutes, and then intervened.

"Shut up and sit down!" Thorin bellowed. "Now, if you have a question, raise your hand. When you are pointed to, you may speak."

12 hand rose in the air, Thorin, Bilbo, Gimli, Kíli, and Hildifons being the only ones who didn't have questions. Thorin pointed to Balin, hoping that his cousin and longtime friend would keep a level head while asking his question.

"How long have you known?" Balin asked, making several hands drop.

"April 12th, 2931 of the Third Age, when we met for the first time." Thorin answered, and then pointed to Bofur.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bofur questioned, dropping more hands.

"If there was a reason, it's long forgotten." Bilbo shrugged. "And it just never came up otherwise."

There were protests, demands that they tell the truth, but neither Bilbo nor Thorin could explain why they didn't tell anyone that they were each other's _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). Then came the talk of the two courting properly, which made Thorin glance at Bilbo, and the hobbit-fairy burst out laughing again. There was just no way for Thorin to put a courting braid in his hair until he figured out how to change back to his normal size, and Bilbo didn't want to attempt to braid Thorin's until then.

They would just have to wait.

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If Elrond was surprised at the sight of 15 dwarves at his dining tables instead of 14 dwarves at his dining tables, he didn't show it. Lindir double checked and counted to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Elladan and Elrohir sat with the dwarves, (Elladan stationing himself next to Kíli), and soon the two elves and Fíli, Kíli, and Gimli were planning a prank on Lady Eithadis.

"And your travelling companions keep getting even more interesting, Gandalf." Elrond commented as he sipped on his glass of wine.

Gandalf just shook his head as he kept a wary eye on Gimli and his companions. Bilbo hummed as he ate his supper, a delicious stew of some type, and Thorin was in conversation with Arathorn. The man and his small family had joined them for dinner, and the rest of the dwarves had completely fallen in love with the 3 month old baby Aragorn. Gimli had been dumbstruck at the sight of the wee little baby who had led the Fellowship after Gandalf had fallen in Khazad-dûm, but recovered quickly enough to play Peek-a-boo with Aragorn using his napkin.

"Are all dwarves like this with children?" Gilraen asked Bilbo.

"Oh yes." Bilbo nodded. "The younger the child, the more silly they act."

"Hey!" Thorin protested.

"You do, even if you won't admit it." Bilbo smiled back.

The dwarf groaned, making Arathorn to chuckle at poor Thorin's teasing. Bilbo was grinning at Thorin's reaction, and at how much he liked Arathorn. Bilbo wasn't going to wait around 20-50 years for Aragorn to grow into manhood and get some worldly experience before destroying the ring. He'd be 60-90 years old by then, and was not willing to let Frodo do his job again! His best bet was to wait 8-10 years, mainly so Gimli could be of age for this next mission because there was no way that the dwarf would remain behind on a quest to Mount Doom, _again_.

At that point the envoy from Lothlórien arrived. Amongst them was Haldir, who bucked up his courage to sit with Elrohir at the dwarf table, and the Lady Galadriel. Silence fell for a few seconds, and then talk continued a touch muted then normal. The tall female elf just had that effect on people, even her own kin. To the surprise of all, (even Bilbo for some reason), Galadriel seated herself next to Gimli, who blushed a fierce red color that showed clearly on his face, his bushy sideburns not really hiding his flustered state. Glóin mistook his son's sudden shyness as anger, but a sharp look from Thorin ended any words before they left the dwarf's mouth.

Elrond stared before he sighed and shook his head. His mother-in-law was several thousands of years older than he was, and had forgotten more than he would ever remember. She had once spent a time in Khazad-dûm, and it was rumored that she'd even learned the secret language of Aulë's children, but it was unknown if she truly had. But simply put, no one told Galadriel what she could or could not do, unless you were the Valar… and even then it could not turn out neatly.

Galadriel made small talk with the dwarves at the table, and they slowly relaxed around her. They really started to get along when she began to laugh at a lewd joke Bofur told, Dori scolding him the whole time she laughed while most of the table cackled along. Thorin rolled his eyes, but also smiled. He liked Galadriel a lot more than he did Thranduil.

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Three more days passed by in the Last Homely House east of the sea, days spent with the dwarves and elves getting used to one another without constant threats to the other, veiled or stated bluntly. Elladan and Kíli grew closer as they spent one on one time with each other. Fíli was happy for his baby brother, but spent most of his time spying on the two… Yes Fíli, conveniently ending up in the same room as your brother and his date for the fourth time in one day is spying, and some would go as far to say you are stalking.

Gimli spent most of his time with his father, hiding his snickers as he watched Fíli try and fail to be inconspicuous while watching Kíli and Elladan, or calmly staying in the presence of Galadriel, who smiled at the young dwarf every time she saw him. Glóin was at his wits end about how and why is son was acting the way he was around the Lady of the Golden Woods. Óin just rolled his eyes and kept his ear trumpet down while restocking his medicinal supplies.

Bifur and Bofur had a sudden slew of carved items scattered about their rooms. Bilbo found out that Bifur wanted to make a carving for Galadriel, but nothing he made seemed right. The carvings deemed not good enough for here would be sent back to the Blue Mountains for Bombur's wife to sell while her husband and brother/cousin-in-laws were gone. Bombur himself was making cram/lembas bread, (or something of the like), in the kitchens for their upcoming travels, calmly ignoring his brother and cousin arguing about the wood to use and what design to carve.

Balin kept himself from groaning every time he saw Dwalin staring at Ori but not _doing_ anything about it. Dori seemed to know that Dwalin was interested in his younger brother, and returned to their rooms one evening with a smug look on his face… Dwalin came in a few minutes later looking like he had been strung up by his thumbs and left to hang. Nori kept dragging Bofur off to use nearly all of the horizontal surfaces, and several vertical, in Rivendell as a 'bed'.

One morning, Thorin woke to Bilbo on his chest. The hobbit-fairy had a sad look on his face, but still smiled at the dwarf.

"We need to leave tomorrow morning." Bilbo whispered.

Thorin blinked, and sighed as his mental calendar caught up with him. It was June 21st. The White Council would be meeting late that night into the early hours of the morning. Saruman would try to halt their quest, and they will have already have left Rivendell as the dawn peaked into the city. Rubbing his eyes, Thorin hummed as he acknowledged Bilbo's words. He didn't want to leave his nice warm bed and three square meals a day that were easily worked off by the antics of his nephews, but it was time to continue on.

With a groan, Thorin pushed himself up, giving Bilbo the time to fly off and not get crushed under a large hand or leg. But Bilbo didn't fly off, he slid down Thorin's chest and stomach with a giggly "Whee!" before flying to the end table that held his bowl-bed. With a smile and a sigh, Thorin pushed himself up and walked over to the bed Fíli and Kíli were sharing. The two had always had to share a bed due to lack of space back home in the Blue Mountains. Their entanglement of arms, legs, and hair, was always something that baffled Thorin, but he never tried to untangle them, or put them in separate beds to avoid the entanglement.

He'd done that _once_ before… it hadn't ended prettily for anyone.

"COLD!" Kíli yelled at the top of his lungs as the icy water in Thorin's cup splashed onto his face.

The yell woke Dáin, Hildifons, Balin, Dwalin, and Fíli. Poor Fíli was dragged out of the bed by his brother due to their interwoven limbs, just like he had been for nearly every other morning for his entire life. Balin and Dwalin groaned at being awoken by the young prince's screaming, and Dáin just plopped his head back down to start snoozing again. With an eye roll, the normal hobbit sized Hildifons grabbed his husband by his ankle and dragged him out of the bed. Dáin bellowed for a brief time, until Hildifons pressed a kiss to his nose. That silenced the dwarf immediately, placating him to the point of sappiness.

"Ew." Fíli groaned.

Kíli just rolled his eyes. Ever since he had found his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), he didn't find the sappy looks that spouses and fiancé's would give each other as gross anymore, especially since he was certain he was making the same types of looks at Elladan. Fíli would get it once he found his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), or his close enough match.

"Now that you're awake, I have news." Thorin said as he put the cup back on the nightstand. "We leave tomorrow morning."

There were some half-hearted cheers. Glad to be back on the quest, sad to leave the comfy place they had been allowed to rest at. Kíli's face dropped drastically. He only had one more day to spend with Elladan, and then it would be close to a year, or longer, before they would be able to see each other again! So unfair!

"I would suggest that you exchange courting gifts with Elladan before we leave." Bilbo whispered as he perched himself on Kíli's left shoulder. "Do you have anything you could give him?"

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Kíli watched his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate) from the doorway to the training grounds. Elladan and Elrohir were once again sparing with each other, limbs moving as fluid as the river and feet planted as firmly as an oak tree. The elvish fighting style, which appeared almost like they were dancing, differed greatly from the dwarves, who preferred to plow through their opponents like a battering ram. But it suited their long limbs to be able to get in to kill their opponents quickly and to get out of the way of the other guy's weapons just as fast.

Gulping, Kíli clenched his hand. He was by no means a master smith like his uncle or brother, he could make a dagger or sword, but it wasn't his strong suit… and didn't want to give Elladan shoddy work. His true art lay with the gems that were mined. Working with gold, silver, or bronze metals and setting priceless gems in their carved rivets had brought in a fair amount of money while their home still have gems to be set in bracelets and necklaces. But he had not the time or the tools to make Elladan anything before they left.

Opening his clutched hand, Kíli looked at what he was going to give his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate). The rune-stone that his mother had given him. On it were the words " _Innik dê_ ", which meant "Return to me". Both himself and Fíli had one, carved painstakingly by their mother before they left. His was carved into a blue labradorite, and Fíli's was carved into a green labradorite, but both carried the same word. Both had promised they would return to Dís daughter of Thráin, and would carry the stone as a reminder.

But now, Kíli felt it was only right that Elladan should have it instead, as a promise that one day he would come back and court him properly, or that Elladan would court him properly… they'd work out that detail later.

"Kíli?" Elladan asked.

Kíli looked up. The brothers were done sparing, and Elrohir was now with a blond haired elf that had come to Rivendell with the Lady Galadriel. Kíli's lips twitched into a smile, but it didn't stay there long due to nerves. Elladan cocked his head before sitting down on a bench and patted the spot next to him. Kíli gulped and placed himself by the elf.

"Uncle said that we're leaving tomorrow morning." Kíli stated with a sigh.

"So soon?" Elladan asked, having thought the dwarves would be with them for another week or so.

"I know." Kíli nodded unhappily. "But we do need to go, especially now that we have a deadline of Durin's Day."

"Do dwarves hold their coronations at certain times of the year?" Elladan asked after a pause. "Always in summer or winter?"

"No." Kíli chuckled while shaking his head. "At least, the Longbeards hold the coronation 40 days after the death of the previous king, if possible, though I'm told that it doesn't usually happen during the winter due to the bad weather conditions. The Firebeards on the other hand, always do it on the summer solstice."

"So, when would your uncle be crowned?" Elladan continued to question.

"Probably late next spring or early next summer, when all the dwarf rulers and their court can make the journey to Erebor." Kíli smiled, figuring out that Elladan was trying to figure out the next time they'd see each other. "It's still nearly a year away."

"Maybe father will send an envoy with some food to help aid our distant neighbor through the winter." Elladan shrugged.

Kíli laughed. That was a pleasant thought. It could happen.

"I have something for you." Kíli said, glancing at the elf and back to his hands. "A talisman."

"Oh?" Elladan raised an eyebrow.

"A powerful spell lies upon on it so that none but a dwarf can read the runes that are carved into this stone." Kíli replied seriously. "All others will be forever cursed."

Elladan pulled back with a startled look on his face. Why would Kíli want to curse him? And then Kíli's lips twitched, making Elladan realize that he had been tricked… and he had fallen for it. He and Elrohir did this sort of thing to each other and other elves in the city all the time. Elladan laughed softly as he shook his head at his forgetfulness.

"Or not." Kíli laughed as he continued. "Depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing. It's just a token, a rune-stone. No spells or magic."

"A rune-stone?" Elladan asked.

"Yeah." Kíli nodded. "My mother gave it to me before we left, as a reminder of my promise I'd come back to her. She worries… apparently she thinks I'm reckless."

"Are you?" Elladan asked with a small smirk.

"Nah." Kíli cheekily grinned back.

The two laughed some more, knowing that wasn't true. With a soft smile, Kíli took the rune-stone and placed the labradorite in Elladan's hand. Elladan stared at the stone, and the runes carved into it. Part of him wondered what on earth Kíli was doing in giving him this, and the other part was doing a happy dance because he knew exactly what it meant.

"Kíli, you can't give me this." Elladan shook his head half-heartedly. "Your promise-"

"Is for you as well." Kíli interrupted. "The runes say _Innik dê_ , which means 'Return to me'. And I will return to you _Amrâlimê_ … and to my mother."

"Kíli, I don't speak the dwarven tongue." Elladan found himself shaking his head again. "I don't know what that word means."

"I think you do." Kíli whispered.

And somewhere, deep down inside… Elladan knew exactly what Kíli had told him.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Later that evening, the company was gathered in one of their rooms. Everyone was packed and ready to go, though Gimli admitted that he had never unpacked. Bifur tossed another log onto the fire they had made in the fire pit, (instead of breaking and tossing in pieces of furniture like last lifetime), before seizing a green vegetable. Even now Bilbo still couldn't figure out if Bifur wanted to eat the leafy greens, or toss them into the fire.

Thorin was leaning against the wall, smoking his pipe in a combination of Old Toby and Southlinch. Odd choice, but Thorin found he liked the sharp Southlinch paired with the warmly mellowed Old Toby simply because it reminded him of himself and Bilbo. Bilbo was relaxing, as well as one could relax with Fíli and Kíli around, in his bowl-bed, trying to store up energy for the incoming rough weeks.

Ori was snoozing at Dori's insistence, the older dwarf checking their packs for the eighth time that evening. Nori was semi-snoozing with his head on Bofur's lap, while Bofur was wrapping the carving made for Galadriel, a butterfly made from maple that flapped it's wings when the winch on its lower abdomen was turned. Bombur and Óin were going over their food and medical supplies next to him.

Thorin was just about ready to ask Óin to slip Fíli and Kíli a snoozing agent so they could sleep for the few hours that they had before their really early morning. The brother's kept snickering as they made faces at each other over Dwalin's head. Balin knew it was only a matter of time before his brother rounded on the prince's and had them going through their paces, and had strategically made sure he was next to Glóin and Gimli. Gimli was sleeping, and Glóin was going over possible money losses they could face on the next leg of their journey. Dáin and Hildifons were on one of the beds, snuggled together as they rested.

While Bilbo had initially not liked Dáin at all, he had warmed up to the jovial dwarf, thinking of him as another one of his cheerful uncles. The dislike had steamed from Dáin not helping Thorin when he had first called for aid before the quest even began, and it had increased after Thorin's death. It seemed unfair that Dáin got the rule Erebor after Thorin had done all the hard work. But those feelings had begun to disappear last lifetime after hearing what Dáin had done when one of Sauron's Black Riders unexpectedly showed up at Erebor one day, sixteen years or so after his 112th birthday.

The Nazgûl had offered the dwarves an alliance with Sauron, wanting information on hobbits: specifically Bilbo Baggins. He also wanted aid in tracking down the One Ring, with the added offer of 3 of the 7 dwarf rings returned to them. Dáin had remained indifferent the first conversation, but had shot a flaming arrow at the Nazgûl the second time, telling the creature where he could stick his petty words and that the next time they would meet would be on the battlefield. Bilbo was convinced that Thorin III Stonehelm, and possibly Hildifons if he was still alive, had threatened the dwarf with unimaginable things if their nephew/cousin-by-marriage came to harm. If Hildifons had been still alive at that point, he would have been about 174 years old… so it was most likely he had passed on before Bilbo had even made his journey to visit after his 111th birthday.

Trying to shake the thought that he had never gotten to know his hobbit and dwarf uncles or his hobbit-dwarf cousin, Bilbo flew out of the room and onto the balcony. Thorin put out his pipe and followed, knowing the look on Bilbo's face well enough to know that the hobbit-fairy was in need of good companionship. The hobbit had gotten down the stairs leading off to the left before Thorin caught up and plucked Bilbo out of the air. Bilbo squeaked, (though he continued to deny it), and found himself relaxing again before both of them realized that Gandalf and Elrond were on a nearby path. The dwarf and hobbit-fairy stiffened as they recalled the conversation that was once again playing out before their eyes.

"Of course I was going to tell you, I was waiting for this very moment." Gandalf's voice carried. "And really, I think you can trust that I know what I am doing."

"Do you?" Elrond questioned. "That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail… if you wake the beast?"

"What if we succeed?" Gandalf shot back. "If the dwarves take back the mountain our defenses in the east will be strengthened."

"It is a dangerous move Gandalf." Elrond sighed.

"It is also dangerous to do nothing." Gandalf replied. "Oh, come now, the throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright. What is it you fear?"

Thorin's lips pinched as he recalled Elrond's words last lifetime. About how a strain of madness ran in his family, that his grandfather and father had both fallen to the insanity, and what assurances could be offered that he too wouldn't follow in their footsteps. It had been a conversation that had dug up doubts and fears that he had tried to keep from existing, but they were always there.

"Originally I feared that Thorin Oakenshield would fall to the sickness of the mind like his father and grandfather." Elrond admitted, and Bilbo's wings perked at the new conversation. "Now I fear that the dragon will burn them all before turning his wrath on all of Middle-Earth, or that the orc packs that hunt them will do them in."

"Originally?" Gandalf hummed in amusement.

"Out of the entire statement I just gave, _that_ is what you picked up on?" Elrond gave Gandalf a look.

"Humor an old man." Gandalf shot back. "We are hard of hearing."

"Selective hearing is more like it." Bilbo muttered, making Thorin chuckle lowly.

"The outcome of this quest now is also the outcome of my son's life." Elrond sighed. "Whether they succeed or fail will affect Elladan's survival. His survival is now in the hands of Kíli, son of Víli."

"No pressure." Thorin sighed as the conversation faded from their range of hearing, with Elrond and Gandalf walking towards where the remainder of the White Council, Galadriel and Saruman the White, were waiting to hold counsel.

Bilbo hummed in response. Once again, the life of one of Elrond's children was at risk due to a quest a Baggins was on. Last lifetime, it had been Frodo, Arwen, and the One Ring. This time it was himself, Elladan, and the bad appetizer known as Smaug, with an equally horrid main course of Azog and Bolg. Thorin sighed and turned to head back up the stairs, Bilbo still in his hands. Once inside the chambers, all of the remaining members of the company who were still awake turned to look at their leader.

"Sleep while you can." Thorin ordered. "We leave before dawn."

-0-0-0-0-0-

There were grumbled curses as the dwarves and hobbits awoke. None of them wanted to wake so early, but it was time to go. Gathering their packs, the company did one last sweep of their rooms and headed towards the gate. Once again, they had to leave the ponies behind, though this time it was because Elrond had suggested that they take the high path through the mountains to avoid goblin traps that were becoming more common on the lower paths. The path higher in the mountains were too narrow for the ponies, so they would be sent back to the Blue Mountains. Bilbo, who was flying a bit above the dwarves' heads, heard a scuffle at the end of the line, and turned his head to see Elladan pull Kíli into an alcove. With a snicker, Bilbo flew to Thorin and perched on his shoulder.

"Looks like Elladan is taking the next step." Bilbo whispered.

"Oh?" Thorin whispered back with a soft chuckle.

Once they reached the large gate, (which Nori had to pick the lock on, again), Bilbo looked back to see that Kíli sprinting after them to catch up. He carried a new hip quiver, which was made of stag hide with special etchings of a deer and Kíli's name, and was filled with new arrows made of oak wood and eagle feather fletching. Both items had been made by Elladan. The young dwarf was clutching the gift to his chest, as if he was afraid it would disappear. Fíli said a few teasing words to his brother, making Kíli throw a one handed punch at his sibling, which was easily dodged.

"Boys." Thorin said softly, but it carried just as much weight as if he had yelled at them.

Fíli and Kíli immediately shaped up as Nori got the lock unlocked. Thorin led them to the left, following the route that Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring had taken for a brief time veering off that path to walk another route that was further to left, directly into the Misty Mountains. The terrain they were walking on quickly changed from the smoothly paved elven road into a rugged path commonly found in the mountains.

"Be on your guard, we're about to step over the Edge of the Wild." Thorin instructed. "Balin, you know these paths. Lead on."

"Aye." Blain nodded and began to lead the company.

Thorin turned to do a head count so that Bilbo could take a final look back at the city that had once been his home. It had been a wonderful place to live, a place where some old hurts had healed for a time. But now, Bilbo had a new future to look forward to, and hopefully he wouldn't need to come back here to heal the hurt of losing his dwarven family again. With a smile and a nod, Bilbo let Thorin know it was okay for them to go. With his own smile and nod, Thorin turned in time to catch Fíli and Kíli trying to slip a spider, (where had they even gotten that thing?), down the back of Ori's cardigan.

Those boys were going to turn his hair gray before they even got to Erebor.

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Translations_

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

Innik dê = Khuzdul for: _Return to me_.

Amrâlimê = Khuzdul for: _My Love_. Nick-picked apart it means amrâl = love, im = of, ê = me, or love-of-me. Not the nicest of translations, but it is what it is.

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 _Timeline_

June 21st, year 2931: Gimli gains Thorin's approval to join the quest, and the company finds out Bilbo is Thorin's _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate).

June 22nd - 24th, year 2931: Rest and recover in Rivendell, (June 23rd is 8 weeks after departure from Bag End.)

June 25th, year 2931: Kíli gives Elladan his rune-stone as a courting gift and a promise to come back so they can court properly (afternoon), and the White Council meets (late evening).

June 26th, year 2931: Elladan give Kíli a new quiver and arrows as a courting gift, and the Company departs from Rivendell (at dawn).

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Yes, I did take parts of Kíli and Tauriel's conversation from the Mirkwood dungeons and the shores of Long Lake after Smaug's attack on Lake Town, and gave it to Kíli and Elladan. Not exactly the same, but enough to get the point of just what is going on between the two across.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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While Bilbo had enjoyed traveling through the Misty Mountains better this time, (the views were _amazing_ ), he was still flat out miserable the late evening of July 9th… or was it the very early morning of July 10th? They were in the thunderstorm that Thorin had insisted they press through so they would get to the cave that would drop them into the Goblin Tunnels. Neither Thorin nor Bilbo were happy with having to get caught by the goblins and fight them again, but Bilbo only knew where and when the One Ring, and Gollum, would be for a short amount of time.

They couldn't risk going back into the goblin tunnels after crossing the Misty Mountains.

Bilbo and Hildifons were in their fairy forms, clinging to the neck and hair of their respective _Anima Gemella_. Bilbo had warned Hildinfson about the Stone Giants, and the potential of having pull someone up off the cliffedge if they fell. Hopefully, they'd be able to avoid that incident.

"Steady!" Thorin called back through the gale. "Hold on!"

"AH!" Ori yelped.

"Careful!" Dwalin's yell could be heard over the wind and rain.

Without looking back, Bilbo knew that Bofur and Dwalin had pulled Ori, who was standing where Bilbo had stood in the line last lifetime instead of behind Dwalin, back to safety after the scribe stumbled on a loose rock. It wouldn't be too much longer before the Stone Giants started chucking house sized rocks at each other.

"I'm so cold and wet that I'm starting to fear that my dangly bits won't ever come out of hiding." Dáin called from behind Dwalin. "I'm really going to need some hot stuff to help me get back to normal."

Of course, there was some new added commentary this time around. Bilbo hadn't realized how much Dáin could spice things up before, but he quickly realized it now.

"No one wants to know about your sex life, cousin." Gimli hollered back, earning a couple of sharp reprimands from his father and uncle and cackles from Fíli and Kíli.

And Gimli too… just leave it to the red-heads.

"Or soon to be lack of." Hildifons added with a sharp look to his husband, who just grinned back.

"Look out!" Dwalin shouted.

All heads turned to see a house sized rock hurtling towards them. It crashed about their heads, sending down rocks and extra water that had been caught on crevices further up the cliff wall. The dwarves and hobbits yelled as the sons of Mahal pressed themselves against the wall, allowing the stones to roll off their backs. Pulling away, everyone started to look into the distance as well as they could to see if they could spot where the rock had come from.

"This is no thunderstorm… it's a Thunder-Battle!" Balin's words carried over the tempest. "Look!"

All eyes saw the enormous being at the same time. It grabbed a rock from the cliff side and threw it at another of its kind. Heads followed to see the boulder crash into the second Stone Giant.

"Bless me…" Bofur said as he stood gawking. "The legends are true! Giants! Stone Giants!"

Another enormous rock flew through the air and crashed into a second Stone Giant that had been standing behind them. Fist sized hunks of rock bounced far and pelleted at the company. More yells as everyone but Bofur ducked.

"Take cover!" Thorin bellowed back, and Dwalin reached over Ori to yank Bofur back to safety.

The entire company pressed against the cliff wall as the bolder slammed into what Bilbo and Thorin knew was the chest of yet another Stone Giant above them. More shrieks rang out as the Stone Giant rose from its slumber, splitting the company in half between Fíli and Kíli, and moved to pulverize the others that had awoken it. Yells of terror came from just about everyone as their Stone Giant was head-butted by the one that had been behind them. The giant stumbled, the side of its left knee ramming into the cliff-path. Thorin hollered at everyone in his group to get off as quickly as they possibly could. Glóin, Gimli, Óin, Balin, Bifur, Nori, Dori, and Fíli followed their king and his hobbit passenger as fast as they could to safety.

They could only watch what was happening while the rest of the company was still in danger. Their Stone Giant punched the one that had head-butted it, knocking it down the canyon floor. Turning back, it received a stone to the face, knocking its head clean off by the Stone Giant that had thrown the first stone. Their giant stumbled around headless, and began to collapsed, the front of its right knee coming right at the cliff. Thorin watched as horror built up in him. Just because things had happened one way the last time, it didn't mean it would happen the same way this time. Bilbo whimpered as he clung to Thorin's neck, finding it scary to watch this event from a new perspective.

Kíli, Bofur, Ori, Dwalin, Dáin, Hildifons, and Bombur were all yelling as the knee went straight toward the cliff. And then it crashed, before pulling back to reveal no one was remaining on the Stone Giant. There were no blood splats, thankfully, but that still didn't mean there were no injuries, or deaths.

"Kíli!" Thorin yelled as the Stone Giant fell to the bottom of the ravine, and led the rest of the company around the bend, once again stopping short as he rounded the corner.

"We're okay!" Kíli gasped out once he saw his uncle.

"It's alright!" Glóin hollered back to those who hadn't rounded the corner yet. "They're alive!"

Thorin did a quick head count, not really taking in anything except that Kíli was okay. He started to walk forward to check his nephew over more thoroughly, and then got a suspicious feeling. So he looked down to the right side of his boots to see…

"Ori!" Bilbo yelled and darted out of his hiding place to grab Ori by the wrist.

The young dwarf was in the very same position that Bilbo had been in last lifetime, dangling over the edge of the cliff. They were very fortunate that he hadn't fallen instead of grabbing the ledge like Bilbo had. Hildifons had heard Bilbo's cry and immediately zipped out of hiding to help his nephew. Between the two of them flapping their wings as hard as they could in the wet rain, they were able to keep Ori at boot level even as he lost his grip. Thorin and Dwalin grabbed Ori by his forearms, mindful to not hurt the hobbit-fairies, and hauled him up. Ori lunged into the arms of the first person he could, and it just turned out to be Dwalin. The warrior froze for two seconds before relaxing and gently held the younger dwarf, patting him on the back.

"Thought we'd almost lost our scribe." Dwalin managed to comment.

"Thankfully, that didn't happen." Thorin replied. "Let's find a cave to wait out the rest of the storm."

Fíli and Kíli found the entrance to the goblin-trapped cave on the cliff ledge they were on. The company spilled inside, wanting out of the cold and wet. Bilbo was shivering and sneezed a couple of times, prompting a couple of concerned looks from Thorin. The looks lessened when a few others in the company sneezed as well.

"Looks safe enough." Dwalin said, still holding Ori.

"Search all the way to the back." Thorin ordered, knowing it was pointless since it was empty, but still had to keep up appearances. "Caves in the mountains are seldom unoccupied."

Kíli lit their lantern and checked all the way to the back with his brother to make sure it was empty. Everyone gathered inside, Ori not protesting Dori's frantic checking to make sure he wasn't hurt, but that could have been because he hadn't let go of Dwalin… and wasn't about to any time soon if the tightness of his grip was to go by. With a sigh, Bilbo stood up on Thorin's shoulder, looked around, and flew to a rock at the back of the cave to shake himself off. Thorin checked his pack and thankfully found Bilbo's spare clothes dry. The dwarf held up one of his hankies for Bilbo to change behind, and then passed it along to Dáin so Hildifons could to the same.

"Right." Glóin said as he set down some, surprisingly, dry firewood. "Let's get a fire going."

"No, no fires." Thorin cut in before Glóin could reach for his tinderbox, his hand on the cave wall. "Not in this place"

"Aye." Bofur added with his hand also on the cave wall. "We'll choke on the smoke long before our clothes are dry. The only way for the air to go out is the cave entrance, there are no hidden holes in the ceiling. The wind from outside ain't promoting any circulation."

Glóin nodded, accepting the word of the miner with a strong sense for the stone. Bilbo felt his mouth shape into an 'oh'. _Now_ he understood why Thorin refused to let Glóin light a fire last lifetime. Thorin had strong stone-sense, as it was called. The very stone would somehow "speak" to him the way plants could "speak" to hobbits, letting the dwarves know if there was unstable ground ahead or how to get from one side of the mountain to the other without getting lost. Thorin would never get lost underground, but above ground left a little bit to be desired. To compensate for this, Thorin had become very good at reading maps, as long a wizard hadn't messed with them and purposely led you in the wrong direction.

"Get some sleep." Thorin instructed. "We'll see if the path is still usable in the morning."

"We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf had joined us." Balin hissed quietly.

"I said we'd see if the path was still usable, not that we'd leave right away." Thorin whispered back and turned to the rest of the dwarves. "Bofur, take first watch. Dori you have second watch."

"Aye." Bofur nodded his head and positioned himself just inside the entrance of the cave.

Everyone else groaned and wrung out their damp clothes as best as they could, and those who had a spare set to change into did so. Thorin reorganized his pack again so that many of his belonging would be on his person, knowing that much would be lost in their tumble down into Goblin Town. He wanted to keep as much of his belongings on him as he could, like his pipe and tobacco pouch, because he needed it after a day with his nephews and Dáin joking around. Practically every other member of the company followed Thorin's example, thinking that maybe their king might be expecting a bandit attack, or something similar, in the middle of the night. With a sigh, Thorin settled down for the night, not bothering to take off his weapons.

"Are you ready?" Bilbo whispered as he perched himself on Thorin's shoulder.

"Not really." Thorin murmured back. "But what choice do we have?"

"I know, I feel the same." Bilbo sighed and snuggled up into Thorin's neck. "This next part of our journey is one of the few times that absolutely terrify me. Azog right after Goblin Town and the Battle of Five armies are the other times."

"Gollum?" Thorin whispered.

"Yes." Bilbo said so quietly that Thorin had almost missed it, despite the hobbit-fairy being right next to his ears.

Bilbo knew that Gollum was the result of a hobbit coveting the ring for too long, and had long feared that it would have, or possibly will happen, to him if he held onto the ring. The sooner that damned piece of jewelry was destroyed, the better.

"Get some rest." Thorin murmured. "We won't get much more until we reach Beorn's house."

"You to, you stubborn dwarf." Bilbo 'whispered' back 'quietly'.

"Be quiet you impish hobbit." Thorin 'sighed'.

The other members of the company who were still awake either muffled their snickers or just laughed softly at the interaction between Bilbo and Thorin. It was nice to see Thorin with his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), and how it helped him relax. He didn't take his mind off the quest, but he wasn't being such a perfectionist about doing things anymore. Eyes slid closed, and they all drifted off to sleep.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo and Thorin woke when the floor dropped out from underneath them. The only item's Thorin planned on losing in this tumble were his pack, which was mostly empty, his blanket, and a tin of stale rations. Everything else, (spare clothes, pipe and pipeweed, personal journal and ink, extra coin, etc.), he had managed to get into his pockets and boots. Hopefully he'd be able to keep the goblin's hands out of where they didn't belong.

Everyone else was yelling as they were tumbled and tossed down beneath the mountain range. Thorin managed to twist himself so he rolled out of the way and pulled himself up after he landed in the cage on the cliff edge. That didn't mean he hadn't been knocked breathless, but he would stand a better chance at beating off the goblins once they did show up. The rest of the dwarves were groaning as they landed and tried to get their bearings about them.

"Hide." Thorin whispered.

Thorin didn't know what would happen to Bilbo if the goblins found him or Hildifons, in their normal or original forms, but based on what he knew of hobbit-goblin history, it wouldn't be pretty.

"Take care of yourself." Bilbo whispered back, kissed Thorin's cheek, and flew back up the way they had just tumbled down.

Hildifons watched his nephew fly back up and tuck himself out of sight. He quickly found out why when he heard the sounds of goblins screeches. Dáin and Hildifons looked at each other. The hobbit-fairy kissed his husband on the side of the nose, and then followed Bilbo into his hiding spot just in the nick of time. Thorin jumped over the pile of dwarves, narrowly avoiding getting smushed by the last dwarf coming down the 'slide', Gimli, while drawing _Deathless_ from its sheath, and bellowing a battle cry as he charged the vile creations of Morgoth.

Gimli had landed on top of Bombur, and got a good upside-down view of the butt-ugly goblins running towards them. Of course, that set off the "young" dwarf's warrior instincts. Gimli followed his king, drawing his father's second best ax, which had been left at their home in _Tumunzahar_ , his battle cry echoing the son of Thráin's. Thorin and Gimli's reaction gave the company enough time to grab their weapons and get to their feet. They put up a good fight and killed many more goblins in these few minutes then they had last life time, but the dwarves were eventually overwhelmed, their weapons taken from them, and were forced to march into cages hanging off the edges of the cliffs.

"This stinks." Kíli grumbled from where he was forced to sit with Fíli, Óin, and Balin.

"At least we weren't killed." Ori pointed out from his shared cage with Dwalin, Nori, and Bofur.

"That's the only good thing." Dori sighed, Glóin and Bifur found themselves nodding in agreement while Gimli rolled his eyes at the pessimistic thoughts.

"Do you think they're going to starve us?" Bombur, poor Bombur, asked from the cage he was all alone in.

"Not likely." Thorin stated before everyone could start worrying, drawing all eyes to the cage he shared with Dáin. "We're probably going to end up being their dinner, so they try to fatten us up first with what pathetic bits of food they can scrape up."

"No need to sound so morbid." Bilbo commented as he and Hildifons slipped into the cage.

"Did you get the key?" Dáin asked eagerly.

"And risk being seen and getting our wings torn off?" Hildifons asked flatly.

"I heard some of the goblins talking." Bilbo quickly said, before groans could arise. "Apparently, their chief is not in the mood to see the 'trespassers' at the moment, and is in a more… theatrical mood. It means you have time for some shut eye, but I would recommend a watch to wake everyone when they do come."

Thorin had to keep himself from groaning. He was not in the mood to hear the Great Goblin sing again. In a desperate bid to keep him mind off that, he recalled something that Fortinbras had brought up before they left Hobbiton.

"What did your Uncle Fortinbras means when he said, 'Take care of my sister's son, or you'll find out exactly why the goblins rightfully fear my Great-Great-Great Uncle Bandobras Took'?" Thorin asked.

"Ah." Bilbo nodded his head. "Now that's a story."

Everyone perked up. Whether his stories were really or make believe, the company loved to hear Bilbo tell the tales. You could tell he was about to tell one when he said those four special words.

"This is the tale told of my Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle, Bandobras Took, affectionately called "Bullroar" by loved ones due to his loud bellow that could bring the most stubborn of bovine in from the fields." Bilbo began. "It was the year 2747 of the Third Age, so he was 43 years old, (that about age 108 or so for you dwarves), and amazingly stood at 4 feet 5 inches tall, the tallest hobbit that we have on record, and able to ride a horse while the rest of us had to contend with ponies.

"Now, word came that the goblins in Mt. Gram were amassing and terrorizing some of the inhabitants of eastern Eriador. Unfortunately, the Shire is included in Eriador, and it didn't take much to figure out where the vile creatures were going to head to next. Bullroar declared that he was not going to sit around and wait for the maggots to come to the Shire, but he would go and meet them in battle instead. A troop of hobbits, consisting mostly of our Bounders, rallied behind him and went to the Greenfield in the Northfarthing of the Shire.

"The goblins were led by their chief, Golfimbul, and the hobbits by the son of the Thain. The actual battle didn't last very long. With his trademark bellow, Bullroar spurred his horse forward to meet the goblin ranks. Golfimbul charged at him, intent on taking down the hobbit's leader. With his eyes so fixated on the horse charging towards him, and probably thinking about how a hobbit tasted if sautéed with a sprinkle of sage, he failed to noticed something in Bullroars right hand."

Snickers interrupted Bilbo when he mention hobbits being "sautéed with a sprinkle of sage". Thorin chuckled as well, recalling the eventful night with the trolls. Bilbo grinned and waited for the chuckles to cease before continuing.

"Bullroar swung up his right arm and _SMACK_!" Bilbo grinned when the dwarves jumped, just like the fauntlings at his 111th birthday. "Bandobras' wooden club had knocked Golfimbul's head clean off his shoulders. All eye followed as it was sent sailing through the air about 100 yards or so, where it rolled down a rabbit-hole. The goblins immediately lost their courage without their chieftain to guide them, and turned to flee. The hobbits pursued them, and were met by the Dúnedain Rangers of the North, who had been dealing with other scores of goblins across Eriador. Between the hobbits and the men-folk, not one goblin remain, save a few survivors who made it back to the Misty Mountains and spread tales of how their chief was defeated.

"And thus the Battle of Greenfields was won by the courage of a hobbit…" Bilbo smirked as he finished. "And the game of golf invented at the same time."

Laughter that was quickly muffled by hands or coat sleeves echoed through their section of cavern.

"I do believe you made up that last bit." Thorin chuckled.

"All good stories deserve at least one embellishment." Hildifons answered for his nephew.

With everyone more relaxed than before, the dwarves soon began to drop off. Thorin caught Dáin's eyes, and the dwarf nodded. Dáin would take watch before waking his cousin. Thorin lay on his back, wiggling a bit to try and get comfy. With a raised eye, Dáin asked what was up. With a sigh, Thorin held up his hair, to reveal the hilt of _Orcrist_ at the base of his neck and shoulders. He had tucked the sword under his coat after shaking the water loose while they had still been up in the cave, and strapped down _Sting_ completely to his thigh under his pants. _Deathless_ had been taken from him by the goblins, but at least he would have these two weapons.

Dáin nodded his approval of the hidden _Orcrist_ , even if it probably wasn't going to be that comfortable sleeping. With a sigh, Thorin closed his eyes for the second time that night, after making sure Bilbo was safely tucked in his shirt pocket. Tomorrow was going to be a rough one.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Dwalin's bellow woke Thorin from his slumber. He immediately knew that Dáin had awoken their cousin for the next watch instead of him. Bilbo quickly wiggled out of Thorn's pocket and zipped out the back of the cage with Hildifons. The hobbit-fairies once again watched at their dwarves were manhandled down the path towards the Great Goblin. Several were punched off the path and fell down to the bottom of the cliff. Once they were gone, Bilbo directed Hildifons where they needed to go to get one goblin's attention. Once there Hildifons went full-sized normal hobbit, grabbing a spare goblin weapon for protection.

It didn't take long for the goblin that Bilbo had dubbed 'Brute' to show up. A brief entanglement had Brute lunging at Hildifons, who changed to his fairy form and successfully dodged the attack. Brute's momentum carried him over the cliff edge and down into the lower tunnels where Bilbo knew that Gollum was waiting for a wayward goblin to become his next meal. Bilbo swallowed heavily as he landed on the cliff edge, knowing what lay down there in wait.

"Are you ready?" Hildifons asked as he landed next to the younger hobbit-fairy.

"Not one bit." Bilbo replied, completely honest.

"Me neither." Hildifons admitted. "I hope we don't run into that Gollum creature."

"Sad to say, that Gollum creature was once a hobbit." Bilbo admitted the part he had withheld. "One of the Stoors. He murdered his cousin and _Anima Gemella_ because it was his birthday and he wanted the One Ring that Déagol had just found at the bottom of the Anduin River. His greed is why hobbits now give gifts on their birthday, along with the reminder to never have such greed like Sméagol."

Now it was Hildifons' turn to gulp. That certainly put a damper on things. But they couldn't turn back now. Holding his hand out, Hildifons was relieved when Bilbo accepted. With one more deep breath the two hobbit-fairies flew down to the lower tunnels on goblin town, and hid in the mushrooms that Bilbo had landed on last lifetime. They settled in, praying to Lady Yavanna and Lord Mahal to keep their respective _Anima Gemella_ and their other dwarf kin safe.

There was nothing left to do now, but wait.

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 _Translations_

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Italian for Soul Mate.

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

Tumunzahar = Khuzdul for: Hollow-Building/House. Tumunzahar is more commonly known by its Sindarin name, Nogrod, which means: hollow-bold, 'bold' being an Old English word that means house/home.

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 _Timeline_

July 9th, year 2931: The Stone Giants, (late evening).

July 10th, year 2931: Captured by the goblins, (early morning), and kept in cages until the Great Goblin is "ready to see the prisoners" aka, he's working on that song of his.

July 11th, year 2931: The dwarves are taken to see the Great Goblin, and Hildifons tangles with 'Brute' so they could have bait for Sméagol/Gollum down in the lower tunnels, (late evening).


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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" _Clap, snap, the black crack  
Grip, grab, pinch, and nab  
Batter and beat  
Make 'em stammer and squeak!  
Pound, pound, far underground.  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!_

 _With a swish and smack and a whip and a crack,  
Everybody talks when they're on my rack!  
Pound, pound, far underground.  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!_"

Thorin was biting his tongue. _Hard_. Not enough to make himself bleed, but it was getting close to that. Listening to the Great Goblin trying to sing, (whom Thorin had later found out was called Balcmeg), had been on his "Avoid at all costs" list… the things he did for his hobbit, and the things his Bilbo did for all of Middle-Earth. They'd so better be getting massive "Thank you's!" from everyone later.

" _Hammer and tongs, get out your knockers and gongs,  
You won't last long on the end of my prongs!  
Clash, crash, crush and smish,  
Bang, break, shiver and shake_

 _You can yammer and yelp,  
But there ain't no help.  
Pound, pound, far underground.  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!_"

The dwarves had been shoved before Balcmeg as he started singing that awful song of his. Their belongings, such as their weapons, packs, spare clothes, food rations, etc. had been dumped into a pile not far from where they were. Thorin was hoping that they'd be able to get more back this time, but was willing to cut his losses. He was so lost in thought that Thorin only came back to reality when Dáin yanked his older cousin down to avoid Balcmeg's staff. He really didn't want to get pinned under that thing.

"Catchy, isn't it?" Balcmeg asked as he hauled himself back to sit down on his throne. "It's one of my own compositions."

"That's not a song." Balin yelled from the middle of the group. "It's an _abomination_!"

"Abominations, mutation, and deviations are all you're ever going to find down here!" Balcmeg bragged as he got to his feet to glare at any that his eyes could reach. "Now, who would be so bold as to enter armed into my kingdom. Spies? Thieves? Assassins?"

"Dwarves, your malevolence." Grinnah, one of the more intelligent out of the goblin ranks under the Misty Mountains, (but quite honestly reminded Thorin of Alfrid Lickspittle), answered.

"Dwarves?" Balcmeg yelled in a complaining tone, as if he was just told to take out the garbage for garbage day.

"We found them on the front porch." Grinnah tattled gleefully.

"Well don't just stand there, search them!" Balcmeg ordered. "Every crack, every crevice."

Thorin punched the goblin who tried to take off his pants, thankful that no one noticed the little bugger sailing off the cliff. The dwarf had to bit his tongue and his pipe and pipeweed were discovered. That was so unfair. Though he found himself baffled how none of the goblins noticed _Orcrist_ , but he wasn't going to complain. Though Óin was complaining about his smashed ear trumpet and having to get it out from under a goblin foot. Thorin did groan when Nori's pack was upturned and items from Lord Elrond's household came spilling out.

"It is my belief your protuberance, that they are in league with elves!" Grinnah exclaimed as he passed a candle bracket to his king.

" _Made in Rivendell_." Balcmeg read the bottom and then scoffed as he tossed it over the cliff. "Second Age, you couldn't give it away."

All eyes turned to Nori, who cringed under the look of an angry dragon that specifically came from Kíli. Was Nori _trying_ to ruin his relationship with his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate)?

"Just a couple of keepsakes." Nori mumbled as his hands signed in Iglishmêk, 'Lord give, bring King, dark woods'.

Thorin relaxed a touch. Apparently Elrond was trying to help them with the oh-so unpleasant King Thranduil. While he was grateful, Thorin didn't think that a couple of everyday items would appease the ruler of Mirkwood.

"What are you doing in these parts?" Balcmeg demanded as the goblins' finished their search.

"I've got this one lads." Dáin announced as he stepped forward.

"Here's to hoping Hildifons taught him when to hold his tongue." Balin groaned.

Thorin groaned as well, along with the rest of the company. Dáin wasn't known for subtlety, or being able to make up a convincing story on the fly. That was more Dís' department, but she wasn't here at the moment.

"No tricks!" Balcmeg demanded. "I want to whole truth, warts and all."

"Well you see you massiveness, we were on our way over the Misty Mountains to journey to see some of our kin in the Iron Hills." Dáin explained. "We didn't know the cave was your front porch, there wasn't a sign. Must have been knocked down during the Stone Giant battle, but we're terrible sorry for trespassing and all."

"SHUT UP!" Balcmeg bellowed.

Apparently if it wasn't a one sentence explanation, the Great Goblin didn't want to hear it.

"If they won't talk, we'll make them squawk!" Balcmeg called to his underlings. "Bring up the Mangler! Bring up the Bonebreaker! Start with the youngest."

Thorin had missed that Balcmeg had pointed to Ori last lifetime instead of Kíli, like he originally thought. Ori looked to be the youngest, but he was actually between Fíli and Kíli in terms of age. But _this time_ Balcmeg pointed to Gimli, who sneered at the goblin. Mahal preserve him, it was so hard to keep to the timeline so they could confront Azog on their terms, instead of the orc catching them while they were too far away from Beorn's to receive help. With a deep breath, Thorin step forward, out of the shadows of the group.

"Wait!" Thorin yelled.

The dwarves and goblins parted for the royal son of Durin to make his way to the front. The diseased right eye of Balcmeg grew even wider when he caught sight of the one who had spoken. He knew who this dwarf was. This dwarf was the one who's head the Defiler wanted. Recalling that there was a reward offered, Balcmeg's mouth began salivate at the very thought of possibly food, new weapons, or fresh girls to use at his disposal.

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Balcmeg asked, pretending to be surprised and gave a mocking bow. "Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór, King under the Mountain. Oh, but I'm forgetting that you don't have a mountain, and you're not a king. So that makes you… nobody, really."

Thorin yawned in response, not bothering to cover his mouth with his hand, feeling bored. He'd heard it all before, and those little tidbits of information didn't bite at him like it once had. Amazing what being dead for 90 years before coming back to life could do. Apparently, this hadn't been the right response to the "Great" Goblin, because his right eye began to twitch before an evil sort of look crossed his face.

"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head." Balcmeg stated conspiringly, feeling that he was going to touch a nerve with this information. "Just a head, nothing attached to it. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An old enemy of yours… a pale orc, astride a white warg."

"I knew there was possibility Azog the Defiler survived since we never found the body of that piece of filth after Azanulbizar." Thorin replied evenly, making Balcmeg stumble as he sat back on his throne.

"Well… he defiling days are far from over!" Balcmeg yelled, not pleased that he wasn't able to faze Thorin, and turned to his scribe. "Send word to the Pale Orc. Tell him 'I have his prize'."

Thorin felt his stomach flip-flop as he watched the little goblin with, (what appeared to be), no feet scribble down the note, and then ride his zipline into the darkness, cackling. Everything was on track. They'd be rescued by Gandalf, escape through the lower tunnels while taking out Balcmeg, wait for Bilbo and Hildifons to catch up, confront Azog (hopefully without being a warg's chew toy, but Thorin was willing to take one for the team), and escape with the help of the Great Eagles of Manwë.

Hopefully.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo and Hildifons sat waiting in the mushrooms. Brute the goblin was beginning to stir, making Bilbo bite his lip. Gollum would be coming around the corner at any moment now. Barely having time to think the thought, the skeletal once-hobbit came slinking out of the shadows. Hildifons shivered as he watched Gollum creep around the goblin while making comments about how good it would be to eat it. As Gollum started to drag Brute away, Brute reacted and tried to get the creature that haunted the lower levels of the tunnels off him. Gollum retaliated with a rock to the skull multiple times until Brute was knocked out again.

During the tussle, Bilbo watched as a golden ring flew out of a pocket of Gollum's loincloth. It seemed that it landed so loudly, (you might as well screamed that the ring was trying to escape its current holder), that the hobbit-fairy feared that Gollum would notice. Thankfully, he didn't. With one final knock to the skull, Gollum tossed aside the rock and began to reach for the stilled goblin again.

"Nasty goblinses." Sméagol panted before Gollum took over and grunted they began to haul away their next meal. "Better than old bones, precious. Better than nothing."

"That was creepy." Hildifons whispered after he was certain that Gollum/Sméagol was gone.

"I know." Bilbo sighed.

With a deep breath, Bilbo flew out of the mushroom patch, and landed a foot away from the One Ring. He absolutely hated that piece of metal that had ruined so many lives, and was nervous about touching it again. The evil whispers slipped into your mind so softly that you didn't even realize they weren't your own until it was too late. Hildifons landed next to Bilbo, and then cringed back. He could hear the ring softly calling for him to pick it up, to put it on.

"I'm scared." Bilbo's admittance cut through the dark murmurs.

"Why?" Hildifons asked.

"I'm scared that I'll fail." Bilbo replied. "That like Frodo, I won't be able to let go when I need to."

"You did once." Hildifons encouraged, remembering Bilbo's tale of his 111th birthday. "And you will be able to do it again."

"Thanks." Bilbo sighed with a smile.

The hobbit-fairy steeled himself, and walked over to the ring. Bilbo poked it with his foot, and it shrunk in size to fit his tiny fingers. Taking out a scrap of cloth that he had been using as a handkerchief, Bilbo picked it up, and tucked it into a pouch he had on his belt, and fastened it shut as quickly as he could. Once that was done, Bilbo shook himself, and tilted his head to the side as if he was listening for something.

"Odd." Bilbo mused. "I can't hear it."

Hildifons then noticed Bilbo's eyes were glowing a soft blue color. That was the indication that Bilbo had discovered and was using his unique fairy talent* was. It had activated when he had come into contact with the ring. Hildifons also realized that he could no longer hear the whispers that were coming from the ring. It was as if Bilbo being in contact with the ring, even if they were separated by several layers of cloth, somehow made it impossible to hear the Black Speech coming from it.

"Really?" Bilbo asked. "That's my talent?"

Hildifons glanced up, realizing that he had been muttering aloud again.

"That's my guess." Hildifons replied. "One that we should test when we're out of these tunnels."

"Good idea." Bilbo nodded. "Let's head back up and see if we can slip away any of our supplies."

"You're not going to confront him?" Hildifons asked, glancing towards where Gollum/Sméagol was now probably feasting on the goblin.

"Last time I spoke to him I told him my name and where in Middle-Earth I lived, and that led to him being tortured by Sauron's servants." Bilbo shuddered. "I'd rather avoid that if I could, have him wander about the goblin tunnels until his death."

Hildifons nodded, recalling that Bilbo had spared Gollum/Sméagol last lifetime, and all the pain that it had caused. By not confronting Gollum/Sméagol now, Bilbo was now changing the timeline. Hopefully it would turn out better than last lifetime.

-0-0-0-0-0-

" _Bone will be shattered, necks will be rung!_  
 _You'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung!_  
 _You will die down here and never be found,_  
 _Down in the deep of Goblin-Town!_ "

Thorin cringed at the horrid singing, along with the rest of the company. The dwarf was pleased that he wasn't the only one who found the voice of Balcmeg grating. While it was the only thing that distracted him from the sight of the torture racks coming his way, Thorin could only take so much more of the off-key sounds. Where was Gandalf when you needed him?

Grinnah shrieked right in Thorin's ear, jerking back. The goblin had finally discovered that Thorin had hidden _Orcrist_ under his coat, and had pulled at the hilt of the sword to get it away from the captive, screaming in horror upon recognizing the elven sword. Grinnah suddenly pulling away had yanked the sword the rest of the way out of the hilt, and Thorin somehow avoided getting his hair cut or his neck severed when the sword fell to the wooden floor.

The reaction was instant. All the goblins began howling in fear upon seeing _Orcrist_. Balcmeg stumbled away, squashing several of his minions in the process, as if looking at the sword would kill him.

"I know that sword!" Balcmeg yelled in terror. "It is the Goblin-Cleaver! The Biter! The blade that sliced 1,000 necks! Slash them! Beat them!"

Several goblins picked up whips and began to lash them down on the dwarves, while others physically tried to tackle them. The company tried to fight back, but they were quickly overwhelmed due to the sheer numbers and no weapons of their own in their hands. Dáin bellowed in outrage when Thorin was pinned to the ground by several goblins, and another standing over him with a dagger.

"Kill them! Kill them all!" Balcmeg ordered. "Cut off his head!"

It was right after that the pulse of magic burst through the cavern. Everyone was knocked over, not one remained standing. Even the torture devices were tossed aside and into the black abyss by the force of the magic. Thorin recovered as the light began to come back into the room and managed to roll away from goblins. One hand closed around the hilt of _Orcrist_ , the other snagged his pipe and pipeweed from their pile of belongings and stuffed it back into his pocket, because there was no way he was going to go without for the rest of the journey.

"Take up arms." Gandalf commanded with _Glamdring_ in hand, and Thorin lurched to his feet, _Orcrist_ now at the ready. "Fight. Fight!"

"He wields the Foehammer!" Balcmeg wailed once he saw Gandalf with _Glamdring_. "The Beater! Bright as daylight!"

Gandalf and Thorin were able to provide distraction long enough for the company to grab the majority of their weapons, not all of them, but it was definitely more than last lifetime. Thorin bent down and picked up _Deathless_ before grabbing Nori's quarter-staff and tossed it to the dwarf, and then did the same with Dori's bolas. Both had been left behind last lifetime, but were Nori and Dori's primary weapons. Ori had his glowing little dagger out, (he had named it _'Ukshakush_ (Tiny Surprise) while traveling the Misty Mountains the past couple of weeks), and was doing and excellent job applying the lessons he had been receiving from Dwalin. On top of that, the young dwarf grabbed Dwalin's war hammer and sent even more goblin's flying.

"Thorin!" Nori warned.

Balcmeg lumbered forward with his bone staff raised to remove what he deemed to be a threat. Thorin turned and parried Balcmeg's bone staff with _Orcrist_. The ricochet sent the Great Goblin tumbling over the edge of the cliff, taking several of the lesser goblins with him. By that point, most everyone had their main weapons with them, but were forced to leave behind a few of their secondary weapons, and any remaining supplies they hadn't managed to keep hidden from the goblins hands.

"Follow me, quick!" Gandalf ordered and lead them on the path that would eventually bring them out the east side of the Misty Mountains. "Run!"

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo and Hildifons were sitting out in the setting sun. They'd managed to gather the remaining left behind weapons and supplies using a rope and a tarp that had been stolen by the goblins from a passing caravan. After their gather, the hobbit-fairies slipped back to the lower levels, where Bilbo could use his memory to guide them out. They did have to pause to avoid a frantic looking Gollum a couple of times, but managed to slip passed unnoticed.

Bilbo kept his eyes on the sun and glanced back to where the dwarves should have been running from. Hildifons kept pacing as he looked in the direction Bilbo did. The Tooks were never very patient when it came to their loved ones being in danger. Before long, the sounds of heavy footfalls reach their ears. Wings and ears perked, they watched the dwarves come running down the hill with one tall wizard dressed in gray amongst them.

"Glóin, Gimli, Dáin, Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur." Gandalf counted off. "That makes 15 dwarves."

"And two hobbit-fairies." Thorin added as Bilbo and Hildifons zipped over as quickly as they could.

"With the rest of our supplies!" Dáin cheered.

"Thank goodness." Gimli sighed as he sat down and began to dig through his pack for some snacks.

"And some food for our smallest members." Thorin said while drawing out the pouch of dried fruit and nuts he kept on hand for Bilbo and Hildifons.

"Yummy!" Bilbo cheered and dove in, knowing he was going to need his strength when the company confronted Azog and his pack of orcs and wargs.

"We all could probably use a brief snack." Gandalf agreed. "But we cannot linger long. The sun will soon set, and the goblins will follow us with the desire for revenge. We did kill their king, after all."

"Correction, _you_ killed their king." Thorin amended.

"Details, details." Gandalf brushed aside. "We were all there, sans Bilbo and Hildifons, so we're all guilty in their eyes."

The dwarves groaned, and complained to each other about how the wizard kept dragging them into things that they wanted no part of. First the Shire, (thought they had quickly changed their opinion about that after meeting Bilbo and Hildifons), the next was Rivendell, (it was a nice place to rest, and bravo to Kíli for finding his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), but some warning would have been nice), and now they were all guilty of killing Balcmeg, (that one was _all_ Gandalf).

A warg's howl made Bilbo's wings stiffen and point straight up. He knew from the howl alone who that warg was. Azog's mount, Vrasubatlat, the alpha and matriarch of her pack. She was just as ruthless as her orc, Azog being the only creature in all of Middle-Earth that she deemed worthy of riding her. Bilbo did not like that warg, simply because she had tried to make Thorin a chew toy the last time he had seen her up close.

"Out of the frying pan." Thorin groaned as he tied off the bag of snacks while Bilbo hid himself in Thorin's hair.

"And into the fire." Gandalf finished. "Run. _Run_!"

With their supplies reloaded, the dwarves took off running down the mountain side again. Bilbo wasn't sure how long they had ran for, only that the sun had definitely set behind the western side of the mountains, but the wargs quickly caught up to them. The dwarves swung their weapons to keep the large canines off them, bellowing war cries.

" _Gelekh d'ashrud bakhz_! (Time to swing a war hammer!')" Ori cried as he smashed Dwalin's war hammer into the skull of a warg, making the dog drop dead.

"I keep forgetting how violent Ori can be." Bilbo sighed while Thorin wielded _Orcrist_ in a way that many would be jealous of.

"He did go with Balin to Khazad-dûm." Thorin reminded the hobbit-fairy, as if they explained everything… and in a way it did.

"Up into the trees!" Gandalf's yell was heard by all, letting them know he had reached the cliff edge. "All of you, climb! Climb!"

The dwarves began to hoist themselves up into the pine trees. Dwalin grunted when Bofur used his head for a boost, but didn't complain. You needed a lot of momentum, a boost up, or a hand up in order to get into the pine trees. Very few had lower branches to climb up. Thorin grunted as he situated himself in the same tree as Balin and Dáin. Even from a distance away, Bilbo watched as Gandalf use his staff to pluck a moth from the branches, and whispered to it before letting it fly away with his message.

The hobbit-fairy looked back down from his hiding spot in Thorin's hair as the wargs stopped growling, indicating that the leader of their pack had arrived. Thorin growled softly as he spotted the pale orc. His personal grudge against Azog had actually grown from last lifetime now that he saw him, due to the orc having slain Fíli and himself, and the spawn of the defiler having killed Kíli. Bilbo poked the base of his skull, bringing Thorin out of the past so he could focus.

"Azog." Thorin said grimly, if only for the sake of Gimli, who had never seen the orc before.

"He's ugly!" Gimli's voice rang out from behind them, making Thorin chuckle briefly at the gall of the younger generation.

" _Nuzdigid? Nuzdi gast?_ (Do you smell it? The scent of fear?)" Azog stated to his underlings before signaling Thorin out. " _Ganzilig-i unarug obod nauzdanish Torin undag Train-ob._ (I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thráin.)"

Thorin was having to take deep breaths so he wouldn't go off the deep end at the mention of his father. At least the scum hadn't brought up his deceased brother. Dáin growled from above Thorin, making the king remember that his cousin also had a score to settle with the piece of scum. Losing your lower leg was hard thing, even if it was during the war.

" _Kod toragid biriz._ (That one is mine.)" Azog directed. " _Worori-da!_ (Kill the others!)"

The wargs began their attack once again, leaping at the trees and trying to grab the ankles of the dwarves in them. Thorin used _Orcrist_ to kill the ones that got to close, but wouldn't risk him falling out of the tree if he missed. They were forced to climb higher for their own safety, but thankfully the lower branches couldn't support the weight of the wargs, breaking the branches.

" _Sho gad adol!_ (Drink their blood!)" Azog's words spurred the creatures even more.

Sadly, all the jumping made the trees weaken at their roots, and start to topple. They had to jump from tree to tree until they were all in Gandalf's tree. Azog laughed evilly, until a flaming pinecone from Gandalf made the wargs near the base of the tree back off. The laughter ceased as Azog watched dumbfounded. How had he missed the wizard?

"Fíli!" Gandalf called and dropped a flaming pinecone down to him.

Gimli immediately lit another one off of Fíli's, and passed the same technique onto Kíli. Dori and Glóin received pinecones next, and passed more flame onto their families. Soon the air was filled with flying fiery pinecones. The wargs and orcs yelled in pain as some of them were hit by the pinecones and were forced to retreat behind a pissed off looking Azog for safety.

" _Ikhf' id-ursu khazâd!_ (Feel the fire of the dwarves!)" Bifur yelled as he threw his pinecones.

"Someone is happy." Bilbo mumbled in Thorin's ear.

It was then that the tree started to fall. Thorin immediately tucked himself into the trunk and held on. When the movement stopped, Thorin looked up in time to see Ori slip off the tree and grab Dori's boots to keep himself from falling further. Bilbo carefully crept out of his hiding spot, fluttered along the tree trunk, and over to Ori's hands. Hildifons joined his nephew.

"I'm getting that sense of déjà vu." Hildifons noted.

"Shut up." Ori, poor Ori, moaned.

Thorin panted as he looked around again. He now had a choice to make. The eagles wouldn't be there for another couple of minutes. Did he stay put and risk an unknown future by not charging Azog… or did he repeat his previous lifetime and attack Azog? There were pros and cons to each, but there was no time to debate them. The biggest thing that was keeping Thorin stationary was the fact that there was no _Sting_ wielding Bilbo to stop executioner orcs this time.

But the decision was made for him. Some of the wargs started making their way around the flames to get close to the tree full of dwarves, hobbits, and wizard. Thorin quickly stood up and made his way off the tree. He wasn't going to get close to Azog, but he wasn't going to let the entire company become warg chow either. With his oaken-shield firmly on his left arm, (but this time left the cord he used to carry it around his body because he didn't want to accidentally leave it behind again), and _Orcrist_ in his right hand, the dwarf engaged his opponents in battle. _Orcrist_ glowed blue and sang the song of combat as it was wielded by the dwarf, smiting Thorin's foes as they drew to near. As Thorin turn his head after dispatching the last of the group that had come at him, he found himself face to face with Azog's bitch.

The orc's mace came down at him, and Thorin was barely able to roll out of the way in time. Vrasubatlat's breath smelled awful, but she quickly backed off when _Orcrist_ nearly sliced her left eye open. The company watched in horror as Thorin was forced further away from them and closer to the rest of the warg pack. Azog laughed evilly again as he finally managed to hit the dwarf with his mace. Thorin went flying, landing with a terrible thud. He tried to get up and out of the way, but Azog's mace knocked him down again.

"No!" Balin yelled as they company was forced to watch.

"Thorin!" Dwalin hollered as he tried to quickly pull himself up, but the branch began to crack under his weight, forcing him to move slower.

This time when Vrasubatlat got closer, she got her jaws around the dwarf. Thorin yelled in pain as some of her teeth poked through his chainmail, and again as she adjusted her grip. Thankfully, Thorin's shield saved him from the worst on his front, and his sword arm had not been pinned down, so he was able to strike the white warg, even managing to draw blood this lifetime before she tossed him away to tend to her pain. Thorin panted as he tried to get back up, but the day was quickly catching up to him, and his adrenaline rush was fading. As he collapsed on his back, the dwarf's eyes went to _Orcrist_ , which had been flung from his hand when he landed. It was nearby, but not within immediate reach.

" _Biriz torag khobdudol._ (Bring me the dwarf's head.)" Azog ordered one of his minions.

The orc dismounted as made his way over the downed dwarf, relishing in the cries from the other dwarves stuck on the tree. They would have to make their way through another small group of wargs if they wanted to help their king, but he was too far away for them to reach, even if they started running now. The orc raised his sword to deliver the final blow to the so-called 'king', who was still struggling to reach his sword.

And next thing he knew, he was flying… no, he was _falling_ over the cliff edge.

"Who's next?" Bilbo demanded angrily from where he was now fluttering above Thorin.

The hobbit-fairy had grabbed the orc by the back of… whatever type of shirt _that_ was, and threw the blasted creature away from his _Anima Gemella_ (Soul Mate). Turns out the throw had carried the orc over the edge of the cliff… Bilbo couldn't find it in himself to feel sorry for the creature. It shouldn't have threatened _his_ soul mate.

Azog was in shock. He had never seen… whatever that _thing_ was. And it had just picked up one of his minions and tossed it away like it was one of those blasted on fire pinecones! That dangerous little thingy had to go! He didn't care if it died under the pressure of his mace or if one of the wargs ate it, it couldn't stay.

" _Worori-ta._ (Kill him)." Azog ordered angrily.

The orcs were scared of Bilbo, but they were even more scared of Azog, so they slowly urged their mounts forward. Bilbo readied himself as best he could, but he was just as nervous as he was last lifetime when he was an untrained hobbit wielding an elvish dagger. This time he had more confidence, but all he had for weapons were his speed and what he could grab with his hands.

Thankfully, the dwarves came through again. With war cries that shook the trees, Fíli, Kíli, Dwalin, Gimli, and Dáin came charging at the wargs, weapons at the ready. The ambush took them off guard, and caused several of the wargs to fall to the weapons of the sons of Mahal. Bilbo took care of any orcs that got to close to Thorin. He kicked, tripped up, and dragged orcs off the cliff edge, and then zipped back to take care of another one.

Bilbo was so engaged in his task, he failed to notice Azog's mace until it was too late. The poor hobbit-fairy was knocked out and sent flying back by the force of Azog's blow. The only small mercy was that Lady Yavanna must have had her eye on her child, because the hobbit landed on top of Thorin's chest. Thorin felt when the hobbit-fairy landed on him, had just enough strength to close his hand around his _Amrâb Yusth_ (Soul Mate), and slipped him into his chest pocket of his shirt before he blackened out. Azog urged his mount forward, he'd be able to kill the dwarf and that little thing at the same time.

He hadn't counted on there being _another_ one of the hobbit-fairies.

Hildifons zipped out of his hiding spot and grabbed Vrasubatlat by the ear, yanking her and Azog away from his nephew and cousin-in-law. He was so mad! If most of the pines weren't toppled dead or on fire, he'd use his special fairy talent to use the trees to smack these vile creatures around, but he could make due. Especially since he could now hear the Eagles of Manwë.

Glóin lost his grip and began to fall, and was in complete shock when he landed on and eagle instead of a tree or the hard ground. All eyes, whether dwarf, wizard, hobbit, or orc were on the majestic beings as they swooped down on their enemies. Most wargs got picked up and tossed over the cliff like Bilbo had been doing, though some got pinned under falling trees or burned by larger flames made by increased airflow. Azog growled in anger, and then bellowed in pain as his right kneecap got smashed by Dáin's warhammer.

"That was for my leg." Dáin growled as he spun away from Vrasubatlat's jaws.

Another cry from the eagles had heads turning just in time to see Thorin, (who somehow managed to get _Orcrist_ back in his hands when no one was looking), and Bilbo get picked up and carried away. Azog yelled in outrage as the eagles continued to pick up the dwarves and pass them onto the backs of another eagle. Soon, no dwarves were left on the cliff-side, and Gandalf also quickly departed to eagle-back ridding when the tree he was alone on started to fall.

Azog's roar of outrage followed them, but there was nothing the orc could do but watch as his prey was carried away from him.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Nearly twelve hours later, they finally arrived at the Carrock. Hildifons had taken from flying from eagle to eagle to pass along messages between families and loved ones, but spent most of his time with Dáin or Thorin and Bilbo. Everyone was worried about both of them, being used as warg jerky or an unexpected baseball was not fun and potentially fatal. Gimli was really worried. Last lifetime only Thorin had been injured, but this time poor Bilbo had been as well.

"Uncle!" Fíli was unable to hold back his yell as he watched Thorin's limp form in the eagle's talons.

Within minutes, they were being set down on the top of the Carrock. Gandalf was the first to Thorin's side, with Hildifons being a close second. Hildifons gently retrieved his nephew from Thorin's shirt pocket, and laid Bilbo out on the dwarf's chest. Gandalf passed his hand over Thorin's face and chest, and Bilbo's entire body, whispering a spell of healing. Thorin let out a shaky exhale as he came to, but opened his eyes. Gandalf's body sagged in relief.

"Bilbo?" Thorin whispered.

"Ow." Bilbo said from his place on Thorin's chest.

"You two got pretty banged up." Gimli stated, Glóin not having the heart to scold the bluntness.

"Stupid warg." Thorin groaned.

"Stupid orc maces." Bilbo agreed.

Thorin made sure to keep a hand under Bilbo as Fíli and Kíli helped him back up, sneaking hugs into their helping. Thorin reached his available arm around them, and held his nephews close for a few minutes. Dwalin and Balin got him from behind, and the rest waited to give him a gentle clap to the shoulder or hug. As they watched the eagles fly away with praises form the dwarves, Bilbo whimpered from Thorin's hand, still in pain.

"Do you have anything you could give him?" Thorin asked, putting his own pain to the side for the moment and not caring if it was Óin or Gandalf who answered his question.

"I've given as much energy to heal that I can spare." Gandalf replied sadly.

"I don't know how much tonic to give him." Óin shook his head and glanced towards Hildifons.

"I've always been treated in my normal hobbit form." Hildifons replied negatively as well.

"Thorin… look." Bilbo pointed to the east.

Thorin, and the rest of the dwarves, looked up, and saw Erebor in the distance. The Lonely Mountain. Their home. Though it didn't feel as important as getting Bilbo's injuries, and his own, treated. Thorin was glad that they had made it to this milestone in their journey, but was more concerned about his hobbit-fairy at this point.

"There is a house in which where we may be able to take refuge." Gandalf cleared his throat, as if he knew what Thorin was thinking.

"Are they friend or foe?" Thorin asked.

"Neither." Gandalf shrugged. "He will help us or he will kill us. His name is Beorn, and even though he is not very fond of dwarves, he hates orc even more."

"Guide us." Thorin ordered, even though he did know the way.

"Not until you get looked at!" Óin scolded.

"Can we do that with the river water at the base of the Carrock?" Thorin asked as he made his way to the stairs down.

Óin grunted as they began to follow their king. At least he wasn't flat out rejecting getting his wounds treated. Hildifons perched himself back on Dáin's shoulder, but couldn't hide the worry he felt for his nephew. It there was any internal bleeding from that blow… All they could do now was hope that Beorn would be willing to offer them shelter. Bird song drew them out of morbid thoughts, and they watched what Thorin and Bilbo knew to be a thrush fly past.

"A raven!" Óin proclaimed, the song sounding like caws in his flattened ear trumpet. "The birds are returning to the mountain."

"That, my dear Óin, was a thrush." Gandalf corrected, amused.

"We'll take it as a sign." Thorin injected, keeping his eyes on the bird. "A good omen."

"Yes, a good omen." Bilbo added softly. "Time for the next chapter of our journey."

-0-0-0-0-0-

*Mentioned way back in Chapter 3. Quote description: "Hobbit-fairies also had their own individual special talent, which could range from extremely quick plant growth to healing to speaking the tongues of animals to finding the best mushrooms or truffles within a 10 mile radius in less than 5 seconds to being the greatest prankster of whatever side of the mountains you were on, and also on the other side of the mountains as well."

As mentioned back in chapter 6, Hildifons can prompt movement from the trees around him. This can be done by the trunks and branches reaching out and striking, (softwood trees like willow or pine) or by the roots popping up from under the ground and walloping (hardwood trees like oak or maple). He can also make them move, (think the trees moving in the Disney's _The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian_ movie), but he uses up a lot of energy for that to happen.

When a hobbit-fairy activates their talent, their eyes will glow blue for a couple of seconds, and then again when they deactivate their talent.

For the longest time I couldn't figure out what I wanted Bilbo's talent to be. It struck me out of the blue one evening at work, so I wrote it down. As long as Bilbo is in his fairy form, he is immune to any manipulation/illness of the mind, so he can't hear the ring's whispers, be affected by Dragon Sickness, or even get Alzheimer's. As a hobbit, he has a strong resistance to such things, but not immunity. As a fairy, he can also project his immunity to others with practice, but for now it's just him.

Wow, that made me realize that Bilbo's talent is a lot like Bella's mental shields in _Breaking Dawn_ …

Whatever.

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 _Translations_

Amrâb Yusth = Khuzdul for: Soul Partner/Mate/Spouse. This is the gender neutral term, used for pre-marriage reference or post marriage if one of both spouses are gender neutral/fluid

'Ukshakush = Khuzdul for 'Tiny Surprise', alternative words include 'Astonishment' or 'Shock'. I thought that 'Tiny Surprise' sounded cute and totally Ori-like. It's an elvish dagger that is being wielded by a dwarf. Makes sense to me!

Gelekh d'ashrud bakhz! = Khuzdul for 'Time to swing a war hammer!' Ori, stop being so cute, I can't focus on my writing!

Nuzdigid? Nuzdi gast? Ganzilig-i unarug obod nauzdanish Torin undag Train-ob = Black Speech for 'Do you smell it? The scent of fear? I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thráin.'

Kod toragid biriz. Worori-da! = Black Speech for 'That one is mine. Kill the others!'

Sho gad adol! = Black Speech for 'Drink their blood!'

Biriz torag khobdudol. = Black Speech for 'Bring me the dwarf's head.'

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Italian for 'Soul Mate'.

Worori-ta. = Black Speech for 'Kill him.'

 **Note:** The Black Speech that I have I found on a website, or sounded out. I have no idea how accurate this is, so I may be completely off. If someone does know if I'm right or not, let me know!

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 _Timeline_

July 12th, year 2931: Gandalf rescues the dwarves, Bilbo finds the Ring, (early to late morning), flee from the goblins, (afternoon to early evening), cliff-side face off with wargs/Azog, Bilbo is injured during the skirmish, and the Eagles of Manwë rescue the company (nightfall).

July 13th, year 2931: Arrive at the Carrock (mid-morning).


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will.

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Three days later, on July 16th, Hildifons and Nori came running back to the rest of group. The two had volunteered to scout where Azog and his pack of orcs were, even though Thorin knew exactly where they were already. And on top of that, Beorn had just bellowed a mighty bear's roar as a challenge at the pale orc, who would know who and what Beorn was, putting more pressure on Azog to thirst his quench for Durin's blood before the Skin-Changer could catch them.

"How close is the pack?" Thorin asked as he adjusted his oak-shield, which had stayed with him during the eagle flight instead of falling off like last lifetime.

"Couple of leagues away, no more." Hildifons replied as he leaned against Dáin to catch his breath. "But that's not the worst of it."

"Have the wargs picked up our scent?" Dwalin demanded.

"Not yet, but they will." Nori responded grimly.

"We have another problem." Hildifons picked back up.

"They saw you?" Gandalf asked with worry.

"Don't insult me." Nori sneered.

"There is something else out there." Hildifons cut in before things could get ugly.

"A bear." Nori elaborated. "It's _huge_! About the size of a small one room cottage."

"Don't exaggerate." Dori scolded his brother.

"He's not." Hildifons stated grimly.

"Maybe we should double back." Bofur put out.

"We'll be run down by the orcs, sure as daylight." Thorin shook his head. "Gandalf, how much further to the house you mentioned when we were at the Carrock?"

Gandalf looked to Thorin from where he had been looking down their path. The wizard knew that Thorin was concerned about Bilbo, the hobbit-fairy spending most of the past few days sleeping in Thorin's chest pocket. Gandalf himself was worried for Bilbo. They needed someplace to rest and recover from the Stone Giants, Goblin-Town, Azog, the eagle ride, and the past three days of quick travel to avoid the orc pack.

"Half a day of travel at top speed." Gandalf replied. "But we need to move quickly. Orcs don't like to venture onto his lands, but they may pushed to do so by Azog in order to catch us."

"Then let's not linger any longer." Thorin commanded.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Hours later, they were still running. The good news was they were less than half a mile away from Beorn's home. That meant there was good-bad news. The other good news was that the orcs had halted their pursuit, but that was because of the bad news, which was that the Skin-Changer was gaining on them and didn't want them on his land. The angry bear roars were enough to frighten even Dwalin, who was trying hard to maintain his tough warrior façade.

"There!" Gimli hollered, having caught sight of Beorn's home in the field.

"Run!" Gandalf yelled, (Thorin found himself musing that the wizard had been yelling that word a lot lately), and the dwarves picked up the pace once again.

And even now Thorin was still baffled that Bombur, the largest dwarf in the company, could outrun them _all_ when provided with the right type of motivation. Thorin glanced over his shoulder in time to see Beorn crash out of the trees with an angry bellow, and that made everyone move faster as the bear thundered towards them. Turning back, Thorin groaned when he saw that everyone had slammed into the door again, and was pounding on it as if someone inside would open it for them.

"Lift the lock!" Thorin yelled as he made his way through his kin.

They all parted like he had a contagious disease, and Thorin opened the latch that had been holding the door closed. Everyone raced inside before turning around to shut the doors. Beorn's head managed to get through the gap between the doors, (how he wasn't able to shove them open, Thorin still wasn't sure, but he wouldn't spit on the blessings that Mahal gave them), but the dwarves were hardy folk and shoved the bear back outside.

"What was that?" Ori asked.

"That… was our host." Gandalf stated as he panted, ignoring the baffled looks from the dwarves and hobbit. "His name is Beorn. And he is a Skin-Changer."

"An _Ubratu-Fall_?" Thorin asked, knowing naming what Beorn was in Khuzdul would ease the company.

"I'm not sure what that means." Gandalf admitted.

"One who change their skin between man/woman and an animal." Fíli replied.

"Yes." Gandalf nodded. "Sometimes he is a great black bear. Sometimes he is a great strong man. The bear can be a tad bit unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with."

A growl came through the door, softer than the ones that had been bellowed in their ears just a minute ago. They all turned to look to the door, and Ori dared to peek through a crack to see what was going on outside.

"He's leaving." Ori's comment brought sighs of relief.

"Come away from there." Dori scolded. "It's not natural, none of it. It's rather obvious that he is under some dark spell."

"Don't be a fool, he's under no enchantment but his own." Gandalf rebuffed Dori's statement. "Now, get some sleep, all of you. We'll be safe here tonight… I hope."

Gimli and Thorin both rolled their eyes, having caught Gandalf's final muttered words. The other dwarves began to look for places to sleep, most flopping down on piles of straw by the large fireplace. The dwarf king moved to Beorn's large table, and found a smallish bowl, (small by Skin-Changer standards), and lined it with some handkerchief that he had managed to hang onto throughout their journey. Moving slowly and carefully, Thorin removed Bilbo from his shirt pocket and placed him in the newly made bowl bed. Hildifons came over to the table and gently tucked the handkerchief under Bilbo's chin better than Thorin could. The two shared a look, one that reflected how worried they both were for Bilbo.

All they could hope for now was that Beorn would not throw them all out once he came back inside as a man.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Thorin woke with a start. Night had fallen, and the crickets outside were chirping a soothing lullaby. Not knowing what had woken him, Thorin looked around, counting the slumbering bodies of his kin, and then turned his head to see that Beorn had entered the house, and was standing above the bowl-bed that had been made for Bilbo. Hildifons was in a second bowl-bed by his nephew so he could keep a closer eye on him, but was out cold if the tiny snores were anything to go by.

Sitting up, Thorin stretched and rolled his neck, the cracking noises alerting Beorn to his state of wakefulness. With a soft sigh, which turned into a groan as his ribs protested movement, Thorin looked back to the table to see that Beorn was now looking at him, like he thought would happen. Slowly getting to his feet, Thorin walked over to stand by the table, the _Ubratu-Fall_ , and the still sleeping hobbit-fairies.

"The flower-child is injured." Beorn stated, not caring if he woke the other dwarves. "Why has he not been treated?"

"Because we don't know how to treat Bilbo in his fairy form, and he does not know how to change back to his larger form yet." Thorin replied. "Bilbo and Hildifons are the first of their kin to change forms in over 1,000 years. Much of what was once known has been lost to the passage of time."

"Fortunately for you, time-walker, my kin have not forgotten." Beorn smirked as Thorin's jaw dropped. "When you have one foot in the plane of men and the other in the plane of animals, you see things that others don't."

"Do you see dead people?" Thorin's mouth asked before his brain could stop it.

Eye's wide and hand slapping over his loose lips, Thorin braced himself for Beorn's anger, at least getting thrown out of the house for the rest of the night. But to his great surprise, Beorn threw back his head and laughed a deep belly laugh that was loud and long. The rest of the company jolted awake in surprise, grabbing for their weapons, and then pausing in complete bewilderment when they realized they were hearing laughter.

"You have spunk." Beorn grinned at Thorin, who relaxed at the proclamation.

"And you are loud." Bilbo grumbled from his bowl-bed. "Some of us prefer 8 hours of beauty sleep each night. Unless you're Nori, then you need 10 1/2 hours."

"Oi!" Nori protested, making the company snicker despite their wariness of Beorn.

"You need healing, flower-child." Beorn stated, making everyone fall silent. "My ancestors kept such records when your people used to dwell in these lands, before they traveled over the mountains. I still have these records, including an elixir to change you to your larger form."

"Oh good." Bilbo sighed. "Thank you."

Beorn nodded, and then went to prepare what was needed. Thorin moved Bilbo over to his bedroll, knowing that it would not be comfortable for Bilbo to change back to his normal size and get his bottom stuck in his bowl-bed. Hildifons stripped Bilbo out of his tiny clothing and set them aside, keeping his nephew's modesty with a handkerchief blanket. It didn't take long for Beorn to come back with a vial and a handkerchief. Uncorking the top, Beorn dipped the corner of the handkerchief into the mixture, and then passed it to Bilbo, who drank down what was offered. This was repeated three more times, Beorn drawing back the final time.

With a soft groan, Bilbo grew in size, his wings retracting into his back. Grabbing his coat, Thorin covered Bilbo, knowing that the hobbit didn't like to be naked in front of anyone… save him… when they were in a bed… yeah. With a shiver that ran through his body, Bilbo felt the changes stop. He could tell that whatever was blocking him from changing from one form to another was gone. He would be able to do so at will now.

"Let's get you looked at." Óin grunted as he shoved Thorin aside, making the dwarf protest from the hay stack he ended up buried under and Bilbo giggle at talking straw.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Bilbo woke with a soft moan the next morning. His whole body ached, but it was a good ache, save for the few stabbing points that came from contact with the pointy bits of Azog's mace. A curtain of black hair came into view, and Bilbo's eyes followed it up to Thorin's face. A dopey grin was on the dwarf's face, and the hobbit couldn't find it in him to tease Thorin about, because Bilbo was certain the same look was on his face.

"Good morning." Thorin whispered.

"Yes, it is." Bilbo agreed.

"Oh good, you're awake." Hildifons plopped down next to his nephew, also in his normal hobbit form.

"How's he feeling?" Óin asked as he came over with his medicine bag.

"Sore." Bilbo answered. "It's a good soreness, save the few achy parts that came from Azog's mace."

Bilbo pointed out where his ouch areas were, and received a numbing balm to go on those spots. Thorin was then dragged off to get some of the same ointment spread on his left arm, chest, and back, where Azog's warg had bitten down on him. Thorin provided Bilbo with some traveling clothes that were normal hobbit-sized from his pack while the rest of the company got another type of ointment for the minor burns on their hands that had come from handling the pinecones. It was then that they were treated to a wonderful breakfast of milk, bread, honey, fruit, and honey cakes.

"I've passed on to Mahal's Halls." Kíli sighed in contentment when he was done eating.

"Same here." Fíli agreed, leaning back and patting his full stomach.

The satisfaction vanished when Thorin pinched their ears. Not to hard! But enough to bring them back to Middle-Earth. Of course, that prompted retaliation, which the older dwarf promptly fled from, heading outdoors to avoid his sister-sons 'vengeance'. Thorin kept pleading that he was injured and didn't need more damage from the two, while Fíli and Kíli kept saying that he needed to pay. Everyone else laughed as they watched, knowing that it was all drama and hot air between the Durin's.

Thorin ended up 'tackled', and had to wear a flower crown made of dandelions and bluebells for the rest of the day. The only comfort that the poor dwarf had was that a normal hobbit sized Bilbo was willing to cuddle away the embarrassment.

Of course, and to their great surprise, Beorn told them the tale of how Skin-Changers came into existence. Quite shocking to discover that they had been made primarily because Tulkas wanted a new challenge while wrestling. Of course, the Skin-Changers had been a huge help against Morgoth's forces, (the were-wolves and vampires), and ever since the end of the First Age had helped guard Middle-Earth, along with the Ents.

And that was also how the Skin-Changers knew about hobbits. Working alongside the Entwives, the Skin-Changers had been the second people to meet the hobbits after their 'birth'. They had been very fond of the little folk, and were greatly saddened when they made the decision to travel westward over the Misty Mountains, but respected their choice. Ever since then they waited in the lands that the hobbits had once claimed as their homes before the darkness drove them away. Should they ever return, the Skin-Changers would be waiting.

Of course, Azog and his hunting of the Skin-Changers to near extinction had made that difficult. The pale orc's action made it so now it was the sole duty of Beorn to tend to the surrounding lands in case the hobbits came back over the mountains.

"Do you think any hobbits would come back and settle?" Ori asked, not caring who answered.

"Maybe some of the more adventurous Tooks and Brandybucks looking for their own land to claim." Bilbo shrugged. "With Hildifons and myself living even further east, they won't see living near here as so far away."

"It would be nice to have some of your kin nearby." Beorn commented softly. "It can get rather lonely out here."

"You need a spouse." Ori said promptly, unashamed even as Dori hushed him for saying such thing.

"Oh, young dwarf you are spirited, never change." Beorn laughed loud and long again. "It is not so easy to find one who is able to keep up with a Skin-Changer. I have no desire to mate with one of the stuffy folk of the race of men or elves who need things just so, and has no desire to hunt down the evil creatures in this world. Denying this part of me would lead to an unhappy life, and potentially early death."

"That's sad." Fíli sighed as he sipped some more of his milk.

"Indeed it is." Beorn agreed.

Not wanting to feel unhappy feelings anymore, Thorin pulled Bilbo into his lap and began to separate the strands of hair he would need to braid a five-stranded courtship braid into Bilbo's hair, which prompted cheers from the company and blushes from Bilbo. The hobbit had been growing out since he had re-awoken in Bag End. With the ends coming to chin length, Bilbo's hair wasn't very long, but it was long enough. As Thorin's hands were busy weaving, the dwarves called for celebration, questioned about when the wedding would be, and teased about the future wedding night.

-0-0-0-0-0-

The company spent the majority of their time the next few days recovering, but sharpened their weapons and reorganized their supplies if they felt bored. Beorn went out nearly every night and slaughtered any orcs, wargs, or goblins that got close to his lands. He would bring back the heads of the orcs or goblins and mount them on pikes as warnings. The wargs he skinned and tacked to the outer wall. Both were a message to his enemies that he was not to be taken lightly.

Bilbo remained in his normal hobbit form, and spent his recovery time snuggled up to Thorin. After getting the okay from Óin, Thorin began teaching Bilbo how to properly wield _Sting_ , or _Mahibdik_ in Khuzdul. Fíli and Kíli got in on it, wanting to teach their soon-to-be uncle how to protect himself. Dwalin also got involved, being the one who had taught Fíli and Kíli when Thorin could not. The rest of the company sat nearby calling out tips and laughing whenever a lewd suggestion came up with 'positioning' the 'sword' properly. Óin restocked his medicine supplies with fresh plants while Glóin went over how much money they had on hand, and how much they would need to get to Erebor. Cheapest way possible, of course.

Dori was all flustered because Ori kept seeking out Dwalin, who didn't shoo away the younger scribe, and the two would vanish for hours on end. Balin was glad that Dwalin was being more receptive to spending time with Ori, and would often run interference whenever Dori got worked up about it. Nori was busy 'fertilizing' the land with Bofur as much as possible. Beorn would laugh whenever he caught the two of them together, and would suggest new positions or places they could spend some 'alone' time with each other. Bifur spent most of his time carving, (wanting to make a chess set that matched the one Beorn had), and Bombur was content to spend his day at the table or in the kitchen.

Dáin and Hildifons spent most of their time alone with each other, offering some 'fertilizer' to the land like Bofur and Nori were, or planning what would happen next after they left Beorn's home. And to the surprise of all, it was Gimli who got along best with their Skin-Changer host. But then again, he hadn't been called 'Silver-tongue' in the last lifetime for nothing. They didn't know what Gimli did when he spent time with Beorn, but the Skin-Changer was always in a good mood at the end of their talks. Hildifons and Bilbo were a close second as to whom Beorn liked best, with the giant man insistent on filling the two up on bread and honey as much as possible before they had to depart.

On the morning of July 24th, they gathered their supplies that had been provided by Beorn. More food and water than last life time because they had declined the extra bows, but did take the arrows to fill Kíli's quiver, plus some good quality rope.

"Darkness lies in your path, and fell things creep beneath the trees." Beorn stated as they prepared. "The Wood Elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin. They are less wise, wilder, and more dangerous. But I know it matters not because Azog is hunting you. Despite my efforts, these lands are crawling with orcs."

"You've done wonderfully keeping your lands safe." Bilbo reached up patted Beorn's arm from where he sat behind Thorin on their pony.

"Thank you, little bunny." Beorn sighed. "I do wish I could help you more."

"Any more supplies and we won't be able to life our packs." Thorin commented with a small smile.

"True." Beorn nodded once. "You will leave my ponies at the edge of the forest."

"My word on the matter." Gandalf agreed, and turned sharply at the cawing of a crow. "We're being watched by our enemy."

"Yes." Beorn replied as he wandered towards the sound, the wizard following. "The orcs will not give up. They will hunt the dwarves until they see them destroyed."

"But why now?" Gandalf huffed, frustrated that he hadn't been able to solve this puzzle yet. "What has made the Defiler crawl from his hole?"

"There is an alliance between the orcs of Moria and the sorcerer in Dol Guldur." Beorn clarified. "Packs have been seen gathering there. Each day, more and more come."

This ill news made Gandalf's stomach twist. But he hadn't been chosen by the Valar for a weak stomach. He had been chosen for his compassion and steadfastness, which he had learned under the guidance of the Lady Nienna. His compassion to the hopeless situation of the dwarves had started this quest, and now was the time to be steadfast as he faced an unknown future that was starting to look bleaker and bleaker.

"What do you know of this sorcerer called the Necromancer?" Gandalf managed to ask.

"He is not what he seems." Beorn replied grimly. "Fell things are drawn to his power. Azog pays homage to him."

"Gandalf." Thorin called, knowing every word that Beorn and Gandalf had spoken to each other thanks to Bilbo's listening. "Time is wasting."

"There is more." Beorn said as Gandalf started towards the group, making the wizard pause and turn back. "Not long past, word spread that the dead were seen walking near the High Fells of Rhudaur. Is it true, are there tombs in those mountains?"

"Yes, there are tombs up there." Gandalf did not withhold the truth.

"I remember a time, when I was a young lad, when great evil ruled these lands." Beorn recalled, getting agitated. "One powerful enough to raise the dead. If _that enemy_ has returned to Middle-Earth, I would have you tell me."

"Saruman the White says it's not possible, that the enemy was destroyed and will never return." Gandalf sighed. "But Gandalf the Gray says there are too many events happening at once to be a coincidence. It may be possible _he_ has indeed returned."

The crows cawed again, making the group even more nervous. Beorn knew then that they were out of time for discussion. But he had gotten the information he had wanted, and would now be able to better prepare for what was potentially coming.

"Stay on the elven path, unless you desire to be eternally lost, and do not touch or drink any water in that forest, for it is cursed with a heavy sleep." Beorn gave last minute instructions. "Now go, while you have the light. Your enemies are not far behind."

-0-0-0-0-0-

Mid-day of July 28th, the company had reached Mirkwood. Bilbo shivered as he pressed closer to Thorin, even after they had dismounted. There was no chance that he would enter that ailing forest in his fairy form. Feeling just how bad the infection of the woods was in that form would just make him more ill even quicker.

"The elven gate." Gandalf sighed in relief. "Here lies the path through Mirkwood."

"No sign of the orcs." Dwalin commented as he dismounted from his pony. "We have a small bit of luck on our side."

"Hopefully that luck holds during our journey through the forest." Thorin replied as he eyed the woods with a touch of nervousness.

Bilbo looked off to a ridge in the distance. There, he saw Beorn in his bear form, watching them. The Skin-Changer had been keeping an eye on the ponies, and the company, the past few days while they traveled. The hobbit was certain that Beorn had driven off several orcs and wargs during the night hours, if not outright killed them.

"Set the ponies free." Gandalf ordered. "Let them return to their master."

With some grumbles, the dwarves did what was commanded. They knew that the ponies weren't going into Mirkwood with them, and didn't blame Beorn for not wanting his equine friends to venture into the woods which were growing darker and more dangerous with every passing day. Even the dwarves could feel the oppressed feeling coming from the plant life in the woods.

"The forest feels sick… like it has a disease." Bilbo mumbled.

"Is there no way around?" Hildifons asked.

"Not unless we wish to travel 200 miles north, or twice that distance south." Gandalf called from where he was examining the entrance to the path.

"My first choice would have been to go north, but doing so takes us to close to Mount Gundabad and going south takes too long." Thorin sighed. "We have no choice but to take the elven road if we wish to make it to Erebor by Durin's Day and find the secret door in time."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dáin asked his cousin as he dubiously eyed the woods in which Thranduil lived.

"Nope." Thorin shook his head. "But we don't have any other options."

Noticing that Bilbo's hands were twitching towards one of his pocket, Thorin reached out and took the hobbit's hands in his. With a sharp inhale, whatever had been going through Bilbo's mind was pushed aside, and he smiled gratefully at Thorin while everyone else rolled their eyes at the 'sappiness' the two were showing. Thorin knew that this next part of their journey would be difficult for Bilbo. With Sauron's evil at work in the land once known as the Greenwood and the One Ring in his pocket, it was going to be difficult for the hobbit to travel through these lands, and would need as much support as possible to manage.

With whinnies of excitement, the ponies eagerly turned their backs on Mirkwood and headed back towards the rest of their herd Beorn's lands. An echoing bellow of a bear reached their ears, and brought smiles to their faces despite the darkness that lay ahead. It was at that moment that Gandalf came running back out of the forest, just as Nori had begun to unsaddle the only horse in the group.

"Not my horse!" Gandalf called as he approached. "I need it."

"You're leaving us." Bilbo stated, feeling forlorn even though he knew it was coming.

"I would not leave unless I had to." Gandalf replied, just as unhappy as the hobbit was, but then smiled. "You've changed on this journey Bilbo, and I'm not referring to your height. With every passing day, I see more and more of that exuberant fauntling that thought it was a good idea to 'attack' a wizard with just a wooden sword."

"I was 7." Bilbo pouted mulishly, ignoring the sudden coughing from the dwarves to cover their bouts of laughter, but it turned to a smile. "And you're right. I… I've found my family, Gandalf."

Gandalf sighed, and smiled broadly. He had been worried about Bilbo after the death of his parents, but the young hobbit had grown into a fine adult who still had a touch of the Took's lust for adventure. While Gandalf hadn't known that the dwarves would become a new family for Bilbo, he was glad that it was heading that way.

"Now…" Bilbo turned serious. "When you get back Gandalf, we are going to sit down and have a smoke together before we talk about a long and sobering topic, one that we don't have the time to discuss right now."

Gandalf felt the weight of Bilbo's words, especially when he said 'talk'. All the more reason for him to come back once he was done checking the tombs in the northern mountains. With a nod, Gandalf consented to Bilbo's words. Walking over to his horse, and feeling bad that he had to leave the company, Gandalf sighed heavily.

"I'll be waiting for you on the overlook, on the slopes of Erebor." Gandalf walked through the group of dwarves to his horse, and paused briefly at Thorin. "Keep the map and key safe, and do no enter that mountain without me."

Thorin nodded his head before looking back to the forest. Traveling through the Mirkwood was one of the events he had been looking forward to the least. Top of the list was what would happen when they got to Erebor and Smaug.

"Don't worry Thorin, we'll be fine." Balin tried to reassure.

Bilbo looked up at the sky, despite the fact that it had begun to rain on them. He looked around, as if he was trying to find something. Thorin assumed it was one of the Eagles of Manwë he was looking for, as if hoping the larger birds of prey would be willing to give them a lift.

"No pigs." Bilbo commented lightly.

Snorts were heard all around, despite the seriousness of the situation.

"This is not the Greenwood of old." Gandalf continued, as if he had missed what had been said. "There is a stream in the middle of the woods that carries a dark enchantment. As Beorn warned, do not touch the water, cross only by the stone bridge. The very air of the forest is heavy with illusion. It will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray."

"How could air lead us astray?" Ori asked, not able to figure out what Gandalf meant.

"You must stay on the path." Gandalf ordered. "Do not leave it. If you do, you may never find it again… and there may be some spiders that could be a cause of concern because of their size, growing as large as a horse, those cursed spawns of Ungoliant."

Thorin's eyebrows shot up. Gandalf hadn't mentioned the spiders last lifetime, but he wasn't complaining about the warning. The company twittered amongst themselves. Where they still going to take the risks by entering Mirkwood? Yes, they were.

"Radagast mentioned they were in the southern lands of Mirkwood, but that was over a month ago." Gandalf continued. "These beasts could have very easily moved northward in that time."

"We will keep watch as we always have, but double the watchers." Thorin planned out loud.

"No matter what may come, stay on the path!" Gandalf yelled for the last time as he and his horse galloped away. "With any luck you'll reach the other side in 3 or 4 weeks. And don't touch the water!"

"Come." Thorin said firmly and began the march into the dark forest. "We must reach the mountain before Durin's Day. We have one chance to find the hidden door."

Feeling as nervous as a cat in a room full of dogs, Bilbo fell into step behind his beloved dwarf. Hopefully they'd be able to get through Mirkwood with fewer accidents this time around. Maybe they'd even be able to avoid Thranduil, but Thorin doubted it… fate just like the screw with you that way.

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 _Translations_

Ubratu-Fall = Khuzdul for: Skin-Changer; lit. Changer of Skin. I made this word up using the Dwarrow Scholar's Khuzdul Dictionary. The translation/grammar structure may not be accurate, but I hope it is!

Mahibdik = Khuzdul for: Sting! Translation came from the Dwarrow Scholar's Dictionary, but it could be Mahibduk, which also means Sting. Mahibdik is the "Imperative Singular Form/General Imperative" version of Sting, and Mahibduk is the "Intensifying Infinitive Absolute/Subjunctive/Infinitive Absolute Form" version of Sting, whatever that means.

The point is, if anyone could tell me which version is correct, (because all of those fancy grammar words went over my head), I'd greatly appreciate it.

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 _Timeline_

July 16th, year 2931: Azog tracks the Company, Hildifons and Nori spot Beorn, (early morning) Gandalf leads the way to Beorn's house, and arrival at Beorn's house (mid-day).

July 17th - 23rd, year 2931: Recovery at Beorn's home.

July 24th, year 2931: Depart from Beorn's house (morning).

July 28th, year 2931: Arrive and enter Mirkwood, and Gandalf rides off (mid-day) (13 weeks after departure from Bag End).

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I debated long and hard as to which of the Valar should have 'made' the Skin-Changers, (besides the creator Eru Ilúvatar). They are a race of men that has the ability to take the form of an animal. Originally I was looking at Oromë or Yavanna, since they are the only Valar that I can find that are associated with animals. Oromë is the Valar of the Hunt. Yavanna is the Valar of all growing things, aka 'Mother Earth' with her job being to watch over the plants _and_ animals.

Though to my surprise I ended up choosing Tulkas, the Valar of Strength and War. In my mind's-eye, Tulkas wanted someone with the strength of a wild animal, (like a lion or a bear), but the mind of a human to wrestle with. So he asked Eru Ilúvatar if they could take a specific lineage of the race of men and give them the ability to change into super-sized animals to help in the fight against Morgoth. And that they would get to wrestle with one another in their spare time. Wish granted, and there are the Skin-Changers.


	16. Chapter 16

Okay everyone, this story is now caught up to what I have on AO3, so the massive adding 16 chapters in a 24 hour period is no more.

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will.

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In Bilbo's opinion, their journey through Mirkwood was going much better this time around. The food and water had been rationed out to last five weeks, they avoided being moth-chow by not lighting any fires, the squirrels left them alone after Bilbo, Hildifons, and Ori shot a few well aimed rocks at them and knocked them out of the treetops, and there were less temper tantrums and shoving others around as they moved along the path.

Bilbo personally took credit for that last one. Every evening when they made camp, and every morning when he woke up, Bilbo would climb a tree and stick his head above the canopy of leaves. The breath of fresh air did him good, he was more alert throughout the day than his companions, and was able to keep track of time better. Hildifons and Thorin were the first to notice what he was doing and mimicked his actions. Soon after, at least one more dwarf climbed up with them until the entire company was getting fresh air every morning and evening. With there heads clearer, it was easier to keep their focus on the path.

The forest still gave Bilbo the creeps, there was no doubt about that. But it was harder for Sauron's influence to seep into their minds. There was an occasional squabble that was blown out of proportion, but the ones fighting were pulled apart by everyone else and sent to sulk on opposite ends of the line or the camp until they apologized and made up.

One week and five days into Mirkwood, on August 9th, they reached the enchanted river that Beorn and Gandalf had warned them about in the middle of the woodlands. The stone bridge Gandalf had told them to use had fallen, probably to the spiders and most likely when Thranduil pulled his borders back from this area. Last time there had been a boat that they used to cross, but none of them, not even Bilbo or Hildifons spotted the watercraft.

"We could try to swim it." Bofur put out.

"No." Thorin and Bilbo rejected the idea at the same time, making the miner take step back with his hands raised.

"Don't you remember what Gandalf and Beorn said?" Bilbo asked. "The waters of this stream, and all water in this darkened forest, are enchanted."

"Doesn't look very enchanting to me." Bofur shrugged his shoulders, making the others groan and roll their eyes at the poor joke.

"These vines look strong enough to get us over." Kíli commented as he tested the strength of one of the plants over solid ground.

"Everyone head up above the canopy and take a breath of fresh air." Thorin ordered as he started climbing a tree, with Bilbo close behind him. "I want us to have clear heads when we do this."

It was at that point during their journey that 15 dwarves and 2 hobbits decided to be silly and play peek-a-boo in the treetops.

Back on the ground, Bilbo and Hildifons were the first to cross, moving slowly, and helping each other. The spell over the river was bad, even with the fresh air they had received a minute ago. Hildifons pulled his nephew up onto the next vine after Bilbo kept staring at his reflection in the water. After a tense minute or so, the two had made it safely to the other side of the river. It was obvious that Bilbo had been affected more than his uncle had. Hildifons, Thorin, and Gimli knew that Sauron's Ring had been desperately trying to get Bilbo to fall in. If Bilbo hadn't been as resistant to the Ring's effects, he very well may have fallen into the water, and the ring would have been lost down the current, sluggish as it was, to Dol Guldur.

Hildifons tried to best to keep Bilbo relaxed while his stomach threatened to rebel against whatever breakfast he had eaten that morning. Despite the nausea, Bilbo was coherent enough to realize that he saw something sitting on the riverbank.

"There's a boat right there." Bilbo mumbled, but everyone heard him.

Heads turned to see the elven made boat, which had been carefully hidden from sight, probably to keep any orcs that tried their luck in the forest from finding it. Hildifons walked over, and pulled the canoe out of its makeshift shelter. It was large enough to carry two dwarves and the supplies they were carrying. Talk was quick, and it was quickly decided who would go with who. Thorin would cross with Kíli, Dáin with Fíli, Glóin with Gimli, Óin and Bifur, Dwalin and Ori, Balin and Dori, Bofur and Nori, and poor Bombur would have to cross by himself unless someone went back to go with him.

Bifur hefted up his boar spear, which had the rope Beorn gave them tied to the end, and tossed it neatly across the river, landing the tip in the dark soil on the other side. Hildifons untied the rope from the spear, placed the spear in the boat, tied the rope to the boat, and watched as it was quickly pulled to the dwarves. A second rope was tied to the spear and thrown across. This one was tied to a tree, and would be used by the dwarves to pull themselves across, while the first rope would remain tied to the boat and be used to pull it back to the other bank. Everything went across the waters smoothly, and Hildifons, not-so-fond-of-water-like-any-hobbit-was, even went back so that Bombur would have a crossing companion.

The sound of hooves running towards them made Bilbo turn his head towards the noise, and he stood along the path where he knew the White Stag would come running out of the trees. And sure enough, the majestic buck, which appeared to have a glow of some sort coming from it, leapt out of the forest and landed right in front of Bilbo. The White Stag snorted into Bilbo's hair, making the hobbit smile and giggle at the sensation while the remainder of his nausea disappeared. The male deer turned, and to the surprise of them all, gestured with his head to follow him. The White Stag and led them along the next stretch of path, staying with them for about a mile before he bounded off into the woods.

"That was…" Ori couldn't find the words to describe what he had felt.

"I know." Dori nodded, not able to call the male deer evil when it was obviously so good.

"I think that may have been Oromë." Bilbo said, making everyone startle. "There have been tales of the Valar of the Hunt taking the form of an animal to aid travelers through the dark areas, but I didn't believe that it may have been true… until now."

Now Thorin really felt like a jerk. Last lifetime he had taken a shot at the White Stag, who was quite possibly _Zabad Unbar_ , and in turn that had brought about Bombur falling into the river, and he was also fairly certain that they had never even gotten onto the next stretch of path, being lost ever since they left the river. Bilbo had chastised him about what he had done once the hobbit had gotten over being sick while they were in Laketown, telling him the rumors of a wish being granted if you caught the White Stag, but didn't kill it.

"Did you make a wish just now?" Thorin asked, making the dwarves look at him in confusion while understanding was written on Bilbo and Hildifons faces.

"Just for safe travels." Bilbo replied, and tapped his foot on the obviously cared for elven path they had just started walking on. "And I think it came true."

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Five days later, Bilbo's head popped up above the canopy as the sun was setting. Blue butterflies took flight from the trees, leaving the hobbit feeling a breathless sort of awe as he watched. The sight of the butterflies reminded Bilbo what day it was, (August 14th), and what he should be able to see because of that. Just give him a moment to pull down the tree branches and off to his left should be…

"Erebor." Thorin's deep voice rumbled next to him.

"Yes." Bilbo smiled. "We're almost there."

Thorin pulled Bilbo close and kissed the courtship braid in the hobbit's hair. Bilbo laughed softly at the sappiness, but enjoyed the attention. After another minute, the two climbed back down, letting the next pair of dwarves scramble up for clean air. They made camp, still munching on nuts and dried fruit and sipping the water in the skins from Beorn. They would run out in about two weeks, but it they avoided Thranduil, they'd be able to restock in Laketown under the pretense of traveling with Dáin and Hildifons to the Iron Hills with the Lake-men being none the wiser of who was actually traveling through their town.

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With his head a mouth feeling as if they were full of thick cotton, like he had drunk too much of Old Gaffer Gamgee's Homebrew, Bilbo awoke from sleep with a soft groan. Oh look, there was a giant spider dragging him and the rest of the company through the treetops. Looks like the beasts had descended on them during their sleep, despite the watch. Hand moving slowly, Bilbo managed to unsheathe _Sting_ and plunged it into the spider's vulnerable underbelly with a sudden jerk. With a pitiful noise, the arachnid fell and died as it hit the forest floor.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." Bilbo shuddered as he pulled the webbing off of him and hid himself before any of the other spiders noticed that one of their 'prey' was missing.

The lone hobbit watched the rest of the dwarves and the other hobbit be hung in the trees, with small movements indicated that they were starting to come to. Bilbo bit his lip and he touched the outside of his pocket that held the One Ring. Would he be able to rescue the company without it? He really didn't want to use it, but may not have much choice, especially if he didn't want to be seen by the spiders. The skin on the back of Bilbo's neck prickled, and he turned to see a spider rushing right at him with absolutely no time to get _Sting_ up to block.

Two swords popped up on Bilbo's sides, and stabbed the giant arachnid in the face, forcing it to fall after the one Bilbo had already killed.

"That thing was ugly." Peregrin Took said quietly as he climbed up on Bilbo's right.

"If that thing was close to the size of Shelob, I get why Sam hates spiders now." Meriadoc added just as quiet from Bilbo's left.

Bilbo's mouth dropped open. Gimli showing up in Rivendell with memories of the future he could cope with, maybe Legolas, Tauriel, Bard, or even Thranduil getting their memories back, but having Merry and Pippin show up 51 and 56 years before they were even born… Oh dear Lady Yavanna, please don't let him faint right now.

"Now, where are we?" Pippin asked as he glanced around. "Because I know it's not the Old Forest, or Fangorn either, despite that is where we fell asleep."

"Mirkwood." Bilbo managed to croak out.

His younger cousins looked to him. Both blinked in shock, but managed to recover enough to look at each other, back to Bilbo, and then to the spiders and dwarves.

"Cousin Bilbo?" Pippin asked timidly.

"Yes." Bilbo nodded. "I really don't understand how you two are here, but we'll deal with that after the dwarves are no longer at threat of being spider food. And my uncle Hildifons, who married a dwarf when he was 22 years old and pretty much stayed away from the Shire ever since, save for the odd birthday or two of his sisters."

The spiders in the webbing had worked themselves into a feeding frenzy. Bilbo knew that they were commenting on how much they wanted to feast on the dwarves while their blood was still being pumped by their hearts. Bilbo grabbed a hunk of loose log and chucked it as hard as he could to the left. The sound drew all the spiders away, save the one that wanted to eat Bombur, but the three hobbits made quick work of that beast with their little swords.

"Now let's see how well these barrow-blades can handle giant spiders." Merry said as he helped Bilbo gently roll Bombur so he would end up safe on the forest floor.

"Here, here." Pippin grinned as he sliced a bit of webbing that held up Gimli.

Moving as quick as possible, Bilbo, Merry, and Pippin cut down the remaining members of the company, and scampered down the trees to the ground as quick as they could. Bilbo had no desire to get knocked down by a spider again.

"Where's Bilbo?" Thorin asked as soon as his mouth was free.

"I'm here." Bilbo said as he came over with his cousins and helped pull the webbing off.

"There are two more hobbits than there were earlier." Kíli commented at the sight of Merry and Pippin.

"Hi, I'm Peregrin Took, but prefer to be called Pippin." Pippin chirped cheerfully, and then tripped.

"Really?" Merry sighed, but hauled his _Anima Gemella_ back to his feet. "And I'm Meriadoc Brandybuck, but most folk just call me Merry."

Both Merry and Pippin paused when their eyes met Fíli's. While Merry and Pippin had each other, they never knew that they had a third _Anima Gemella_ , and Fíli had no clue that he had _Amrâb Yasâth_ (Soul Mates). None of them had known that they were meant to be a triad, rare as such a thing was, but they wouldn't question the will of their creators.

"Why are they wearing the symbols of Gondor and Rohan on their clothes?" Balin asked, snapping the three of them out of it.

"Can we worry about that later?" Pippin asked as his eyes went to the treetops, and the rest followed his line of sight to see a bunch of angry spiders scuttling towards them.

"Much later." Bilbo added as he hauled Ori to his feet.

"Move out." Thorin ordered.

Somehow, they were still on the elven path. Maybe Oromë was still looking out for them, even near a week later. As the company, which now consisted of 15 dwarves and 4 hobbits, ran along, they made quick work of any spider that came near them. They made really good time with the spider dodging exercise, and still somehow had enough food supplies on them to last for another couple of weeks. Gimli stayed close to Merry and Pippin, keeping an eye out on the young hobbits that he had long ago chosen to love as brothers.

When the spider landed directly on the path in front of them, Thorin felt his eyes go up, and sure enough, there was one of the groups of elves that had been tasked with getting rid of the spiders within Thranduil's current boarders. This group in particular had Legolas, Prince of Eryn Galen, spinning down a spider's thread before shooting an arrow into its head, sliding under and killing the spider blocking the path with a dagger, and coming to a stop in front of Thorin with another arrow knocked in his bow. The dwarves raised their weapons, sans Thorin, while rest of the elves in Legolas' faction formed a circle around them, arrows trained on the company.

"Do not think that I won't kill you, _dwarf_." Legolas sneered. "It would be my pleasure."

"Rude." Pippin stated, not liking the way Legolas was acting and feeling insulted on Thorin's behalf.

Legolas turned his bow on Pippin, and indirectly targeting Merry, who was standing by Pippin's side. Fíli was on the other side of the group and unable to reach them, but Gimli was standing close enough to step in front of them without any questions being raised. Thorin internally winced. Legolas was Gimli's _Amrâb Yasthûn_ (Soul-Husband), or they would be. The two had married less then a year after the ring was destroyed last lifetime. For Gimli to oppose Legolas like this while knowing who he was, even briefly while the soul connection was starting to be made this lifetime, had to be difficult.

Legolas gasped, his eyes widening, and stumbled back a step. Panting heavily, many of the elves there asked their prince if he was alright, which he ignored while his memories sorted themselves. Not only did his _Faeven_ bond with Gimli activate, but seeing Merry and Pippin with him had triggered his memories of what was yet to come. Brushing off the concerns, Legolas composed himself. He still had a role to play, but he would do his best to make sure that the Company of Thorin Oakenshield was treated better this lifetime.

"Augh!" Kíli's cry came through the trees before Legolas could open his mouth.

"Kíli!" Fíli yelled, wanting to go back to help his brother but was unable to because he would become a dwarf pincushion.

"Get off of me, you ugly insect!" Kíli yelled as he kicked the spider in the face, trying to get the blasted creature far enough away for him to draw his bow back and shoot it.

Tauriel came bounding out of the treetops, red hair flowing behind her as she moved with the grace of her elven kin. The 600 year old elf kicked back the one spider that was giving Kíli trouble, keeping it away with her twin daggers. More spiders came down from the treetops, and Kíli drew back his bow with one of the arrows that Elladan had made for him. His arrows and Tauriel's knives flew and killed the spiders. When all was said and done, Kíli glanced over to Tauriel with wide eyes, but still gave her a nod of thanks.

Tauriel raised an eyebrow as she watched the dwarf gather the obviously elven made arrows from the carcasses of the spiders. At first she though he may have stolen the arrows, but upon looking closely, it was obvious that they had been made to fit his smaller bow, and the elven style quiver on his hip had a dwarven name embossed into it to fit. Tauriel knew accusations to thievery would arise when she brought him back, despite the weapon being crafted to fit him. Shaking her head, Tauriel pointed Kíli in the direction of the rest of his group were being searched for weapons. Once there, Fíli pulled his brother into a tight hug, ignoring all the weapons he had being taken off his person.

"Fíli, air!" Kíli gasped.

"Just be glad it's not Dáin." Fíli mumbled.

"What's wrong with my hugs?" Dáin demanded, kicking the elf that tried to take away his iron leg.

"I'd rather get sat on by a warg." Kíli deadpanned.

"That can be arranged." Legolas stated with some humor.

The growls and threats made in Khuzdul almost made Legolas smile. He couldn't because he wasn't supposed to understand Khuzdul. Sindarin and Common-Tongue, but that was it. Legolas looked up at Tauriel as she approached.

" _Gyrth in yngyl bain_? (Are the spiders dead?)" Legolas asked.

" _Ennorner gwanod in yngyl na nyryn._ (Yes, but more will come.)" Tauriel replied, making her leader look to her. " _Engain nar_. (They are growing bolder.)"

Legolas nodded once. He knew what she meant, and what events were causing it. Sauron had taken up residence in Dol Guldur many years ago, and had been poisoning his homeland ever since. The spiders would keep coming until the White Council drove out the Dark Lord, and even then the elves of Mirkwood would have a lot of hard work ahead to get rid of any remaining nests and egg sacks.

"This blade was made by my kin in Gondolin." Legolas commented in the Common Tongue as he looked over _Orcrist_ and focused on Thorin, this time without pointing the sword at him. "How came you by this?"

Poor Thorin was feeling a touch confused by the non-threatening tone and posture from the son of Thranduil. Maybe seeing Gimli, Merry, and Pippin had triggered something. He didn't know for certain, but the king-in-exile wasn't about to spit on the rare gift he had just been offered.

"It was in a troll-hoard on the Great Forest Road between Bree and Rivendell when it was first found." Thorin replied neutrally. "Lord Elrond of Rivendell had no desire to lay claim to _Orcrist_ or _Glamdring_ , which is now in the hands of Gandalf the Gray. Lord Elrond seemed insistent that I carry it, for reasons why I don't know."

"Oh, wait." Kíli began to dig around in his coat pockets, prompting the arrows to point at him. "I have a letter for someone named Legolas of Eryn Galen somewhere around here… from Elladan and Elrohir of Rivendell."

"The Twin Terrors?" Legolas asked dryly.

"With the pranks they play, I'm not surprised they're called that." Kíli hummed as he finally found it. "Here it is. Oh, and it smelled funny when they gave it to me, like seaweed or something."

With a sigh, Legolas opened the letter, and got a face-full of river water with bits of weeds in it. Those two had been practicing their magic again. Accepting a handkerchief from Tauriel, Legolas patted his face dry and read what the twins had written. It confirmed that Lord Elrond had indeed given _Orcrist_ to Thorin Oakenshield, _Glamdring_ to Gandalf, and the twin daggers of his great-great-grandfather Turgon to the hobbit Bilbo and the dwarf Ori, and that baby Estel really liked them so that should be good enough for the rest of the world.

And Elladan threatening great harm if even 1 hair on his _Faeven's_ head, (Kíli's head), was out of place.

"Hm." Legolas hummed.

He had once believed that Tauriel had been Kíli's _Faeves_ … guess they were just a close enough soul match. But still, he felt bad for the elf he now knew he saw only as a younger sister. She was very beautiful and fiercely protective of all of Middle-Earth. He wished that she could find who she was meant for, even if it wasn't in Mirkwood.

"My Prince?" Tauriel prompted.

"The sword was given to Thorin Oakenshield by Lord Elrond, who has closer kin ties to those who lived in Gondolin, we have no right to claim it." Legolas replied and gave the sword back to the dwarf. "We do need to bring you to the palace. Security has grown with the darkness."

"I understand." Thorin nodded.

Barking an order to leave their hands untied, Legolas began to lead the way back to the palace. Listening for it, Legolas heard it that time when the dwarf with the quirky hat (Bufur?), asked where Bilbo was. The thought of the poor hobbit using that _Ring_ out of fear that his friends would be prisoner in his father's realm made his stomach twist, but hopefully he'd be able to find Bilbo and convince him to hide in his chambers until they could 'escape' down the river.

Within 10 minutes, the dark and gloomy forest turned into something that one would expect on a nice stroll through the woods in the Shire. The constant fresh air made it easier for the dwarves to keep up, even though the adrenaline rush from fighting the spiders was starting to fade. Legolas stopped at the bridge, letting Tauriel take the lead as he did a head count. _15_ dwarves, Dáin Ironfoot and Gimli son of Glóin had definitely _not_ been apart of Thorin's Company last lifetime, and _3_ hobbits, two of whom were Merry and Pippin, and the last one was definitely not Bilbo Baggins. With a sigh and shake of his head, Legolas could only hope that Bilbo was able to follow in behind the company before the doors were magically closed by his father.

Thranduil watched as a group of 15 dwarves and 3 hobbits were led through his halls. None of their hands were bound, which was odd, and they were taken to a sitting room instead of the dungeons. What was Legolas thinking? These intruders were not their guests. Most of them were dwarves, not an envoy from Rivendell.

"The dwarves are an envoy from Rivendell." Legolas said as he and Tauriel approached their King. "Or rather, Prince Kíli is and the rest are his escorts."

"Or so they claim." Thranduil rejected the notion.

"This letter from Lord Elrond's sons is what it claims." Legolas rebuffed his father's dismissal as he held the letter from Elladan and Elrohir up in his hand. "Two of the hobbits bear the signets of Gondor and Rohan, Dáin Ironfoot is Lord of the Iron Hills, and Thorin Oakenshield is the leader of the remainder of Durin's Folk. That's five different political fronts, we can't just ignore this group of mix-matched races by locking them up in the dungeons."

"We can, and we will." Thranduil replied, not liking his son's new… impoliteness.

"My King, Prince Legolas is right in this matter." Tauriel injected. "We cannot throw these people into the dungeons without cause."

"They were trespassing on our lands." Thranduil was getting irritated at the disagreements.

"They were walking on the path… actually they were running on the path, which is understandable when the spawns of Ungoliant are chasing you." Legolas corrected himself. "And the last time I checked, we didn't have a 'No Trespassing' sign posted at the Western Gate."

Thranduil was finding it harder and harder to keep his temper. Just yesterday these two obeyed any command that he gave them without question, and now they were acting like rebellious teenagers! Well, with Tauriel it was understandable since she was only 600 years old, and still quite young despite her maturity levels. But Legolas was triple Tauriel's age, and had long ago ceased to question his father's orders.

"Then bring me the 5 different political heads." Thranduil barked. "And you two will spend the rest of the day cleaning the training grounds."

"Yes, your highness." Tauriel bowed.

Legolas did not bow, just turned and walked away to retrieve the five "guests". Thranduil watched his son's departure with fear growing in his heart. Had the darkness that blanketed the land outside his boarders somehow wormed its way into his Greenleaf's heart while he forced the spiders away from Eryn Galen? Thranduil spent so much time pondering these thoughts that he barely noticed when the three dwarves and two hobbits were brought before him.

"My king." Tauriel said as she bowed, getting Thranduil's attention, and then departed with Legolas to carry out their new cleaning duty.

Thranduil lifted his head. He was not surprised to see that it was Thorin Oakenshield who was looking back at him. Next to him was the red haired menace of the Iron Hills, Dáin Ironfoot. The third dwarf, Prince Kíli, was obviously a Durin as well, but the elven made quiver marked him as the envoy from Rivendell. And then there were two hobbits. One had a black background with the silver tree and stars of Gondor on his shirt, and the other had the deep, dark red colored background with the white stallion of Rohan.

Thranduil could feel the headache building behind his eyes already.

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"That went well." Pippin commented cheerfully from the cell he shared with Merry and Fíli later.

Pippin's temper had gotten the better of him when Thranduil told Thorin that he would help, a favor for a favor, only if the White Gems of Lasgalen, the heirlooms of his family, were returned to him. Pippin had yelled at the elf, saying that the dragon sickness didn't affect only the dwarves, with Fëanor and the Silmarils as a prime example. Merry's kick to shut him up had come to late, and the two hobbits, plus Dáin, who had been cursing Thranduil at the same time as Pippin, had been dragged off. The entire company had been taken from the sitting room, stripped of the remainder of their weapons and supplies, and rudely shoved into the prison cells. Who got to be cellmates with who had actually been coordinated by Legolas, who was trying to make the hobbits and dwarves as at ease as he could possibly make them for the next 5 weeks or so.

"How do you call being thrown into prison 'well'?" Glóin demanded from the cell where he was with Óin, Gimli had been shoved into a next door cell by his lonesome.

"I still have all 10 finger and toes, and my head is attached to my shoulders." Pippin replied.

"He has a point." Bofur agreed from the cell he shared with Nori.

"I still can't believe you called that weed-eater 'a dragon's scaly balookie'." Dáin grinned from where he sat in his cell with Hildifons. "That right there made going on this journey worth it."

"Must have been the Took's temper." Ori noted as he remained sitting on the bed in the cell he was sharing with Dwalin.

"The Duke has problems to remember?" Óin asked, lacking his ear horn, as Bifur mourned to loss of his whittling tools in the same cell.

It was at that moment that two of Thranduil's personal guards appeared dragging Thorin between them to the cell block that the rest of the dwarf's kin had been placed… Kíli wasn't with him. Opening a door, the elves shoved the dwarf into the cell that Gimli was in, and locked the door behind him. After walking away, Balin quickly made his way to the front of his cell, ignoring Dori scolding Ori and Nori for getting cuddly with Dwalin and Bofur.

"Did Thranduil off you a deal?" Balin asked. "Did you take it?"

"He did." Thorin replied. "I told him I was hesitant to make a deal with someone who was willing to wage war over a handful of gems, heirlooms or not."

"Say what now?" Pippin asked from across the hall.

"When Smaug first arrived at Erebor, Thranduil and his army appeared on a nearby ridge, just hours after the dragon's attack." Thorin explained to the new hobbit arrivals, both of them somehow thrown back in time. "It takes at least a week for an elven host that large to march from Mirkwood to Erebor. The only conclusion that I can come up with was that Thranduil was going to break the alliance that was between Erebor, Dale, and the Greenwood to declare war until he had his gems back."

"Rude." Pippin shook his head.

"Yes he is." Legolas stated from where he was leaning against a nearby wall, making all the dwarves jump and snarl some insults. "Is that any way to talk to the one who is bringing you food?"

"Food?" Merry, Pippin, and Hildifons immediately perked up like all hobbits did at the mention of something to eat, eyeing the platter of freshly baked bread and gaining chuckles from the dwarves.

"What happened to Kíli?" Thorin asked.

"He is being treated somewhat better." Legolas answered as he passed bread into the cells, much to the surprise of the dwarves. "The letter from Elladan and Elrohir, sons of Elrond, has gained him a room set aside for visiting delegates, but there is a guard posted at the door at all times. He is just as much a prisoner as the rest of you, just with better room furnishings."

"At least he's safe." Fíli sighed.

"As long as he doesn't loose his temper." Legolas agreed as he stopped at that cell and pinned Pippin with a look. "And a dragon's butt? Really? You couldn't have come up with _anything_ better then that?"

 _That_ comment from the elf prince gained dropped jaws all around, save for the few who knew the elf personally. Pippin blushed, but still held the defiant look in his eyes that existed in ever hobbit with Took's blood running in their veins.

"I wanted to say 'spider's barf', but 'dragon's butt' slipped out before I could stop it." Pippin offered.

"And ended up with us in jail." Merry sighed as he took the bread that was offered, passing one to Fíli.

"I'd say that I'm sorry, but you're not in the mood to hear it right now." Pippin sighed as he sat down.

"How two hobbits with two different kingdom insignias here?" Legolas asked.

"That's what we can't figure out." Merry shook his head. "We went to sleep in Rohan on our way to Gondor, and woke up hundreds of miles north of our last location. The only thing I can think of is that the group of men we were traveling with drugged us and kept us drugged us before dumping us here in Mirkwood."

Well, that was a good cover story, Thorin, Gimli, and Legolas could silently agree on that. And Merry and Pippin going to sleep in Fangorn Forest was the truth. As long as the two hobbits stuck with their story and didn't blab about the future, things should be okay for them. Legolas continued to pass out the bread, most of the time having to leave it on the floor because the dwarves were too suspicious of him. When giving the food to Thorin and Gimli, the dwarf king grabbed the elf by his forearm.

"Is your captain of the guard interested in bears?" Thorin asked.

Legolas blinked, not understanding where that question had come from. Why would Tauriel be interested in bears? She was a vegetarian, so she didn't eat meat, and didn't really like to wear the leather that was necessary for her battle armor, but did so for her safety, so it wasn't as if she had a bearskin rug lying around in her rooms. Legolas shook himself before focusing on the dwarf king.

"I don't know." Legolas answered honestly.

Thorin held his gaze, and nodded as he took the bread that was in Legolas' hand. Legolas sighed and shook himself, passing a brief shared smile to Gimli, and continued to pass out the bread. Once he was done, the elf left to join Tauriel at the training grounds. He hadn't been forced to clean that area of the palace in over 400 years, but supposed that his change in attitude had startled his father pretty badly. He would need to let his father know that he still loved and respected him, but he wasn't going to be satisfied to stay within the boarders of their kingdom any longer. The ocean was once again calling to him, but not as strong as it once had been. He would be able to resist the siren's song of the sea until all those he truly loved in Middle-Earth, sans Gimli, had passed on.

"Thorin, are you going to take Thranduil's deal?" Balin's voice was heard by the elf.

"Probably not." Thorin replied. "As Thranduil's guards hauled me away, he said that we could stay here and rot for over 100 years for all he cared, a mere blink of an eye in the life of an elf… that he was patient and could wait."

"Well, that's that then." Balin sighed. "A deal was our only hope of getting out of here."

"Not our only hope." Thorin whispered softly with a smirk as he glanced down.

Bilbo poked his head and wings out of Thorin's shirt pocket and smiled at the dwarf. The moment that the elves appeared, Bilbo had changed to his fairy form and ducked into Thorin's shirt pocket. He had felt very ill while they remained in the darkened forest, but it had greatly diminished once they reached the palace of the Elvenking. In no time, especially with good food and rest, Bilbo would regain his strength, and then all they had to do was wait for the Feast of Starlight to escape.

Hopefully Kíli would remain strong while they were separated and not give in to any false words that Thranduil would tell him in that time. Maybe Bilbo could pass along messages to keep up the lad's spirits up. But still, this time would be trying on all of them. But Mahal willing, they would weather this trial and come out stronger than ever.

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Pairings seen for the first time: Legolas Greenleaf/Gimli, Merry Brandybuck/Pippin Took, Fíli/Merry Brandybuck/Pippin Took

To everyone on AO3 who voted to who Fíli should be paired up with, I went with the male hobbit(s) vote, and officially decided on having Merry and Pippin jump through time. Fíli will have an unnamed female dwarf carry his heir prior to having any kids with Merry and Pippin, so there isn't any bickering about who is the firstborn heir. Pippin is 32 and Merry is 36, so I did play with Merry's age and make him 4 years younger than in the canon.

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 _Translations_

Zabad Unbar = Khuzdul for: Lord Oromë

Anima Gemella = Hobbitish/Italian for: Soul Mate

Amrâb Yasthûn = Soul Male Partner/Husband

Faeven = Sindarin for: Soul Mate, male

Gyrth in yngyl bain? = Sindarin for: Are the spiders dead?

Ennorner gwanod in yngyl na nyryn … Engain nar. = Sindarin for: Yes, but more will come … They are growing bolder.

Faeves = Sindarin for: Soul Mate, female

Please note that the lines for Legolas and Tauriel I got online somewhere and am not sure if this is the actual translation. If someone could point me to a confirmed translation, I'd greatly appreciate it.

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 _Timeline_

August 9th, year 2931: Arrive and cross the Enchanted River, the White Stag leads them down the next mile of path before vanishing into the forest, and Bilbo speculates that the stag may have been Oromë/Unbar looking out for them, (mid-day).

August 14th, year 2931: Butterflies in the treetops, see Long Lake and the Lonely Mountain, (sunset), and are captured by the spiders, (overnight).

Some point in October of the 1st year of the Fourth Age: Merry and Pippin are plucked from their sleep in Fangorn Forest and dropped in Mirkwood by the Valar.

August 15th, year 2931: Merry and Pippin aid Bilbo in cutting the dwarves down from the treetops, escape and battle the spiders, the elves show up and take all the dwarves and hobbits they find as prisoners, the sight of Gimli, Merry, and Pippin prompts Legolas' memories of the future to return, (early to late morning), Thranduil 'attempts' to parley with Thorin, and Bilbo remains hidden from the elves in his fairy form, (afternoon).

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Yes, in this story the White Stag was Oromë, Valar of the Hunt. I don't know if Oromë/Unbar actually took the form of animals and looked out for the people of Middle-Earth that way, but thought it was a nice touch. And the White Stag granting a wish if you catch it, not kill it, is accurate as well.

I am changing the Dwarven reference of their True One to Soul Mate. I couldn't figure out the Khuzdul translation for because there is no 'True' in the Dwarrow Scholar's dictionary. Anyway, here is a list of some you might see, depending on the situation.

Amrâb Yusth = Soul-Partner/Mate/Spouse (gender neutral), this is an overall generalization to be used pre-marriage (fiancé/fiancée), or post-marriage if one spouse or both spouses are gender neutral/fluid.

Amrâb Yasâth = Soul Partners/Mates/Spouses (gender neutral), used pre-marriage to refer to more than one fiancé/fiancée, or post-marriage if the spouses are two separate genders or if one or more spouse gender neutral/fluid.

Amrâb Yasthûn = Soul Husband/Male Partner/Male Spouse, used post-marriage to refer to the male spouse(s).

Amrâb Yasthân = Soul Husbands/Male Partners/Male Spouses, used post-marriage to refer to more than one male spouse. (Fíli will use this one often with Merry and Pippin)

Amrâb Yasthûna = Soul Wife/Female Partner/Female Spouse, used post-marriage to refer to the female spouse(s).

Amrâb Yasthâna = Soul Wives/Female Partners/Female Spouses, used post-marriage to refer to more than one female spouse


	17. Chapter 17

And within 2 weeks, I have delivered yet another chapter! I'm on a roll here! And... I probably just jinxed myself. Ah well...

Anyway, I don't own "The Hobbit", and probably never will. Enjoy the chapter!

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"Tauriel." Legolas called to his friend from where he was organizing arrows into 'able to use again' and 'scrap' piles. "This may seem like an odd question, but are you interested in bears?"

"Bears?" Tauriel paused in scrubbing the shields that hung on the training dummies and pondered the question. "I haven't really thought about it. Why? What brought this on?"

"Thorin Oakenshield asked me this." Legolas confessed with a baffled look on his face. "Why he asked, I don't know."

"Maybe it's a dwarf thing?" Tauriel offered with a shrug.

"Maybe." Legolas agreed.

The two went back to their cleaning duties, and a peaceful silence fell for a time. But a nagging feeling wouldn't leave Tauriel be. Something had happened to Legolas in the forest when they first met the dwarves. The prince never back down from anything, so what had happened to him when he pointed his bow at the two hobbits and the young dwarf? What caused him to step back?

"My prince, what happened in the forest?" Tauriel finally asked, unable to contain her curiosity.

"Hm?" Legolas hummed.

"Legolas." Tauriel hissed, making the blond blink and focus his attention on the red haired captain. "What happened in the forest? When we first met the dwarves and halflings?"

"Hobbits." Legolas gently corrected. "They will lecture you until the sun stops shining and keep going well past moonrise if you call them that."

Tauriel shook her head and groaned. The Prince of _Eryn Galen_ (Greenwood the Great) was being evasive. And how did he know what the hobbits wanted to be called? Still, Tauriel was stubborn once she made up her mind and she wouldn't stop until she had her answer. There were times when others would say she was as stubborn as a dwarf… behind her back when they thought she couldn't hear them. It stung.

"What happened?" Tauriel ground out, slapping down her rag.

Legolas jumped at the sound, and knew that now was not the time to push her. Tauriel had been ever loyal to this kingdom, until during his last lifetime when his father had banished her. Thranduil had cruelly upheld his banishment after the death and burial of Thorin Oakenshield and his nephews as a punishment to his ex-captain of the guard. Unable to return to the land that had once been her home, Tauriel had delivered Kíli's rune-stone to his mother Dís, and then left Middle-Earth for the Undying Lands, heartbroken over the loss of the dwarf prince. With a sigh, Legolas looked straight at her.

"This goes no further." Legolas said.

Tauriel recognized the tone. This was not a question, this was an extension of trust. If she told another what she was about to be told by her friend and prince, unless it was a matter of life or death, it would tell Legolas how much that she actually valued their companionship. Tauriel nodded once. She would keep silent.

"The young dwarf that stepped in front of the two hobbits is my _Faeven_." Legolas said bluntly. "Our bond began to activate when our eyes met."

Tauriel's mouth dropped. Here she had been expecting some type of dwarf spell or maybe that a spider had gotten in a very lucky shot and stung him. Still, it explained what happened. Finding out that your _Faeven_ was a dwarf had to be shocking… Laughter spilled out of Tauriel's mouth before she could stop it.

"What?" Legolas asked sharply.

"Is it wrong that I want front row seats and snacks when your father finds out?" Tauriel asked through her giggles.

Legolas blinked, and then relaxed as he shook his head with a smile. He had missed the times when Tauriel would act like a younger girl interested in gossip and drama. She never displayed such behavior very often, but he liked to indulge himself when she did.

"I'll even help you sell the tickets." Legolas promised, prompting more mirth from his sister-friend.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Thranduil was watching the two laughing as they worked. He was too far away to hear their conversation, but he could good guess as to what they were "talking" about. The Elvenking had always thought that the two were closer than they let on, that there was a spark of romantic love between them, and what he was witnessing appeared to be good proof. He would have to speak with his captain of the guard soon… he would not let a lowly Silvan elf with no title besides the one she had fought to gain, the title of captain that could be just as easily be taken away by him, ensnare and ruin his son with her wild ways of pushing back against the darkness in the forest. No, this romantic spark would be destroyed before it could burst into consuming flames.

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Later that day, Tauriel was walking back to her rooms. Her king had summoned her to appear before him as soon as she and Prince Legolas were done with the task of cleaning the training grounds. So she had gone, tired and dirty from her battle against the spiders and then against the grime of the training grounds. Once there, Thranduil had essentially scolded her for not doing her job in getting rid of the spider's nest, which they had done not two moons past. It wasn't her fault that the beasts kept coming back,, they hadn't taken out the true source, their nest in the south. The Elvenking then rebuked her request to track the arachnids to their source, stating that they would wait out the evil within their borders as they always did.

It was then that he delivered his harshest order yet. Thranduil forbade Tauriel from seeing Legolas outside of spider removal. He told her not to give him hope of a romantic relationship between them. When Tauriel tried to explain that they saw each other as siblings, he dismissed her before she could even get a word out. All she could do was obey her king and left his presence, now wandering the halls as she tried to recover from being banned from seeing her only true friend in his kingdom.

"Excuse me?"

Tauriel snapped out of her thoughts to see the young dwarf that had been marked as part on an envoy from Rivendell, (Kíli?), in the hallway. Tauriel was fairly certain that he had a guard posted at his door, and shouldn't have been allowed to wander the hallways.

"Could you point me to the little dwarf's room?" Kíli asked, trying hard not to dance around. "I couldn't find one attached to my rooms, or even a chamber pot."

Tauriel blinked. That… explained a lot. With a sigh and a smile, Tauriel gestured back up the way he had come. Escorting him back to his rooms, Tauriel showed Kíli where exactly the bathroom was located and how the plumbing here work before leaving to give the poor dwarf some privacy. Despite exiting his rooms, Tauriel could hear the sigh of relief as the dwarf's bladder stopped protesting.

"Thank you." Kíli called as he cleaned up.

"You're welcome." Tauriel replied.

"So, what's got the pretty elf frowning?" Kíli asked after he exited the bathroom, making said elf blink in shock.

"Are you flirting with me?" Tauriel questioned with a hint of anger once she found her voice again.

"No." Kíli laughed off her irritation. "I'm off the market, so to speak. But that doesn't mean I can't give anyone a compliment ever again."

Tauriel blinked again, and found herself relaxing. Yeah, not complimenting anyone again didn't sound like a very good life. To her surprise, Tauriel found that she spilling what had happened between her and Thranduil just a few minutes prior to meeting him, and how badly she wanted to slap Thranduil for being such a jerk. Kíli listen, made acknowledging noises, and thought about what he had been told for a minute when she was done ranting.

"Feeling better?" Kíli asked.

"Yes." Tauriel nodded. "I needed that."

"We all do at some point in our lives." Kíli agreed. "I know that it's not much, but maybe I could relay messages between you and Legolas for the time being."

"I'd like that." Tauriel nodded with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Kíli smiled back.

"Oh, one other thing." Tauriel paused. "Thorin Oakenshield wants to know if I'm interested in bears. Do you know why?"

Kíli mouthed the word, trying to figure out if there was some sort of hidden meaning behind it. What an odd thing to possibly wonder about, especially since the thought had come from his uncle. Unless… maybe he had actually meant something else entirely. Maybe, just maybe, Thorin had been thinking of their new friend.

"Actually, have you ever met the Skin-Changer who lives to the west of Mirkwood?" Kíli asked.

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"So you think that Tauriel's _Faeven_ is Beorn?" Bilbo asked quietly after delivering a message from Thorin to Kíli to back to Thorin.

"Or at least a very close match." Thorin nodded his head, grateful for the chance to speak with the hobbit-fairy while everyone else slept since he had volunteered for 'guard duty'. "Her personality is close to what Beorn desires for a mate, and based on what I know of Tauriel, she'd be an excellent match for our Skin-Changer friend."

"There's only one way to find out." Legolas said from the door, making the dwarf and hobbit-fairy jump in fear. "Peace, _mellon-nin_ (my friend), I am glad to see you are safe. Our future is tied together in ways that I wouldn't have thought possible unless I had already experienced it."

"So you do remember." Bilbo sighed as he and Thorin relaxed, relief flooding their bones.

"Yes." Legolas nodded. "Gimli, Merry, and Pippin triggered my memories. I do hope that we can prevent several future tragedies."

"Smaug burning down Laketown, gold/dragon sickness, Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli dying, and having Frodo…" Bilbo broke off, unable to continue.

"Aye." Legolas sighed as he leaned against the door. "Though I do find myself curious about your current form. How did…?"

"It's our original form." Bilbo grinned. "Hobbits were 'born' in the gardens of the Entwives."

"They were granted a larger form with the aid of _Kaminzabdûna_ , Lady Yavanna." Thorin picked up. "But when the gardens were burned down by men of the east and south, many lost their wings to their greed, the men believing them to be good luck charms. The rest went into hiding in their normally seen forms west of the Greenwood and east of the Misty Mountains until Sméagol found the One Ring, then they traveled over the mountains to settle in the Shire."

"Interesting." Legolas hummed. "I was coming here to ask Thorin if he knew where the hobbit who is actually _supposed_ to be on this quest was, but that question got answered."

Bilbo giggled merrily. Yeah, 3 hobbits that weren't Bilbo were bound to be confusing, even if Legolas did know who Merry and Pippin were. Chuckling as well, Thorin poked Gimli in the ribs, making the younger dwarf startle awake. Gimli glared as his king for waking him from his sleep until he spotted Legolas standing at the door to their cell. With a happy grin, Gimli went to the front so he and Legolas could talk together in low voices for a time. Thorin and Bilbo retreated to the back of the cell to give them some privacy, but were quickly beckoned back up by Legolas.

"The reason I wished to speak with Bilbo was to offer a place to sleep in my chambers if he needed it." Legolas admitted. "I didn't want him to have to hide using that, _thing_ , all the time."

"It's probably safer there." Gimli added. "A guard walking by here could look in and see him."

"But I don't want to leave Thorin." Bilbo pouted.

"It's only for 5 weeks." Thorin replied. "You can visit in that time."

"True." Bilbo sighed, and have Thorin's nose a hug before flying over to slip into one of Legolas' pockets. "Keep your temper down, Thorin."

"You keep your mischief down." Thorin countered.

"Ah…" Bilbo looked off to the side with a sheepish expression.

With a chuckle, Legolas gave Gimli a kiss to the forehead, and quickly walked away, the patrolling guard believing the prince had just been walking through. Legolas quickly went to his bedchambers. Once there, Bilbo came out of his pocket and found the items he would need for a small bed. Placing the items on high up on a bookshelf so it was out of his line of sight, Legolas bid the hobbit-fairy a good rest before heading into his bedroom. With Bilbo hiding safely in his chambers, Legolas could relax a touch and keep his composure while they waited for _Mereth E-Ngilith_ (The Feast of Starlight).

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Time flew by quickly and slowly. The dwarves were board for the most part, but found Merry and Pippin to be very entertaining with their hobbit songs and sass that made it obvious that they were related to Bilbo and Hildifons. The two claimed that they were descendants of Bandobras 'Bullroar' Took, and thus were part of the clan of North Tooks who lived in Long Cleeve, which would explain how Hildifons didn't know them. Hildifons enjoyed being able to teach Merry and Pippin how to change into their fairy forms. Neither of them could manage it just yet, but they were getting closer.

Bilbo visited Thorin daily, not being able to stand having to be separated. Thankfully, Bilbo was much healthier than the last time he had to do this. Staying in Legolas' rooms had given him a safe place to sleep and food any time that he needed it. Of course, that didn't mean he could just relax. A few times, Thranduil, Tauriel, or a guard had almost found him. Legolas usually caused a distraction, but Bilbo could tell that they were curious about what they thought they saw.

On September 21st, short before the start of the Feast of Starlight, Bilbo was dozing behind a bowl of fruit in Legolas' chambers, slowly nibbling on some grapes. Getting the feeling he was being watched, Bilbo looked up to see Thranduil looking down on him with a shocked look on his face. It was at that moment that Bilbo recalled Thranduil having participated in the Last Alliance, and had lost his father, Oropher, during the final battle. But his involvement let Thranduil know about the hobbit's fairy form, and hobbits in general. Maybe the elf had thought his kind had gone extinct or something, until Merry, Pippin, and Hildifons came along, that is.

"Hi." Bilbo chirped as he nibbled on some more grapes.

Thranduil nodded. And then sat down in a chair… hard. Bilbo tilted his head to the side, as if Thranduil was a puzzle he wanted to figure out. Thranduil just stared at Bilbo more. With a shrug, Bilbo went back to his fruit, and waited for the Elvenking to sort himself enough to speak.

"You are a hobbit." Thranduil stated.

"Yes." Bilbo nodded, wiping his mouth on a rather larger handkerchief that had been left on the table.

"Your kind disappeared years ago." Thranduil continued. "Vanished… believed to have gone extinct."

"My ancestors decided to go west over the Misty Mountains." Bilbo explained. "An evil darkness was spreading, so they left."

Thranduil understood that. His people had nowhere to go when the darkness spread, the source of that evil originating in Dol Guldur, and all he could do was pull back his borders while refusing to let his warriors confront the contamination head on in the south. The sickly feeling felt to much like Sauron's dark magic for him to be comfortable with letting his people try and attack the spiders in their main nest.

"By the way, what's the story with you and the White Gems of Lasgalen I keep hearing about?" Bilbo asked, changing the subject.

"How did you hear about that?" Thranduil demanded, almost standing.

"Do you have any idea how much the people around here gossip?" Bilbo snorted. "All I have heard about lately are the dwarves in the cells or the one in the delegate's rooms, and the White Gems of Lasgalen, but I don't think I'm getting the full story."

Thranduil was silent for a time. He hadn't told the tale of those gems in over 1,500 years, but found that his tongue had been loosened by the hobbit's asking. The White Gems of Lasgalen had originally been found by his father, Oropher, in Doriath during the years of starlight, the years of the Two Trees, before the sun and moon had risen. The gems and any items made with the gems were claimed by Oropher to be heirlooms of his house. It was in Doriath that Thranduil and Oropher had resided until its fall. Oropher had managed to spirit away a small chest of the starlight gems, but the rest were lost.

After Oropher's death in the Last Alliance, Thranduil married Lady Aearlin, an elf maiden from the Gray Havens who did not feel the call of the sea. He had the gems crafted into a necklace for her by the Dwarves of Erebor, giving them a small handful of starlight gems and half of the mithril he had brought with him for payment. The finished necklace, earrings, bracelets, and crown made Aearlin look like the stars themselves when she wore them. Thranduil's joy had grown when she gave him a son, Legolas, whom they claimed had sparkling stars in his eyes and his hair.

And then Aearlin had been kidnapped by the Northern realm of Angmar, home of the Witch-King, Sauron's second hand. The people of the Greenwood declared war on the northern territory, and near then end of that war, Aearlin's broken necklace and bracelets on her mangled corpse was what they discovered, her crown and earrings lost to the fell creatures of the north. The Elvenking couldn't bring himself to tell his young son what had happened to his mother, and claimed that they had not found her body, only the broken heirlooms.

Thranduil couldn't bring himself to look at the gems, or Legolas, again for some time, until he finally found that he was ready to move a bit past her death and have his wife's necklace and bracelets re-crafted by the Dwarves of Erebor, once again bringing the chest of gems and mithril to be split for payment. But this time, King Thrór's greed had not allowed him to take back the heirlooms when the recreation was done, and they had been lying beneath Smaug's feet ever since the day the dragon had come down from the North.

Bilbo was silent as he processed the tale. Thranduil had never been very forthcoming about what happened to his deceased wife last lifetime, so it was quite sobering to hear the story. Now he understood why Thranduil wanted the gems back so badly, but that still was a poor excuse for not helping the rest of the injured dwarves after Smaug attacked. Thranduil acting like a two year old had caused the deaths of many women and children in that first week because of no medical treatment. But that was in the past, and it would do no good to hold his actions against him now.

With a soft hum, Bilbo flew to the balcony on Legolas' rooms. It looked into the city, not out into the forest for the protection of those that lived there. From that vantage point, he could see the prince looking for his king after escorting Kíli to the Feast of Starlight. Later on, Legolas would bring Kíli down into the cellars so they could escape, but for now, Bilbo just watched, knowing that Thranduil had followed him out onto the balcony.

"You wife exists in more then the gems, you know." Bilbo said as he looked up.

Thranduil inhaled sharply, but didn't rebuke Bilbo's words. Last lifetime, Gandalf had been the one to say them in Dale, after Thranduil had irrevocably damaged the relationship between himself and his son by threatening Tauriel's life. Hopefully, that could be avoided this time around. With a small nod, Bilbo flew back into Legolas' rooms and out the door just as Legolas entered his chambers to look for his father. The elf prince blinked as Bilbo flew past him and headed towards the cellars. Shaking his head, Legolas looked around and saw his father come in from his balcony, but there was something different about him.

" _Ada?_ (Father?)" Legolas asked.

Thranduil didn't reply. He took in his son's face, and for once didn't feel ill when he saw the blue colored sparkling star eyes, the eyes of Aearlin. Thranduil stepped forward and pulled his child into his arms. Legolas gasped and found his mind had gone blank, not being able to recall the last time that his father had hugged him. Relaxing into his hold, Legolas embraced Thranduil back, burying his face in his father's shoulder.

This… this was nice.

"I'm sorry." Thranduil whispered. "I haven't been the father that you deserve."

"I forgive you." Legolas replied as he gave his father a squeeze. "You are exactly who I deserve, just as much as you deserve me, never doubt that… And all dads feel this way at some point, it's this little thing called 'parenting'."

"Smart aleck." Thranduil 'growled' into the top of Legolas' head, but there was no bite in it.

"Only for you." Legolas grinned.

The two elves remained that way for a time, but eventually pulled apart, feeling closer then they had in centuries. Looking into his son's eyes again, Thranduil finally realized that all he wanted now was for his son to be happy, even if it wasn't what he had originally planned.

"I won't stand in the way of your happiness." Thranduil confessed. "But do give me time to adjust to any shocks that come my way from you."

"I will." Legolas promised. "And _Ada?_ (Father?) I'm letting you know now that I don't see Tauriel as a potential spouse. She more like the annoying little sister that is always following you around."

"What?" Tauriel's shriek came from Legolas' doorway, where the female elf had been walking past on her way to the Feast of Starlight.

Legolas turned pale while Thranduil smirked. The captain of the guard had her hands on her hips, her eyes alit with fire. Thranduil raised his hands and stepped back, leaving his child open as fair game. Tauriel's eyes sparkled for a second as she realized that her king has taken back his prior order for her to stay away from his son when they weren't working, and Legolas realized it as well. With a cry of disbelief at what his father had just done, Legolas turned and jumped off his balcony to land on the path below, Tauriel hot on his heels and screaming all sorts of profanities at him.

" _Ada_ (Father) how could you?" Legolas wailed as he raced past the prison cells with the dwarves and hobbits watching the action.

"I do believe that it's this little thing called 'parenting'." Thranduil replied, quoting his child's words back as he followed at a more sedated pace.

Thranduil chuckled as he watched Tauriel chase Legolas around the kingdom, enjoying himself. He was now fashionably late for the feast, but this was more amusing. The dwarves in the prison cells actually made things even more humorous as Legolas ran by with a look of terror on his face. They kept commenting on how scary females were no matter which race they were, and how males would never understand them.

"He'll figure it out one of these days." Thorin commented, startling Thranduil even though his face betrayed nothing. "If it's not the girl herself, she has spies _everywhere_ to find things out for her."

That was probably the one thing that Thranduil and Thorin Oakenshield would ever agree on.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Galion, we're running out of drink." Elros, the guardsman who was often in charge of keeping an eye on the dwarves, scolded his _Faeven_ (Soul Mate) as he came down the stair to the cellar to see that several workers were only just finishing their evening duties before departing. "And these empty wine barrels were supposed to be sent back to Esgaroth hours ago. The bargeman will be waiting for them."

"You worry too much, the bargeman already knows that there is a feast today and to expect the barrels later." Galion dismissed with another sip of wine, though he already was a tad bit tipsy. "Despite our king's ill temper, he has an excellent taste in wine. Come Elros, you must try it."

"I can't." Elros said, sounding regretful as he held up his key-ring. "I have the dwarves in my charge."

"They're locked up." Galion laughed as he hung up the keys on a nearby wall hook. "Where can they go? Now my love, join me."

Neither one of them noticed the hobbit fairy slip a sleeping aid from the healer's wing into the wine they were drinking from. Once they were passed out, Bilbo switched back to his normal form, grabbed the keys, and slipped out of the cellars to where the dwarves were waiting for him to rescue them.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Kíli was humming the tune of a dwarven drinking song that Legolas swore he had heard Gimli sing before, but for the life of him, the elven prince couldn't remember the words.

Tauriel had chased him around for nearly half an hour before Legolas threw up his arms and sat down with a pout in front of the cell holding Gimli and Thorin, ignoring the teasing coming the neighboring cells. It didn't take long for her to catch up. Tauriel glared at him, smacked him upside the head, and then walked away as she went to the feast. Legolas wanted to comment on the infuriating habits of the female species, but decided that it wasn't worth risking his life, so got up and followed her, and his traitorous laughing father, to _Mereth E-Ngilith_ (The Feast of Starlight).

Kíli had been enjoying himself, calmly drinking several already drunk elves under the table, and then proceeding to beat the rest at darts. Thranduil waved aside complaints from the losers, saying that it was their own faults for trying to out drink a dwarf while already intoxicated. When Kíli started to get 'tipsy', Legolas volunteered to take him back to his rooms. Moving quickly, Legolas pushed Kíli down the hallway to the cellars, where they could hear the rest of the dwarves already gathered.

"Everyone, get in the barrels." Bilbo's whispered was the first thing they heard.

"You're mad." Dwalin shot back. "We'll be found."

"Do as he says." Thorin growled, making the dwarves duck their heads in shame for doubting their burglar for a moment before they moved to obey.

"What about Kíli?" Fíli asked, pausing before he climbed in.

"One slightly drunk dwarf right here." Legolas said as he and Kíli finished descending the stairs, the dwarf prince still absently humming his ale drinking song.

The dwarves were instantly on guard, but found themselves shocked as Legolas deposited Kíli in one of the barrels feet first. The elf then turned to a side room and hauled out their outer coats, weapons, and some packs filled with more dried foods and water skins. Each dwarf grabbed what was theirs, still in shock that the Elvenking's son was _helping_ them, but did not complain, and slid into the barrels. Merry, Pippin, and Gimli together briefly spoke with Legolas, no doubt asking if he would follow, and Legolas gave a nod and quiet reply that no one else could hear.

"You're coming with me, _Barrel-Rider_." Thorin whispered into Bilbo's ear, and hauled his hobbit into the barrel with him.

Bilbo groaned, feeling so embarrassed. Last lifetime, the company had become the absolute _worst_ mother hens in Laketown after finding out that the hobbit's barrel escape plan happened without their hobbit knowing how to swim… at all… Thorin had not forgotten this little detail, and was not going to let his hobbit risk almost drowning if his grip on a barrel loosened. They had been extremely lucky that they had lost no one during the orc ambush, but they had no guarantee that it would turn out the same again.

"Thanks for the help." Bilbo said to Legolas, and 18 fuzzy heads of hair poked out of their barrels to mumble their gratitude as well.

"Now what do we do?" Bofur asked.

"Keep your heads down until you pass the guard gate." Legolas instructed as he grasped the lever. "You'll know it's safe to stand after you go over your second waterfall."

"Waterfall?" Bofur asked with wide eyes.

"Hold your breaths." Legolas smirked with a sing-song tone of voice.

The Prince of _Eryn Galen_ (Greenwood the Great) pushed down on the lever, which activated the drop system, sending the barrels into the river with shouts from the dwarves and hobbits as they entered the cold river. Once the trapdoor had closed, Legolas looked for the keys for the cells, and found them hanging up on the wall. Thank you Bilbo, for making this easier. Legolas could hear Tauriel above him asking where the Keeper of the Keys was, and looked over to Elros and Galion, who were slowly waking from their drunken naptime.

Legolas grabbed a heavy cookbook that was down there for whatever reason, and dropped it on the table, where the loud noise startled both elves into awareness. Of course, they both groaned at the sound and attempted to plug their ears while rubbing away their hangovers.

"Galion, Elros." Legolas greeted with a chilling smile that he had learned from Gimli. "Did you two have a nice drink while on duty?"

The two shook their heads to clear the fog, processed the prince's words, and then paled drastically, but not from protesting stomachs. The only reason they would be forced awake so rudely is if something had gone wrong during the night. And the terrifying look that Legolas was giving them pretty much confirmed it.

"My prince, we…" Galion tried to explain.

"Save it." Legolas snapped and directed his attention to the other elf, who was making a valiant effort to disappear into his chair. "Elros, you were in charge of the dwarves last night. Can you tell me where they are now, at this very moment?"

"No." Elros whispered, honestly looking as if he was going to cry.

With his ears hearing footsteps coming closer, Legolas knew he had to finish quickly. Thankfully, he knew from Bilbo that the two were going to be drugged with a sleeping aid from the healing wing. With a sigh, Legolas picked up the bottle of wine the two had been drinking from, and took a whiff. Yep, there was the sleeping aid Bilbo had added mixed in with the fermented fruit. Being drugged would prevent them from being punished to harshly by Thranduil.

"Looks like you aren't completely at fault." Legolas commented and cleared his nasal passages with a sneeze into his elbow. "There appears to be a sleeping aid in the bottle of wine you were drinking from. You were drugged."

Tauriel a few other Mirkwood guards came down the stairs into the cellars at that moment. There was no way that she and the other guardsmen did not hear what Legolas just said. Legolas set the wine back down on the table and approached the captain of the guard.

"The dwarves have escaped, most likely with the aid of Prince Kíli." Legolas stated, even though they probably knew that already. "Sound the alarm."

-0-0-0-0-0-

Pairings seen for the first time: possible Beorn/Tauriel, Past Thranduil/Thranduil's Wife: OFC Aearlin, and mentioned Galion/Elros

The Beorn/Tauriel pairing was inspired by Chapter 24 of A Shot in the Dark by Silver Pup, which can be found on FFN and AO3. I'm personally all for it, but I'm going to let you guys decided if you like the idea or not.

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Translations_

Eryn Galen = Sindarin for: Greenwood the Great, a name for the portion of woodland that is Thranduil's kingdom

Faeven = Sindarin for: Soul Mate, male

Mellon-nin = Sindarin for: My friend

Kaminzabdûna = Khuzdul for: Yavanna, Queen of the Earth lit. Earth Queen

Mereth E-Ngilith = Sindarin for: the Feast of Starlight; This is what the subtitles in the movie said, so that is what I am using!

Ada = Sindarin for: Father

-0-0-0-0-0-

 _Timeline_

August 15th, year 2931: Legolas and Tauriel clean and talk, Tauriel rants about how mean Thranduil is to Kíli, Thorin speculates that Beorn is Tauriel's _Faeven_ , Legolas confirms he has his memories of the future, and Bilbo receives a safer place to sleep than the prison cells, (late evening).

August 16th - September 20th, year 2931: Bilbo hides in the Mirkwood kingdom and spends the next 5 weeks waiting for the Feast of Starlight to start the escape plan.

September 21st, year 2931: The Feast of Starlight, Bilbo is accidentally discovered by Thranduil, the hobbit-fairy and elf talk about the White Gems of Lasgalen, Thranduil's deceased wife, and Legolas. Thranduil semi-snaps out of his pity party and resolves to do better by his son, Bilbo gets the keys and springs the company, and Legolas pulls the lever sending the wine barrels filled with dwarves and hobbits into the river before 'sounding the alarm'.

-0-0-0-0-0-

I'm such a stinker, not letting you know if Bolg is going to cause issues. ;p

Bilbo's line to Thranduil about his wife giving him more than the gems was in the bonus features of the extended edition of The Battle of the Five Armies, an extra scene that didn't make it into the film.

And please let me know what you think of the Beorn/Tauriel pairing idea.

Comment/Review, depending on which site you're on.


	18. Chapter 18

Time for an epic barrel ride, here we go!

And it's three weeks from my last update, at least it's not three months!

Thank you to all who voted, it looks like Beorn and Tauriel will be happening in the future.

I don't own 'The Hobbit', and I never will. Enjoy!

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If anyone had been drowsy earlier, they weren't anymore.

The cold river water sent a jolt down your spine and snapped your eyes open wide. Thorin, who was in the lead barrel with Bilbo, grabbed the sides of the wall, and held everyone back as they righted themselves. There were grumbles about the chill, but at least no one's barrel had bobbed back up upside-down.

"Everyone duck down." Thorin ordered, and waited until the company had all crouched down in their barrels as best they could before he let go.

It was a bit difficult for Thorin and Bilbo to arrange themselves, until Bilbo shrunk down to his fairy size and tucked himself into Thorin's chest pocket. Bracing himself, Thorin got a good view through a peephole in his barrel at what was coming. Stiffening his arms and legs, the dwarf prepared for the first waterfall in their rough journey.

"Brace yourselves." Thorin called, and promptly began the waterfall tumble.

More yells were heard, despite the fact that they were trying to sneak out under the upcoming guard's noses. How had they even managed this last lifetime? Once they had stopped bobbing back and forth to the point of near capsizing, Thorin readjusted his position to keep himself as low as possible. Maybe this time they'd be able to sneak by, and the guards wouldn't get slaughtered by Bolg's ambush. A pained grunt, and splash of water in front of Thorin's barrel made the dwarf's heart sink, and it sank lower when he heard the orc snarl at the remaining elves.

A horn was sounded by one of the remaining guards, calling for back up before it was suddenly cut off because another orc had stabbed the elf. It was at that point that Thorin went over the next waterfall. They had avoided being discovered, but the elves had still fallen to the hands of Bolg's squadron. With a grunt, Thorin pushed himself up enough so he could count the barrels, hoping that the company was past the gate. Seeing it was so, the dwarf stood up and gave a loud whistle.

Orcs and elves looked out on the river, while dwarves and hobbits stood up, all looking at Thorin with blank stares.

"You missed us!" Thorin called out in a teasing manner.

All eyes grew wide as they realized that Thorin was purposely calling the orcs, and elves, to chase after them. But Thorin wasn't willing to have Bolg kill the elves that would be needed when the bastards came to attack Erebor later. Thorin hefted up his axe instead of _Orcrist_ , and mentally prepared for the next round of battle ahead. It was not going to be an easy one. The rapids and the spinning in the barrels, indeed, make it difficult to focus on the enemies upon the shoreline. The orcs shot arrows at the dwarrows and hobbits, thankfully only hitting the barrels and not flesh. That was one thing that Thorin was thankful for, Kíli hadn't gotten injured with the poisoned arrow… yet… hopefully not… please?

The elves and the orcs were chasing each other, and the barrels filled with either a dwarf or a hobbit, down both sides of the riverbank. Arrows flew, orc and elves dropped, either injured or dead. Some orcs succeeded in jumping on top of the barrels, but they were quickly killed or just knocked off by the barrel's occupant, or by Bilbo or Hildifons zipping out of hiding to yank them off before zipping back in to hide. One orc jumped on Dwalin's barrel, prompting the dwarf to grab the orc's axe and ram the orc into the rapids via head-slam. Forcing his barrel to face forward again, Dwalin was greeted to the lovely little sight of a dead tree over the river with about a dozen or so orcs on top of it.

"Cut the log!" Thorin yelled.

Any dwarf with an axe in their hand, (whether it was orc or dwarven didn't matter), that could still reach the log, swung their current weapon of choice at the makeshift bridge. Dori, Nori, Glóin, Bofur, Bifur, Fíli, Thorin, and Dáin, dodged the orc weapons as they chipped away the wood. Dwalin's blow cut through the log completely, sending the orcs upon it crashing into the water.

An orc spearman sprung onto Bombur's barrel, and they went under the water with a splash. When they surfaced again, the orc had been skewered by his own spear, and the force of it propelled Bombur, barrel and all, onto the riverbank. The barrel mowed down several orcs, bouncing off of rocks, bounced over the river, and plowed down more orcs before finally coming to a stop. The orcs surrounded the barrel, and Bombur's feet burst from the bottom and his arms from the sides, somehow wielding an axe in each hand. The largest dwarf of the company went berserker on the orcs, a whirlwind of destruction, flinging bits of splintered wood of the busted barrel as he went. Knocking aside his final opponents, Bombur shed the remains of his now ruined barrel, leapt back into the river, and into another empty barrel.

"I think Sam is going to be disappointed that he missed that." Pippin commented as his barrow-blade stabbed another orc who thought he or Merry would be an easy picking.

"Yes he will." Merry agreed as he hamstringed another.

Legolas, who had been hopping from barrel to barrel and shooting down orcs on the barrels or on the riverbank, leapt up and came down on solid ground with the grace that all elves had. His bow, (damn, he missed the one that he had been gifted in Lothlórien), sang as arrows were fired through the air, hitting orcs close-up or far away. The elf's fighting took him to the top of a hills and he again failed to notice the orc coming up from behind because he was focused on the orc in front of him. Thorin threw the orc axe in his hand, watching as it spun through the air before sinking into the chest of the orc before it could strike Legolas down.

The elf prince dispatched his final opponent, and glanced behind him to see the dead orc. He had noticed the axe sail over his shoulder for the second time, and was kicking himself for not taking the precaution of Thorin not having the axe on hand. He was lucky, that Legolas knew. The dwarves looked back and watched as they flowed downstream, away from danger. The elves had ceased their pursuit, but he orcs still followed. Hopefully, the current would outpace the vile creatures soon.

Legolas breathed deeply several times, fully aware that there was another orc, Fimbul, behind him with an arrow drawn and pointed at his 'unguarded' back. Spinning around, Legolas shot the arrow out of the air at the same time as Tauriel. Distracted by two separate fronts, Fimbul was distracted long enough for Tauriel to disarm him and forced him to his knees.

"Tauriel!" Legolas' tone made the female stop, preventing his friend from beheading the creature. "Stay your hand. This one we leave alive for questioning."

Tauriel nodded once. She despised these dark creatures simply because they had killed her parents when she was a very young child barely out of her milk years, making her the rarely orphaned elfling. The two watched the barrels a moment longer before they turned to head back into the kingdom. Legolas found himself wondering what his father would do. Would he close their boarders once more, or would something else occur?

But one thing was for certain, they wouldn't know until they got there.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Why do the stupid elves have to do everything so… elegantly?" Pippin whined much later.

"Because they're _elves_." Nori replied.

"They're probably getting manicures done right now, you know." Merry said, proceeding to pretend to be an elf that was filing their fingernails, making everyone else laugh and call out that they also wanted facials or a massage.

They had been in the barrels for a very long time… the sun had set and risen again. The only cheerful point of that day was when Merry and Pippin wished Bilbo a happy 41st Birthday. Of course, that prompted the dwarves to do the same and demands to know why they hadn't been told his birthday was coming up. Bilbo's response was that he didn't know what date it actually was. Legolas hadn't kept a calendar in his rooms.

"Is there anything behind us?" Thorin called back.

"Not that I can see." Balin, who was at the end of the line, yelled back.

"I think we've out run the orcs." Bofur commented after spitting out a mouthful of water.

"Not for long." Thorin groaned. "We've lost the current."

"Uncle, we're all half-drowned." Kíli called.

"Make for the shore." Thorin ordered, and started to paddle towards the riverbank.

There were groans, but all did as Thorin ordered. Once at the shore, Thorin rolled out of his barrel and marched up to solid dry ground, but doubled back to help everyone else onto the land. Ori was particularly weakened after their long ordeal, but Dwalin had enough strength for the both of them. Bilbo hopped out of Thorin's pocket and went to his larger normal form. To him, it didn't matter if he was on a barrel or in a barrel, he never wanted to do that again! Soon, the company and their supplies were on dry land.

"Do we have enough time to make a fire and dry off?" Pippin asked as he rung out his black tunic with a silver tree embossed on the front.

"Not with an orc pack on our tails." Dáin shook his head and he tried to wring the water out of his beard. "We'll be caught while we're standing around in our skivvies."

"Where do we go now?" Ori managed to ask.

"To the mountain." Bilbo replied. "We're so close."

"A lake lies between us and that mountain." Balin apparently had decided to be pessimistic today. "We have no way to cross it."

"So then we go around." Bilbo tried to keep the optimism up.

"The orcs will run us down, and we're exhausted." Dwalin shook his head. "It will be difficult to run them off with no injuries or deaths."

"At least we have our weapons and some supplies." Pippin pointed out. "But some shelter would do some good."

"And where do you propose we find that, Pip?" Merry asked sarcastically.

"How about from him?" Pippin nonchalantly pointed.

All eyes turned to see the man with his bow drawn and arrow pointed at them. The dwarves were instantly on the defensive, but no arrows were fired at them. Bilbo and Thorin glanced at each other and then back up at Bard. The man had the higher ground, so it wasn't a good idea for them to try and attack him. Besides, they needed the help that the bargeman would, (currently unknowingly), be giving to them.

"Sir, you're from Laketown, correct?" Bilbo took a cautious step forward, keeping his hands up where Bard could see them, and filling the role that Balin had filled last lifetime. "That barge over there, is it available for hire?"

Heads turned to see Bard's boat anchored at the shore.

"How did we miss that?" Bofur asked.

"You make it seem like I want to help you." Bard replied to Bilbo as he took his arrow off the string and put it back in his quiver. "Which I don't."

"Why is that?" Bilbo questioned.

"I am currently authorized to bring empty barrels back into Laketown." Bard stated. "Not empty barrels, dwarves, and… whatever you and your kin are. I'm sorry, what are you?"

"We're hobbits." Pippin said flatly.

"Hobbits?" Bard shook his head.

"Halflings?" Merry ground out.

"Oh, right." Bard nodded. "Based on your tone, the term 'halfling' is insulting."

"It is." Bilbo nodded.

"I still can't help you." Bard shook his head, and rubbed the barrels near one of the arrow marks. "These barrels came from the Woodland Realm. Whatever business you had with King Thranduil, I can tell that it didn't go very well. The Master of Laketown would sooner see you in jail then jeopardize his trade with King Thranduil, which is where all of his wealth comes from."

"Those marks came from orc arrows." Bilbo replied, and Bard took a closer look. "Careful not to cut yourself on them, orc weapons are typically poisoned, so you'll probably have to scrap all the barrels. Prince Legolas came up with the idea to send us on our way in the barrels to try and help us avoid an orc pack that has been tracking us. As you can see, it didn't really work."

"All the more reason the Master won't let you in." Bard pursed his lip. "He definitely won't want orcs in his town."

"We just need a place for one night, at least, it depends if any of us get sick." Bilbo pleaded. "We're heading to the Iron Hills. Dáin, the red-head with the hobbit fussing over him-"

"Oy!"

"Is Lord of the Iron Hills." Bilbo continued. "The fussing hobbit is my Uncle Hildifons, and Merry and Pippins… cousin/uncle, I'm not sure how many times removed. The rest of the dwarves, except for Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur, are related to Dáin. They are second or third cousins I believe."

Bard pursed his lips tighter as he continued to haul the remainder of the barrels onto his boat. One night he wouldn't mind, but he still didn't want to get into trouble with the Master and his guards. That man had it in for him simply because he refused to let his eldest daughter marry the slimeball. That, and they were the true descendants of Girion, Lord of Dale. The Master's paranoia believed the Bard was plotting against him to over throw the ruling 'government', but he couldn't make any of his petty charges stick… yet.

This might be the scale tipper.

"Look, is there a bridge or something we can use?" Bilbo tired a different route.

"Aye." Bard gave the information. "But if you go that route, you're going to be taxed heavily."

"And paying for a smuggler won't drain the coin from our pockets?" Bilbo snorted.

Bard nodded with a short laugh, conceding the point to the hobbit. It didn't matter what happened in the near future, their pockets were going to be a lot lighter by the time they made it into Laketown. With a sigh, the man finally gave into his inner debate of helping the travelers.

"Half a mile south is the bridge." Bard instructed. "It's quite a walk to the town, and the upkeep on the bridge isn't what it used to be. The toll gates will imply a heavy tax for you to get through, entering the town or leaving it. Good luck making it to the other side without the Master hauling you into the town square. And please leave my name out of it."

"But, we don't know your name." Kíli pointed out slowly.

"Let's keep it that way." Bard replied, and began to strap down the barrels.

"Thank you." Bilbo nodded his head, tossed a small bag of gold coins to the startled man, and started in the direction of the bridge.

"You paid him?" Glóin demanded.

"His coat and boots have seen better days." Bilbo replied. "If he was a single man with no dependents, his clothes would be in better condition. He probably has children to feed."

"I don't trust this lippy lake-man." Dwalin snarled.

"I trust him more than I trust all the orcs chasing us combined." Pippin injected.

"Fair point." Dori agreed.

"Let's move." Thorin instructed. "I'd rather have someplace warm and dry to sleep tonight. We'll worry about payments later."

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Such is the nature of evil." Thranduil walked in a slow circle around the orc that Legolas and Tauriel had captured and brought back for questioning. "Out there in the vast ignorance of the world, it festers and spreads. A shadow that grows in the dark. A sleepless malice as black as the oncoming wall of night. So it ever was… so it shall always be. In time, all foul things come forth."

"You were tracking a company of 15 dwarves and 4 hobbits with orders to kill them." Legolas picked up. "Why? What is Thorin Oakenshield to you?"

"The dwarf runt will never be king!" Fimbul snarled.

"There is no King Under the Mountain, nor will there ever be." Legolas cut of the orc, pressing his dagger closer to the creature's throat. "None would dare enter Erebor while the dragon lives."

"You know nothing!" Fimbul hissed back in orkish delight. "Your world will burn. Our time had come again. My master serves the One. Do you understand now, _elfling_? Death is upon you. The flames of war are upon you. The time of the orcs has come!"

Fimbul laughed, but it was cut off by Thranduil's sword slicing through the air. Legolas and Tauriel wrinkled their noses at the now decapitated orc, Legolas again holding the orcs head while the body fell to the floor, twitching.

"Really?" Legolas sighed as he looked at his father and dropped the head. "There was more he could have told us."

"There was nothing more he could have told me." Thranduil replied as he stomped on the corpse's ankle, forcing it to stop moving. "And I wasn't going to let that thing run loose again."

"What did the orc mean by that they served the 'One'?" Tauriel asked.

"I fear what it may mean." Thranduil stated. "The orcs have only ever served two masters. One was dispatched by the Valar at the end of the First Age, and the second was believed to have been defeated at the end of the Second Age. But Isildur never destroyed the One Ring. War may be upon us, whether we desire it or not."

"So the 'One' is…" Legolas paused. "Sauron?"

"I am almost certain of it." Thranduil began to explain. "The darkness that has grown in this forest reminds me to much of the Dark Lord's foul magic in Mordor. That is why I have not allowed anyone to travel to the ruined fortress, where the magic is strongest."

Tauriel ducked her head down, feeling ashamed that she even thought ill of her king's orders. Of course he had a reason for not allowing even a scouting party to travel south, and now that she knew the reason, it was embarrassing that she had thought it had come from spite. Legolas felt a touch mortified as well, though he had understood why his father insisted they keep the spiders out and not track them to their main nest.

"And the flames of war…" Tauriel gathered her thoughts and took a deep breath. "The enemy means to use Smaug, don't they?"

"The enemy intends to unleash a weapon so great it will destroy all before it, and a Dragon certainly fits in that category." Thranduil descended a series of stairs to give orders to several of the nearby guards. "Double the watches and the guards on our boarders, all roads and all rivers. For now, we monitor the orc movements. If they are heading south, do not engage. East to west, west to east, and south to north shall be dealt with swiftly. Do not leave the boarders unless you are in pursuit a top commander, like the tall pale orcs of Gundabad."

Tauriel and Legolas bowed their heads. Legolas was impressed that his father hadn't sealed the boarders to let the evil fall on its own. And while he wasn't sure what Bilbo had said to Thranduil before the Feast of Starlight, it had invoked a change in the Elvenking, making him desire to be more involved with the outside world again. It was with a sad smile that Legolas went to his rooms. Somehow, he would need to head north in pursuit of Bolg. But the spawn of Azog would attack the dwarves and Bard's children in Laketown, so that was where he needed to be. With a silent apology to his father, Legolas grabbed the bag of supplies he had prepared, and slipped out the back door.

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About an hour later the dwarves and hobbits were paying the first toll gate. The men there had tried to swindle them, but Merry and Pippin talked the guards in circles to the point where they only had to pay 1 silver coin for each person. They men were grumbling, but did the tax paperwork and let them pass. They actually hailed down Bard in his barge and had him take them the rest of the way in. The man didn't look happy, but didn't voice his disapproval to the Master's spies.

"Bless my beard." Fíli whispered a little while later.

All eyes turned to see the Lonely Mountain, shroud in fog, but beautifully silhouetted against the setting sun.

"You guys get some amazing views out here." Merry commented to Bard.

The man paused, and thought for a moment. While Laketown itself wasn't much to look at, the natural nature more often than not made up for it. But it had been a while since Bard had stopped to actually enjoy the sights that nature presented to him.

"I guess we do." Bard agreed softly.

"And I'm guessing that is Laketown?" Ori piped up, pointing across the water.

"Aye." Bard replied grimly as he directed his barge. "Keep quiet while I talk to the guard. Despite the paperwork saying that you've already paid the traveler's tax, you might get charged again if you irritate whoever is there enough."

The dwarves and hobbits immediately checked to see how much coin they had left on their persons. They'd be able to avoid

"Halt, goods inspection!" Percy called from his post, making Bard relax a touch. "Papers, please. Oh, it's you Bard. And you have more than barrels."

"They paid the traveler's tax, here's the paperwork for that." Bard replied as he handed over the necessary papers. "And here are the papers for the barrels."

"Good, anything to declare?" Percy asked.

"Just that I'm cold, tired, and ready for home." Bard nodded.

"You and me both." Percy sighed, giving the passengers on the barge another look before he went inside, stamped the papers, and held them out to Bard. " There we are. All in order."

"Not, so, fast." Alfrid Lickspittle took the papers from Percy's hands, keeping his eyes on Bard. "These papers are for, 'Consignment of empty barrels from the Woodland Realm'. And yet, you have 19 extra passengers on board your barge, which is illegal."

"Did he not read the tax papers?" Pippin 'whispered' to the others.

Alfrid glanced more closely at the papers in his hands, and saw that the passengers had indeed paid the traveler's tax and had been placed on Bard's boat for the rest of the trip into Laketown. It would be quite a shame if this paperwork was lost, the wind was picking up a bit with the sunset, as it always did. An unexpected gust made the papers 'slip' through Alfrid's fingers and he watched as they fell towards the water.

The man wasn't expecting a strange creature that wasn't a dwarf to snatch the papers up less than an inch away from the water.

"That would have been messy." Bilbo commented airily, but had pinned Alfrid with a look of disgust. "We would have had to pay another tax, which wouldn't have been fair since we've already paid it."

"Indeed." Alfrid managed a weak and brief smile that vanished as soon as he turned around, stalking past the guards to report back to the Master. "Let's go."

"Raise the gate!" Percy yelled as Bard and Bilbo hopped back on the barge.

The guards that had been waiting for the call grunted as they spun the mechanism that opened the gate. They were quite tired of Alfrid and the Master of Laketown trying to get Bard in trouble, especially since he hadn't done anything wrong. The only thing 'wrong' with Bard, was the fact that he and his children were the true descendants of Girion. The Master of Laketown could only claim that ancestry via his great-aunt's marriage, but not by blood.

"The Master has his eye on you." Alfrid doubled back, anger obviously on his face. "You'll do well to remember Bard, we know where you live."

"It's a small town Alfrid." Bard sighed as he got the barge of empty wine barrels, dwarves, and hobbits going again. "Everyone knows where everyone lives."

Bilbo kept his eyes pinned on the man in black, and couldn't stop the snicker when two 'innocent' ladies kept walking after Alfrid got hit with a couple of eggs. Served the spineless jerk right. Thorin tugged Bilbo away from the edge of the barge and into his arms, but his eyes were also alit with humor. Entering Laketown had gone much smoother than it had last lifetime.

Hopefully, it would stay that way.

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 _Timeline_

September 21st, year 2931: The barrel escape and an orc attack is led by Bolg.

September 22nd, year 2931: Bilbo's 41st birthday, meet Bard, and enter Laketown, (21 weeks after departure from Bag End).

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And end of chapter.

Is it just me, or was there a lot of dialogue once they met Bard?

Anywho, please review/comment and let me know what you thought!


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